young mums and bad parenting

[suchislife]

No, not saying that all young mums are bad parents. My cousin is a young mum and she is excellent!

I'm talking about the ones I've seen on the news. The ones feeding their infants alcohol, whether it be by "accident" or to try and get them to shut up. I mean one mum fed their child burden and coke and actually LAUGHED as their child stumbled around the room!

I heard about two mums giving their young toddlers enough alcohol that the child could have DIED! What’s worse is from memory at least one mum got OFF on the charges :confused: and she was pregnant with twins. She even high fived someone in the court room when she was told her "sentence".

 poor kids, I shudder to think what sort of person they will grow up to be. I just hope that for their sake nothing like that or worse happens to them ever again!

[Boozy]

Stupid knows no age.

Sad stories, there. :(

[Lace Neil Singer]

I still remember the pregnant fourteen year old who came into the supermarket at nearly 10 o'clock at night, dragging another kid that looked to my untrained eye as around 3ish. She tried to buy vodka at my till and swore at me when I wouldn't serve her due to her looking underage and not possessing ID.

It's girls like that who really ought to keep their legs closed if they're too stupid to take the pill or get their boyf to wear a condom.

[Rubystars]

Layering protections is the best option because using the pill and a condom should cancel out the minute failure rate of a single method alone.

[blas87]

I always make my men wear condoms even though I am on the shot. The shot has 99.7% protective rate, which is better than condoms, but condoms help protect against icky infections and diseases, the shot doesn't do that.

So in case the condom rips, I still have the shot to prevent ovulation and to make my uterine lining undesirable for embryos to plant, and somewhat protects against sperm entering the uterus.

I can't believe the amount of teenaged moms I see at the mall and at other stores, stroller abandoned 10 feet away with baby crying bloody murder, and skanky teenaged whore mother flirting up a storm with an equally skanky dirty man.

[Greenday]

The pill itself is what, 98% effective? If you are going to be having tons of sex, just take the damn pill. It's not that expensive, and if you can't afford the monthly costs of the pill, how the hell would you expect to be able to afford to feed a mouth?

One of the girls I met this year decided to have sex with her new boyfriend (who I tried to tell her was an asshole), used no condom and she doesn't take the pill. This was back in October. Her TWINS are due in June. I believe it's the second time she's gotten pregnant. And the father decided to dump her and go out with his ex-girlfriend. Surprised? Anyone? Me neither.

[AFPheonix]

And even if it is expensive, there's plans and clinics out there that can get you cheap or free contraception, plus cheap or free ob-gyn exams, too. If you start using your girly parts, ya gotta take care of them. It's not hard to find these places, either, they're as close as the phonebook, or if you come and ask anyone in a pharmacy, they'll tell you where to go find them.

I know a lot of people opposed Plan B going OTC because they were afraid that girls would start relying on that (at $42 per pack, I don't have that worry), but man, if it keeps even one girl who has no business having kids from getting pregnant, it's totally worth it.

[Boozy]

Here's an interesting question on the topic: Does anyone think that the quality of sex education has contributed to teen preganancy? What kind of sex ed did everyone get in school? Does teaching "abstinence-only" work? How about access to condoms and birth control clinics?

I have a theory. Most teenagers who use their brains can find decent info on sex, and get access to condoms and contraceptives. Obviously, things can still happen in the heat of the moment, but less frequently than with the uninformed and condomless. The dumb ones who "didn't know you could get pregnant the first time", "believed him when he said he'd pull out", and "didn't have money for condoms and couldn't be bothered to find a free clinic" are the ones who, for the most part, get pregnant.

So we should protect the dumb ones from themselves by beating sex ed over their heads in schools, and making condoms ridiculously easy to get - like freebies in the schools. It won't solve the whole problem, but I bet it will significantly reduce the number of unwanted teen pregnancies.

I don't think my plan will go over well in the Bible Belt.

[AFPheonix]

Well, teen pregnancy rates in this country have gone down since 1980, so that's a bonus, but I don't think it's due to abstinence teaching, since a full 85% of us lose our virginity before marriage (and I'll bet there's a fair amount of that 15% who lied).

