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Approaches to living
  #1  
Old 03-03-2012, 08:10 PM
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Default Approaches to living

This is likely to be a fairly long post. Probably incoherent at times.

The background to this is that I know several people with advice for me. The variance in personalities is fairly even. On one extreme is PLC - Pizza Loving Chum - who reckons romance, especially the sex part, would be particularly good for me. I tend to view romance as being for people who know what they're doing (if I find either of them, I'll let you know). He now endorses 'pay to play' (so to speak) as a good method of feeling ... excellent about yourself, I guess. I dont' particularly feel such activities are unethical, but I don't see why I should be involved. In short, live for the now.

Another is Successful Chum (PLC is successful, but not in the same way) - he also reckons romance would be good for me, though has backed off in recent years. He tends to the view of live for the future - save up, pay off debt, live a better life over the length of it.

Those are the two extremes, and there are others inbetween. The whole relationship between us all isn't just down to me being dragged one way or another, and for the most part I'm fiscally trying to emulate SC, just so I can free up more cash for later. Most of this has been driven by my father's lack of brains and success, and the way I was sort of having to work for long hours for sod all to support him. I also abhor debt after seeing him use credit cards as cashflow, and then hope something would turn up to help him get out of the hole. It never really did. However, of late I've started to get my finances to a position where I've managed start having spare cash for saving up decently, and I have a few choices. I was initially going for solar panels - partly as an investment and partly to prop up my occasionally shoddy green credentials. The investment potential there has cracked, and I've looked at other options, such as throwing it at my mortgage to knock it down and free up more spare cash (far better payback than solar) and so forth. I'm more or less working on improving my income and suchlike - a long term proposition, that will eventually pay off.

However, two days back a work colleague died. There's a post on CS in GWC. I've started to wonder if I'm missing out. PLC's advice to enjoy life more because we're a long time dead is making more sense, though not necessarily the methodology involved. I'm 42 and somewhat out of shape (heavily overweight), though I can manage fifteen or twenty minutes on the crosstrainer (elliptical) from time to time.

I'm not asking for direct advice on what I do or how or why, since I doubt I've mentioned everything from my perspective above. I'm more interested in what tack other people take on this. Live to work or work to live? I'd also be interested in why you do that.

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  #2  
Old 03-03-2012, 08:30 PM
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You only live once. I don't see the point in wasting it working so hard that you never actually lived a life. Everyone asks me why I didn't stay in Afghanistan for an extra four months and make a lot more money. Truth is, while I believe money can buy things that make us happy, what the hell am I doing with it out there? Afghanistan made me miserable. I was already on rocky terms with my ex/good friend. We no longer talk. One friend became suicidal as a result of me being out there. I had no friends there.

So yea, I'm sitting here typing, unemployed. I've got a fair amount of money saved up for a 23 (Soon to be 24) year old. I just spent a month in Auckland, NZ partying my ass off and having the time of my life. And even as a natural introvert, I've begun to learn how much I've been missing not having friends around and not having someone to love anymore. I miss that all so much and I can't wait to start it all up again.
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  #3  
Old 03-03-2012, 10:48 PM
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I'm certainly in no position to offer advice on this subject even if it were wanted... but, as with any issue, a balance between the extremes is likely to be the best place. Neither putting all your effort into saving for a future you may never see (and, too, virtually anywhere you put your money has risks) nor getting there after all and having nothing are particularly appealing. Which of course you know, which is part of why it doesn't count as advice Just... empathy.
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Last edited by HYHYBT; 03-03-2012 at 10:52 PM.
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Ramble Alert
  #4  
Old 03-04-2012, 12:07 AM
Rantsylvania 6-5000 Rantsylvania 6-5000 is offline
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Balance. You live this life once, and you don't know how much time you'll have.

Money: Save some for the future, in case you live long enough to need it. But don't forget to enjoy life now.

Diet and exercise: Eat healthy, but enjoy some junk food too. Exercise is great for physical, mental, and emotional health (and if I can ever get rid of this depression and get motivated again, I'm going to do more walking and hiking). Get plenty of sleep, and don't let anyone make you feel inferior for doing so. Your health is more important than impressing a bunch of brainwashed fools, who think that sleep is for the weak.

