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AdminAssistant
09-20-2010, 12:15 AM
Who don't schedule their weddings with any consideration towards their guests.

One of my dearest friends from college is getting married in a few weeks. This is an event that, normally, I would love to go to. I haven't seen or talked to her in ages (we've really lost touch), and I know that a lot of old friends will be there. I was really excited about seeing everyone.

I can't go.

First of all, Fiance and I just had a very frank talk about finances and if we're going to be able to have our own wedding, then we've got to really, really cut back. Second of all, she's having the wedding on Sunday night, and he's got work/I've got class on Monday morning. He doesn't want to use up his PTO and I...I can't miss class. I can't. I won't. Bonus: she's having the wedding in the most expensive hotel in a small mountain resort town over 5 hours away.

I just don't understand it. Why not have the wedding in the afternoon? Or on Saturday? (But it has to be 10/10/10!) I'm hurt. And I'm a bit angry. I don't understand brides who don't think about their guests' schedules when picking a date. Fiance wanted an October wedding. But that just isn't possible when so many of the guests (not to mention me) either teach or are in school. We decided on May, since that's the best time for us and the greatest majority of our guests. (I have this funny thing where I actually want people to come to our wedding. Strange, right?)

So..now I'm working up the nerve to let her know that I won't be coming. I hope she'll understand, but it's a shitty spot to be in.

Greenday
09-20-2010, 12:47 AM
The wedding is about her and not any of her friends or family who may have helped get her to where she is today. Why should she give a crap about what everyone else thinks?

Personally, I don't get why someone would pick a day when the majority would be unable to go. Not sure how fun a wedding can be if all your friends can't make it.

the_std
09-20-2010, 02:05 AM
How about brides who are inconsiderate to their wedding party?

My good friend, a girl I used to live with, is getting married to her boyfriend. She asked me to be in the wedding party, and I accepted. I've never been part of a wedding before, hell, I haven't been to a wedding since I was twelve. My friend, like most of the girls she's asked to be her bridesmaids, has literally just graduated university, doesn't have much money and is fairly simple. We thought this would be a casual, fun wedding, as they'd want to live within their means.

It started to go downhill when the girls had to go shopping for a bridesmaids dresses. There are five of us (one maid of honor and four bridesmaids), and we're all fairly tomboy-ish, and we're definitely all broke. The bride decided she wanted floor-length, strapless red satin dresses. Ooookay, well, for my friend, I'll do it. But I can guarantee I'll never wear this dress again. Even if I shorten it, it's not my style. I wear skirts maybe once a year, and this is the only dress I've owned since I was... Hm... Twelve! The dresses are $200, yikes, but the bride says that she'll pay for half if we can pay for half. Alright, sure, I'll deal with it.

We've had some parties, some bridal showers, some stagettes, whee, that's fun. But I'm poor. This is starting to hurt. Oh shit, time to get my dress altered. La dee da dee da... Buh... $100? That's half as much as the dress cost! Holy fuck! And now the bride has decided that our accessories have to be gold, to match the colour scheme of the wedding. Fuck again. I hate gold, even moreso the bright, brassy shade she's chosen. And she wants us to wear bright gold high-heeled sandals. I have bad feet, have to wear special orthodics in them so I can't wear anything except sneakers most of the time. Great. Shoes I'll never wear again in a colour I hate. The cheapest pair I can find that I'm not going to die walking in? $60. Oh look, I need a necklace and earrings, as the bride doesn't want us to go without jewelry. There's another $40 for the cheapest set I can stand looking at. And now I need to buy a strapless bra, as my tits are big enough that I hate wearing them so never buy anything I can't wear a regular bra with. A steel-reinforced titanium-plated job (not really, but it feels like it because of how hardcore of a bra I need to hold the girls up), another $70 for a bra I'm never going to wear again.

And the final straw? The day of the wedding, the bride has told us that we're getting our hair done at a salon, at our own expense. But she graciously decided that we don't have our make-up done there, we're allowed to do it ourselves. I don't know what it's going to cost yet, but judging by the hoity-toity salon she's chosen, I'm thinking it's going to be a minimum of $50.

Tally:
$100 for the dress
$100 for the alterations
$60 for the shoes
$40 for the jewelry
$70 for the bra
$50 for my hair
Total cost: $420

To put it into perspective - that's almost as much as I make per month. All of this for something I'm never going to wear again. And my favourite part is that, when she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she said, "Well, I know that we're effing poor, so I'll pay for as much of this as I can."

