Ear piercing children/infants

[LeChatNoir]

So, coming from the tattooed child thread, I thought I would post this.

I used to work at a Piercing Pagoda, where (as the name implies) we did ear piercings. All we did were ears, and we did these piercings using pre-packaged, sterile earrings and the dreaded gun. We also pierced children as young as 2 months old.

By the time I quit, I couldn't stand doing ear piercings. There were several reasons for this, but a big reason was that a large portion of our customers were parents getting their child or infant's ears pierced. It was not just female children either, we had a surprising number of male children (and infants) whose parents wanted their ear(s) pierced. It drove me up a wall.

While I respect the parents choice to pierce or not to pierce their child, I do feel that the vast majority of parents don't realize how serious getting a piercing is, and what kind of care it involves. They do it for cosmetic purposes, never thinking beyond "Oh, I want my little baby girl to have cutesy little diamonds like mommy!" Also, they seem to assume that it's not going to hurt their little one at all. I can't count the number of times I would be asked, "Is it going to hurt them? Is she going to cry?" And those parents would get pissed off when I'd tell them, yes, most likely they are going to cry.

You are poking a piece of metal through flesh, creating a wound that will take months, possibly years, to heal completely. Why the hell wouldn't that hurt?

Thank goodness we were allowed to refuse piercings when the child was uncooperative or otherwise expressed that they did NOT want to get their ears pierced. If a 6 month old won't even let me clean their ears, and is crying at the sight of my gloves, I'm not going near them with a piercing gun. Sorry mom, here's your money back.

Oh, and no, you can't walk away when I pierce your kid's ears. I don't care if grandma is there, I don't care if it's going to make you cry to hear them cry...you want to do this, you're going to stay there and watch.

Anyway, this turned into more of a rant than a debate starter...I don't know if it should be moved to Things I Hate or not. To summarize, ear piercing children without their consent makes me uncomfortable, and I think it's a bad idea. The whole process of piercing has been trivialized to the point where most people don't realize there ARE dangers involved, regardless of how simple the piercing is. Don't pierce your kid just because they are androgynous looking (Hello, that's what babies are!), or you want them to "look cool like daddy".

[ladyneeva]

On the one hand, I wish my parents had pierced my ears as an infant because then I'd have pierced ears and could wear all the stunningly gorgeous earrings I see and I wouldn't remember the pain lol.

On the other hand, not only is everything you said true but it's not like you can "undo" piercings once they've healed can you? So if the child decides she/he does NOT want earrings later, they'll still have the holes and that could annoy someone who did not want to have holes there.

If I was backed into a corner and had to state an opinion, I believe I would err on the side of caution... not get it done because the child can always decide later to have it done if THEY want it.

[DesignFox]

The big reason I did not have my ears pierced as an infant, even though all my female friends did, was because my Dad wouldn't allow it.

He didn't want my ears pierced. Period.

Once I was old enough to sort of decide for myself (I was ten and wanted earrings very badly) he let Mom take me to have it done.

He doesn't seem to disapprove of the additional ear piercings I've had done, so my guess is that he just wanted me to be able to choose for myself.

When I was in photography, I saw many baby girl infants with ears pierced (one mother took the baby to have her photo taken moments after having the piercings done...no duh she's cranky...moron!).

I don't have a direct problem with girls having their ears pierced because there is no social stigma attached to that. If it were me, I would wait until my child was old enough to have a say in the matter, though.

[AdminAssistant]

I was 5 when mine were first pierced; it was my Kindergarten graduation present. :D But I remember having a long talk with Mom about if I was really sure I wanted it, that it would hurt a little bit, and that I would have to help take care of them.

I understand why infant girls' ears are pierced in some cultures, but I don't agree with it. As I said in the other thread, there are other ways to denote whether the baby is male or female.

[LeChatNoir]

I was 5 when mine were first pierced; it was my Kindergarten graduation present. :D But I remember having a long talk with Mom about if I was really sure I wanted it, that it would hurt a little bit, and that I would have to help take care of them.

I understand why infant girls' ears are pierced in some cultures, but I don't agree with it. As I said in the other thread, there are other ways to denote whether the baby is male or female.


I have no problem with kids getting their ears done when they can actually consent to the procedure. I do recall having kids as young as like 2.5 or 3 say they wanted it done, and actually sat through it without even a flinch. Sometimes kids surprise you.

And I agree, it's a lot easier and healthier to just dress your child up in gender-indicating colors/styles. Especially since I have had parents pierce their MALE children, earrings are no longer an indicator of anything :P

[MaggieTheCat]

I personally think that children should be old enough to be allowed to have a say in whether they want their ears pierced or not. Even if they're only 2 or 3, as long as they at least sorta know what's going on and understand the procedure, fine. While piercings CAN heal up (if you leave earrings out long enough, eventually the hole will start the close up) usually there is still a small mark or scar on the ear where the piercing was. Usually not very visible unless you look for it, but still, kids should have a say when it comes to altering their own bodies.

