Religion Comes Knocking

[Saydrah]

At least once a week, in the summer!

I live right by a headquarters for LDS missionary services, and I think they start new missionaries out for training in my neighborhood. I get lots of door to door salvation salesmen- at least one set a week in the summer. Sometimes Jehovah's Witnesses also drop by. We've even had a set of nuns- not sure what was up with that, though.

When I was an annoying teenager, I played pranks on door to door missionaries. I was so sure that as an areligious (not atheist, but don't believe in religion) person I was superior to someone who dared go 'round preaching at me, and that they would probably just enjoy having a good story to tell, anyway! Now that I've had a job that requires going door to door, I treat folks who drop by with a little more humanity, and it really gets me down when I see others being rude to the missionaries who drop by. I've never had a missionary tell me anything but, "Can I leave this literature with you?" or "Thanks anyway," when I've explained that I'm not interested, period. They're much nicer than the newspaper salesmen who come around- though the last one of those got a sale out of me for giving the rat on my shoulder a kiss. It's nice when people don't gross out when they see my ratties.

I've actually gotten into the habit of keeping Vitamin Water and Clif bars around for the Mormons during "the season." It gets hot and thirsty going door to door, and since most are new to it, they might not yet have gotten into the habit of bringing snacks and hydration along. I started out offering tea, but quickly realized tea is not allowed! They're quite good company if they accept my invitation to step in for a snack (there are always cookies and milk in the house, too) and appreciate the change from slammed doors, even though I make it quite clear that all the tricks in the book have been used to try converting me and I remain unabashedly opposed to all organized religion. I've had some very nice, totally non-religious conversations.

So how do you react when religion comes knocking?

[Seshat]

It depends - mostly on their behaviour, also on my condition.

If getting up to answer the door is painful and difficult, and they'd been knocking repeatedly and insistently, they'll get a blunt 'go away' and a closed door. (If I'm in that much pain, I just don't answer the door unless the knocker keeps knocking and doesn't seem to want to go away.)

So, presuming I'm not in major pain, my behaviour depends on theirs.

- I HATE it when they don't want to say straight out what they're doing. Religion, door to door sales, anything - if they lead me on, and try to play that they're not actually preaching/selling at me, they can expect me to get blunt with them. I'll interrupt and ask them to cut to the chase, and if they refuse, I'll just say something like 'if you can't even tell me why you're here, it can't be that important. Goodbye.' Closed door.

- If they're rude about it, pushy and demanding, I'll again give them a blunt sort of 'go away'. No, I don't want to discuss the state of my soul with a rude stranger.

- If they're nice and polite, however, then I'll either politely tell them I don't have time, or I'll discuss comparative religion with them. :D Sometimes it leads to a pleasant, open discussion, where different religions are compared: this is when they're surprisingly open-minded for a religion hawker. Sometimes it scares them off. For some of them, it opens their mind to a new way of looking at things.




My own personal beliefs hold that this sort of preaching is extremely rude. In this society, everyone has heard of Christ - it's extremely hard to avoid hearing of Christ. Therefore, I - or anyone else - either already know a great deal about Christianity, or am capable of going to a library or church and finding out.

Yes, the early disciples were expected to spread the word. But there are two vast differences between them and modern Christians: there was no mass media in 40 AD, and there were very few Christians in 40 AD. Nowadays, you can't get away from the 'Jesus loves you' message.

If these 'missionaries' were coming around to check whether I'm disadvantaged or in need - that would be a completely different matter. I just might be a lonely, housebound widow who is being neglected by her family and could use a hand and someone to have a cup of tea with. Or a single mother, or - well, any of a number of disadvantages. And yes, as part of helping, they can go ahead and mention that they're doing this because it's part of their faith, and check whether their client interested in the faith. That's fine.

But coming specifically to convert people? Bah. Two assumptions there: that the person is not already Christian, and that the person is not capable of deciding for themselves. Incredibly rude, to my way of thinking.

So it really doesn't bother me to be blunt to the ones who pile rudeness on top of an already discourteous activity.

[Greenday]

I've never actually had someone come knocking on my door about religion. Hasn't happened at home, and no one would be allowed to come into the dorms to do that. They have, however, stood outside the dorm, and asked people if they'd take a quick survey. And then after you finish, presuming you actually did it, they'll give you a little spiel about the statistics of the surveys and their religion if you want to hear it. Most of the time they have been very accepting of my personal beliefs and haven't been pushy. Maybe once or twice they've gotten me agitated as I was in a hurry, but I'd just say sorry and continue on to wherever I was going.

