The black sheep

[DrFaroohk]

I'm usually the black sheep of any group - I'm the most obnoxious guy on any given message board, I'm the slowest guy at work, I'm the most emotionally distant of my family, and I'm the most uninvolved parent of the all the kids at the school....well of the parents that are actually around.

So I LOVE it when someone who's a bigger failure than me shows up. It takes a lot of the negative attention away from me, and it also tends to make people appreciate me more. "Hey, DrFaroohk is only a +10 Douchebag, but this other guy is a +100 Douchebag. DrFaroohk is actually pretty cool!"

I love failures.

[telecom_goddess]

hmmmm not sure WHAT to say to that.....

[Fryk]

I am offended by that Dr Faroohk! I have worked [I]too damned hard[I] on my obnoxiousness for you to just walk right on in and usurp my coveted title! It's ON now, you hear? OONNNNN, I say!

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Dr Faroohk, you done just got served! You gonna dance back or what?

[Fryk]

*Three snaps in 'Z' formation*

[DrFaroohk]

Nay, for no one is quite as sick and evil as I am. I AM the most obnoxious. I fanatasize about how great it'd be if I was in some accident and had no memory of my life or family at all. It'd be a brand new fresh start and I don't think anyone could fault me for just being like 'fuck off, i dont know you anymore'.

[Fryk]

See that might be sick, but it's not evil or obnoxious.

Me, I like to plan for arguments that might happen, try to factor in evrything that the other person could say, and have a comeback ready. You know, in CASE we fight.

[DrFaroohk]

lol I do the same thing, except it backfires a lot, because they never say what I was expecting. Lots of times I'll even present my whole argument right at once, to save time, and to avoid interuptions, which just makes me look defensive and obnoxious.

[telecom_goddess]

lol I do the same thing, except it backfires a lot, because they never say what I was expecting. Lots of times I'll even present my whole argument right at once, to save time, and to avoid interuptions, which just makes me look defensive and obnoxious.

lol...but what about rebuttals that might happen? Do you have answers for those out there already:D

[Fryk]

Not out there.... in mah brain.

[Fashion Lad!]

So I LOVE it when someone who's a bigger failure than me shows up. It takes a lot of the negative attention away from me, and it also tends to make people appreciate me more. "Hey, DrFaroohk is only a +10 Douchebag, but this other guy is a +100 Douchebag. DrFaroohk is actually pretty cool!"

I love failures.

I hate trying to succeed just because someone fails. I generally like succeeding on my own merits.

[DrFaroohk]

I understand completely, however being a natural failure in life has forced me to take whatever edge I can get.

[Fryk]

Meh, success is still success, no matter what spawned it.

[Fashion Lad!]

Meh, success is still success, no matter what spawned it.

I still don't believe you can succeed by someone just outright failing. Success comes after an attempt. Take that other person out of the mix and you still fail. Put that person back in it you really didn't succeed, they just failed.

[Fryk]

Sometimes, just being the Last One Standing can be an attempt, though.

[Plaidman]

Wow. So you don't want to be a parent or with your family? Just leave then. Nothing stopping you. Seeing as you want to get amensia so you don't have to deal with them, just do them a favor and leave them now.

Same with work. Yeah. Life sucks. Sometimes people have so many disavantages, that you get little to no chances to get what you want. Just means you have to work all that much harder. Doesn't make it any easier. There are ways to get around it.

But, it just worst to go through the emontions. Seems you only care for yourself. Don't bother pretending to care when you don't. That doesn't make you a failure or a black sheep. It just makes you a selfish asshole. A title you no doubt love. Something that going to rub off your kids, growing up knowing they have a parent that would drop them off at a drop of hat. Why did you even bother having them? Why bother pretending to care when you just flat out dont?

People like you make me sick.

[DrFaroohk]

Well if I only cared about myself I would have left a long time ago. Proof that I care about more than that is that I'm still here. I might not enjoy spending lots of time with my kids but I do anyway. So before you go judging me think about how many guys out there took off at the first mention of the word pregnant.