My friends getting married have given me a lot of tips on what not to do if I ever get married. Fuck.

blas87
09-20-2010, 02:21 AM
Keep talking, std, keep talking. I can't agree with you more.

I swear I cannot participate in another wedding party until I'm making way more money, or I have friends/family who are more considerate of other people's time and money.

My bf's sister went all bridezilla because not many people in her family could afford to fly halfway across the US to come to their wedding, or they couldn't afford to stay in the luxury hotel the wedding would be at, or they couldn't afford $100 a plate (!!!!!!!) for the reception. She whined that she ALWAYS comes back home to their weddings/special occasions. Well, she also has a job that pays out the wazoo, and so does her now husband. Not everyone makes that much money.

guywithashovel
09-20-2010, 02:53 AM
I guess these people just get so wrapped up in it being "their day" that they forget to consider other people.

And yeah, bridezillas are a pain in the neck. I hope I don't have to deal with any. My sister has been married twice, and fortunately, she never did any of that stuff during her weddings. Heck, when she married her now husband, they got married on the back deck of his parents' house. It was on Thanksgiving Day, and we had Thanksgiving dinner as the reception. If I am ever lucky enough to meet someone, I hope our wedding can be something like that.

AdminAssistant
09-20-2010, 03:50 AM
I would never ask either of my brides'maids' (they're both married) to shell out that much cash. Actually, I plan on the three of us getting together and hitting the malls until we find something we all like and that's affordable, and I'm going to at least pay for the dress. I may ask them to provide their own shoes, but it'll be something they want. I don't really care what's on their GD feet. And dictating jewelry? What. a. bitch. What my sis did, and what I plan to do, is give a necklace to the bridesmaids that they can wear with the dress if they want. Still have to figure out what to do with my 10 year old niece (she'll be 11 when we get married). Junior bridesmaid? Hrmmm. At any rate. Hell, the only reason that the guys will be in tuxes is because that's what Fiance wants. Well, that and my little nephew is just going to be so damn cute in a tux. I may let him wear cowboy boots with it. :D

I have never really thought of it as "my" day. First of all, it's for both me and my fiance (hey, he's getting married too, ya know). Second of all, it's more than just the two of us. It's our families getting together. That's why I didn't want to do a small house wedding...I just couldn't imagine not having all the aunts and uncles and cousins and the great aunts from Mississippi and our friends from college and...etc. (I totally respect those that do want small weddings, just not for me.)

Yeah, the more I read wedding magazines and books the more I just go "WTF, bitches?" I'm just sad to see a little bit of that coming from someone I used to be so close to. :(

Lace Neil Singer
09-20-2010, 10:42 AM
Still have to figure out what to do with my 10 year old niece (she'll be 11 when we get married).

What about making her flower girl? I plan to make my little cousin the flower girl when I and my fiance get married.

Oh yes, and we will definitely get married on the cheap. Neither of us can stand the idea of spending tons of money on just one day. I will also want a dress that I can wear again, and I wouldn't dream of asking the bridesmaids to bankrupt themselves either. To my mind, what's important is being my fiance's wife and spending our lives together. Everything else is just window dressing.

IDrinkaRum
09-20-2010, 11:39 AM
I think I mentioned in a previous thread I went out and bought 2 dresses for my 2 bridesmaids (my sister as Matron of Honor bought herself her own dress - which I was fine with - it just had to be green) for like $10-$15 at JC Penney outlet. (If any of you have one of those outlet stores in your area I HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the store for really good JC Penney brands at ridiculous prices - like my fave pants which are like $30 @ store, I can get them for anywhere from $6.99 to $10.99 depending on how many they have - like overstock - or if they're on promtion or not).

The dresses for the bridesmaids (they too were both married & one was pregnant!) were green velvet bodice & green satin skirt of the dress. Both knew how to sew and so they were able to do their own alterations. Whew. But yeah, I didn't put too much demands on any of them. I just was worried that they would show up. (Best Man - BIL#2 was LATE to the wedding - OY - but that's for another thread, I'm thinking).

draggar
09-20-2010, 11:48 AM
My wife must be the exception then.

For the bride's maids she sent them all a swatch of fabric of the color she wanted and told them to find a nice dress that matches the swatch. Just because a dress looks nice on one person doesn't mean it'll look nice on everyone. She even told them to bring sneakers for the reception.

