Being DD

[blas87]

I don't care what commercials or anyone else says, being Designated Driver is NOT the nicest, most selfless thing you could ever do for someone. It's the most annoying, thankless job in the entire world.

You cannot reason with drunk people. You cannot talk to drunk people. It's the most annoying thing to be around drunk people when you are not drunk.

I'm not the DD who doesn't drink anything, I will have one or two, but that's it. And I don't NEED alcohol to have fun, but it annoys me how everyone else around me is letting loose, being loud and annoying, having tons of fun, and I have to babysit myself and drink soda and water and get made fun of for it....or be bullied by idiots "Aw come on, I'm driving too, hyuck hyuck, and I've had 10 beers!!!"

I won't risk a DUI. I know my limits and that's what I stick to. I won't be a statistic and I will not risk trouble just to have "fun".

I'm not going to be doing this again until some of my friends and my bf grow the fuck up. If I VOLUNTEER to take you guys out, then I expect that we will leave when we first agreed that we'd leave. We will NOT stay until bar close, and you will not with your drunken stupidity yell at me and call me a bitch and a "square" for telling you that I want to leave. I'm sick of being called both of those names and being called a "spoil sport" because I want to leave. I hate being yelled at for volunteering when I was supposed to "know" that they'd get so drunk they wouldn't want to leave.

Maybe I should have known better, but it's another thing altogether to take advantage of my generosity and how much I care about you to call me names and yell at me that we're staying anyway and I'm going to deal with it.

See, you can't reason with drunk people.

I wish I didn't care so much, and I could just leave them at the bar and make them find their own way home. But then that would put my lady friends at risk for being taken home by strange men who may just leave their dead bodies floating in the river, and my guy friends to try to drive someone else's vehicle and get in a crash. And my own boyfriend....to do something really dumb and get arrested.

Thanks for letting me vent. I can't wait until I can just go out and about with a small group of friends, we can all take the drunk bus and I don't have to babysit anyone OR myself.

[elsporko]

I think you need to stop hanging out with assholes who make fun of people for not drinking.

[Greenday]

My friends are a bunch of lazy SOBs. They NEVER drive. What really pisses me off is that the majority of them, when I am the DD, only have a beer or two. If you are only having a beer or two, and you knew that's how much you were going to drink, you don't need to make someone who'd rather be actually drinking be the DD. Laziness isn't an excuse.

[powerboy]

I also only drink 1-2 if I am going to be driving. I know my limits and I will also not be risking a DUI to make some jackass happy.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I was fairly certain that it was possible to hire some transport that is to say a hired vehicle to take one to their next port of call :rolleyes:

Or are Taxis really that cheap 'round here compared to everywhere else?

[AdminAssistant]

I'm not 100% my town even has taxis. The university provides a couple of safebuses...but meh. I don't go out drinking much anyway; it's much safer and easier to do it at home.

[Nyoibo]

Firstly, damn it, I thought this thread was going to be about boobies.

Now, to the actual thread, yeah, drunk people are dicks unless you're drunk along with them, I say next time they act like that you go anyway and let them find their own way home.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm never the designated driver. Before you yell at me; it's not due to laziness. I actually can not drive a car; just a motorbike. Since only a couple of my friends drive, they end up driving, usually. We usually just try to fix things so they can drink, like staying over at their house afterwards, or getting a taxi back and train up.

If I'm driving anywhere, I will not drink any alcohol whatsoever. While you might be able to save yourself in some situations on four wheels, on two you won't.

[Bloodsoul]

Firstly, damn it, I thought this thread was going to be about boobies.
Same.

By the way, what happens when you mix alcohol with laxatives? :D

[blas87]

Pardon the misleading thread title, I hadn't even thought of that.

Yeah, I'm not quite that big.

As far as cabs, they are expensive. Sure, cheaper than a DUI, cheaper than an accident, but not cheap in general. It's $10 for me to take a cab from my apartment to a bar 3 miles away. I wouldn't mind it so much if we were staying the night at my place (because hell, we could WALK) but because of my neighbors and their tendencies, I've taken to always staying at my bf's place on the weekends, a few miles out of town, but $15-$20 for a cab.

I mean, if it's just me and him and we want a couple of drinks after eating or going to a movie, he can control himself and we can actually LEAVE after a couple drinks, there's no one there encouraging him or buying drinks for him (he has this luck where he just makes new friends so easily or his friends introduce him to new friends and he always gets free drinks...moreso than me...pisses me off cuz I'm supposed to be the cute girl who gets free drinks)....or our friends, if they are taking a cab or getting picked up, they'll just encourage him to get drunker and drunker and harrass me to leave my car at the bar and just let loose with them or just risk driving.

Hell no. Everyone who pulls that will get caught eventually. You cannot get away with it. I'm not even going to try risking having one too many and driving.

[powerboy]

Cabs are expensive. It would cost about $25 -$30 for the ride back. I am not made of money. There are safe buses around here. But they only go so far and where I live. That is not an option. Plus no buses runs around at night anyway.