[Plaidman]

I doubt you do it out of love, more like just laziness. Otherwise you wouldn't be bitching every other thread about what a crap life you have, or you just wish you could wake up with amensia and never have to deal with them again.

[DrFaroohk]

Or maybe I bitch because that's the only way I can stay sane. Because that's what I need to do to get by.

Hey, look there's an alcoholic guy! He gets drunk and beats his kids because he can't stand them. Hey, look at the sex offender! Guess what HE does to his kids when he's pissed! Nah, fuck them. We have DrFaroohk here who....HE POSTS ANGRY THINGS ON FRATCHING! THE EVIL BASTARD! OMG HE'S THE WORST PARENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DERP DERP DERP!!!!!!

[the_std]

Hey, look there's an alcoholic guy! He gets drunk and beats his kids because he can't stand them. Hey, look at the sex offender! Guess what HE does to his kids when he's pissed! Nah, fuck them. We have DrFaroohk here who....HE POSTS ANGRY THINGS ON FRATCHING! THE EVIL BASTARD! OMG HE'S THE WORST PARENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DERP DERP DERP!!!!!!

DrFarhook, no one said anything of the sort. Blowing things out of proportion weakens your argument and your position in the debate.

The things you post on this forum make you seem less devoted than you probably are. I'm not sure if you realize the impact your multiple negative posts have on your image here. When all we see from you is that you avoid spending time with your children, or that you are not happy with your family situation, that leads to this perception of you.

Please consider that before you think anyone on this forum is targeting you.

[Plaidman]

What he said. There are worst parents out there. There are scum parents. But you basically state you hate your life. You wish you didn't have them. You are annoyed and angry that your kids want to stay up to see you, where you think they should just be asleep.

It makes you look like you despise being a parent. Sometimes best thing those kind of parents do, despite the scarring it can do? Just go. Leave them. Let them be raised by love. It did with me. I loved my dad, even though he isn't my real father.

And if you have to post angry things about family to keep sane? Then another way to be sane, is again, leave. They drive you nuts. Your health could be at risk. Even though that was a risk you take when you fall in love, and start a family. Or maybe it was just a fun activty to you. Maybe you just didn't know better. I don't know. Couples are all so fucking strange.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Just because some of the things about being around Dr. F's family annoys dr. F, that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy their company in general, just that those things annoy him. People annoy other people on occasion, sometimes that makes one or the other of them upset or angry. It's normal, and in no way invalidates any affection that may be present.

The logical fallacy here is that some people are saying that if Dr F doesn't like it when his family members do X he obviously 100% hates them and wants to slaughter them in their sleep. You're blowing it out of proportion.

[Plaidman]

So far all I've read from him was

* Kids stay up to visit me. This takes away from me time. They need to be to bed before I get there.

* I do not get along with stepson. I ignore him. Maybe if he becomes cool, I will talk to him. Until then, no.

* When step son whines, I mock him.

* From his wording, it seemed his wife delebrity forgot her birth control, now he is forced to be with a daughter he wasn't ready for.

* How dare his family love cats. He didn't want any. Now he stuck with 3.

* He wanted a monkey. Wife warned him the bad stuff monkies do. He got monkey anyway. was shocked that monkey did said bad stuff, and how dare the wife not help him clean up after monkey. (After all, taking care of a baby is far less important then his monkey he regretted getting

* He openely admits he smokes pot. He doesn't do it around his kids thankfully, only after they gone to bed. One day though he be so stoned at his mind he won't realize his kids are having some kind of crisis. (Rare, but they do happen).

* He can't take responsibilty for his job actions. He just assumes that its ok to do whatever. He'll likely get fired, and once again shruggle with bills. Once you have kids, you need to take them in priority, which means swallowing your pride so you can support them.

* He wants just me time. Only me time. He can't stand spending time with family.

* He has stated numerous times that he wishes he woke up with amensa, so he can openly say fuck you to his family, and never deal with them again.

And these are just from some threads he started here. Not any of his other replies he has done regarding his family, nor any of the stuff he stated at CS. These to me, are not the actions of a man who loves his family. This is the actions of overgrown teenager who regrets ever daring to deal with people. He hates people. Yet, he can't stay away from getting girlfriends and wives. He has an exwife who is evil and makes him pay money rather then him even, like trying to see if he can stop paying, so its not like he made one mistake. If did want that, then fine. Go.