[Saydrah]

The ones at my college campus do annoy me- it's usually "Campus Crusade for Christ," and they're ON college property using college resources (tables and chairs) to recruit for their organization. I don't think religious groups should be allowed to use things the school paid for.

[blas87]

Anywhere around here is fair game for the crusaders. I want so desperately to ask the landlord to make the properties "no soliciting" (btw, it's not just religious crusaders, there are also college kids trying to scam people and people selling stuff for their kids' schools). Some of us just don't have the money (or the time, or the desire besides!) for that kind of stuff. I don't want to listen to anyone preach at me.

[Saydrah]

When I'm feeling antisocial, a rat on each shoulder does wonders for getting rid of the riff-raff when answering the door. Especially my hairless rats.

[AFPheonix]

I've only gotten a few JWs coming around now and again. I'm so rarely at home it's not a big deal. If they look Jesus-y when I look through the peephole, I don't answer the door. If they manage to fool me anyways, I'm polite but firmly discouraging.
I am half tempted to answer the door topless sometimes, just for giggles though.

Speaking of giggles, the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the thread title was this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV-a1vmZ6y8

[Seshat]

I once either shocked a bunch of JWs, or cracked their minds open a little. I still don't know which.

They came to the door, and asked their classic 'what do you think is wrong with the world today' opener. The one that they try to answer with their spiel on worshipping their vision of God.

I said 'overpopulation', and backed it up. Poverty, war, famine: all resource shortages. Crowding out other species is also overpopulation. A great deal of social stress in any society is caused by resource distribution or resource shortage, so it wasn't hard to back that up.

They couldn't find a flaw in my argument, so they tried to say 'God will fix it'.

I pointed out that God had two ways of fixing it: killing already living people, or having fewer people born.

They didn't like that.

I pointed out that contraception is much gentler than epidemic, famine or war. I pointed out that it had been shown in third world countries that female education and opportunity, combined with availability of contraception, slowed the birth rate.

They started to argue - again - that God would fix it.

I quoted the 'The Lord helps those that help themselves' line. I pointed out that we had the ability to solve it ourselves. I suggested that God had made it possible for us to solve our problems ourselves, and pointed out that Lord sometimes works through us.

They had no response.

Then just to ice the cake, I mentioned that my own family was reducing population, across generations. Of six grandparents: mine and my brother's, my husband's, and my sister-in-law's, there are two grandchildren.

They looked quite uncomfortable at that point.

So I took pity on them and said I had to go. ;)

The best part of it is that I do believe in every word I said. Oh, overpopulation isn't the only cause of our problems, but it's certainly a major one.

Did I mention that they had a kid there, listening to every word? I'm so evil! :)

[Rapscallion]

I once got some JWs to admit in front of their daughter (she was four-years-old or so) that if her life depended on a blood transfusion that they'd let her die.

I've not had to deal with any door-to-door proselytisers (spelling? don't care right now) for some time. Mind you, I'm pretty much always at work if there's overtime available.

Rapscallion

[Seshat]

I once got some JWs to admit in front of their daughter (she was four-years-old or so) that if her life depended on a blood transfusion that they'd let her die.

Ooooh, Raps! I like that.

Oddly, I haven't had the JWs at my door since my overpopulation spiel.

[Norton]

As a former Jehovah's Witness, I can give you some insight to the other side of the story. Note that I say former JW. I was raised that way, but have since come to term with my own beliefs.


Saydrah: It's very nice of you to be hospitable to missionaries. Even if you aren't swayed by their message, I'm sure they appreciate your attitude and kindness. We used to go door-to-door in all kinds of weather, sometimes for hours on end. It was always nice when a householder offered us a drink, or just a chance to get out of the weather while we spoke.

this sort of preaching is extremely rude. In this society, everyone has heard of Christ - it's extremely hard to avoid hearing of Christ. Therefore, I - or anyone else - either already know a great deal about Christianity, or am capable of going to a library or church and finding out.

