Platitudes

[muses_nightmare]

I commented on a facebook friend's status (I'm not actually sure why he's still on my FB, he's not really a friend of mine, I really need to go through my friend's list).

It was:

"Saying you dont know how to do something or cant do something is just an easy way to hide your lack of responsibility and confidence"


This is something I don't agree with. While I don't think you should break people down, false praise means nothing. And Telling someone they can do anything if they try is an outright lie.

Then I had one of his friend's trying to tell me that you can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it.

He brought in a quote he read off of a bathroom wall, like it's some pearl of wisdom:

"Like I read off a bathroom wall. The joke is also in your hands. Now adays your allowed to try infinite amounts of times and there is no fail. So why can't you do anything"

Yeah, it actually says there is no fail. That quote itself is fail. Full of it in fact. I won't even comment on the spelling (well much).

You know, it's not even like I'm a negative person. I'm really not, I'm one to assume things will work out, but I will not hold on to the lie that if you can't do something it's because you're not trying hard enough. I'm sorry but the things they told you in school about how if you work hard and apply yourself and you can do anything you want aren't true.

[Hobbs]

"It is spiritless to think that you cannot attain to that which you have seen and heard the masters attain. The masters are men. You are also a man. If you think that you will be inferior in doing something, you will be on that road very soon."
-Yamamoto Tsunetomo

[muses_nightmare]

Yeah I knew someone would quote something or other. And these are the types of things that I'm talking about. They don't really mean anything when it comes down to it. Reality is reality and most people aren't able to do everything they want. It's a fact of life.

This whole strength of human will thing is grating on my nerves, not the people that are strong and whatnot, just the quotes people seem to come up with about it. Sorry but while I'd think it would be super neat to be an astronaut (or whatever) I'm not capable of it. There are some things I am good at and some things I am not. Everyone is not capable of achieving everything.

[Hobbs]

Yeh, but it's kinda being a jerk to squish someone's dreams if they want something, isn't it? I mean, what happened to telling kids to go for it, to be all they can be? Why is that so wrong? When I was five I wanted to be a pilot. Now look at me; in the Air Force going into Space and Missiles. I'm still gonna try out for pilot though, and won't stop until the Air Force tells me to.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt
Run in little circles, wave your arms and shout!"

Seriously though, it's gotten to the point where it's hard to remember that platitudes aren't the problem, it's the treatment of them. They're tools with which ideas or condensed, doesn't make them any more true or false than any other, it's just that people treat them that way. Watch me preach to the choir, shutting up now!

*shuts up*

[smileyeagle1021]

This whole strength of human will thing is grating on my nerves, not the people that are strong and whatnot, just the quotes people seem to come up with about it. Sorry but while I'd think it would be super neat to be an astronaut (or whatever) I'm not capable of it. There are some things I am good at and some things I am not. Everyone is not capable of achieving everything.

very good point. No matter how much I could want to become a member of special forces, no matter how hard I'd be willing to work to become special forces, I could never be a member of special forces because I'm not permitted in the military and never will be (I was on anti-depressents when I was younger which makes you permanently ineligible for military service).

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I think the core idea behind, if not the actual practical truth of the 'strength of the human will' ideology is that when pushed far enough, people are capable of getting out of/solving situations that they wouldn't normally be able to physically, mentally or emotionally achieve in their own way. Which is to say, if you're a sneaky fucker, you're not going to take on a group of bruisers and win so much as slip away and get help, for example.

The idea is that you can be capable of more than you think, which is true enough. It's just that too many people add 'anything' to it and fuck everything up.

[Plaidman]

When I was in 5th grade, I'd carry a Aseop's Fable book around in hopes of using one of those quotes and telling a story. I thought it be a intresting way to introduce myself and try to make a friend.


I got slammed into the wall and book tossed into a dirty unflushed toilet.

[Hobbs]

Yeah I knew someone would quote something or other. And these are the types of things that I'm talking about. They don't really mean anything when it comes down to it. Reality is reality and most people aren't able to do everything they want. It's a fact of life.

This whole strength of human will thing is grating on my nerves, not the people that are strong and whatnot, just the quotes people seem to come up with about it. Sorry but while I'd think it would be super neat to be an astronaut (or whatever) I'm not capable of it. There are some things I am good at and some things I am not. Everyone is not capable of achieving everything.
I don't get this. The man who wrote this lived. The people he knew who achieved great things lived. So how can their words be nothing?

[Rageaholic]

It reminds me of a teacher who would always tell me "There is no such word as can't". :rolleyes:

Sometimes I CANNOT do something. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Even if I could do it, there are probably other people who can do it better, so why ask me? I wish more people would accept this instead of insisting they know your strengths.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It reminds me of a teacher who would always tell me "There is no such word as can't". :rolleyes:

I had a teacher say that to me. So I showed him the entry of "can't" in the dictionary. I got told off for being a smartmouth. -.-

My facebook statuses are often quotes from movies or TV programmes that I like.

[jackfaire]

I don't get this. The man who wrote this lived. The people he knew who achieved great things lived. So how can their words be nothing?

