Lack of Communication

[butterfly]

Don't you hate it when you're chastised for something you didn't even know you were doing? It seems that all too often, I find that my SO is upset with something I have done or am doing. Sometimes it's minor, and other times not so much. I understand that people are not required to voice every single thought that crosses their mind, but if something someone is doing really bothers you, don't you think that it would be in your best interest to discuss it with them to try and resolve the issue? So as not to sound like a hypocrite, I have had this same convo with my SO recently, but I wanted you all to read and give your thoughts. But he, on the other hand, thinks that the best way to fix the problem is to keep it bottled in and vent to everyone on here. (Yay! Let's bash the wifey so I can fell better about myself!) Meanwhile, I have no way of knowing what I am doing is bothering him, and can't take the steps necessary to fix it. Am I making any sense?

[Boozy]

It's the elusive Mrs. Faroohk! Welcome.

And I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole. :D

[Greenday]

How about telling your ex that you are still in love with and they know it that even though you are still their best friend, it isn't right that they tell you about the other guys they want to do stuff with or that you just had a threesome because you were drunk and you still haven't done much of anything sexually so this was to help give you more confidence in doing stuff in the future and that it's something you needed to do before you settle down, then act all surprise when I tell you how fucked up that is to tell me that. Telling me now because you think it might slip out when you are drunk isn't an excuse. Yes, I want you to be happy, but not at the expense of making me depressed for two straight days now to the point where I just sit here at work, waiting to puke because it makes my physically sick. I don't want to hear about slutty acts and yes, that's what this was, a slutty act.

Sorry for the thread hijack, but damnit, telling it like it is actually feels better.

[blas87]

Is this for real?

[Greenday]

Who? Me? If so, then yes.

[BroomJockey]

wow lol I actually thought it was my wife for a sec. she even likes butterflies.


Comes from the same IP address as you're posting from. It's either you, her, or someone with access to your computer.

[Greenday]

Comes from the same IP address as you're posting from. It's either you, her, or someone with access to your computer.

Ouch. You're beat.

[BroomJockey]

Wait so it is her?

Unless someone else has access to your computer, it appears so.

What about the other guy who responded to it?
Which? Boozy? She has all the same information I have. She was just letting people know what was up, so that no one said anything untowards. Greenday? He was just thread-jacking. The scamp.

[Greenday]

I have to admit, I am so lost right now.

[Pedersen]

And I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole. :D

Boozy, for once, we are in 100% agreement, no reservations or qualifications :D

[Nyoibo]

Why is BJ quoting Faroohk from posts I can't see, am I missing something, or did I manage to stuff up my settings again?

[powerboy]

That is what I am trying to figure out. Probably was there and get got deleted.

[BroomJockey]

Why is BJ quoting Faroohk from posts I can't see,

That is what I am trying to figure out. Probably was there and get got deleted.

PB nailed it in one.

[Nyoibo]

So long as it's not me screwing things up again I'm good with it.

[butterfly]

Okay, so I've been found out.

To be honest though, despite him probably being pissed at me, though notexactly sure why, I am rather glad I've been able to read some of his posts to get a better understanding of how he's feeling. Call it what you wish, I prefer to think of it as "taking the means necessary to communicate".

To let you all in, it has actually been a pretty reliable, and successful tool for us to vent our frustrations in the past..writing each other notes to express ourselves and resolving tough issues. Perhaps this is just another means by which to do that.

I just hope that in the future, we are both able to communicate to each other (however we choose to do so) in a more timely fashion, before giving ourselves time to boil a simple aggravation into a huge issue.

Honey, forgive me in advance, that, like millions of other people in the world, I may not be able to completely eliminate the possibility that I may repeat, assuredly unintentional, the same minor offense. But I promise to try, if you will only let me know what is on your mind.

Just because I want EVERYONE to know....I love you, honey. So very much. And it would really make my day to see you say it on here too. Hope you're not mad at me for too long.

[DrFaroohk]

Ok so here's why I post here on Fratching and bitch about my family or other things:

1) I know that I'm a complete asshole. I know it. It sucks. Most people are assholes and don't know it, and they are very comfortable living their asshole lives. I'm completely aware of being an asshole and am always trying to fight it. Sometimes its hard, so I come to anonymous places like this to complain about things I know I'm probably wrong about. I mean, where else am I going to complain that my 5 year old stepson is annoying as all hell? I learned from my parents that step families are touchy, touchy situations, and that bitching to my partner about what I think is wrong with her kid isn't going to get us anywhere except into a fight.

2) I know that whatever has me upset isn't the real issue. It's more likely just a manifestation of my anxiety and depression problems. Again, I still feel like I need to bitch, at least to vent and relieve some pressure, but I don't want to take it out on my wife and family.