For the flower girls - she told the parents to "just get them something nice, a nice sundress etc." because she knew girls might be messy in them and didn't want the parents to panic over them making a mess out of the dresses. (A month before the flower girls were at another wedding - the bride insisted on a $600 dress for each of them - we said it was OK for them to recycle those dresses if they wanted to).

The ring bearer was our collie, MacLeod, so all we had to worry about was a tartain (heh, we got one for the clan MacLeod).

Groomsmen - we got tuxes that were nice but inespensive. I agreed to pay for one who was having some financial issues (who returned the favor at his wedding).

The wedding was in NJ. We did have a recommended hotel that al the guests could stay at but we also gave a list of alternatives for people who couldn't afford it, but still close and/or in a good neighborhood.

The after wedding / after-reception party was at my in-laws house where my father in law just grilled, grilled and grilled.

As for planning the wedding, it's impossible for the planners to plan a day that is convenient for everyone. AA's friend's weddding is on a Sunday, what if one works Mon-Fri and the other has to work Saturdays? I'm sure out of the guests, there isn't a convenient day of the week, even a time of day. But in the end it is the bride and groom's wedding day and they should plan it. Hopefully they understand that people can't make it if they can't, for any reason.

Greenday
09-20-2010, 01:58 PM
One of my sister's friends is getting married this Saturday. She picked what dresses they have to wear. They all have to get their hair done together that morning for pictures at 2:30pm but they have to all meet at 7:30am to start getting their hair done. My sister offered to be the last to get her hair done but nope, she has to be there at 7:30am. They all have to get their nails done a certain way. They all have to stay at the same hotel. Etc. etc. etc.

Of course the one getting married has plenty of money and doesn't seem to notice that not everyone else does.

AdminAssistant
09-20-2010, 02:02 PM
What about making her flower girl? I plan to make my little cousin the flower girl when I and my fiance get married.

At 11, I think she'll be a bit too old. Plus, one of his cousins has a couple of young daughters, so I was going to ask them...so that the wedding party was a bit more even between my family and his. Niece is also technically my step-niece, and she spends most of her time with her biological mother who lives rather far away and makes scheduling a pain.

Draggar, I understand that it's impossible to pick something convenient for everyone - but a Sunday night wedding with a late into the night reception (she's basically said that if you're going to the reception you should plan to stay at the hotel that night) isn't going to work for most of the people involved. The greater majority of people who will be there either work or go to school M-F.

Also, in this case, it's the bride and bride's wedding day.

I was talking about this with one of my professors (I've been seeking advice on the challenge of getting married and finishing my degree at the same time), and he said, "Well, you walk into a room single, and you walk out married. Anything else is extra."

Kimmik
09-20-2010, 02:20 PM
Ok I guess I am going to sound like a snob.. but the wedding.. yeah that is about the bride and groom.

It is normally scheduled to be convenient to the bride and groom.. or a day that matters to them. Me and hubby chose July 15 2004 because that was a date that meant a lot to us and we were not going to change it for any reason. We also understood that some people would not be there. Hell to save everyone money we got hitched by the JP since both of our families lived out of state.

With a wedding it may be about the bride and groom, one must understand that some guest may not be able to make it and that you have to remember that you need to make sure that you don't expect people who are cash strapped to magically afford that dress that your attendants are suppose to wear or expect someone to be able to attend if it is at night, you don't want children to attend, or if it is in timbuctoo.

but it all comes down to it is their day and it is meaniful to them.. but if you cant afford to attend, or buy a dress.. dont be afraid to tell them that. If they are not bridezilla they will understand.

protege
09-20-2010, 04:30 PM
Ugh...and I thought my aunt was bad.

She decided, to have an expensive wedding out in the desert. Seriously, none of the family lives in Arizona, so why she did this...we'll never know. Most of the family--his too--lives along the east coast. When told that most of the family wouldn't be there, she got pissy. Sorry, but I'm not about to spend a month's salary (including the vacation time) to fly out there and stay at some fancy resort. Plus, I'm not about to spend all day in a tux...with 120F heat to deal with. Fuck that shit.

