Defending his daughter

[Bright Star]

The story about the dad who got on the bus to defend his daughter cause she was being bullied raised some questions in my mind. One of which is that if the school that she goes to has a zero tolerance policy against bullying then why was she being bullied? AND why might he go to jail for what he did? So it's ok for his daughter to be bullied but it's not ok for the father to defend her?

The whole thing stinks. On the other hand, they could pass a whole truck load of laws against bullying & it won't do a damn thing cause teachers can't be everywhere.

Bullies have always targeted the weak or weak looking. & it's a sad fact that when someone who's bullied trys to defend themselves that they are the ones who get into trouble. Bullies somehow get away with it.

[Greenday]

Link? I have zero idea what you are talking about.

[IDrinkaRum]

Here is a link to one of many articles and a copy of the video (http://bannedontheweb.com/dad-defends-daughter-against-bullies-she-has-cp-video/)

Daughter was being bullied on bus, was afraid to go to school, and has cerebral palsy.

What I want to know is, why wasn't the child put on a special needs bus? Don't all counties/states have those?

[AdminAssistant]

What I want to know is, why wasn't the child put on a special needs bus? Don't all counties/states have those?

Maybe not. There wasn't one in my county growing up - or at least in my part of the county. In rural/poor areas, I imagine everyone rides the same bus.

[Greenday]

Well, he rightfully was arrested because he went on a school bus threatening children. I wouldn't want some psycho to get on a school bus and start my kids if I had any. I'd want him locked up.

And that's what he is, a psycho. Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.

[Bright Star]

Well, he rightfully was arrested because he went on a school bus threatening children. I wouldn't want some psycho to get on a school bus and start my kids if I had any. I'd want him locked up.

And that's what he is, a psycho. Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.


That's overshadowing the fact that the daughter was bullied. The problem still exists. Throwing him in jail isn't going to solve the original problem.

[IDrinkaRum]

Chatari and James Jones (Daughter & Father) interviewed by Matt Lauer (http://www.parentdish.com/2010/10/04/bullied-girl-with-cerebral-palsy-speaks-out/?icid=main%7Caim%7Cdl7%7Csec1_lnk3%7C175286)

Mr. Jones tells his side of the story.

Daughter was crying at the school bus, when bus came up, 20 minutes late, students in total chaos, and father felt compelled to do something.

Chatari hasn't been to school since the incident on the bus. Was hospitalized for a week due to "stress" because she blamed herself for her father getting arrested. She is being home-scholed, though she'd like to go back to her regular school. When Matt Lauer asked her if she thought things would be any different, she said she didn't think so.

[Greenday]

That's overshadowing the fact that the daughter was bullied. The problem still exists. Throwing him in jail isn't going to solve the original problem.

I'm not ignoring the bullying. I gave a bunch of valid suggestions for how to deal with the bullies. All of which were better options than going onto the bus and terrorizing a group of children.

[crashhelmet]

Well, he rightfully was arrested because he went on a school bus threatening children. I wouldn't want some psycho to get on a school bus and start my kids if I had any. I'd want him locked up.

And that's what he is, a psycho. Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.

Acts of anger and rage, especially when protecting a loved one, do not constitute psychotic behavior. It's not even sociopathic behavior.

Did he deserve to get arrested? Sure, but only for the crimes he was charged with. Disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function. He didn't physically assault any of the kids on the bus. He did what any parent that actually cares about their kids would have done.

If anything, he has the right to sue the school district for allowing his daughter to be subjected to a hostile environment. That video was shot from a camera on the bus. The driver and those responsible for viewing the footage are responsible for stepping up and putting an end to that kind of behavior.

CH

[IDrinkaRum]

As a mother of a special needs daughter, I can understand the father's rage. If the circumstances were right, and she was a regular school bus, and she was being bullied, I'd talk to the bus driver, the students on the bus, but if neither listened, I'd lose my temper too.

Going Momma & Poppa Bear for the sake of your kids can happen. And with a special needs child, your Momma/Poppa Bear instincts go off the charts.

This girl was poked with pencils, pens, fingers, had condoms thrown at her, even had an open condom thrown into her hair! And this activity wasn't reported by the bus driver?