Ah, but there are different kinds of Christianity. JWs are different from Catholics, Protestants, and Baptists. They believe their specific religion is the only salvation. They honestly want to give people a chance to survive the coming Armageddon. Also, they believe they have to preach in order for Armageddon to come. Jehovah will not move forward with it until everyone alive has been given a chance to worship him.

I want so desperately to ask the landlord to make the properties "no soliciting"
That won't help in the case of JWs. They give free literature, so they're not technically soliciting. They are encouraged by the higher-ups to ask for donations, but they rarely do, from what I've seen. Maybe they're more insistant about donations in some parts of the country, though.

I am half tempted to answer the door topless sometimes, just for giggles though.

JWs visit many many houses every year. That probably wouldn't be the first time they've seen someone under-dressed. In fact, they'll probably be relieved that you didn't answer the door brandishing a weapon, or threatening to sic a dog on them like some people have done. I've had all the above happen to me in my 10+ years as a JW.

Seshat: The whole "waiting for God to fix everything" mantra is one of the reasons I'm no longer a JW. I believe we should make the best of the world we have right now, instead of waiting for God to fix things for us. Oh, and I happen to agree with your views on overpopulation.

I once got some JWs to admit in front of their daughter (she was four-years-old or so) that if her life depended on a blood transfusion that they'd let her die.


Yes, it's very sad. Because of a few lines in an ancient book, JWs deny themselves and their families a possibly life-saving procedure. Thankfully for them, there are often alternatives to blood tranfusions available. Not always, though...
The fact that they admitted this in front of their daughter is no suprise to me. I had a Medical Directive Card (also known as a Blood Card) for as long as I could remember. The card stated that no blood was to be given to me under any circumstance. Every year when they were renewed, a sermon would be given about why JWs abstain from blood. My mother would also explain to me how if I were ever in a hospital and she wasn't there, to make sure that doctors gave me no blood. She said I could kick and scream and pull the I.V. out of my arm if necessary. JWs are told this from very early on. Often even as children, their beliefs are so strong that they'll die for them - but of course anyone who dies before Armageddon gets to be resurrected in a new perfect body after all the wicked has been wiped out.

Once again, their belief of "God will fix everything" prevails.

And I couldn't disagree more.

[Saydrah]

I have to admit I'm not near as fond of JW's as of Mormons; I just don't think it's right to have children that young going door to door. Having been a canvasser (door to door trying to get people to help the environment) myself and a lifelong political junkie who actually enjoys precinct walking, I've seen some real crazies who answer the door with weapons and the like- I'd never bring a child along, especially for religious purposes. I think the Mormons have the right idea (though the sexism I could do without)- if you MUST put someone in danger, make it young adults who are capable of running fast if necessary!

[AFPheonix]

We've had Mormons bring babies along, too, so they're not entirely without guilt in that regard.
These were usually really young couples who hadn't figured out the whole baby thing yet, though. The last time it was very cold out and they hadn't dressed the baby appropriately, much less themselves so Mom let them in to warm up and evangelized them right back.

[Seshat]

They believe their specific religion is the only salvation. They honestly want to give people a chance to survive the coming Armageddon. Also, they believe they have to preach in order for Armageddon to come. Jehovah will not move forward with it until everyone alive has been given a chance to worship him.

If there's anyone in the Western world who hasn't heard of JWs and had a copy of their Watchtower(?) shoved into their hands, I envy them. And they probably live on a Station in Outback Australia, or in the middle of the Canadian tundra.

My argument stands - and the JWs don't care, I'm sure.

Seshat: The whole "waiting for God to fix everything" mantra is one of the reasons I'm no longer a JW. I believe we should make the best of the world we have right now, instead of waiting for God to fix things for us. Oh, and I happen to agree with your views on overpopulation.
<snip>
Once again, their belief of "God will fix everything" prevails.

And I couldn't disagree more.

I think waiting for God to fix everything is lazy! Like a child who makes a mess they're perfectly capable of cleaning up, and waiting for Mummy to fix it.

I like to think I'm adult. I'm pleased you agree. :)

[Sylvia727]

My mom invites “Jesus salesmen” to convert to her religion. “Why, no thank you, I’m quite happy with my church. We’re down at the corner of Blank and Blah, you’re welcome to join us at any time.” Said with a smile, it’s usually the fastest and politest way of getting rid of them. If they show any interest, she tells them all about her congregation and her dogma.

