Steven Segal

[insertNameHere]

In another thread someone mentioned Polly Shore and how he still might be making movies which lead to this thought
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sort of like Steven Segal, except he is actually capable of killing me for making fun of him, in as many ways as straight to DVD/tv movies as he has stared in. You know that one where he was a former/undercover/rouge fbi/nsa/cia/black ops agent who was trying to stop the government/corporation/evil bad guy from poluting the enviroment/unleashing nuclear holocaust/killing the innocents/ killing his family.


Well, I think I just spoiled 90% of his movies.

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Can one consider anything he does lately acting? He has went WAY beyond type casting into doing the same damn character.

[Racket_Man]

Can one consider anything he does lately acting? He has went WAY beyond type casting into doing the same damn character.

fixed it for ya. even as a skinny Chicago cop to whatever CIA/Navy Seal badass in his latest they all are the same movie with the same basic plot lines ---> someone does him or grouo some wrong, Steven beats aBUNCH of people up in various wways breaking various limbs blowing shit up in the background, then battles the BIG BOSS at the end in an epic battle and kicks said bosses ass and kills him.
there is every Steven Segal movie ever made.

[Mytical]

You forgot one thing. All with the same expression. Happy, sad, surprised..his face never changed. Now I admit I am a fan, because I like action..but guys face never changes..regardless what is going on.

[Greenday]

fixed it for ya. even as a skinny Chicago cop to whatever CIA/Navy Seal badass in his latest they all are the same movie with the same basic plot lines ---> someone does him or grouo some wrong, Steven beats aBUNCH of people up in various wways breaking various limbs blowing shit up in the background, then battles the BIG BOSS at the end in an epic battle and kicks said bosses ass and kills him.
there is every Steven Segal movie ever made.

Congratulations! You've just summed up nearly every single action movie ever created.

[Rapscallion]

Congratulations! You've just summed up nearly every single action movie ever created.

Damn, I've not seen every action movie yet, and you've ruined the plot for me!

Rapscallion

[Bloodsoul]

I'd have to say, this is probably my favorite example of Segal's acting ability:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUxVSEY7CrE

[Greenday]

Damn, I've not seen every action movie yet, and you've ruined the plot for me!

Rapscallion

Sorry. At least sometimes someone important actually dies making it slightly different than the others.

[Racket_Man]

You forgot one thing. All with the same expression. Happy, sad, surprised..his face never changed. Now I admit I am a fan, because I like action..but guys face never changes..regardless what is going on.

but the same could be said of any Bruce Willis action/blow umup movie esp the Die Hard series Yippy Kye Yay M___F__er


**** note **** there is talk of a Die Hard 5 in the works (they have a director signed on). rumors were that John McLane will finally die in this one and end the series.

I love the comments on this article (a bunch of title suggestions)
http://www.avclub.com/articles/die-hard-5-has-a-director-is-actually-happening,51791/

[insertNameHere]

Bruce has done some movies with actual acting too.... not so much for segal

[BlaqueKatt]

you could say the same for many current hollywood "actors".

Tom Crusie
Johhny Depp
Jim Carey

[Racket_Man]

Bruce has done some movies with actual acting too.... not so much for segal

and that I know. just that his ACTION movies seem to bleed together into one big blur or BOOM :D

[Evandril]

you could say the same for many current hollywood "actors".

Tom Crusie
Johhny Depp
Jim Carey

Johhny Depp, IMO, doesn't really fit with the others...his characters have been weird as a rule, but not the SAME character, by any means...and if it 'counts', his character in Rango was fairly normal, other than being a lizard ;)

[BlaqueKatt]

Johhny Depp, IMO, doesn't really fit with the others...his characters have been weird as a rule, but not the SAME character, by any means...and if it 'counts', his character in Rango was fairly normal, other than being a lizard ;)

Ichabod crane
captain jack sparrow
willy wonka
the mad hatter
sweeney todd
ed wood
gilbert grape
sam(from benny and joon)


all the same basic character

[AdminAssistant]

You can not like Johnny Depp all you want, I don't really care, but Willy Wonka really isn't all that much like Sweeney Todd, except that both have pale, almost white, skin. (That's just an example of course.) I think there's a difference between Depp and Willis, who's character list reads: cop, cop, cop, cop, security guard, cop, cop, cop, psychiatrist, cop, retired cop, cop, etc.

[Greenday]

Boxer who robs a mobster...(Pulp Fiction)
Evil soldier (Planet Terror)
Hitman (Lucky Number Slevin)
Hitman (Whole Nine Yards)
Miner (Armageddon)

A little more than the same role every time.

I mean, I could do the same generalization about Depp: weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo. I'd just be doing the same thing: ignoring other movies he's been in (Like Blow which, in my opinion, is better than any of his recent movies including Pirates).

[Gravekeeper]

if Steven Seagal LAWMAN has taught me anything, it's that the easiest way to defend yourself from Seagal these days is to jog away. As long as you can stay out of his horribly bloated, sweaty limb snap radius, you're fine. In fact if you ran him a few blocks you could probably defeat him outright after he passes out. >.>

[Racket_Man]

if Steven Seagal LAWMAN has taught me anything, it's that the easiest way to defend yourself from Seagal these days is to jog away. As long as you can stay out of his horribly bloated, sweaty limb snap radius, you're fine. In fact if you ran him a few blocks you could probably defeat him outright after he passes out. >.>


what few of his latest films I have seen you are right on the money. what happened to the "I can outrun a train or car or whatever Segal and STILL do a 10 minute end of film BOSS battle.":D

[blas87]

The last I saw of Segal, he was in some horrible low budget zombie movie that took place in a hospital.

[AdminAssistant]

He was pretty good as the bad guy in Machete.

[blas87]

Oh wait, yup, Machete. I saw that, too. Didn't pay that much attention to him, obviously, lol.

[AdminAssistant]

Well, he didn't actually get much screentime. It's laughable, really, on what planet does the bloated Seagal stand half a snowball's chance against Danny Fucking Trejo. Hell, Jessica Alba could have taken him out just with her breasts.

[Rapscallion]

Well, he didn't actually get much screentime. It's laughable, really, on what planet does the bloated Seagal stand half a snowball's chance against Danny Fucking Trejo. Hell, Jessica Alba could have taken him out just with her breasts.

I'm not the only one who would have paid to see that last part, am I?

We're talking paid handsomely as well.

Rapscallion

[Greenday]

I'm not the only one who would have paid to see that last part, am I?

We're talking paid handsomely as well.

Rapscallion

o/

I would...

[Gravekeeper]

My favourite Steven Seagal role was Executive Decision. ;p

[draco664]

My favourite Steven Seagal role was Executive Decision. ;p

:lol::lol::lol:

[daleduke17]

http://celebs.icanhascheezburger.com/2011/03/24/funny-celebrity-pictures-the-varied-roles-of-bruce-willis/#comments

A Bruce Willis picture that matches the earlier description.

[Rageaholic]

I actually enjoy his movies. :o

[Rapscallion]

In soviet Russia, Steven Segal movies enjoy you.

Rapscallion