Love, romance, sex: Ugh, I still don't know what to do about this, so I avoid it. I miss the excitement of it all, but I'm not willing to ever let a guy hurt me again. It's hard to strike a balance here when there's so much emotion involved.

Work: Work to live, don't live to work. Who wants to be on their deathbed, looking back on their lives, and realize how much they've missed? There's family time, "me" time, and a whole world to explore out there. Most employers don't give a rat's ass about you, why give your whole self to make some asshole executive rich?

I'm 42 as well, and I've been unemployed for three years. This has been a good time for me to reflect on what I wish I had done differently, and how I want to live the rest of my life. I don't want to miss out on anything anymore, and I don't want to feel like shit anymore either.

I might be back with more ramblings on this, since this stuff has been on my mind lately too.
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  #5  
Old 03-04-2012, 01:26 AM
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I will be honest.

I have no clue. Every day I wake up and I just do I make the choices that make the most sense at the time sometimes that means planning for a future other times it may mean living in the now. I have no overall life policy.
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  #6  
Old 03-04-2012, 02:02 AM
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For me it's, enjoy, plan for the future, and spend money wisely, but don't obsess over it.
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  #7  
Old 03-04-2012, 11:03 AM
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Andara Bledin Andara Bledin is offline
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Life/work balance: I've always been a live to work type of person. I'll work my ass off while I'm on the clock, but I won't work to the detriment of my physical or mental health. The point of money is to make your life comfortable and enable you to afford to do things that will enrich it. But everybody's priorities on what will enrich their lives are different, so while I work to have time and money to play, someone like my old boss worked to have the money to work some more.

As for romance, if you don't feel you're missing anything, you probably aren't. Again, not everybody wants or needs the same things. Some people have to have a significant other to feel fulfilled and others are almost asexual in their lack of need for a personal companion in their lives - some of those are interested in finding someone to maybe spend their lives with, and some are not only not looking, but have no intention of ever looking and are quite happy flying through life solo. In my case, I'm pretty much in the middle; I have no problems at all flying solo, but I find life is a lot more fun when I have someone to share it with. Plus, sex is an awful fun perk.

As for health... well, I'm totally the wrong person to ask about that. Although, I have recently improved my diet, and I am losing weight just from eating more scratch-prepared meals as opposed to freezer section entrees. It's been a month since I ended up with a roommate who is happy to cook, and I've lost enough of the extra weight I carry around that someone else has asked me about it. Now I just need to rescue my recumbent bike from the garage.

^-.-^
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  #8  
Old 03-11-2012, 02:49 PM
Seshat Seshat is offline
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From the perspective of someone who's been so far down that there were very few places lower to go:

Make your life comfortable.

Not excessive. Not luxurious, unless luck happens to give you the opportunity.

But ensure you give yourself enough leeway to enjoy life.


Plan for a comfortable future, as well.

Plan that you WILL become disabled at some point: the majority of people do, whether temporary or permanent. So having emergency cash stowed away is very, very wise.
Having trustworthy, reliable friends in your pocket is also wise; noting that that requires you to be their trustworthy, reliable friends when its' their turn to be disabled.



Hm. To use a gardening metaphor:
Structure your garden (life) around the perennials.
But allow yourself to buy some annuals every year, to brighten things up.
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  #9  
Old 03-19-2012, 05:37 PM
SkullKing SkullKing is offline
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I Save mos t of what I earn.

I currently work days and study nights. As such I have very little free time.

I however greatly enjoy what time I do have. I do not impulse buy. and try to take advantage of promotions/opportunities.

I also have much fun cheaply.

I have arranged for my money to go to people I love If I die So It won´t be wasted.

I have laid out a plan for me to retire comfortably in about 40 years.
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  #10  
Old 03-22-2012, 07:19 AM
Gravekeeper Gravekeeper is offline
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I strive for balance. Doesn't always go according to plan, but I do try and aim for it. >.>

As for romance, can't help you there. Swore that off years ago. No idea how to resume that particular aspect of my life either. The hours I work are too hard to maintain it.
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