My grandma changed churches once, not based on pushy conversions, but genuine caring. When she broke her hip and was laid up in the hospital for two weeks, the pastor of her 30-year parish didn’t visit or call her at all, but the pastor of the campus chapel visited her twice. The second time, he brought a magazine and a candy bar. When she recovered, she changed churches and denominations to the local chapel, because their pastor followed the eight beatitudes (“Visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked…”).

I think if more denominations and more religions worked together we would all be much happier. I was eating in a café last month, and in the booth next to mine were three gentlemen discussing their missionary work. Apparently their church was getting together with other denominations to “get young people fired up about Christ”. They honestly didn’t care which congregation the youngsters chose to attend, they just wanted to inspire them. It made me feel warm and fuzzy, even if I won’t be getting fired up.

[Seshat]

My mom invites “Jesus salesmen” to convert to her religion.

Now that's a great idea!


When she recovered, she changed churches and denominations to the local chapel, because their pastor followed the eight beatitudes (“Visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked…”).

Excellent reason to switch.


I think if more denominations and more religions worked together we would all be much happier.
<snip>
They honestly didn’t care which congregation the youngsters chose to attend, they just wanted to inspire them. It made me feel warm and fuzzy, even if I won’t be getting fired up.

Totally agreed.

[Jadedcarguy]

I'm atheist, so I usually just tell them that and grin when they recoil as if presented with the devil himself. Most religious folks don't really understand what atheist means. :D

[MadMike]

Back when I was still living with my ex, some mormons showed up. I was tired and was trying to politely get rid of them, but she invited them in.

To their credit, they were nice enough, but they just went on and on and on...

Some JWs showed up here a few years ago, around Christmas time. It was a Saturday morning, so I was still in bed, but my wife was up. She wanted to get rid of them, so without thinking, she told them we were jewish. Not sure if they believed that one, with the multicolored lights strung all over the outside of the house, the two wooden reindeer in the front yard, the wreath on the door, and the 7-foot tree in the living room. :D

[DexX]

For many years, my wife and I shared a house with a friend of ours. He's a lovely guy, but a bit of a pushover. One day i got home from work a bit later than usual and found him and my wife sitting in the living room with a couple of religious doorknockers. When we finally got rid of them, our housemate apologised - he'd felt sorry for them.

The problem was that they kept coming back. Over the next two months, they knocked on the door no less than four more times, two of those in the first week. They kept asking for our housemate to come to the door, asking why he hadn't gone to church the past weekend. They started to get amazingly pushy and rude. One time they turned up in a group of four. FOUR OF THEM!

The longer it went on, the less and less polite I got. I told them our friend wasn't interested, but they seemed to want to hear it from him. I finally got him to tell them to go away, and they stayed away.

They are like regular scam artists - once they find an easy mark, they won't let up until they are chased away.

[CancelMyService]

Sadly, I have to agree with the above. When I was living at home, some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door, two nice old ladies who reminded me of my gramma. I talked to them for a couple of minutes since even my hellbound non believing soul had the heart to slam the door in their faces, and didn't give them any indication I was buying what they were selling. I thought I gave them a polite dismissal, but I had them knocking on my door every weekend for like a month until I had to resort to the old "dive behind the couch until they go away" routine.

I guess it was a pretty ironic twist, usually older people are preyed upon by scammers, this time the old folks were coming after me.

[Jadedcarguy]

Sadly, I have to agree with the above. When I was living at home, some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door, two nice old ladies who reminded me of my gramma. I talked to them for a couple of minutes since even my hellbound non believing soul had the heart to slam the door in their faces, and didn't give them any indication I was buying what they were selling. I thought I gave them a polite dismissal, but I had them knocking on my door every weekend for like a month until I had to resort to the old "dive behind the couch until they go away" routine.

I guess it was a pretty ironic twist, usually older people are preyed upon by scammers, this time the old folks were coming after me.

Pentagram. Nail. Front Door. Nuf said. :D

[DesignFox]

Back when I was still living with my parents, we had the JW's come around a couple of times. They were never pushy, though. Always pretty polite...usually just handed me a pamphlet and walked away when I said no thank you.