I too understand that it *is* about the bride and groom. However, they have to take into account that some people might not be able to afford the hotel rooms and other things. That is, if I say I can't afford to come, don't get upset. Either help out a bit, or shut the fuck up ;)

XCashier
09-21-2010, 01:05 AM
Still have to figure out what to do with my 10 year old niece (she'll be 11 when we get married). Junior bridesmaid?
Could she be in charge of the Guest Book? That's what my younger cousin did at my wedding.
I think I mentioned in a previous thread I went out and bought 2 dresses for my 2 bridesmaids (my sister as Matron of Honor bought herself her own dress - which I was fine with - it just had to be green) for like $10-$15 at JC Penney outlet.
We went the JC Penney Outlet route for our wedding, too. My dress cost $150, my maid of honor's dress cost $50. (We had no bridesmaids or groomsmen, just the best man and maid of honor, because frankly, we couldn't afford them!) And they were lovely dresses, too; nice satin numbers with pretty beading. Now granted, this was twenty years ago, you probably won't find new dresses that cheap nowadays, but that doesn't mean you have to blow this year's and next year's wages on your dress.

Real life is not a fairy tale, your wedding will not be ☼ ♫ ♥ Oh, So Perfect! ♥ ♫ ☼ (trust me on this, unless you're rich enough to hire a whole entourage to take care of everything for you, something's going to be forgotten / late / out of synch / etc.). Just do your best and keep your sense of humor about you. :)

HYHYBT
09-21-2010, 01:50 AM
Do you *really* think that weddings should be planned around the preexisting schedule of everyone who is attending? Because unless your guest list is pretty much limited to the bride, groom, and maybe parents, that quickly becomes impossible. On the other hand, it *is* something that, if planned in advance, people generally can work their schedules around, including, if necessary, getting time off of work. Why should school be any different?

Funerals are worse, of course, because hardly anybody plans those more than a few days in advance.

AdminAssistant
09-21-2010, 03:32 AM
HYHYBT, I realize that it's impossible to plan around the lives of all of your guests, but you should know your guest list well enough to get a time that works for the majority. If it's a farm family, the wedding will probably be in early summer or winter, as that's when farmers are least busy. If most of your guest list lives in X state or Y city, it would be best to have the wedding there or as close to there as possible. If one of the members of your wedding party is a college student, you should definitely not plan the wedding during their finals week. (There's some flexibility with other tests that does not exist with finals.)

Yeah, it's a lot to be aware of. But if one of your primary concerns is making sure that as many people as possible can attend the event, then it's something to think about. On the other hand, if having the wedding at a certain locale or a certain time of year is more important...then okay. But be understanding of those who can't attend.

Greenday
09-21-2010, 03:33 AM
Do you *really* think that weddings should be planned around the preexisting schedule of everyone who is attending?

If they are expecting a lot of people to show up? Yes.

Ladeeda
09-21-2010, 05:37 AM
I would never, NEVER ask my guests to pay for their own dinner! That's the complete opposite of a guest. That's a customer. Charging admission to a wedding.

I think I'd like a cute tea for my wedding instead of a full meal. Little sandwiches (of many kinds) and other h'ordeuvres, then instead of a monster cake, a regular-sized cake for each table set there after the bride/groom cutting. Save the hassle of a line.

Also, not only tea. Tea, lemonade, club soda, maybe coffee.

Nice, simple, tiny, and CHEAP! Ain't no way I'd spend $200 for a wedding dress, or ask anyone else to do so. I'd probably just find some light colored (blue, perhaps) tea-dress and get a veil to match.

Odds are, no one else would be wearing a veil. What ho! I stand out without having to wear white, the most impractical color on Earth.

Fun fact: white wasn't the thing for wedding gowns until Queen Victoria wore a gown of white lace for her wedding to boost the sale of British lace.

guywithashovel
09-21-2010, 03:44 PM
Is isn't possible to cater to everyone's schedule. However, if I understand correctly, Admin's friends group of attendees have M-F jobs, for the most part. So having the thing on a Sunday night and wanting them to spend the night was a little inconsiderate.

blas87
09-21-2010, 03:59 PM
Now, if the wedding party was purposely trying to disuade certain family members or friends from coming (I have some genuinely nasty, horrid mannered relatives), it would be one thing.

People who do not value other people's time are not worth it in my opinion. Double points if they don't value that not everyone is well off right now.

HYHYBT
09-21-2010, 11:43 PM
Sorry, I was a bit confused when I made my previous post, thinking this was the thread on excused/unexcused absences.

