Easily Offended

[DrFaroohk]

With the recent posts about people's choice of so-called "offensive" language, I've been noticing trends in the different types of people that align with several others that I know.

So far I've discovered that there are 3 types of easily offended people.

The first type are genuinely offended. For whatever reason, maybe they ARE one of groups of people who the word could describe (i.e. "r-word" or "n-word") or they are very close to someone who is, or at the very least they've experienced levels of intolerance that make them overly sensitive.

These people are ok. Nothing wrong with getting upset about something that upsets you, right? That's just how they feel.

But then there's two other types that I keep finding in my travels.

The second and third types aren't really offended at all - in fact they often don't even know what the word really means. The second type usually is trying to blow smoke - such as they're on the losing end of an argument. Oh no, all my logic and lawyering abilities have failed me! What to do? Oh, wait, that guy said the the word bastard! Well I'm offended because what if someone really was a bastard, and this person is making it sound like a really negative word, so I'm gonna jump on that and hopefully no one will notice how stupid I really am!

Then there's the third kind - the liberal rights poser. In a quest to show off how awesomely open minded they are, they are willing to undertake any crusade of justice....as long as it only involves people's words and nothing that actually matters. I think I hate those ones the most. They can literally take a step back and FUCK THEIR OWN FACE!!!

Ok movie reference, sorry. But you know what I mean.

[Greenday]

I actually prefer the third example over the second. At least the third example would be someone who actually gives a crap. The person is the second case is just acting offended. The person in the third case is actually concerned over the word/phrase being used.

[DrFaroohk]

The ones I'm talking about DON'T give a crap about the word being used. If suddenly someone just invented a new word like Snargazzle and they said it was a slang for Canadians, they'd immediately jump on that bandwagon. They're not interested in other people's sensitivities, they're just furthering their own agenda of coolness.

[Greenday]

Hm, maybe I just midread it then. Yea, if someone acts offended just to look cool and progressive, then yea, they are pretty lame.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I just think it's stupid that people say, "OMG your use of the word retard/Christmas/fat/shortarse/ginger really offends me. So quit using it cuz I am offended and therefore I am so much more speshul than you so my rights trump yours!" Those kind of people deserve a punch on the nose. Great, you're offended. Big deal. Just suck it up. Bitching about words people use is pointless; as is being offended over stuff like Christmas. The offendee shouldn't act as tho everyone should bend over backwards in order that their precious feelings shouldn't be hurt.

I can understand if a person is being sworn at, or if vile sexual abuse is being used, or racist terms. But if the word that you're shitting your knickers over is just a word like "ginger" or "chav", then get a life, seriously.

[telecom_goddess]

I just think it's stupid that people say, "OMG your use of the word retard/Christmas/fat/shortarse/ginger really offends me. So quit using it cuz I am offended and therefore I am so much more speshul than you so my rights trump yours!" Those kind of people deserve a punch on the nose. Great, you're offended. Big deal. Just suck it up. Bitching about words people use is pointless; as is being offended over stuff like Christmas. The offendee shouldn't act as tho everyone should bend over backwards in order that their precious feelings shouldn't be hurt.

I can understand if a person is being sworn at, or if vile sexual abuse is being used, or racist terms. But if the word that you're shitting your knickers over is just a word like "ginger" or "chav", then get a life, seriously.

I so agree with you! In fact one of my favorite songs is one by the Eagles -- Get Over It....it's basically saying the same thing you are.

I really am soooooooo sick and tired of people who get "offended" at everything or who "might" get offended....big deal.......like you said they can suck it up and move on. If they are that delicate maybe they need go go live with others like them in a sealed bubble where there is no color, no music, no movies, no books, no NOTHING that could possibly offend ANYONE.

