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Remove "No" from Your Vocabulary
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Old 02-28-2020, 11:45 AM
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Thumbs down Remove "No" from Your Vocabulary

A mother in Laketown, UT, is fighting a rule in her daughter's middle school that bans their students from saying "no" to anyone who asks them to dance. A boy asked her to dance during a Valentine's Day dance and she turned him down. However, the principal told her to dance with this boy.

School policy forbids kids from saying 'no' when asked to dance
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Old 02-28-2020, 09:34 PM
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Would the principal prefer the girl tell him to "fuck off?"
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Old 03-04-2020, 07:06 PM
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I agree with the mother. If the boy creeps the girl out, she should not have to dance with him. I hope the mother can get things changed here.
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Old 03-24-2020, 10:03 PM
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That is appalling. I'm sorry for the boys who are turned down, but that's life. The thing the girls SHOULD be told is to say "No" nicely (unless the boy becomes a PITA about it).

But can't say "no"? Nope.
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Old 03-26-2020, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixelated View Post
That is appalling. I'm sorry for the boys who are turned down, but that's life. The thing the girls SHOULD be told is to say "No" nicely (unless the boy becomes a PITA about it).

But can't say "no"? Nope.
No. For the love of god no. We need to stop teaching girls to say no "nicely" every girl that told me no "nicely" ended up leading me on until I got enough personal experience to realize that "I'm just not in a good place to date," "I don't want to ruin our friendship" "if we dated it would be forever and I'm not ready for that"

While sounding nice also don't sound like No.

I wasted years chasing after girls that were "nice about it" but never actually clear about it. Because a clear concise, "No I don't want to date you" isn't nice. it won't feel nice it kind of sucks really but in the long run it's bloody freeing.

Boys should be raised to be able to handle disappointment and rejection. They should be able to hear "this is never going to happen" and not fall to pieces and not bad mouth the other person.

There isn't a nice way to reject a person because rejection hurts. So let's teach girls to reject the boys they don't want and boys how to accept it with grace and class.
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Old 03-26-2020, 03:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackfaire View Post
We need to stop teaching girls to say no "nicely" every girl that told me no "nicely" ended up leading me on until I got enough personal experience to realize that "I'm just not in a good place to date," "I don't want to ruin our friendship" "if we dated it would be forever and I'm not ready for that"
There's a difference between a firm but polite "no", and leading someone on.
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  #7  
Old Yesterday, 07:06 AM
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There's a difference between a firm but polite "no", and leading someone on.
Exactly! But we teach them to say shit like "I'm just not looking to date right now" "I'm not ready for us" etc any number of responses that lacking experience sound like "Not right this second but of course at some point"

The problem is there isn't exactly classes in dating and if like me you didn't date until you were 19 and your romantic life has been littered with failure and rejection then you don't have the knowledge and the skills to understand what people are saying when they won't speak plainly.

Couching no in phrases that are deemed "polite but firm nos" don't work if the nos aren't clear.
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