I would never, NEVER ask my guests to pay for their own dinner! That's the complete opposite of a guest. That's a customer. Charging admission to a wedding.Would it still be wrong if the wedding were located in a *place* that charges admission, and buying your own ticket and meal (totaling, together, say $25 a person) counted as your gift? All theoretical, but my imaginary wedding would involve that.

AdminAssistant
09-22-2010, 01:32 AM
Would it still be wrong if the wedding were located in a *place* that charges admission, and buying your own ticket and meal (totaling, together, say $25 a person) counted as your gift? All theoretical, but my imaginary wedding would involve that.

The wedding etiquette police would say no. First of all, you shouldn't expect your guests to pay for anything.* Second of all, saying that their admission would be their gift is dictating what kind of gift they give you, which is also bad form.

I'm not saying I agree (I think it depends on the situation). But from what I've been reading, traditional etiquette would say no.

*The issue of open bar/cash bar is still a bit tricky, but most say either open bar or a select group of beers/cocktails, but anything extra is cash. A completely cash bar is considered tacky and rude.

Lace Neil Singer
09-22-2010, 11:02 AM
Nice, simple, tiny, and CHEAP! Ain't no way I'd spend $200 for a wedding dress, or ask anyone else to do so. I'd probably just find some light colored (blue, perhaps) tea-dress and get a veil to match.

Odds are, no one else would be wearing a veil. What ho! I stand out without having to wear white, the most impractical color on Earth.

Fun fact: white wasn't the thing for wedding gowns until Queen Victoria wore a gown of white lace for her wedding to boost the sale of British lace.

Ugh, I hate white as a colour anyway; I only ever wear white t-shirts or tops in summer and I'd never wear a white dress anyway. Certainly not a meringue style dress. I've already talked about the kind of dress I'd like and it would certainly be red or burgandy; those colours suit me very well. Seeing as I'm pale, a white dress would not be flattering at all.

As for not expecting people to buy their own drink; tough shit. I will of course be supplying champagne for people to drink my health and that of my husband, but if people want to get shitfaced they can do that on their own damn money. I'd hold the reception in a pub function room, so that there's a bar there for people to buy drinks.

For the record, I've been to loads of wedding receptions where there's been a bar, and no-one ever considered that to be the least bit tacky. I certainly don't; after all, the bride and groom can't provide for everyone's palate, and at least if there's a bar where people can buy their own drinks, they can choose whatever drink they personally prefer.

My brother's wedding reception was a "dry" reception; there was no alcohol whatsoever, cuz neither he or my sister in law drink much. That's all very well, but it had me, my brothers, my older cousin and my fiance rushing off to find a pub right afterwards. XD

blas87
09-22-2010, 02:15 PM
I agree with Lace. I'm sorry what the etiquette experts say, but they obviously aren't from podunk farmville Wisconsin. Free beer or drink with dinner is fine, but I will not let people get trashed at my wedding on my dime. I'm hell bent on forbidding anyone from getting drunk because I've seen some weddings just go the wrong way when guests or bridal party members drink too much.

I saw a groomsman get so drunk he was dancing with his pitcher of beer, he completely ripped and destroyed his rental tux, the groom was so sloshed I doubt he could have even satisfied the bride that night.

AdminAssistant
09-22-2010, 02:45 PM
the groom was so sloshed I doubt he could have even satisfied the bride that night.

There's no sex the night of the wedding. Everyone...Everyone I've talked to says that you're far too tired to be bothered. Exception here is if you're part of the 3% of people who are actually virgins on their wedding day. (Then, hey, it'll only take a minute anyway.)

Note that I wasn't giving MY opinion on cash/open bars, just saying what I've read.

Personally, we're not having booze. We can't afford a totally open bar, and I'm uncomfortable with a completely cash one. (I like the "have a few beers and cocktails available, everything else is charged" policy.) Even a champagne toast would be really pricey. Add to that - our families consist of either Southern Baptist teetotalers OR alcoholics and....it'll just be easier not to have any. I've tried to let my friends know this in advance, but surely it wouldn't be that great of a disappointment anyway.

I'm wearing a white dress, but probably with some element of color (either a light blue or purple). I'm pale, but I don't really care. Next summer I do need to make sure I wear more tank tops so that I don't have such a severe case of farmer's tan. I kinda want the white dress (although NO train, NO strapless, NO excess tulle), and Mom's going to be buying. Soooo...yeah.

