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View Full Version : I hate your family.


BuggedMei
04-06-2010, 04:51 PM
Wow.. this is getting long, pardon, I needed to vent badly.

I grew up in a huge italian family. Every holiday had at least 30 people crammed into my grandma's house for a very long time. Now grandma lives with my parents, and I with them. Were a very connected family, we all tend to know whats basically going on with one another.

About two years back, I meet my boyfriend through a mutual friend. Hes the sweetest thing ever, and we've been going out for about, well, two years now. We live about four hours apart from one another but frequent visits and meeting-in-the-middles, along with an MMO we're addicted to makes everything just peachy. I live in a more... populated/city area, while hes out in farmville with cows for neighbors. We both live with our parents (I'm 21 now and hes 23, oh so poor are we. ._.)

At first, he would only come down to see me. I was out of work (and depressed) so I loved every minute of it. With some temporary work coming my way, and an upcoming RP I was invited to by above mutual friend, boyfriend said I should come stay at his place. I told him I was kind of nervous meeting his parents (we'd been together about 6-7 months now). He said I probably won't even see them...and he was right. I heard footsteps around the house but nobody ever came to say hello. I shrugged it off, oh well. When I'm about to fall asleep, he gets up and sleeps on the couch. In the morning he tells me his parents told him to. Ok, whatever, I was just sad at the lack of snuggly for sleeping.

Down the line, around the year mark, I had spring break and asked if he'd like to do anything. He offered a week at his place, though, his parents would be home. I reeled in my wardrobe for the week trip to make a good impression and was finally introduced to his parents. I smiled and went through the nice to meet you's and how are you's to get silence in return. Later that week, he gets an emergency call from work and has to leave me at his place for a few hours. I'm fine with it and crack down for some studying when his father comes into his room, no knocking or anything. He browses though my boyfriends closet for a while before noticing I was there. He asks two questions about what I'm doing, and vanishes. Bf comes home and offers to make us some food to eat for dinner. While in the kitchen, his mother asks him if hes making food for me, then wonders away.

The rest of the week, I get.. "glares" from the two of them, and one sibling dubs me "that creepy chick". I'd been nothing but sweet and nice to everyone, trying to make conversations or just be pleasant. I went home kind of confused. My boyfriend tells me "they are just like that." ._. kaayyy.

Since then, I've gotten nothing but rude remarks and bad attitudes from the whole family. Whenever I am over, nobody says hello or even offers me lunch/dinner if I'm alone because my boyfriend gets an emergency call or has to work. I feel really bad just browsing through their kitchen and even when I go to find someone to see if I can grab something to eat they are strangely absent. Once, his father was nagging my boyfriend about not going to church with me in the room. He stares at me and asks "Does she go to church?" to which I answer myself. (No)

My boyfriend isn't without his flaws but his parent's don't help his situation. His father will constantly call him stupid or a failure. He holds a part-time job as he looks for a better one and his parents demand his entire paycheck for rent. If he goes on a trip with me, his parents want to know "why he had to go hang out with her". If I'm around, it doesn't stop his fathers abusive comments, and he makes it like I'm the badguy. "Your so stupid, why can't you be like her!"

Its gotten to the point where, if I visit anymore, I won't leave his room unless he is home or the family is out to get a drink or visit the bathroom. I've asked my boyfriend hundreds of times if I did something wrong and finally I got to the point where I told him. Someone had asked us, if we were to get married what kind of wedding we'd have. After we answered, I looked to him and told him outright.. "If we get married, I'm not inviting your family."

In short, I hate your family and I hate the way they treat me... and I'm not ashamed to say it!

Teysa
04-06-2010, 10:07 PM
While I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to invite his family to your as of now hypothetical wedding, at the same time you don't want to cause a rift between them. You also want to show that you're the bigger person. In the meantime, might I suggest staying at a hotel when you visit or sticking to meeting in the middle for now? At the very least you might actually get a decent meal that way.

Plaidman
04-06-2010, 10:18 PM
o_O Get some answers. Seriously. They have no reason to treat you like that. Boyfriend needs to stand up. (Yeah, Plaidman suggesting that!). He needs to demand, not ask, demand why the lack of respect to you.


Seriously. Ya gotta find out. Or I'll go insane.

Won't someone PLEaase think of PLAIDMAN sanity!?

Talon
04-07-2010, 12:41 AM
oBoyfriend needs to stand up. (Yeah, Plaidman suggesting that!). He needs to demand, not ask, demand why the lack of respect to you.