Once you are a family man, you have to take care of your family. That means growing up. Putting them before your needs. No longer going 72 hours on a new video game, but feeding and washing, and watching, playing, teaching your kids. Not ignoring them. That's going scar them alot more as an uncaring person.

[DrFaroohk]

Oh boy this will be fun....

* Kids stay up to visit me. This takes away from me time. They need to be to bed before I get there.

They don't stay up to visit me. They stay up because no one has put them to bed yet and they like to stay up late. It's nothing to do with me.

* I do not get along with stepson. I ignore him. Maybe if he becomes cool, I will talk to him. Until then, no.

Well, I have two choices here - spend time with him, until I have to discipline him and then he'll tell people I beat him half to death and I'll wind up in prison, where I won't be able to see him or speak to him, or I can just ignore him, and not see him or speak to him. Which sounds better to you? Yeah, I thought so.

* When step son whines, I mock him.

Hey, it works. I do not tolerate whininess. It's not a good way for a child to behave. Mocking him just shuts him down and lets him know he's not getting anywhere with it. And guess what? The whining has decreased.

* He wanted a monkey. Wife warned him the bad stuff monkies do. He got monkey anyway. was shocked that monkey did said bad stuff, and how dare the wife not help him clean up after monkey. (After all, taking care of a baby is far less important then his monkey he regretted getting

Ah, this one. It sounds like you took it out of context. I never wanted a monkey nor do I even have a monkey or know where to get one.

The analogy here was that my wife was the one who wanted kids and yet at the time I wrote that she was getting extremely frustrated with them and dumping a lot of the extra stuff on me, which was annoying. Fuck yeah kids are annoying and hard to deal with - that's why my vote was to not have one. I'm ignored, she has the kid anyway, and now she doesn't want to deal with it? That's like a slap in the face to me.

* He openely admits he smokes pot. He doesn't do it around his kids thankfully, only after they gone to bed. One day though he be so stoned at his mind he won't realize his kids are having some kind of crisis. (Rare, but they do happen).

You obviously have never smoked pot or you'd realize that doesn't happen. Yeah, any case you've heard of where it does happen? the parents are full of shit. Pot is them covering up the heroin they were actually doing. There was no pot, or it was not a factor in the incident at all.

There's nothing wrong with pot. Just because someone wrote down on a piece of paper that it's wrong doesn't make it so. If you were to take a good honest look at pot vs. other drugs you'd see how nearly harmless it is.

* He can't take responsibilty for his job actions. He just assumes that its ok to do whatever. He'll likely get fired, and once again shruggle with bills. Once you have kids, you need to take them in priority, which means swallowing your pride so you can support them.

I can take responsibility just fine. I even said so in my post. I assume you're talking about my writeup thread. If the company had fulfilled their half of the obligation I'd have no problem accepting the writeup. But they didn't, and several of the days were ambiguous so yeah I'm gonna bitch. I think it would be very DISHONEST of me to not challenge the writeup.

Everything else written seems like you're just picking and choosing whatever you can find to make your point. Yeah, I'm a bastard.

Guess what? Most guys in my situation? Would have left a long time ago. I'm still here. I still go to work every day. I support my damn family. One of the things keeping me going to work at the moment is I want to make sure my stepson has a nice birthday. I want my daughter to be able to have clothes that fit. And a house that's safe and warm. And a car that is safe to ride in.

But none of that matters does it? Words speak louder than actions when it comes to me.

Or more likely than not people will cut and paste words out of this that say "I hate my family" while ignoring everything else, because that's just easier isn't it? Much easier to argue when you make up bullshit rather than read the facts that have been clearly presented.

[Plaidman]

Pot may be harmless, but I've still worked plenty of times and dealt with people that smoke with it, that it still does make people /addicted/. Your thoughts still change. Your thoughts go from "Hey, there a special on TV I should watch with family" to, "Goddamn it, why aren't they alseep. I need to get high to relax".