:D

[DrFaroohk]

especially when you're like "I hate all those <offensive word>'s who do X Y and Z." and then someone is like "OOOOOH you said <offensive word!>! I'm too stupid to actually comprehend anything so I'm going to pick on the fact that you said <offensive word>!!!! DERRR! DERRR! DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

[violetyoshi]

I've always wondered why so many people complain about oversensitivity, when it's insensitivity that causes so much more problems.

[Nyoibo]

Only to those who are too sensitive.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Exactly. I used to be oversensitive; even the slightest little thing would set me off crying. Now tho, I'm much thicker skinned and I just couldn't give two shits at most things now. Case in point; at a party, this girl called me a fat cow. Back when I was a kid, that would have made me burst into floods of tears. Now, I just smirked at her and said, "Well, I can lose weight. But you can never lose the ugly." She was the one who rushed off upset. Nasty? True, but I wasn't referring to looks; she was ugly inside and that's what counts.

Point is, a lot of people need to grow a thicker skin and stop being offended and upset at every little thing.

[DesignFox]

<snip>

Point is, a lot of people need to grow a thicker skin and stop being offended and upset at every little thing.

YES.

I'm so sick of political correct bullshit.

I'm not saying people should be completely insensitive, but words are only as hurtful and offensive as you allow them to be.

Sticks and stones...as the saying goes.

If I don't like something someone is saying, I don't listen to them. Just as I don't watch movies or TV shows or play video games I find offensive. I don't buy products from companies who use offensive advertising...etc.

I can't tell other people how to run their lives. I can decide who to keep company with and whether or not it's worth being offended by their language. And in the case of everything else, I can vote with my money, or I can lead by example.

[violetyoshi]

Only to those who are too sensitive.

Actually insensitivity, or a lack of morals and understanding of empathy, lead to violence, abuse, and in some cases murder.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Bullcrap. Most murderers have suffered abuse in childhood or have received head injuries. True, there are some exceptions, but in no case was murder the result of someone developing a spine.

[Slytovhand]

I'd have to argue against that one Lace... a couple of real-life examples turned into movies about that.... sort of like a breaking point.

sure, not quite how you meant it, but still...

Anyway, I will ask the question then... 'ghey'... would people consider a person offended by that as being overly sensitive? I think not, and it's a perfectly legit call. Why? Because those who use it would love to be able to say 'gay' as a derogatory term, but know they can't, so they mis-spell it.. it still means the same thing underneath...


DrF, your original point is extremely valid! And it's a brilliant crap move that's been done to death in many forms... let's pick on some part of the argument which isn't worth arguing about, to divert attention away from the original point... and hold up everything and hope it just goes away.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Slyt, so called "true life" movies are very rarely entirely true to life, and in any case, you're probably misunderstanding what I'm meaning anyway. I'm used to it by now. In any case, I highly doubt that a person committed a murder solely due to them gaining a thicker skin when the main factors behind murders are sex, money or anger. Or possibly all three.

[Nyoibo]

Actually insensitivity, or a lack of morals and understanding of empathy, lead to violence, abuse, and in some cases murder.

Except the insensititve one is usually the one who is on the recieving end of the violence, usually because they say something insensitive to someone who is overlysensitive and they react by lashing out.

[violetyoshi]

Except the insensititve one is usually the one who is on the recieving end of the violence, usually because they say something insensitive to someone who is overlysensitive and they react by lashing out.

Shouldn't that then motivate the insensitive person to be more sensitive, rather than demanding their right to be less. Wouldn't the insensitive person want to learn how to be a better person, and hurt less people?

[the_std]

Shouldn't that then motivate the insensitive person to be more sensitive, rather than demanding their right to be less.

Getting attacked is rarely good motivation to change one's ways or habits. Why would I want to be more sensitive if the people who are more sensitive are the ones who are lashing out?

[Nyoibo]

Shouldn't that then motivate the insensitive person to be more sensitive, rather than demanding their right to be less. Wouldn't the insensitive person want to learn how to be a better person, and hurt less people?

