Myself: Part 2

[Andara Bledin]

No, distance contact will never be as good as face-to-face contact. That is a given.

My response is only to the idea that because others have let her down that it's not worth even reaching out, which is just not true.

^-.-^

[blas87]

I think what Katt means is it'd be more comforting to speak to someone who she knew could be there, closer than several states or countries away. As great as it is to be reached out to, sometimes it still doesn't compare to having a person right in front of you. Although, I believe with all my heart that we are a family on here and CS and nearly everyone is an open door kind of person if you need to talk.

[Andara Bledin]

Well, does claiming to care, and then never initiating contact or bothering to return it, really sound like they care? Actions speak volumes, and I've had my FB account for around 5 years, and Blas is actually the first person to ever initiate contact. out of close to 200 "friends".

First, those people who never respond to contact are jerks.

Provided, that is, that they were aware that there was something to respond to.

Facebook is a great place to catch up with people, but it's also incredibly spammy. So much so that I've actually turned my Facebook messenger off because it's just that bad.

That said, however, if I know there's a message for me there, I will respond. Always. Same with email. Same with PMs here or on any other forum. Same with Skype.

As for initiation; I won't initiate contact (beyond a basic friend request) unless I know the person moderately well. It's not that I'm stand-offish, but the exact opposite. So, in order to avoid offending people, I let them make the first move and then gauge my response level by that.

You don't have to take my word for any of this, however, as there are several people on Fratching who I chat with regularly who can confirm that I do respond, and that I do care.

^-.-^

[Aethian]

Everyone else my age has been to college or is/has been married or has had a kid. Not that I want that or need that right now. It's just jealousy that I don't get that kind of love or security from another person.

I do want those and don't seem them coming up in my future very soon. I wish...I wish I could be happy that way but I know it's a long shot.



BK...I don't know what to say. I care but your right I was to selfish looking into my own life and I'm sorry.

[BlaqueKatt]

If you refuse to trust that there are people out there who mean it when they say they care, then I don't see how it becomes anything other than a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Well, does claiming to care, and then never initiating contact or bothering to return it, really sound like they care? Actions speak volumes, and I've had my FB account for around 5 years, and Blas is actually the first person to ever initiate contact. out of close to 200 "friends".

[blas87]

If I remember correctly, that was us commiserating on FB messager together.

Sorry Kat, I deleted my FB temporarily. My woes have gotten to the point where I had to not have it available so I didn't have to see how happy everyone else around me was. I don't want to hear of another baby or engagement or see another "Look at my hot bf/gf!" pic when....guess what? I don't have that. I don't get that.

Sounds stupid, I know. But I need time to get my crap together. For now, I feel like all I have is a closet of cute clothes and a nice car. And that's it. I have a shit job, I live with my crazy parents.....never went to college. Everyone else my age has been to college or is/has been married or has had a kid. Not that I want that or need that right now. It's just jealousy that I don't get that kind of love or security from another person. I get my tits gawked at and everyone goo goos and gah gahs at me because they think I'm an idiot.

[Andara Bledin]

If you refuse to trust that there are people out there who mean it when they say they care, then I don't see how it becomes anything other than a self-fulfilling prophecy.

^-.-^

[BlaqueKatt]

As am I. The last person to show they care about you wasn't Plaidman.

said=/=show.

and quite frankly, talking just depresses me, because for the most part, like now, no one understands, and tells me my feelings are wrong. I know a lot of people here have autism, but that doesn't mean yours is like mine, or your experiences are anything like mine. I can't trust what anyone says online,or over the phone, it's nothing personal, but people can pretend to be anything, even something they're not(one of my stalkers developed this way). Which is why I rely on actually spending time with people.

I've disappeared from online for months at a time, no one ever noticed, which tells me, they likely didn't care all that much. Especially as my personal info would take under 30 seconds to find.

[Jaden]

As am I. The last person to show they care about you wasn't Plaidman. I can demonstrably prove that's false. I won't post private conversations here, but at the very least, we have PMed a few times, and I've checked in on you every now and then, BlaqueKatt, and promised that you could talk to me whenever you felt like it. You've just never taken me up on it. Seriously, I'm not at all an emotionally stable person (obviously) but I'm a good listener, and I try to give good advice when I can.

[BlaqueKatt]

You didn't call me or text me to go out. Maybe you're just texting the wrong people.

yes because calling/texting someone in another state to go out makes perfect sense[/sarcasm.]

and talking does nothing, I want to leave the damn house once in a while, with other people(severe social anxiety, so going out alone isn't an option)

It's partly a perceptual issue. You don't know where those people are so you assume they don't exist.

I agree with Greenday's assessment: It's not that nobody cares about you; you're just not in communication with them.

and quite simply, if I knew them I'd be in communication.

If you honestly and unemotionally consider the question, you'd realize that if truly nobody cared, then nobody would have responded. So, thus, I present (and represent) empirical evidence that your assertion is mistaken.

Not necessairily, being polite, and pressures of society can play a huge role. My spouse publicly acts as though everything is fine, however at home I'm ignored or told how he wishes I were dead.

[Greenday]

(seriously, if you'd ever like to chat, you can contact me on Skype. I'm on almost every evening and nearly always available to talk or just listen as the occasion requires - ID: andara.bledin)

^-.-^

And as I mentioned in my other thread, I have absolutely no life so I'm always online.

[Andara Bledin]

this is incorrect...

It's partly a perceptual issue. You don't know where those people are so you assume they don't exist.

I agree with Greenday's assessment: It's not that nobody cares about you; you're just not in communication with them.

If you honestly and unemotionally consider the question, you'd realize that if truly nobody cared, then nobody would have responded. So, thus, I present (and represent) empirical evidence that your assertion is mistaken.

(seriously, if you'd ever like to chat, you can contact me on Skype. I'm on almost every evening and nearly always available to talk or just listen as the occasion requires - ID: andara.bledin)

^-.-^

[Greenday]

this is incorrect, see above, haven't been invited out in 3 years, every time I call someone, or text, I get ZERO response, not even so much as "call back later, I'm busy, Go away" NOTHING, I'm pretty sure when you go THREE YEARS without talking to anyone, it's a pretty good sign no one cares.

You didn't call me or text me to go out. Maybe you're just texting the wrong people.

[BlaqueKatt]

2: Nobody doesn't have at least 1 person that cares about their existence. See #1.

this is incorrect, see above, haven't been invited out in 3 years, every time I call someone, or text, I get ZERO response, not even so much as "call back later, I'm busy, Go away" NOTHING, I'm pretty sure when you go THREE YEARS without talking to anyone, it's a pretty good sign no one cares.

Just because my experience =/=yours, does not mean it's not true.

The last person to tell me they cared, was plaidman. My sister hasn't spoken to me since I stopped loaning her drug money(4 years ago)-I'm not even sure she's still alive.

The last phone call I received was well over a year ago, last returned text-2 years, and I send them, and call people.

Last time I talked to anyone on FB messanger was Blas, a couple weeks ago.

[Andara Bledin]

Let me say just 2 things.

1: Depression lies. Don't trust it.

2: Nobody doesn't have at least 1 person that cares about their existence. See #1.

^-.-^