Urg, we still have to pick colors. Good thing this is still....21 months away.

blas87
09-22-2010, 02:47 PM
No sex on the wedding night?! Gee, no wonder I'll never get married. I always thought it was because I'd never keep a guy long enough to get to that point, or there wasn't a dumb enough guy alive, but the truth speaks for itself!

Too tired? Too drunk, in most cases around here I'd bet.

It was just such a nightmare at my friend's wedding. At my bf's sister's wedding, which was quite recent, naturally my bf got drunker than Charlie Sheen in Vegas, and he stepped on and ripped his sister's uber expensive dress. Not that I agree with buying a dress worth as much as a newer used car, but daaaamn I'd be pissed as well. It's bad enough if someone accidentally spills on you or steps on your dress, but when they are drunk and wobbling around. Eck.

By the way Admin, I used to be as white as the walls, and I always wore blues and purples. Fair people have a hard time pulling off very bright colors, but not lighter or pastel colors, and certainly not plain old blue or purple. If it was neon blue or fuschia, that'd be a different story.

Greenday
09-22-2010, 02:53 PM
No sex on the wedding night?! Gee, no wonder I'll never get married. I always thought it was because I'd never keep a guy long enough to get to that point, or there wasn't a dumb enough guy alive, but the truth speaks for itself!

Screw that. My wedding night there's going to be sex at least a couple times. Sealing the deal is one of the most important parts of a wedding damnit.

AdminAssistant
09-22-2010, 03:01 PM
Yeah, but GD, in most cases the deal was sealed long, long, lonngggg, ago. If I've been running around since 9 am with not a lot of food and we finally get to the hotel room that night and I'm tired, dammit, I'm going to bed. We can have sex in the morning.

blas87
09-22-2010, 03:09 PM
Sealing the deal? Haha. That's only after you pay her father and give him two cows and three sheep and half of your family's earnings of your brewery business.

IDrinkaRum
09-22-2010, 05:01 PM
Sealing the deal? Haha. That's only after you pay her father and give him two cows and three sheep and half of your family's earnings of your brewery business.

Hahahaha Blas! That made me laugh. And quickly put down the drink I was about to take a sip from. :D

The dresses I bought @ JC Penney outlet were on the sale racks. These were the prom/dressy party/early summer wedding dresses that needed to be gotten out before the shipment for the late fall/winter weddings/christmas events dresses were shipped in.

As for sex on the wedding night? My husband & I were living together and we still had sex on our wedding night! However, we did make a quick run to the local Burger King to grab food 'cos I don't remember eating much at the reception.

And I wish to God, I had had a wedding with little to no alcohol. My parents wiling shelled out for carafes of wine to be served at the tables (but after those carafes were gone, no more). My MIL insisted on an open bar. Our wedding is still talked about ... not because it was a nice wedding but because of the open bar and everyone got trashed. :mad:

Lace Neil Singer
09-22-2010, 07:21 PM
I agree with Lace. I'm sorry what the etiquette experts say, but they obviously aren't from podunk farmville Wisconsin. Free beer or drink with dinner is fine, but I will not let people get trashed at my wedding on my dime. I'm hell bent on forbidding anyone from getting drunk because I've seen some weddings just go the wrong way when guests or bridal party members drink too much.


Problem with banning drink completely is that everyone will rush off afterwards, as in my brother's wedding. Tho, my uncle had a hipflask so he was alright. XD

That's why I think a charge bar would be fine; if someone wants to get trashed, they do so on their own money.

As for dresses; I'd personally change out of my wedding dress and into a funky party dress. For one thing, whatever venue it is, it'll be boiling hot and no place to wear a long dress. O_o

Wingates_Hellsing
09-22-2010, 07:58 PM
People rushing off is no problem at all, the time saved by keeping on schedule can be put to more important things... like wedding night sex :D

AdminAssistant
09-22-2010, 09:28 PM
If somebody considers boozing it up more important than celebrating with me and my fiance, then they're welcome to leave...more food for the rest of us. Besides, obviously I wasn't that important to them in the first place if I lose out to a margarita.

Lace Neil Singer
09-22-2010, 09:41 PM
That's your opinion; mine is that if you don't lay on anything for your guests, then don't expect them to bother to stick around.

Boozy
09-22-2010, 10:31 PM
There's no sex the night of the wedding. Everyone...Everyone I've talked to says that you're far too tired to be bothered.