Bf's family doesn't seem to have much respect for him either. Maybe mutual disrespect is their idea of being welcomed into the family? :p

lordlundar
04-07-2010, 05:54 AM
Won't someone PLEaase think of PLAIDMAN sanity!?

Wait a minute. Back up here.

At what point have you ever BEEN sane?:D

Plaidman
04-07-2010, 05:56 AM
Wait a minute. Back up here.

At what point have you ever BEEN sane?:D

Shhh. The OP doesn't need to know that I've been insane for a very long time, and keep losing my sanity over the stupidity and hatred of my life.

Wingates_Hellsing
04-07-2010, 10:52 AM
Shhh. The OP doesn't need to know that I've been insane for a very long time, and keep losing my sanity over the stupidity and hatred of my life.

Mr. Plaidman, we've discovered from this most recent lab work that you're dangerously close to reaching negative Sanity Index Score or SIS. When this happens, people tend to decide that it's best to take some of these motherfuckers with them into the cold embrace of oblivion, but with proper application of therapy you may have the option of making their lives and equally hellish existence to yours for a maximum duration... are you interested? [/sarcasm]

Pagan
04-07-2010, 04:36 PM
While I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to invite his family to your as of now hypothetical wedding, at the same time you don't want to cause a rift between them.

Sounds like there already is one.

Fryk
04-07-2010, 08:18 PM
Sarcasm NOTHING, Sit Integra! That sounds like a perfect day outing to me!

Plaidman
04-08-2010, 01:08 AM
Mr. Plaidman, we've discovered from this most recent lab work that you're dangerously close to reaching negative Sanity Index Score or SIS. When this happens, people tend to decide that it's best to take some of these motherfuckers with them into the cold embrace of oblivion, but with proper application of therapy you may have the option of making their lives and equally hellish existence to yours for a maximum duration... are you interested? [/sarcasm]

Heh Heh. Why do you think I'm going into pharmacy... I'll learn how to make all kinds of medicene.

Evil medicene.... Joker Style!


HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AH !

RavenStarr
04-08-2010, 01:12 AM
What did the BF say when you told him that if you married him, you weren't inviting his family?

As for whether or not to invite the out *ahem* I mean the future inlaws to the wedding? I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand if you refuse to invite them, you just give them more ammo. For example they could go around telling anyone who will listen, that you are trying to alienate thier son from his family. Not saying that you would, but people are very vindictive.

OTOH, if you do invite them they could possibly cause trouble, and end up ruining your wedding. I'm not saying they would, but I never put anything past anyone these days.

Fryk
04-08-2010, 03:38 AM
And if they tell everyone that, then what? I don't see how that would effect much, as long as the BF is on board.

RavenStarr
04-08-2010, 01:19 PM
And if they tell everyone that, then what? I don't see how that would effect much, as long as the BF is on board.

I have to respectfully disagree with you. The person that would be effected by this would be the OP. Spreading lies hurts people's feelings and makes them cry. Words can hurt.

If the BF is defending his family by saying they are "just like that" then he is not on board IMHO.

Fryk
04-08-2010, 01:47 PM
Spreading lies only hurts if the people you care about believe the lies.

If the BF is defending his family by saying they are "just like that" then he is not on board IMHO.

I agree with that part. And if he isn't on board, then it won't stop. And if it won't stop, then is the whole thing worth it.

BuggedMei
04-08-2010, 03:49 PM
Sounds like there already is one.

I'm not sure if its a rift or a freaking ocean anymore. I've tried everything to be as sweet as I can to them. Once, BF was in my area looking at a school's open house, with his father for some unknown reason. I offered them both dinner at my house if they wanted to stop. He dropped BF off and went home, leaving him at my place stranded. I've stopped trying to reach across the gap.

What did the BF say when you told him that if you married him, you weren't inviting his family?

As for whether or not to invite the out *ahem* I mean the future inlaws to the wedding? I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand if you refuse to invite them, you just give them more ammo. For example they could go around telling anyone who will listen, that you are trying to alienate thier son from his family. Not saying that you would, but people are very vindictive.

OTOH, if you do invite them they could possibly cause trouble, and end up ruining your wedding. I'm not saying they would, but I never put anything past anyone these days.

He said he didn't care either way. He 200% despises his father and 2/4 siblings.