But now if I am going to be drinking alot, I am at home or at a friends place and I can crash there. If I go out, I'll drink a glass of wine or a glass of beer. But one does not have no effect on me at all.

[Cymberleah]

I, too, thought this was initially about cup size. I was all ready to commiserate with the sisterhood about how annoying it is when people ogle, and then was shocked to discover the topic was actually booze.

Bait and switch, I say.

On the subject of taxis, I noticed today that the Seattle area rates are something like $2.50 for a pickup and $2.10 per mile driven. I live comparatively close to the downtown core (given that there is a nice big lake next to the city causing some sprawl), and it would be nearly $50 for me to take a cab home if I got too drunk to drive.

My only response to people being dicks when they are drunk/high and I'm sober is to mess with them. I'm amused, but generally not asked to come back to be the only sober one on future drinking occasions. Win/win.

[Giggle Goose]

I swear you read my mind!!! It was the boyfriend's birthday and I had to play babysitter while he showed off for everyone and then got kicked out of one of the bars:rolleyes: (kinda hard to explain, but this place was like a few different restaurants in one).

Not only did he take it for granted, but I had to sit there and listen while he told the same story (I counted 11 times) on the way home. For all you people who do this thankless job-- just keep track of how often you do and and remember that payback's a bitch! (Especially cuz it's MY bday in a month)!!!!

Don't even get me started on my sister...she doesn't drive at all, so she figures she can get completely shitty ANYTIME we go out. It's great to designate a DD, but it's always ME 9 times out of 10. I gotta start saying "no."

[Boozy]

Drunk people are fun when you are drunk.

Drunk people are disgusting and obnoxious when you are sober.

Driving one's drunk friends around is a selfless act, and the least they can do is not annoy the living shit out of their DD for the entire night.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Or buy them a super present if they do to make up for things. XD

[blas87]

I thank you all for your kind words and support, and especially to Boozy....to the hundreth degree, YES. That's the absolute least that you can do. If someone is nice enough to deal with your stupid drunkness all night, for the love of all that is nice and good, DO NOT yell at or argue with the DD.

[crazylegs]

As and when I'm DD I don't drink at all, not a drop of alcohol will pass my lips - if I know I'm driving later that day I won't drink during the day (point in hand - at a celebration on Saturday when toasting someone happy birthday I wouldn't have a mouthful of Champagne because I would be driving 4 hours later).

Perhaps it's a little of an over reaction on my part but that's just me, I've seen too many accidents caused by someone having 'just one or two' and they've been well over the limit. I have no idea how well my liver functions so I don't want to find out the hard way.

I'm generally DD anyhow as I don't tend to drink much when I'm out when I'm not DD, so it's not much of a hardship for me.

[insertNameHere]

In college my fraternity had a sober brother (SB) program on weekends from 11pm-3am, two people couldn't drink and had to be on call to pick up drunks and take them home. We were all supposed to take turns which someone people tried getting out of. We also had those wonderful brothers who would call at 2:55am demanding a ride home when at 2:30am you were there and offered them the open spot in the car and they refused to leave early. And depending on where the party was that night, usually the SB would be there anyways and expected to act as a bouncer, not really the point of program.

I agree that being a DD is over looked and under appreciated. It really sucks when nobody is willing to be the DD. Also, I live far enough out in the country that I have to crash where I intend on drinking because getting a ride not going to happen. Miss college where you could hit the bar at at most with was 2-3 mile walk home with friends. Along with the university had buses and a shuttle depending on where you needed to go and when.

[Greenday]

As and when I'm DD I don't drink at all, not a drop of alcohol will pass my lips - if I know I'm driving later that day I won't drink during the day (point in hand - at a celebration on Saturday when toasting someone happy birthday I wouldn't have a mouthful of Champagne because I would be driving 4 hours later).

Perhaps it's a little of an over reaction on my part but that's just me, I've seen too many accidents caused by someone having 'just one or two' and they've been well over the limit. I have no idea how well my liver functions so I don't want to find out the hard way.

I'm generally DD anyhow as I don't tend to drink much when I'm out when I'm not DD, so it's not much of a hardship for me.

Unless you are REALLY small and chug two drinks down, you won't be impaired. Hell, you won't even be over the legal limit. People just claim "one or two drinks" because they are douchebags and refuse to own up to what they did. If it only took one or two drinks to seriously impair you, you'd probably see dozens of car wrecks per town each night.

[XCashier]

If I VOLUNTEER to take you guys out, then I expect that we will leave when we first agreed that we'd leave. We will NOT stay until bar close, and you will not with your drunken stupidity yell at me and call me a bitch and a "square" for telling you that I want to leave. I'm sick of being called both of those names and being called a "spoil sport" because I want to leave. I hate being yelled at for volunteering when I was supposed to "know" that they'd get so drunk they wouldn't want to leave.
I wonder if it would be possible to bring a video camera with you. Film them when they start getting stupid, keep filming them when they throw the namecalling and verbal abuse at you. Then when they're sober, show them the video and show them what assholes they're being to someone who is doing them a favor (i.e., you for being Designated Driver). They should be ashamed of themselves, and they owe you major apologies for their behavior.