I did know a child in elementary school who was a JW. I always felt bad for him that he had to leave the classroom during holiday celebrations or when other children were celebrating their birthdays (and that our teacher always set aside time to celebrate on everyone's birthday- but we couldn't for him). :( Even during Halloween, he could not dress in costume or participate in the Halloween parade...it made me sort of sad to see him get left out like that...

Sometimes, I wonder what he's doing now, and if he kept the faith of his parents. I remember him being very sweet as a kid, too...he seemed to take it all in stride...

[chops]

I saw a bit of a twist today....JWs canvassing a local laundromat. I could see what they were up to when I saw them parked in front.

Now, this was one of the rare times when there were actually any number of people in the laundromat. I'm actually glad they weren't very pushy...one of them was the chitchatty kind of person, the other was the one who approached me. I quickly dismissed him with a "not interested"...yes, I know I could've handled it better, but I could've handled it worse, too. I just don't like the idea of being preached to, and it gets me on edge.

[tropicsgoddess]

Only once since I've lived in my current neighborhood have I had a Jehovah's Witness or LDS person come up to pass around literature. When I see them at the bus stop I'm nice to them, I'll take their literature and have a small light conversation with them unless I'm in a rush or something.

[DesignFox]

This whole talk of JW's reminded me of something funny that happened to myself and my co-worker.

A family had just moved here from somewhere in the midwest. They needed to switch their phone numbers to local numbers, but we couldn't do that in store for them. So, we provided them with the information they needed, and while the father was on the phone with customer service, the rest of us chatted it up.

They were very sweet people, and we chatted for a bit after the dad was off the phone since we had no other customers at the time.

Then, as they were leaving, they said they had a "gift" for us.

And we both got pamphlets about how to save our souls.

We very politely wished them a nice day, etc.

But we had a good laugh when they walked out of the store. :D

Apparently, we're in need of salvation...hehe.

[lordlundar]

With a meat cleaver and bloody hands.:D

This is actually one incident my dad was guilty of with a door to door salesman. He hunts deer for food, and he was cutting the meat up, which naturally results in bloody hands. Guess who comes knocking?

Yup. The poor salesman. My dad opened the door and the guy greeted himand held out his hand to shake. My dad had his bloody hand behind his back (right hand) and he says "you don't want me to do that" and the guy replies "sure I do! come on!". So, out comes the hand.

The bloody hand. He told me he never saw a guy clear out so fast in his life.:D

[Rapscallion]

Damn - that's a repeat of what my grandfather did many decades past to JWs. He'd been cutting up some meat with a large butcher's knife and came to the door with it still in his hands - dripping. I inherited some of his sense of humour (you may have seen elements of it), but I can't keep a straight face like he could when giving me fifty pence and telling me to go and buy him some skyhooks. Apparently he didn't have to wait long for them to leave.

Rapscallion

[Shangri-laschild]

We've had Mormons bring babies along, too, so they're not entirely without guilt in that regard.
These were usually really young couples who hadn't figured out the whole baby thing yet, though. The last time it was very cold out and they hadn't dressed the baby appropriately, much less themselves so Mom let them in to warm up and evangelized them right back.

*raises eyebrow* I have a feeling those weren't actual missionaries and just members of the congregation. Missionaries (unless you are past retirement and on a couples mission which I don't remember how it works) are either two guys or two girls. They aren't allowed to be alone with members of the oposite sex on their mission.

To those of you who are nice to them you have no idea how much you make their day even if you don't give a damn about what they have to say. They get so many rude people or even people who threaten them and try to hurt them which is really sad because a lot of them are some of the most respectful polite guys I've ever met.

[LadyMage]

I have two stories in this vain, one from my mother and one from me.

The first one is my mom's story, she had this sweet dog named cinnimon, who would "smile" on command. The smile looked like a snarl, even though she was very gentle. Well one day, some JW's came knocking at mom's door, the dog comes running as she answers the door and she sees who they are. She walks away for a moment and whispers "smile" to the dog. We never had any witnesses since then.

The second happened in a Russian orthadox church at my uncle's wedding. It was my second or third year in college and the priest approched me. The guy looked like Rasputian, which both freaked me out and made me laugh internally. He asked if I had a faith at the time, I said I was agnostic and had been since highschool. He tried to convert me and convince me of intelligent design, well I pointed out the dinosaurs and had a lovely, friendly debate, it was kind of cool.