More and more I'm beginning to think his parents hate me. He lives in the middle of nowhere, the train station is a good distance away and there is a fee to park there per night. He asks his mother if he can drive him down to the train and pick him up when he comes home so he can come down to see me and not have to pay the car fee since it was a tad out of budget. His mother responded with "i don't think you need to go".

._. My family (who adores BF) and invited him to Easter because his family was going to Florida without him. Instead, he stayed home alone.

I could go on for hours about his retard father. BF had some learning disabilities in school, ok, lets help the kid out? No. His parents never got him help or even lifted a finger to help him out. Now his father goes around calling him stupid and a failure.

I hate those people so much...

RavenStarr
04-08-2010, 04:57 PM
Then your BF needs to cut all ties with his toxic family. What his "father" is doing to him is emotional abuse.

Fryk
04-09-2010, 01:54 AM
"I don't think you need to go"? Who the flippity fuck cares if you think he needs to go or not??

I agree... cut ties.

HYHYBT
04-09-2010, 01:50 PM
Sounds like BF's family doesn't even like *him*, much less you. You don't plan on living near them after the wedding, do you?

Fryk
04-10-2010, 05:06 AM
If I could choose, I wouldn't even want to live on the same PLANET as them. Ahhhh, lovely Pluto, so remote, so peaceful...

BuggedMei
04-10-2010, 08:00 AM
Sounds like BF's family doesn't even like *him*, much less you. You don't plan on living near them after the wedding, do you?

If there was to be a wedding, I would make sure to live as far as humanly possible away from them.

If I could choose, I wouldn't even want to live on the same PLANET as them. Ahhhh, lovely Pluto, so remote, so peaceful...

Is that humanly possible??


I just invited the boyfriend to go to the Steampunk World's Fair... I can't wait to see his family's reaction to this one. I'm giving up on being nice. I'm wearing my normal clothes and I feel like just telling them off for once. I have been nothing but nice to you people, and what do I get in return? Nothing.

I even think my boyfriend is showing signs of depression now (He's done nothing but slept and gone to work this week. He will barely eat anything or play a game with me..) ._. Great. I have no doubt in my mind they are just killing the poor boy.

Plaidman
04-10-2010, 08:03 AM
I even think my boyfriend is showing signs of depression now (He's done nothing but slept and gone to work this week. He will barely eat anything or play a game with me..) ._. Great. I have no doubt in my mind they are just killing the poor boy.

Dress like an Elf during bedtime. ;). That otta cheer him up somewhat.


And, if you don't mind extreme advice, be loud. Be very very very very loud.

HYHYBT
04-11-2010, 12:17 AM
If there was to be a wedding...Oops! Sorry about that; don't know where that idea came from unless maybe it was something else I'd been reading before this.

MaggieTheCat
04-11-2010, 06:46 AM
I sort of skimmed most of the responses here, so apologies if this has already been covered...but, is there any way you two could get an apartment and move in together? Or even have him move in with your parents, until that's possible? He really needs to get out from under his family, they seem to be suffocating him. The part-time job, the signs of depression...he could probably do better on every angle if he could put some distance between himself and them.

BuggedMei
04-11-2010, 07:45 PM
Oops! Sorry about that; don't know where that idea came from unless maybe it was something else I'd been reading before this.

Hhahahha, its ok. The question was about if we had a wedding and what it would be like (pirate wedding, ftw.) when I made the comment that I wouldn't invite his parents.


I sort of skimmed most of the responses here, so apologies if this has already been covered...but, is there any way you two could get an apartment and move in together? Or even have him move in with your parents, until that's possible? He really needs to get out from under his family, they seem to be suffocating him. The part-time job, the signs of depression...he could probably do better on every angle if he could put some distance between himself and them.

He said he was going to apply to college down by me and mom has already OKed him moving in under the condition that he gets a job. The only problem is I can't tell if he really applied anymore because all he talks about is how stupid he is lately.

He slept for about sixteen hours yesterday ._. I called his phone a hundred thousand times to try and wake him up but nothing... he got up, talked to me for an hour, and went back to bed...

Fryk
04-11-2010, 08:41 PM
It should be possible....
I should just need a space heater and an oxygen mask, right?

That should work, right?

RavenStarr
04-11-2010, 09:12 PM
The only problem is I can't tell if he really applied anymore because all he talks about is how stupid he is lately.

.

When you get called stupid and other names so many times for so long.............you start to actually believe you really are.:(

Really BuggedMei get him away from his toxic family ASAP.