If the bus had video cameras recording all this, why wasn't it reported?

There is FAIL all the way around here.

[telecom_goddess]

Wow....yup that's the sign of a true bully....pick on the kid that doesn't even have the ability to run away let alone fight back.

Great to see that kids haven't changed since school began in this country.:mad:

[BlaqueKatt]

Well, he rightfully was arrested because he went on a school bus threatening children. <snip> I'd want him locked up.

Had someone thrown an opened condom in my hair, due to my latex allergy they could be charged with aggravated assault/attempted murder-but because it was "only a kid doing it" it becomes ok?

What if she was being sexually assaulted by another student-I guess he should just be ok with it.

But just because he's an adult and they're kids, he should just stand by calmly while his child is pleading for help and wait for someone else to handle it right?



Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.

when a parent's child is in danger, and the people that are supposed to be preventing it do nothing a parent can lose the ability for logical/rational thought. or have you never seen people threaten or actually harm those that have harmed their children? It's called "extreme Emotional Duress"

[Greenday]

Had someone thrown an opened condom in my hair, due to my latex allergy they could be charged with aggravated assault/attempted murder-but because it was "only a kid doing it" it becomes ok?

What if she was being sexually assaulted by another student-I guess he should just be ok with it.

But just because he's an adult and they're kids, he should just stand by calmly while his child is pleading for help and wait for someone else to handle it right?

when a parent's child is in danger, and the people that are supposed to be preventing it do nothing a parent can lose the ability for logical/rational thought. or have you never seen people threaten or actually harm those that have harmed their children? It's called "extreme Emotional Duress"

Arguments that have nothing to do with the situation. I love it.

She wasn't being beaten up, sexually assaulted, etc. She was being harassed. Being harassed shouldn't result in spazzing out and acting like a physical threat to people. The most obvious answer to it is reporting it to authorities. He made zero attempt to do so.

You know what my mom did when she found out I was being constantly bullied? She physically went to the school and fought until something was done. Kids were suspended for multiple weeks. My mom threatened legal action. She didn't spaz out and attack any of the kids.

[crashhelmet]

Arguments that have nothing to do with the situation. I love it.

She wasn't being beaten up, sexually assaulted, etc. She was being harassed. Being harassed shouldn't result in spazzing out and acting like a physical threat to people. The most obvious answer to it is reporting it to authorities. He made zero attempt to do so.

She was poked, pushed, and had all sorts of things thrown at her. That's a little more than just harassment. Go poke, push, or throw things at a cop. See where it lands you.

You know what my mom did when she found out I was being constantly bullied? She physically went to the school and fought until something was done. Kids were suspended for multiple weeks. My mom threatened legal action. She didn't spaz out and attack any of the kids.

He didn't attack any of the kids either. He yelled, pointed fingers, and said things he shouldn't have, but he did not attack them.

CH

[Greenday]

So an adult who is older and supposed to act more mature is being held to the same level as the bullies? Wow.

An adult threatening kids is different from kids threatening kids, especially in the eyes of the law.

[BlaqueKatt]

An adult threatening kids is different from kids threatening kids, especially in the eyes of the law.

wow wish I had had that infinite wisdom when my teachers threatened me with detention, or when my parents threatened to "paddle me so hard I'd eat standing up for a week"

As compared to the kid who threatened to kill me while holding a knife.

Good to know my parents/teachers threats should be more serious.

she was being assaulted, he raised his voice to her attackers-which is worse.

[Giggle Goose]

Honestly, I'm glad the dad yelled at those little shits. I have no sympathy for stupid fucks who get their kicks by picking on others just because they look and act different. Good for him.

As an aside, the parents of the bullies should be ashamed of themselves. If I ever found out my kid was doing horrible things like that to a special needs child I'd do far worse than that girl's father.

[blas87]

What GG said.

Kids are so horrible.

[AdminAssistant]

I can understand the father's frustration, but he has made sure that she can NEVER go back to that school again. I had one of those mothers who would storm up to people that were picking on me and yell at them. It made the bullying worse, not better, because now they had the added ammunition of my psycho mother fighting all my battles for me.

[smileyeagle1021]

And that's what he is, a psycho. Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.