[Amethyst Hunter]

My dad had his bloody hand behind his back (right hand) and he says "you don't want me to do that" and the guy replies "sure I do! come on!". So, out comes the hand.

The bloody hand. He told me he never saw a guy clear out so fast in his life.:D

That is awesome. :D :D

It used to piss me off when we still lived in our old Illinois house - which was situated well out of town and into the farmland/woodland areas - and we'd get solicitors all the way out there (spring and autumn were the most popular times for them to 'visit'). A whole frigging town not even 5 miles away for them to annoy, and they had to come out THERE?! :mad:

I won't openly be rude to them, but I'm not inclined to encourage them to stick around either. I hate soliciting, especially religion-based, and unless I know you or I'm expecting a serviceperson to show up my general feeling on unannounced visitors is "GTFO of my 'territory'."

[IDrinkaRum]

HAHAHAHA! I have been reading this post and thinking, "Man! There must be no Mormon missionaries in the Northern Virginia area 'cos I haven't had them visit."

Well, tonight we had an Elder come to the door. I chatted with him. It's a rule, I suppose, that both me & my husband have to be around to talk to him/his missionary partner. Daughter is sick tonight, hubs was running late to his D&D game & so I just passed some time with the poor guy. He was pleasant.

However, I'm sure I made a poor impression. My hair is sticking up on end (I have naturally curly hair and today it looks like I put my finger in a light socket) and I'm wearing black sweatpants & a black shirt with white skulls all over it. :o

He gave me a card with a website & a 1-888 number to request a Book of Mormon. I might order one (it's free) 'cos I like to read as much as possible, I'd like to learn what the Mormons believe (without having to talk to a missionary).

I don't know ... I thought he was nice and I love to talk to people. *shrug*

[Boozy]

He gave me a card with a website & a 1-888 number to request a Book of Mormon. I might order one (it's free) 'cos I like to read as much as possible, I'd like to learn what the Mormons believe (without having to talk to a missionary).

Do. Not. Order. A. Book.

Once they have your name and address, they will never leave you alone again.

If you want to know what Mormons believe, go to your local library or do some Googling.

[IDrinkaRum]

Heh, I can do that too Boozy. Thanks for the suggestion. :) I completely forgot about the whole "know name, come visit" thing.

Though I would want to add it to my collection of religious books (i.e., books on St. Therese of Lisieux, Our Lady of Lourdes, The Incorruptibles, the books by DC Talk). I could try either the local bookstores or the used bookstores. :)

[Jadedcarguy]

I could try either the local bookstores or the used bookstores. :)

Do that.

As Boozy said, once they got your info you're on their radar forever.

[Dorath]

Me an one of my old roommates used to invite them in and make sure they saw the AD&D books. The look on their faces and how quickly they left was priceless.

[IDrinkaRum]

Our D&D books are in our basement. However, in our bookcases in the living/dining room combo in our townhouse, we have a whole shelf of graphic novels (i.e., Grimm Fairy Tales, Red Sonja, Hercules, etc.) and art books (from In the Land of Hummel to Conan to Michael Monte Moore to Nene Thomas to Luis Royo). So yeah, they might just back out slowly. :D

[lordlundar]

Oh god, I should have some of my first edition stuff by the door just in case. There's some fun stuff in there about Succubi and other daemons, and they even have pictures too!:D

[Dorath]

We had an early edition of the first edition DMG, with the thief looting the demon statue. Freaks them out every time.

[IDrinkaRum]

What I find amusing (and ironic), but I found out that one of my co-workers at the Gaming Store is a Mormon! And he goes to Gen-Con. And he plays Magic, and other CCG's. And I'm pretty sure he's tried his hand at RPGs. :D

[Jadedcarguy]

Now that the topic of books has been brought up, I'd like to mention Sam Harris' Letter to a Christian nation. It's short, I finished it in less than two hours, but it remains one of the best books I've read in years. Leave it out when the JW's come knocking.

[radiocerk]

I have a set of Hindu statues and a display of Hellraiser figures by the door and Olivia and Vargo artwork books on my coffetable. Needless to say, I don't fear the religion salesmen. And if I ever feel the need to invite them in for a drink, I have Lament Configuration coasters.
We are evil in my house.