3) Sometimes I feel like I CAN'T talk about what I want to. We want to have open communication, but many times the conversation is entirely one sided, met with scores of resounding silence.

And then comes in the snooping....

I honestly feel violated about the whole thing. I know its a public message board, but I came here to talk about stuff. She came here to spy on me. Big difference. and it wasn't to spy on me to see if I have a drug problem or if I'm cheating on her, it was just because she saw the history on the browser and decided she was going to be nosy. That's what upsets me about it.

I love you too honey! You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm sorry I'm weird and probably crazy and I'm trying my best to act like a normal person at home and to do that I have to be crazy SOMEWHERE and this seems like the best place to do that, but I can't anymore. I'll be finding some other place to be crazy now, and I hope my privacy will be better respected there.

So to get this off my chest, yes, what happened to your facebook page was because of me. I probably went a little overboard but I'm hoping I instilled that same feeling in you. I hope you felt a little sick in your stomach thinking "Oh my god, my personal space and privacy has just been violated, now I know how it feels."

I for one definitely know how YOU feel now, coming onto the internet to find someone complaining about you. Maybe we can both work on our communication skills a little better, huh? I'll try to be more open about what I'm feeling if you can maybe be a little more receptive?

[AFPheonix]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmUlKPthrag

[blas87]

I am still lost here.

[AFPheonix]

Basically, someone got in trooooouuuuuble....

[blas87]

Well, color me tittered.

While this may not serve as an advice forum per se, I feel a little fooled that I actually responded to that fake stuff.

[Greenday]

Fake stuff?

[Cassandra]

I, for one, am a little skeptical about this whole thing. It just feels weird. I will not outright accuse either person, but I will say this:

This is just too....uh...perfectly played out....

[anriana]

This reminds of that thread on CS where someone got paid $20/hr and a college education to work at a library and then a patron masturbated with a public phone.

[blas87]

Haha, you remember that too?

I feel fooled, I truly do. I mean, the monkey thread was a little iffy, but I figured it was to lighten the mood and maybe break the ice.

But then the threads just got sillier and sillier and there was always some hidden meaning or joke.....now that the mods have discovered the same IP address....game over.

Wow. If you're going to screw with people, please have half of a functioning brain to fool them the right way.

[Boozy]

For the record: Butterfly and Dr. Faroohk have the same IP address. I'm failing to see how that means that any of this is fake. They are husband and wife.

It's impossible to know whether anything anyone posts on an internet forum is real, but I also don't see any solid evidence of trickery on Dr. Faroohk's part. Why is everyone jumping to such a conclusion?

[Giggle Goose]

This reminds of that thread on CS where someone got paid $20/hr and a college education to work at a library and then a patron masturbated with a public phone.

LMAO I forgot about that!!! I stopped reading this after the first few posts, it hurts my brain.

[blas87]

Idk, my bullshit detector has just been going off lately. I lost interest in responding to certain threads because (in my opinion) I felt they weren't even seeking advice or a real conversation, just a joke or wanting attention.

Just like on CS, I quit responding to a certain poster's threads because I no longer actually believe that the conversations actually really happen....while I may have little to no faith left in humans, I really highly doubt that every single call or thread post is actually real.

[Nyoibo]

but I also don't see any solid evidence of trickery on Dr. Faroohk's part. Why is everyone jumping to such a conclusion?

Because everyone knows t3h Internetz is serious business!

[Cassandra]

For the record: Butterfly and Dr. Faroohk have the same IP address. I'm failing to see how that means that any of this is fake. They are husband and wife.

It's impossible to know whether anything anyone posts on an internet forum is real, but I also don't see any solid evidence of trickery on Dr. Faroohk's part. Why is everyone jumping to such a conclusion?

I agree that it is impossible to know this, but it just feels a little funny to me.

As I stated before, I am not accusing anyone of anything right now, but...I don't know...it played out a little too perfectly for me.

Maybe I'm being a little cyincal (I'm known to do that).

If this is whole tread is true then I pass on my congrats to Butterfly and Dr. Faroohk at being able to work things through and I give my best wishes that things will continue to unfold in a wonderous way.

[DrFaroohk]

Yeah we do pretty well. We have our little spats every now and then but mostly its paradise here. I do tend to bitch a lot just because, but fortunately my wife is awesome enough to put up with me for some reason or another. :)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Just like on CS, I quit responding to a certain poster's threads because I no longer actually believe that the conversations actually really happen....while I may have little to no faith left in humans, I really highly doubt that every single call or thread post is actually real.
Eh, mine are; if I was making shit up, I'd like to think there'd be more car chases, shoot outs and killer penguins in my threads, as opposed to just me ranting about rude or annoying customers. :D

[blas87]

No worries Lace, I was certainly not speaking of you.