Fine. Some people drink to relax. Others, drugs. Some, beat a punching bag. Everyone has ways to relax.

I have smoked pot. Twice now, once when I was a kid and another last year. Not alot compared to most, and I have such a huge body resistance to most chemicals I doubt I was high at all. Then again, I don't need to drink to have fun, nor do drugs to relax even if they did work. I had drank to get away, but if anything, it made me more pissed off and more depressed as the booze just made me think more on why I was depressed. Only real difference between us. Despite the stresses in our lives, I don't need to smoke weed to relax.

Do your words speak louder then actions? Meh.

You do take care of your family. You haven't left at all. Fine. I think its more out of laziness then anything else.

Yeah, and as for the monkey, had one not read it through, it is just you bitching about the monkey. You never stated in opening post that there was no monkey. Sorry for that confusion.

[DrFaroohk]

Laziness has nothing to do with it. I believe the phrase is "man up to yo bidnes" which is exactly what I'm doing. I didn't want a hard job with long hours but I go. I didn't want a kid but here I am taking care of her. I must be a terrible person!

[Plaidman]

No. There are worst fathers then you. By far are there worst fathers then you. But I've yet to see anything praising your family. You sometimes say it in hindsight, but I doubt you mean it. would you take bullets for them? If someone offers you lifetime supply of best weed, as much as you want, with free rent and place at a place with bunch of best video games in the world with no interruptions, and all you had to do was leave family? (They add that pill so you forget them) you would take it. Not even in a heartbeat, you take it.

[Ree]

I didn't want a kid but here I am taking care of her. I must be a terrible person!
Yeah, you're a freakin saint.
Such a martyr. :rolleyes:

[Hobbs]

Doc, I'm gonna go out and buy you a wooden cross and nails. Then the next time you feel unappreciated, you can climb up and nail yourself to it.

[DrFaroohk]

No. There are worst fathers then you. By far are there worst fathers then you. But I've yet to see anything praising your family. You sometimes say it in hindsight, but I doubt you mean it. would you take bullets for them? If someone offers you lifetime supply of best weed, as much as you want, with free rent and place at a place with bunch of best video games in the world with no interruptions, and all you had to do was leave family? (They add that pill so you forget them) you would take it. Not even in a heartbeat, you take it.

Wrong.

Look at it this way: When our house caught fire, do you know what my first thought was? Not my computer. Not my video games. Not my pot. Not my cigarettes. Not my guitar. Not my multitracker. My first thought was I need to get the kid out of the house right now.

Fair enough? Want to make up some bullshit about that too? Let me grab my boots.

[AdminAssistant]

I have zero respect for people who willingly engage in illegal activities in the same house as their children. It doesn't matter how much you think it should be legal, it isn't. If you can't give up your habit for the safety and welfare of your kids, then that's selfish. Doesn't matter if you wanted them or not.

Quite frankly, I often wish that my dad would have really left all those times he threatened to. That would have been better than growing up with a bitter alcoholic with a victim/martyr complex.

[Plaidman]

Quite frankly, I often wish that my dad would have really left all those times he threatened to. That would have been better than growing up with a bitter alcoholic with a victim/martyr complex.

Which is what I'm afraid is going to happen in the above case.

[Hobbs]

Wrong.

Look at it this way: When our house caught fire, do you know what my first thought was? Not my computer. Not my video games. Not my pot. Not my cigarettes. Not my guitar. Not my multitracker. My first thought was I need to get the kid out of the house right now.

Fair enough? Want to make up some bullshit about that too? Let me grab my boots.
That's commendable. But there are times, even in battle, when someone will do something heroic for less-than admirable reasons. I'm with Plaid...you'd probably take the blue pill.

[Ree]

They way I see it, if a man isn't all that into his kids, then he shouldn't be forced into it.

That's when he should get the fuck out of their lives so they can at least live without the knowledge that their main male role model is only going through the motions because it's expected of him, and they have a chance to end up with someone who loves them unconditionally, and not just when they act like they deserve it, or it makes daddy feel good to be nice to them.