[IDrinkaRum]

We have a book that details the 30 years of D&D (it's a few years old) and hubs does like to leave the mod he's running in his Friday night campaign in the middle of the dining room table. :D

[Colchek]

My experience with JWs was after my wife and I moved into our second apartment when I started a new job. They were doing their rounds to the building, and my wife is a religious person, so naturally they got to talking, and offered to come every Tuesday to do 'bible study'. She asked what they were, they said Baptists. So for nearly 4 months, they came by and did 'bible study'. Each time they'd leave their literature. One look at the back of the 'Watchtower' and saw 'Copyright 1999 Jehovah's Witnesses', I knew I smelled a rat. My wife, however, was still convinced they were Baptists. That is, until the day they asked her to come to church. Which one? 'Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses'.

Survey says.. BZZZZZZ.

They weren't welcome in the apartment after that. They out and out lied to get in, and I no longer trust them. My wife is under explicit instructions to not let /anyone/ into the house. For a while, she was just too trusting of a soul. Not any more.

[Norton]

If you want to get back at JWs who use dishonest or harassing tactics, get them in trouble within their own organization. JWs are not suppose to lie, and they are not supposed to harass people. Guidelines are given on the manner in which they preach, and a lot of the JWs mentioned in this thread are ignoring them.

Find out their names and what Kingdom Hall they go to. Pay the KH a visit, or you can try calling. Report the offenders to the Elders of the congregation. The Elders will in turn privately speak to the offenders, and will probably give a service to the congregation reminding them not to use such tactics as it gives a bad name to the religion.

Sounds mild, right? Let me tell you, though... when the Elders ask to meet with someone in private, it's often very scary and stressful for the individual being reprimanded. Also, when someone does wrong, word gets around the congregation very fast. If a service is given on a certain wrongdoing, all eyes will be on the person that commited the offense. Report the offending JWs, and they will most likely not repeat their mistakes.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

JWs are not aloud to talk to me any more. When I was growintg up we lived next door to their "Minister". I grew up with his children. Everytime they would talk to me about their faith I would tell them about mine. Inagine the reaction when his children left the hall and started going to church with me. I was in their opionion a very bad girl :p

[Sylvia727]

I just got my first Jesus salesman since moving out of my mom's house! I'm not sure what denomination he was, since we never got that far. He was standing outside a local coffee shop that caters to college students handing out pamphlets. I told him "No thank you, I'm agnostic," and he started to pressure me, so I moved to the side and debated with him. As closely as I can remember:

Him: "God is good, God is great, yea God, etc." I cut him off.
Me: "Alright, but bear with me for a second here. Short of a burning bush in the desert or the archangel Gabriel coming down out of the heavens, I can't know for certain, can I?"
Him: "Well, no, but that's where faith comes in." *expounds on the awesome of faith and "proof" of God's existance*
Me: "But you're not asking me to have faith in God's existance. You're asking me to have faith in what you say is God's nature and desires."
Him: *goes on about how awesome his church's leaders are and how he knows they're inspired by the Above, eventually circles back to "proof" of God's existance*
Me: "I believe in God, actually. I just don't believe that anyone can know 100% what he wants of us, and I don't believe that I need to go to church or abstain from meat or abstain from sex to worship him properly."

This got him really riled up, and we actually had a good debate about the spirituality of premarital sex for a few minutes. His basic argument was that sex should be a connection and a commitment, and that since all sex has a chance of creating life it is inherently sacred. My argument was that God is a spiritual being and as long as he knows I respect and love my partner, and take responsibility for the consequences, he won't care if I have a piece of paper. He kept citing his religion as the basis for his arguements, though, so I eventually told we'd have to agree to disagree and went in for my coffee. He tried to give me a pamphlet as I left, but I dodged and said no thank you again.


I have to give this guy props, though. Not once did he threaten me with eternal hellfire. I don't mind "My way is the best way" but nothing turns me off faster than "My way is the only way."

[blas87]

The Mormons were here on Friday. I find it odd, I have never seen Mormons going door to door. They were two teenaged boys on bicycles.

Naturally, I was taking my nap and it was around 5:00 pm. There was a knock on the door. I answered and they said "We are from the Mormon Church and want you to join us" or something like that before I slammed the door in their face.

Yes, I'm rude and a terrible person. Go ahead, throw whatever you want.

Let it be known, I have nothing against Mormon people. I just hate people in general who go door to door trying to recruit people.