Because we all know how effective cops are :rolleyes:
They would never ignore a complaint such as having stuff thrown at a child, because that is so much more serious than a kid getting jumped and the group threatening to kill him... that it of minor importance in comparison.

The police are useless and every sane parent knows this. Sane parents know that if they want their child to be protected they have to do it themselves. It is true insanity to think that someone as useless as a police officer would help you.

[Canarr]

The police are useless and every sane parent knows this. Sane parents know that if they want their child to be protected they have to do it themselves. It is true insanity to think that someone as useless as a police officer would help you.

Ah, of course... "I knew that the police couldn't/wouldn't help me, so I had to take matters into my own hand! It's not my fault!"

If the father's little stunt broke the law where he lives, he should be punished accordingly.
If the bullies' harassment broke the law, they should be punished accordingly. And, yes, maybe the father's actions helped draw some attention there. Maybe not.

Doesn't change the fact that you can't go ahead and take the law into your own hands just because you don't agree with the way the law (the police) handles things. Unless the bullies' actions towards his daughter fulfill the criteria for self-defense, he has no more right to attack them than they have to harass his daughter.

You only have a functioning justice system if the law is the same for everybody, everytime. You can't pick and choose to whom it should apply, and to whom it shouldn't.

[smileyeagle1021]

No, but apparently the police officers can pick and choose whom the law should apply to.
If law enforcement consistently did their job there would be no vigilantes... it is because people get tired of seeing NOTHING done by law enforcement that they decide to take it into their own hands.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Incorrect, at least, insofar as it applies as a general statement.

Generally, law enforcement is allowed to prioritize their efforts. There's more or less universally more crime than LEOs can deal with at any one time. It is therefore necessary to handle more important and better established crimes before less important and poorly established crimes.

In this instance the father was caught on tape doing what he did, this is more or less never the case with bullying.

Like it or not, the job of police departments is NOT to met out justice in the name of the accuser in every single fucking instance. They do their best, if you feel that their best is inadequate, feel free to start being part of the solution. Vigilantee justice is counter productive.

[smileyeagle1021]

Wingates, the police ignored my complaint about 4 people jumping me when I was 12... there is no way I will ever feel that what they are doing is adequate, they lost my respect for life because of that.
Add to that the tendency for police in Utah to refuse to investigate crimes against homosexuals (I won't hold them not investigating something minor like a car break in or petty vandalism... there is little likelihood that they would be able to get enough evidence to catch the person and even if they did it would be at too high of an expense). South Salt Lake PD though has refused to investigate attacks where the person has ended up in the hospital. SLC PD only investigated the accusation that undue force was used by church security against a gay couple and without cause because they had received political pressure from the mayor's office (the mayor knows that more than half the residents of SLC hate the LDS church and investigating them is good politics). A couple that was attacked outside a SLC bar got no police assistance whatsoever (the bar took more action against the attacker than the police did).
At what point can we admit that the police don't just prioritize but discriminate?

A fun experiment we did at work, we had a white girl with no accent call in a report of a guest who was being loud and obnoxious and we wanted escorted off (we really did have that problem). The police arrived within 5 minutes. Same complaint except called in by our obviously middle eastern boss two weeks later and it took half an hour before he called again to ask why the hell the cops weren't there and almost an hour before they actually showed up. I have a real hard time believing that short of widespread riots (which there weren't, the police blotter was very uneventful according to what was published) I can't think of any reason other than they didn't want to help the Arab man that there was so much longer of a wait.

[crashhelmet]

The school says they never received reports of the bullying. That should have been the first step, not going crazy on the bus.

The people responsible for viewing the video footage from the camera should have been brought to their attention. The bus driver should have brought it to their attention. They are all obligated to bring it to the school's attention. Yet, they didn't.

Then again, maybe they did and the school did nothing. maybe the school said "kids will be kids" and let it go. Now they're denying having knowledge of it to save their asses.

CH

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Wingates, the police ignored my complaint about 4 people jumping me when I was 12... there is no way I will ever feel that what they are doing is adequate, they lost my respect for life because of that.