Now, the thing that annoys me the most out of this situation is that kids can't get safely pierced with the needle piercing method until they're at least 16 (at least, it's that way in Wisconsin -- not sure if it is everywhere.) Piercing guns are horrible for many reasons; among others, they hurt a lot more, cause a lot more trauma on the ear than necessary, take longer to heal, and most of all, they're generally not nearly as sterile as needles. Even with a parent's consent and presence, piercers can't pierce kids under 16 with needles, meaning that if a minor wants to get their ears pierced prior to age 16, they HAVE to go with the more DANGEROUS of the two methods. Okay, yes, most of the time when someone gets their lobes pierced with a gun, it's not really a big deal; most of the time, with proper care and treatment, it'll heal fine and nothing bad will happen. Most of the time. But I have heard some really awful stories of gun piercings gone really bad, especially when done on the cartilage (upper part of the ear.) While there can still be complications with needle piercings, it's generally a lot safer and cleaner method than the piercing gun, provided that the piercer keeps a sterile piercing salon and equipment and knows what they're doing.

[McDreidel09]

Ah yes. The ear piercing. I got mine done when I was three, but I told my parents I wanted it done. I don't remember the pain, but I remember crying because it hurt and getting ice cream afterwards. :D

I agree with the majority on here. Kids should be able to tell their parents if they want to get it done. It's their bodies. No parent should force their child to alter their appearance.

[tabbyblack13]

I had my ears pierced for the first time when I was around 5 (I don't remember the exact age) and I think it might have hurt but I don't remember it. I also had second holes put in during High school and that did hurt. I remember wanting to do it so I made the choice and my parents allowed it. A child should be able to make the decision about having a sharpened piece of metal stabbed though their ear.

Also note that when my mom had her ears pierced it was done by hand with a person poking it though her ear lobe with a half of potato on the other side to stop the needle. I prefer the gun.

[guywithashovel]

My mom works in the jewelry department at Wal-Mart, and she often has to pierce the ears of little children, even babies. I might get some unpleasant remarks for this, but I think it's a little sick for someone to want to pierce their infant's or little kid's ears just so they can "look pretty like Mommy" or "look cool like Daddy," especially if it's going to put the child in pain.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Italian babies are sometimes pierced because the presence of gold near the eyes is said to be good for eyesight.

I didn't have my daughter's ears pierced. Frankly, that was just one more choking hazard for me to worry about. She can get them done or nor when she's old enough to choose for herself.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Piercing a baby's ears is also a very cultural issue. In Mexico, for example, it is normal and expected to pierce a baby girl's ears---many times it is done by doctors to newborns before they even leave the hospital!

Mothers who don't have their baby girl's ears pierced can deal with a lot of pressure from older female family members, I have been told stories of grandmothers sterilizing a needle and doing it themselves when the Mother was not around. It's not just wanting the baby to look like Mama, it has some very definite cultural and religious associations, having to do with protection from evil and such. It is really, REALLY uncommon in Mexico to see a baby girl without piercings---so uncommon that people will notice and point it out and question it.

Anyways, I'm sure other countries have their own cultural norms for this practice, I just know from experience a little about how it is in Mexico. I have been told it is pretty much the same in most of other Latin American countries, as well as in Spain.

[LeChatNoir]

Piercing a baby's ears is also a very cultural issue. In Mexico, for example, it is normal and expected to pierce a baby girl's ears---many times it is done by doctors to newborns before they even leave the hospital!

Mothers who don't have their baby girl's ears pierced can deal with a lot of pressure from older female family members, I have been told stories of grandmothers sterilizing a needle and doing it themselves when the Mother was not around. It's not just wanting the baby to look like Mama, it has some very definite cultural and religious associations, having to do with protection from evil and such. It is really, REALLY uncommon in Mexico to see a baby girl without piercings---so uncommon that people will notice and point it out and question it.

Anyways, I'm sure other countries have their own cultural norms for this practice, I just know from experience a little about how it is in Mexico. I have been told it is pretty much the same in most of other Latin American countries, as well as in Spain.


We had many, many hispanic customers at my store. It was not uncommon to see little girls, some still infants, with 2 holes in each ear. What always drove me nuts from a perfectionist's viewpoint was that most hispanic children with pierced ears had ridiculously crooked earrings. I assume it's because the majority get pierced at home? It's another reason that piercing babies is not always good...their ears are too small to tell where the earlobe will eventually end up. You pierce in the center today, 10 years down the road those earrings are almost at the end of the lobe. Most times it works out, but not always.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

...most hispanic children with pierced ears had ridiculously crooked earrings. I assume it's because the majority get pierced at home?


Actually, in Mexico it is most commonly done by nurses or doctors before the baby is sent home (unless the family is very poor and rural and can't go to a hospital, then yes, it is done at home). There are no special tools for it, and often no sterilizing done. The nurse will simply take screw-back gold earrings and pop one through each lobe, screw them on, and the baby is released to go home. They do it so often, to pretty much every girl baby, that they are very quick and careless about how they are positioned.