[PorkChop]

There are Mormon missionaries who walk around the neighborhood. They are nice guys and I have talk to them from time to time.

They came over to my store to seek permission to leave literature by the pay phones. I had refuse them but I gave them a cup of water because it was so hot outside. They tried to preach to me too. I told them that I am very secure in my Catholic church and I am very happy. Even told them of how my life improved since I have gone back to church. They were very happy to hear that.

Oh, maybe a month later or so, these guys were out strolling around until they met my co-worker at the grocery store. She is an athiest and she told the Mormon missionaries that she worshiped Satan, just to get them to leave her alone. Yeah, that scared them big time!

[Wicked_Lexi]

Best idea I ever heard was to tell them you are happy to talk to them about anything except religion! Some of them will just leave, some will just have a normal conversation with you... of course some will simply ignore you and try anyway.

I tend to stick to a Polite "No thanks" and then if they don't go away I shut the door.

[aniwahya]

People coming to the door were a lot more fun when my german shepard was alive. Nobody wants to hang out and chat with a frothing, snarling large ferocious beast declaring its desire to tear off delicious warm fleshy bits from them. Not that I would sic the dog on people, or even imply it, she just hated people coming to the door.

Though one really, really stupid guy started to open the screen door like he was going to come in. As soon as he got it open, my dog (who had been in the garage) came running and lunged for him. Thank gods for having reflexes honed by a lot of sports cause I managed to catch the scruff of the 100lbs shepard (she was one of over sized american breeds) and hold her long enough for the dumb guy to let go of the door and run away. Of course this could go under people not reading signs, because there were large "beware of dog" signs posted.

Is it just my bad luck, or do people coming to the door always find the absolute worst times? Last peeps who came to my door, came literally 15 minutes after I had just gotten home form a ten day hospital stay.

Oh, and it can be very frustrating being a night shift worker and having people wake you up in the middle of your "night".

[Slytovhand]

my turn...:D

Firstly, these days I usually ignore the knock at the door (I don't have friends just dropping in... and there ain't a lot I'm going to buy anyway). If I even bother to get to the door, I'll check through the peep hole first... and rarely open it.

If I do choose to go that way, I'll politely tell them I'm not interested... I'm a pagan - practicing shaman and studying to be a druid (technically correct... if I actually pulled my finger out :p). And if they did get inside, then they'd have to face the books on said subjects on or under my coffee table...

I did have a nice chat to a girl at the bus-stop a couple of times. No pressure at all, and she even seemed interested in some of what I had to say (such as why I believe what I do..). Too bad she wasn't there for long :(

Best stories aren't mine, though. They come from the High Priest of the coven that I was briefly attached to..

1 - he's in the shower and they are persistent.. so he gets out completely naked to open the door. Becuase he was pulled from the shower, he told them to F off...

2 - He opens the door holding something in his hand (I forget what). They start the spiel, and he says he's not interested, "I'm Wiccan". "What..you're wicked?" Then they notice the High Priestess (his wife) in the room doing up a mask with horns on it for an upcoming ritual...they never returned... As JadedGuy said... pentacle on door.. nuff said!

Slyt

[aniwahya]

The Mormons were here on Friday. I find it odd, I have never seen Mormons going door to door. They were two teenaged boys on bicycles.
.

Odd. I had the same thing happen to me the other day; two young mormon guys who looked like they still could have been in high school came to my door. I have lived here for all but three years of my life and never before had mormons knock on my door to evangelize to me. Also worth noting is from your posts on CS I know that you live in the state just north of my state (I live on the northern border so us going up there and them coming down here is common). The relatively close proximity makes me wonder if it is a quasi-local movement relative to our geographic locations?

[Pedersen]

Apologies if this is repeating something from earlier in the thread, or already well known.

The Mormon community has a strong belief in doing mission work. Basically, on reaching the age of 18, the young Mormon ... not sure of the right phrasing. Should? Will? Anyway, closest I can come: On reaching the age of 18, the young Mormon should volunteer time to the church. This comes in the form of two years of going out and witnessing, converting, and generally trying to show the people they come across the way of Mormon.

If they're starting to show up in your area, then it's just been the case that the church finally noticed a gap, and started sending missionaries to your area to try to convert the locals.

Nothing more sinister than that.