Nevertheless, your limited experience does not reflect upon law enforcement as a whole, most especially outside of Utah. I won't deny that police officers aren't perfect, and some are outright bad, but that does not in any way invalidate the rest.

[crashhelmet]

A friend of mine posted this link on FB tonight. I thoguth i'd throw it here ratehr than create another thread about bullying.

This Can't Continue (http://parentinginprogress.com/2010/10/04/this-cant-continue/)

My favorite quote is not from the posting itself, but a comment following it.
...do unto others as you would have them do unto your children!

CH

[KitterCat]

Its sort of sad reading some of the responses here. Strange in my parents day the parents would either teach their kid how to defend/fight the bullies, yell at the bullies themselves or talk to the bullies parents to try and get the problem to stop. Not necessarily in that order. Now we’re suppose to ignore every action in front of us and report it to the “authorities” wither that’s the school, police or media.

A fathers not suppose to react to his child crying while telling him about being bullied on the very same bus he’s about to put her on. He’s not suppose to react to watching as that bus pulls up 20 minutes late, with no control over the kids from the bus driver. He’s suppose to act dead to the world, not even raise his voice to be heard since that would be disorderly conduct and would proceed to take the bus another 3 minutes late causing a disturbance to a school function.

One also has to wonder if there’s a video of the bus drive why hasn’t the bus driver reported the bulling? Is the fact that the kids are too wild under his/her watch causing them to miss this? Or is it just to much to right up an incident report?

[KitterCat]

Cat, would you think the father's actions where right if it turned out his daughter was just manipulating him to help her pick on kids she didn't like? Don't you think investigation is better then assuming people are guilty?

As for the video footage; nobody probably checks it without a reason. After all, who has several hours of free time to watch videos of kids sitting on buses.

Its also possible the bus driver didn't notice what was going on since he is busy driving a bus and not paying attention to the students.

I would think that the fathers actions would still be correct given what information he had. I would however think his daughter was a little manipulative ass. However from the reports I’ve read on the incident that hasn’t been show. The daughter has been telling the truth and is blaming her self for the incident. Sort of sick how the victim is being blamed for the incident by telling her father instead of the bullies being blamed.

When it comes for investigation you have to put yourself in parents position. Do you trust your kid or not? Have they proven that they are truthful or are they constant liars? If there’s no reason to think that their lying why would you need to wait for school officials to do an investigation on a simple bully issue? This isn’t CSI, people shouldn’t need a full criminal report for what should be a basic parenting issue.

The reason I bring up the video footage is because in MD it is very rare for a school bus to have a camera on it. About the only reason Baltimore county puts one on is due to a bus driver repeatedly requesting one due to problems with the students. Such as fights, bulling, chaos ect. Its to cover the driver so when little snowflakes parents say that their kid could never have bullied and beat up the other child you can pull out video to prove them wrong. So I’m sort of curious if having cameras in this incidents district is standard or not.

[Andara Bledin]

And that's what he is, a psycho. Because any sane person would have contacted the police/media/lawyers/etc. Not threaten a school bus full of children.
Have you ever tried to go up against a school board to fight for a child with a disability that's being bullied?

It's a really tough fight, and it will cost a lot in both time and money to get the job done.

A former co-worker went through this exact fight, and it nearly cost her her livelihood, which would have cost her custody of her kids (her ex is abusive). Luckily, she is a very determined and organized woman, so she had them by the balls from the start, which is the only reason she won.

I've flipped out over people attacking animals that don't even belong to me, so I can't imagine the holy terror I'd become were someone to abuse a child that was in my care, regardless of their age.

She wasn't being beaten up, sexually assaulted, etc.
She was hit with physical objects, which included condoms. I'd say that is both assault and potentially sexual assault.

The school says they never received reports of the bullying.
Then again, maybe they did and the school did nothing. maybe the school said "kids will be kids" and let it go. Now they're denying having knowledge of it to save their asses.
This. The former co-worker had been fighting her school district for nearly 2 years before she finally sued them. They denied her having ever made a complaint. It seems they forgot the minor fact that she sent many of them via registered mail. :devil:

In other news regarding this incident, it appears that it is likely that charges will be dropped and Jones will receive only probation and a bill for the court costs in the amount of $1200.

^-.-^