Getting attacked is rarely good motivation to change one's ways or habits. Why would I want to be more sensitive if the people who are more sensitive are the ones who are lashing out?

Exactly, now ask yourself, if I was to use that same arguement for women getting raped, would you accept that, that they should dress more conservatively so they don't tempt men?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Plus, being oversensitive is NOT a good thing. As you go thru life, you have to understand that people are in no way obliged to be nice to you or to censor themselves for you.

[Slytovhand]

Slyt, so called "true life" movies are very rarely entirely true to life, and in any case, you're probably misunderstanding what I'm meaning anyway. I'm used to it by now. In any case, I highly doubt that a person committed a murder solely due to them gaining a thicker skin when the main factors behind murders are sex, money or anger. Or possibly all three.

WHAT???? :shock:

True life movies aren't entirely true to life??? Since when????????


:p


But I think we're probably more debating semantics here. Is the school mass murderer developing a spine? Or just acting out of anger? How closely are the 2 related? (that's all I was pointing out... often times, it takes getting angry to develop said spine, tis all. So, I'd say it's an unhealthy way to toughen up!)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Nope, that's still anger; and probably psychological illness behind it, too. Murder rarely springs out of a vaccum... and school shootings are nowhere near as common as the media would have you believe. If they were, they would no longer be news.

[violetyoshi]

Getting attacked is rarely good motivation to change one's ways or habits. Why would I want to be more sensitive if the people who are more sensitive are the ones who are lashing out?

To defend yourself. It's easier than taking a martial arts class. They're not lashing out, they are trying to explain themselves to you. You see it as lashing out, because you don't like the idea that people in this world have a right to have compassion.

Exactly, now ask yourself, if I was to use that same arguement for women getting raped, would you accept that, that they should dress more conservatively so they don't tempt men?

That's off topic, and besides the point. It's as simple as not using a word, why is that so difficult for people to learn how to do?

Plus, being oversensitive is NOT a good thing. As you go thru life, you have to understand that people are in no way obliged to be nice to you or to censor themselves for you.

Being insensitive also is not a good way to go through life, people will see you as uncaring, and having a lack of morals.

Perhaps I should just report every post using the term retard derogatorily to a mod and let them handle it. It's like dealing with stubborn bratty children, who want their right to say a bad word. Don't most people get past the, bad language is so cool, stage after the teenage years?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That's off topic, and besides the point. It's as simple as not using a word, why is that so difficult for people to learn how to do?


Actually, I thought it was a brilliant point. To suggest that someone should be careful of what they say lest they tempt someone to lose control and lash out at them is as crazy as saying a rape victim "asked for it" or that a domestic abuse victim "pushed the spouse to it."

While I dislike the word as much as you do, I don't have a right to never see or hear it. I do not have a right to be always shielded from offense. I suppose you could go crying to a mod everytime you see something that offends you, but if the forum is THAT offensive to you, why hang out here? You have every right to find like minded people around you to talk to...but you have no right to insist any exsisting group of people conform to your standards. You kind of have to accept a certain amount of give and take in any group.

People want to say it. You don't want them to. They continue to say it, you continue to fight it. Stubborn runs both ways.

[Lace Neil Singer]

My answer to anyone who constantly whines and cries about being offended on a message board is this; if you want the forum run your own way, then feel free to make one of your own, with your own rules and only have people there who will nod their heads sycophantically to everything you say. Then you won't have to deal with horrible meanypants who keep *gasp!* refusing to bend over backwards so they don't hurt your liddle pwecious feelings.

[guywithashovel]

This reminds me of something people often say in regards to politics. And that is that "the truth is always somewhere in the middle." Regardless of whether or not that is true, I think that principle can be applied to this situation.

On one hand, it is necessary to be courteous and thoughtful and try not to upset other people. However, if it gets to where people are getting upset over words that are actually quite innocuous, and people are constantly having to update their language so that they can use alternative words that don't offend the easily offended people, then the situation has gone overboard. Also, if people are expected to walk on eggshells around certain people because of their various issues and insecurities, then there is a problem.