Big freakin deal that you would rescue them from a fire before your other diversions that you actually seem to value above them. That's not a sign of a good father...that's just being a decent human being.

[DrFaroohk]

lol.....so no matter what I do, I just can't seem to win can I? Everyone will find fault with whatever I do. I leave, I'm a bastard. I stay, I'm a bastard. I save their fucking lives and I'm a bastard.

You people are just fucking amazing. I've never met a more obtuse bunch in my life. It doesn't matter what I say here anyway. People are determined to read what I say and twist it to whatever they wish it to mean. I guess that's what the world has been reduced to.

Aye.

[Hobbs]

Sadly, the world has been reduced to people like you, who only see how bad things affect themselves. Ree is right on the money, you're only going through the motions.

[Plaidman]

I wouldn't see you as a bastard for leaving your kids. Some might say so, and some may think. But if you don't love them, or care for them, and only go through the motions of pretending to care, then yeah. They do deserve someone who can love them. Who can care for them. Someone who love them for them being them. They are their own person. They are their own uniqueness. They may not have the same intrests as you, but you should at least try to understand them on that, rather then just ignoring them or hating them becasue you don't give a shit.

My mom doesnn't have an imangation. She doesn't understand why I love fantasy so much. But rather then just ignore it, she push me towards it as a strength. She bought me fantasy books. Fantasy art. It may never been her intrest, but she still loved me.

[Ree]

lol.....so no matter what I do, I just can't seem to win can I? Everyone will find fault with whatever I do. I leave, I'm a bastard. I stay, I'm a bastard. I save their fucking lives and I'm a bastard.LOL...this is a debate site.

You're going to get 100 different opinions and points of view from 100 different people.

Of course they're not all going to be exactly the same thoughts as yours, and not everyone is going to agree.

Of course there is going to be contradiction.

If you don't like the heat, don't turn on the stove.

My personal opinion was that by staying and only going through the motions, you do them more harm.
Kids aren't idiots. They sense resentment and they know when they aren't wanted.

You aren't a bastard for saving them from a fire instead of your pot or computer, or whatever, but you aren't a damned Father of the Year winner, either.
That's all we're saying, I think.

[blas87]

Personally, no matter how bad it may seem to walk away, I'd say, I'd rather be raised by a dad (or other male) who loved me and actually wanted to spend time with me and raise me, than some guy who never wanted me to begin with and only stayed because he felt it was the right thing to do.

[gremcint]

Seriously, everyone here is saying he's a bad guy for accepting the consequences of his actions?

He had a kid, he could have walked away and washed his hands of the situation but he chose to stay, he chose to put food on the table, he is putting the kid first just by being there. Heck he even helps take care of someone else's kid. He could have walked away but instead he stayed and is doing his part. The kid may realize he isn't happy but she'll do it with clothes on her back and food in her stomach.

How many times on this board have we commented on parents who don't support their children and called them deadbeats and now everyone is telling Dr that he should be a deadbeat?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Excellently said gremcint. This really is a perverse catch 22.

Fathers who skip out on their responsibilities are deadbeats, Dr F and fathers who rise to the occasion and handle their responsibilities are deadbeats because they aren't entirely hugox happy about every single aspect of it.

I guess that eliminates every family except the Beavers, hell, maybe even them.

[Plaidman]

Because kids deserve LOVE. Something he has none of for them. Deadbeat fathers may be scum, but only those who don't give child support. We can overcome that. (Despite me never having contact with my dad until recently, he still paid child support).

The difference is that Dr doesn't care about his kids. He just going through the emontions of pretending to be a dad. If stepson becomes intrested in something Dr doesn't, he won't even try to be involved. He already doesn't do it now, what going to happen when he is a preteen? Teenager? Completly ignore them? That's far worst. A male role model in the home that just puts food in the home. That's it.

If he left, there is a far better chance that someone could come along and, you know, love the kids?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

First: that's IF someone comes along.
Second: Dr. F has explained quite rationally and specifically that he does have genuine affection for said children. His responsibility is one of the reasons he stayed, not the only one.
Third: In several of the instances Dr F's hand has clearly been forced by the circumstances.