It is soooo considered a non-issue in Latin countries that I am always a little amused by how many Americans find it mean or distasteful to pierce an infants ears. A lot of Latina women from these countries would react like this --> :eek: to the idea that someone would find it mean to do that to a baby. I can only imagine an American Mother having a baby at a Mexican hospital, after she discovers the nurses have 'helpfully' pierced her babies ears for her.


I also know that Hindus believe piercing a hole in the lower lobes of the ear will help distract evil spirits. They believe there are acupuncture benefits as well, and they have a ceremony called Karnavedha when a child is 12 days old, where they ritually pierce the child's ears. Both boys and girls go through this ritual.

[DesignFox]

<snip>

I also know that Hindus believe piercing a hole in the lower lobes of the ear will help distract evil spirits. They believe there are acupuncture benefits as well, and they have a ceremony called Karnavedha when a child is 12 days old, where they ritually pierce the child's ears. Both boys and girls go through this ritual.

Ah. Thanks for that tidbit. When I worked as a children's photographer I often noticed that customers of Hindu background pierced the ears of the little boys. They were the only set of customers I ever noticed having done that. Now I have some idea why! :)

[tropicsgoddess]

My paternal grandmother pierced my ears when I was a baby (she was a nurse). If I have a daughter I would have her ears pierced as a baby too. I honestly don't see what the fuss is about (probably because of my culture/heritage as a South American) as long as it's done the right way.

[Boozy]

On the one hand, I wish my parents had pierced my ears as an infant because then I'd have pierced ears and could wear all the stunningly gorgeous earrings I see and I wouldn't remember the pain lol.

Me too! I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 16, and it hurt. I have a low threshold for pain, and I bitched and moaned about it for days. I told my mom that if she'd done it for me when I was an infant I wouldn't have had to go through all that.

And yet, if I were to have a child, I wouldn't do it to them. Unless we're talking about fixing a harelip or something, I think it's important that people make their own decision about body modifications.

I can only imagine an American Mother having a baby at a Mexican hospital, after she discovers the nurses have 'helpfully' pierced her babies ears for her.

Can you say "International incident"?

[Flyndaran]

I don't give a care what is culturally normal. An innocent's safety is more important.
I even am against cirumcisions on children, partly because of a thread from this very forum.

[IDrinkaRum]

I didn't get my daughter's ears pierced. BIL#1 and his wife got their oldest daughter's ears pierced, MIL gave her diamond earrings, and the child lost them. Then she decided she didn't want to wear earrings anymore, and the holes closed up. Then 2 years later, she wanted the holes back, so they had to re-pay to have her ears re-pierced.

If Child Rum wants her ears pierced (just like me! I was 17 when I got mine done though), I'd like her pediatrician to do them. However, she thinks I have "boo boos" in my ears. :D

[PepperElf]

my own personal thoughts on this... granted yes technically parents have the right to do this to their children... i just think the child should be of an age or mentally capable of knowing what is happening to them and being able to say whether or not they want the piercing.

my mother took sis and i to get our ears pierced. I don't remember how old I was... maybe 8 or 9? Sis is about 1.5 years older (one day off).

we were both involved in the decision, it was something we wanted. so yes, it hurt, but we were willing participants.



i just feel bad for the infants and tiny children who don't have a choice and don't know what's happening to their bodies other than "Mommy that HURTS!" at the initial piercing, and then all the pain and soreness that follows.

I honestly think those parents aren't thinking things through.

[fireheart17]

As far as ear-piercing goes, I honestly think it should be for children of about 4, maybe 5 years old and up. The ONLY exception being for religious or cultural reasons.
In Australia, from what I know, there's no legal baring on ear-piercing, but for most other body piercings, the minimum age without a parent or guardian is 16. For nipple and genital piercings, it's 18. There's also meant to be a cooling-off period I believe...
I'll agree with the others as well, there is more than one way to show that your child is male or female. From my experiences at a supermarket, I've made only 3 mistakes with babies genders and that's it.

[BroomJockey]

The ONLY exception being for religious or cultural reasons.


No offence intended, but that's about as useful as saying "you're not allowed to drive drunk unless you promise to be really really careful." And by that, I mean anyone can just say it's cultural reasons.

[Fashion Lad!]

The thing with ear piercing is if at the end of the day you don't want your ears pierced, you don't wear earrings. Yes, you'll probably always have holes in your ears, but it's not like they're very noticeable. After time, they probably start to heal to a degree.

At the same time, I would never pierce my infant. That's a decision my child would have to make on their own. Or, unless their mother decides it's time and in that case she would win because she's the boss. :p (I'm kidding.)

I'm against ear piercing infants, but, in the end, it could be just like a really bad hair cut: correctable and or manageable.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Just saying, female genital mutilation and footbinding were both handed out due to cultural reasons, so it's not really a reasonable excuse.

Not comparing them to ear piercing, just saying that anything no matter how awful can be blanketed under that phrase to become acceptable if you use that to excuse one thing like ear piercing.