Simple because the man who wrote that isn't you, me or anyone else. I have a friend 6'2 and big around think Ethan Suplee. He got hit by a car and damaged the car. He has some back pain but he walked away from it without any severe injuries.

He could go around telling people something like, "A still man makes a car pause" or something else that implies, "Hey if I did it you can do it" I guarantee you though that car would have killed or severely injured a smaller man.

It's like diets that "worked for me so of course it will work for you" which ignores so many numerous factors that come into play it's not even funny.

The platitudes to children are one thing that's great encourage dreams. The platitude to the person that has proven they cannot do something or would be downright stupid for them to try (some life or death situations) is just encouraging someone to keep failing.

I would rather someone came to me and said, "Hey your writing it's not that good and all the classes your taking aren't making it any better I just don't think writing is your thing"

Then I can see what everyone else sees and not grow bitter chasing down a dream that I could have put aside for one that I could attain. If you attain your dream awesome but people shouldn't encourage you to keep chasing a loss.

That's how gambling addictions start.

[blas87]

How come no one has mentioning the sheer fact that trying something never hurt?

There is can and can't, which are pretty black and white, but the fact that people will try stuff is pretty admirable, even if they fail or don't do as well as they hoped.

[jackfaire]

How come no one has mentioning the sheer fact that trying something never hurt?

Your right trying doesn't hurt but I personally have never heard a single platitude like that before I even try in the first place it is always after I have been trying and failed multiple times decide, okay I am done time to give up and move onto something else, that people come rushing in with, "You can do it" "Anything's possible" etc so that I go and try again wasting my time each time until I realize I am growing bitter about it.

Very few people only have one dream and one dream only for their lives. Many people have a few different things they would like to do and if rather than making them feel bad for not succeeding, "Cuz hey anyone can do it".

Or my personal example, "someday you will win her heart don't give up, they always fall for the ducky friend"

When it's time to move on because something is not working out for you it would be nice to have friends support you in doing so rather than telling you that since anyone can do it you must be some kind of loser for not trying for the 58th time.

[Rageaholic]

What Jack said. There comes a time when people need to accept something is not your strength and to stop beating a dead horse. There's a fine line between encourgement and nagging.

[blas87]

I suppose you guys are correct. I will try stuff, but if I'm not that great at it and it doesn't seem like something I want to persue, I stop.

[muses_nightmare]

See my point is not to be a jerk and tell people they can't do something, but I'm not going to reinforce the fact that if they aren't capable of something, and they know it that "they can do it!"

Quotes really don't mean much, aside from sounding good. If that's all that encourages you, you are bound to be disappointed when you find out they are ideals and not reality.

I think some people are getting my message confused, I'm not saying don't try, I'm saying try and sometimes you are going to fail. I'm against the whole idea that when someone fails at something, that they should be told to try over and over again even if they fail every time. Sure give it another shot, but after awhile one has to realize that some dreams just don't come true. It happens, and telling people it doesn't isn't helpful in the slightest.

See and the thing is, there are times when someone wants to do something, but they simply can't. There are several factors that get in the way. That's life. And sure people are capable of more than they think, but not all the time. Sometimes we just aren't able, we aren't strong enough, we aren't smart enough, these things do happen. And that's my point, I'm not going to go around telling people they're weak or stupid or what have you, but I'm not going to assume someone should be able to do something just because of some quote or the fact that someone else says they can.

[gremcint]

hard work never killed anyone.


yeah right tell that to John Henry.

[Dreamstalker]

I agree with you completely, muses_nightmare. It seems to me to be just an extension of the no-failing-grades idea that some schools have in place because "low grades damage a child's self-esteem" (guess what, I came home with F's...some undeserved, some deserved because I was slacking off bigtime and it only hit me when those grades came in).

What bothers me about most platitudes is the air of superiority that some people seem to get when spouting them. Add that to the fact that most are way overused...take a look at the "Glurge Gallery" on Snopes for examples.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I suppose you guys are correct. I will try stuff, but if I'm not that great at it and it doesn't seem like something I want to persue, I stop.

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

XD Is that a better quote than the one being discussed?

[Hobbs]

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

XD Is that a better quote than the one being discussed?
"Try not you will. Do, or do not; there is no try."

[Fryk]

To me, the problem with sayings like this is that it's like saying, "You tried something and didn't succeed? Well then. it must be because YOU DIDN'T TRY OR WANT IT BAD ENOUGH YOU LAZY PATHETIC KSADJFGKSGFKSJDGFKSJDGKFSJGCVISHVBSK,!!!!"

There is nothing wrong with trying but if you don't succeed it's not always because you didn't wish hard enough.

[RavenStarr]

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.:D

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Of all the 'if at firsts' out there, my personal favorite is: "If at first you don't succeed, excessive force is probably the answer."

In other news, people should really analyze the saying they use the same as any other sentence or phrase... oh, wait... they don't do that either.:rolleyes:

[jackfaire]

The other thing that gets me is that the platitudes are uttered by people who usually haven't even tried to do the thing they are assuring you everyone can do.