A couple summers ago in grad school, I took an ethics class. There was a woman in there whose son had Cerebral Palsy. I'm not kidding, she literally expected the world to come to a halt for him. I know this because of the stories she told during class discussions. If she went somewhere in public, and they didn't have the types of accommodations that SHE thought were necessary (and not just the ones that were required), she would start giving people static. Also, she would get snippy with anyone else in the class if they talked about disability issues, because apparently no one else except her could possibly comprehend the issues that disabled (or differently-abled) people face.



Long story short, find a comfortable middle ground.

[Pedersen]

Emphasis added by me:
Except the insensititve one is usually the one who is on the recieving end of the violence, usually because they say something insensitive to someone who is overlysensitive and they react by lashing out.

To defend yourself. It's easier than taking a martial arts class. They're not lashing out, they are trying to explain themselves to you. You see it as lashing out, because you don't like the idea that people in this world have a right to have compassion.

violetyoshi, it's not just lashing out. It's the infliction of physical harm by the oversensitive on the undersensitive/insensitive. As such, this quote:

Exactly, now ask yourself, if I was to use that same arguement for women getting raped, would you accept that, that they should dress more conservatively so they don't tempt men?

is very apropros, and your response:

That's off topic, and besides the point.

is an attempt to change the semantics of the debate. Someone is made the victim of violence due to something about the victim. Words, sexual orientation, gender, religious group, race, and too many other things can all be listed in a similar fashion. Let's make it a nicely generic question:

Since <person> is <X, where X is one of the groups above>, does that then justify violence against <person> when <other person> finds <X> intolerable?

It's as simple as not using a word, why is that so difficult for people to learn how to do?

The problem comes from a simple fact: In all of our lives, we experience moments when the thoughts we have are unkind. Failure to express those thoughts (at least on occasion) results in negative physical affects (stress goes up when we bottle ourselves up too much, and the effects of stress are easily determined from a Google search (http://www.google.com/search?q=effects+of+stress)).

As a result, we sometimes have to express these negative thoughts, lest we wind up harming ourselves. In so doing, it is very likely that someone will be offended. Do we allow the fact that someone will have temporary emotional distress to override the need to express these thoughts, especially when the failure to express these thoughts can result in serious (life shortening) negative impact on the holder of the thoughts?

That also provides the basis for even larger issues: Since any given thought can provide offense for somebody, all thoughts would have to be rigidly controlled, and all expression would likely have to cease entirely.

That is not a good world in which to live. I would rather have somebody speak their mind around me, especially if I would find it offensive. That just tells me who I should ignore from that point on.

Being insensitive also is not a good way to go through life, people will see you as uncaring, and having a lack of morals.

If somebody else has a problem with me, then that is that person's problem, not mine. I will do what I can to make other people's lives better, but not at the level of expense you seem to be demanding. I am myself, and will not sacrifice my own self-identity (as expressed by the words I choose to use) to appease people around me without extremely good reason. So far, such reason has yet to be demonstrated in this thread for this word.

Perhaps I should just report every post using the term retard derogatorily to a mod and let them handle it.

Yes, you should. Definitely. You won't see a single person tell you not to do that, and the mods try to encourage it. Go for it. Have a "report button" party, if you wish.

It's like dealing with stubborn bratty children, who want their right to say a bad word. Don't most people get past the, bad language is so cool, stage after the teenage years?

Of course, with the logic you've demonstrated, I could point that you are doing your own name calling here. After all, people who refuse to stop using a word are just like "stubborn bratty children".

Be careful with that brush you're wielding. Looks like some of the tar is getting onto you.

[Flyndaran]

I sometimes watch a tv program just to get offended. I like to think it as a form of "Relax, everyone's a douche." exercise.