Too tired to have sex with my now-husband?

Not at all.

Our connection with each other was the most important part of the day.

When we started getting tired (around midnight, I think), we excused ourselves from the reception and went to the honeymoon suite.

I was told the same nonsense from friends about being "too exhausted" on your wedding night to consummate the marriage, and I'm so glad we didn't listen.

jedimaster91
09-23-2010, 01:10 AM
There's no sex the night of the wedding. Everyone...Everyone I've talked to says that you're far too tired to be bothered.

Oh, please. :rolleyes: My wedding night was quite enjoyable. :D

Exception here is if you're part of the 3% of people who are actually virgins on their wedding day. (Then, hey, it'll only take a minute anyway.)

As a part of said demographic, call I can say is: All. Night. :D

blas87
09-23-2010, 04:11 PM
What if the whole point is to get people to leave early? I'd love to see quite a few people that I'd be guilted into inviting leave as early as possible to go get trashed elsewhere.

I don't want to even imagine wanting to leave, other guests wanting to leave, and having to babysit or kick someone out because they want to keep partying.

Greenday
09-23-2010, 05:38 PM
What if the whole point is to get people to leave early? I'd love to see quite a few people that I'd be guilted into inviting leave as early as possible to go get trashed elsewhere.

I don't want to even imagine wanting to leave, other guests wanting to leave, and having to babysit or kick someone out because they want to keep partying.

If the only way to get you to invite them is to guilt you...don't invite them. They don't deserve it.

And if someone is staying after literally everyone is leaving, including you guys, he/she can just be thrown out like any other place would.

Lace Neil Singer
09-23-2010, 10:27 PM
Just say, "OK, now who wants to help clean up?" and watch the latebies rush out the door in a body. XD

blas87
09-24-2010, 04:41 PM
I like the way you think, Lace.

Lace Neil Singer
09-24-2010, 06:22 PM
And if any stay, well, you've got clean up detail. XD So it's win win.

Tanasi
09-24-2010, 08:38 PM
After reading all this and living through my daughter's wedding this past spring elloping looks like a better decision. My wife and I in effect elloped and our wedding cost less than $100 and that included the license, preacher and meal at the Smoky Mountain Pancake House (that's where she wanted to eat.) We had to wait until after 4pm to have sex as that's the earliest we could check into the hotel and she wasn't up for having her first time in the back seat or behind a bush in the park.

My middle daughter started out a bridzilla but I put the stop on that when I cut off the money and she and her young man had to pay for the rest. Their wedding was still very elaborate and expensive but the enjoyed it. Her wedding was to be dry but her in-laws (out-laws would be more appropriate) brought their own and to the person they got hammered. Her FIL was trying to start fights so I have him some options leave (without the car), go to jail, get locked up in the smoke house or I could just shoot him and get it all over with. He choose the smoke house. I've met the SIL family twice and both times they got hammered. From what I've been told his whole family are drunks, fortunatly he abstains.

My oldest daughter returns from A-stan next month and it getting married to a PK in May. I told her we'd give her the same amount of money as her sister but she said what she's planning will cost a lot less than that amount.

Kaylyn
09-24-2010, 10:01 PM
There's no sex the night of the wedding. Everyone...Everyone I've talked to says that you're far too tired to be bothered.

I wasn't too tired...it was just, erm, that time of the month for me. It's a curse in my family, I swear.... At least I made sure my husband got to have some fun, and we did it properly as soon as possible. :D

tropicsgoddess
09-30-2010, 01:22 AM
It's been a while since I've been to a wedding, thankfully I haven't experienced any bridezilla moments or anything of the like. The funniest thing that happened was when one of the male guests came in the reception hall donning the bride's veil and her bouquet. XD After reading all these bridezilla/wedding horror stories, it's safe to say that it makes me almost want to elope. Though I don't want to deprive myself and my father the experience of walking his first born daughter down the aisle (that is if I get married before my little sisters do...hey ya never know). Dunno if SO wants a dry reception or cash bar (we're not big drinkers), but either works for me. From what I've heard a lot of people had their weddings with sit down dinners, but my friend K and her husband S had a buffet dinner for their wedding and they got their cake at Sam's Club...sans fondant! The cake was incredibly delicious and wasn't sickly sweet and the food was great. As for wedding night sex, despite what most people say, I don't see me and SO being too tired for wedding night sex. ;)