I am sorry you've gone through this, and they keep putting you through this. :(

[crazylegs]

Unless you are REALLY small and chug two drinks down, you won't be impaired. Hell, you won't even be over the legal limit.

Really?

Two pints of the cider I drink is over 6 units. That's enough to make quite a few people over the legal limit (in the UK).

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't drink beer. I drink vodka, and alcopops. Besides, I find it hard to stop at two, so it's best not to have any. And like I said, on two wheels you have to be more careful.

[Nyoibo]

Really?

Two pints of the cider I drink is over 6 units. That's enough to make quite a few people over the legal limit (in the UK).

Yes really a pint is not a standard drink, 2 standard drinks will not put you over the limit.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Wouldn't it be nice if you could buy your own breathalyzer so you can check yourself before driving or to find out what your limits are?

[Nyoibo]

Um, I thought you could?

[crazylegs]

Yes really a pint is not a standard drink, 2 standard drinks will not put you over the limit.

Over here a pint is a standard measure.

[Rapscallion]

I wonder if it would be possible to bring a video camera with you. Film them when they start getting stupid, keep filming them when they throw the namecalling and verbal abuse at you. Then when they're sober, show them the video and show them what assholes they're being to someone who is doing them a favor (i.e., you for being Designated Driver). They should be ashamed of themselves, and they owe you major apologies for their behavior.

I suspect the presence of a filming device of any sort will be to encourage the behaviour.

Rapscallion

[Lace Neil Singer]

And also encourage more and worse bad behaviour... O.o

[Boozy]

Unless you are REALLY small and chug two drinks down, you won't be impaired. Hell, you won't even be over the legal limit. People just claim "one or two drinks" because they are douchebags and refuse to own up to what they did. If it only took one or two drinks to seriously impair you, you'd probably see dozens of car wrecks per town each night.

Impairment is not measured by whether or not you crash the car. It's measured in slower reaction times and poor judgement, which increase your chances of a crash.

Neither I nor my husband would be able to have two drinks in a few hours and feel safe to drive. You don't have to feel drunk to be impaired.

[elsporko]

A few drinks over the course of a few hours isn't any worse then driving while tired, on the phone, or singing along with Lady Gaga on the radio. When I go out I drink as much as I want and drive home without any problems. If you're a good driver its not that big of a deal.

[insertNameHere]

A few drinks over the course of a few hours isn't any worse then driving while tired, on the phone, or singing along with Lady Gaga on the radio. When I go out I drink as much as I want and drive home without any problems. If you're a good driver its not that big of a deal.

Yeah right, this is the same logic my neighbor used when he ran me off the road because he was too fucking drunk to drive and couldn't keep in one lane and I wanted to avoid a head on collision as he was picking up speed and getting worse at control.

The area around me has a high amount of alcohol related fatalities, a semi recent incident 5 people from a family got killed.
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=5865852

I hope that if as a result of drinking as much as person wants because there are a good driver it only results in them being killed in an accident and not other people.

[blas87]

It's probably not the most responsible thing, as DD I shouldn't drink ANY alcohol at all, and I realize that.

There are self-checkers at certain bars to check your BAC. I'm not sure how accurate they are, but I utilize them. They cost a dollar, and you grab a straw and blow when the machine says go and stop when it says stop, and it calculates your levels.

When I say I only have one or two, I mean it. I do not let ANYONE bully me into drinking more than I know I can handle, nor do I ever give in to temptation and say "f it" and drink more, unless I plan on getting a cab and ditching my car, but since I hate having to go get it the next day, I just swallow hard, deal with everyone's bullshit, and keep to my comfort levels.

But that is where the "bitch" and "square" comes from. Idiot drunk friends trying to get me to drink more and not care and just let loose. Sometimes they bully and tease or bug me so much I snap and scream at them "I'm NOT FUCKING DRINKING ANYMORE, OK?!" and they get all insulted over it. Then get that booze out of my face, I am fine with the drink I have had for the past hour.

But really, who the hell says "You're a square!" anymore?!

[crazylegs]

But that is where the "bitch" and "square" comes from. Idiot drunk friends trying to get me to drink more and not care and just let loose. Sometimes they bully and tease or bug me so much I snap and scream at them "I'm NOT FUCKING DRINKING ANYMORE, OK?!"

Personally that would be where I walk out and drive home. I'm putting myself out for them, and if they're not going to be polite about it then they can make their own way home.

[blas87]

Trust me, I am more than tempted to do so most nights.

I have already made my decision very clear with them that from now on, they are getting their own way and I'm taking a cab or getting my own ride until they learn some respect.

But then again, I can't really afford to go out that much anyway.

I told my bf we can still stop by a bar after the movies or dinner and have one or two if it's just us, but if there's a group, we are making other arrangements, because he cannot seem to respect me or keep his word when there's a group.