He's explained all of this quite cogently, yet several people simply continue groaning on about how horrible he is while in no way discussing his explanations or even really acknowledging them.

[Hobbs]

Seriously, everyone here is saying he's a bad guy for accepting the consequences of his actions?

He had a kid, he could have walked away and washed his hands of the situation but he chose to stay, he chose to put food on the table, he is putting the kid first just by being there. Heck he even helps take care of someone else's kid. He could have walked away but instead he stayed and is doing his part. The kid may realize he isn't happy but she'll do it with clothes on her back and food in her stomach.

How many times on this board have we commented on parents who don't support their children and called them deadbeats and now everyone is telling Dr that he should be a deadbeat?
We're not saying he's a bad guy for accepting that. We're saying he's a bad guy for treating his kids like a burden rather than a gift. Yeah, parenthood isn't a joy all the time, but by the looks of it, he'd rather not have to deal with it at all. Staying around b/c it's his "duty" won't be good for anyone in the long run. He'll come to resent the children (if he doesn't already) and the children will, in turn, think they're nothing but a burden and a hassle to them. It's not just material commodities children need; they need nurture as well as nutrition.

[Plaidman]

Really? I seen several posts where he has pretty much stated he hates his stepson. Never seen a love or even a like. Just he hates it. He loves his daughter sure, when he doesn't have to take care of her. He complains about his wife, but has stated he loves her, sometimes. (Normally this is all typed in hindsight like he has to force himself).

I can admire the fact that he would save the kids over the pot. But he isn't a father of the year. He doesn't want the kids. Even has stated he'd love to say fuck you to them and leave.

And yeah, his hands been forced into it. Well, thats what happens when you have sex. Even protected sex can have kids. He knew the risks, and still decided to go through with it. He belived his wife when she said she took it, and hey, sometimes woman do forget. Yes, sex does feel different from condoms and such. But that would still help. Its not 100 percent. But alot.

He a good father in the fact that he pays bills. He has no intrest in spending time with them. No intrest in what they have intrests in. All he wants is them out of his hair the whole time. That is what I have beef with. I hate people, who have families and loved ones, that do nothing for them emontionally.

Your so damn lucky to have kids. So damn lucky to have a wife or husband that loves you. Yet, you don't want anything to do with it? You have any idea how many people in this world that would fucking MURDER to have that? But hey, its not good for him. It takes away his time to smoke weed and play games. Really sucky.

[Ree]

I don't think he's a bad person at all.

I have read his explanations for everything and I understand.

What I see, though, is a guy who seems to feel he deserves some kind of medal for doing what he does, as if it's some magnificent thing.
It really isn't.

He seems to think, just because he sticks around and doesn't bail, even though he really isn't all that into his family, that makes him special because of the huge sacrifice it is for him.

Yeah, it's great that he sticks around and supports children who aren't his, and even supports the child who is his, but he didn't even want.

The problem I see is that he resents the hell out of every moment he spends with his family, and he resents the hell out of being forced to take a job to support them. It's quite obvious from all that he has posted on this board.
It's probably also quite obvious to his family.
We aren't there, so we don't know.

I do know that I have seen the effects on children who have come from homes where it was obvious that they were a burden and a necessary evil to be dealt with and tolerated.

I don't know Dr Fahrook, nor his family, so I can only hope that all the venting he does on this board is his way of coping and getting it out, and that in reality, his family doesn't realize all the nasty feelings he harbours for them.
I don't know, though:
I'm the most uninvolved parent of the all the kids at the schoolIf he's that uninvolved, how could the children not sense that they are an intrusion and inconvenience in his life?

Perhaps the reason people keep "groaning on" about it is because he started this whole thread almost as if to brag about the fact that he can act like an obnoxious jerk at times.

Nay, for no one is quite as sick and evil as I am. I AM the most obnoxious. I fanatasize about how great it'd be if I was in some accident and had no memory of my life or family at all. It'd be a brand new fresh start and I don't think anyone could fault me for just being like 'fuck off, i dont know you anymore'.

Why get pissy with people just because they seem to be agreeing with his own assessment of things?