But yes, we need to be teaching a combo sex ed curriculum. Don't jump in the sack right away, but when you're ready, here's what you need to know about nasty diseases, what you can do to not get them, and how to avoid pregnancy like the plague.
There will still be numbnuts who still can't figure it out, and there will always be the people in religious schools who don't get any info on this subject (I know in the high school and junior high I went to, they veered waaaaay away from that topic. Fortunately the health book we had did have a chapter on it, so I did a little extra credit reading ;) )
One and a half more years and this yahoo is out of office....yay! I saw a little old lady yesterday with a Bush Countdown keychain :) Cracked me up.

[Greenday]

As one of the youngest on the boards, I can attest to what is being taught in sex ed classes these days, in my area anyway.

In my high school, and even in the middle school I went to, they'd say it's good to wait till your married, but in all realism, most of us wouldn't wait. So instead of the abstinence crap that we wouldn't by into, they taught us about safe sex. One year it was about all the STDs (Now known as STIs, sexually transmitted infections, viruses have feelings too) and dangers of sex. That was freshman year of high school. Senior year of high school we talked mostly about safe sex. My teacher even managed to obtain a female condom which he wore on his head. I love that guy.

I'm definately a fan of teaching safe sex over abstinence. It's realistic to today's society. And it has good points. We can still have our fun, not get STDs (STIs), and not have kids of our own.

[AFPheonix]

You live on the east coast though, Greenday. I imagine that in the rural central parts of this country, they're not getting the same info. I can also personally attest to the fact that kids in religious schools like mine aren't getting that info, either, and I can't even imagine what a lot of homeschooled kids are getting in the way of info in that area.
Hell, I knew a family of kids that the parents "homeschooled" that couldn't even bloody READ.

I've had idiots come, after they've bought Plan B, and try to see what they could use to prevent another scare, but rather than bring up a bloody box of condoms or ask about birth control, they just bring up a few boxes of spermicidal gel or film.
Then I get to point out to them that these are used in combo with a diaphragm. (Look dude, I know you like it bareback, but be serious here.)
I give them the phone number and directions to the local Planned Parenthood, and hope for the best. Egads.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It's no wonder that there are more idiots around; all the stupid people are breeding. -__-

[AFPheonix]

Heh...before too long, we'll be trying to water our crops with Gatorade, claiming it's got electrolytes plants crave :D

[Dreamstalker]

Here's an interesting question on the topic: Does anyone think that the quality of sex education has contributed to teen preganancy? What kind of sex ed did everyone get in school? Does teaching "abstinence-only" work? How about access to condoms and birth control clinics?

I remember getting fairly well-rounded sex ed, the teacher was frank about things (or as frank as one could be to a bunch of seventh-graders). Yes, abstinence was touched on, but not elaborated on or pounded into people's heads. What I didn't learn in class I asked mom, and she was pretty cool with explaining most things.

My dad has this to say about abstinence education: "It's like showing a 15-year-old a Ferrari with the keys hanging in the kitchen and telling them 'See this? You can't drive it.' " It's likely they'll try anything they can to get behind the wheel because it's cool, and to hell with any consequences.

I would tend to agree, especially with today's teens. Yes, there may be a few smart enough to say "Oh, OK" and leave it at that, but the majority will be spoiled risktakers who want X and want it now.

[Dreamstalker]

Heh...before too long, we'll be trying to water our crops with Gatorade, claiming it's got electrolytes plants crave :D
I could swear I heard of someone trying that once...maybe it was in NM during one of the many water restrictions. No idea what happened to the plants, but I'm guessing they died due to the salt.

[Myra]

My dad has this to say about abstinence education: "It's like showing a 15-year-old a Ferrari with the keys hanging in the kitchen and telling them 'See this? You can't drive it.' " It's likely they'll try anything they can to get behind the wheel because it's cool, and to hell with any consequences.
Exactly!

I did a report on this very subject for writing class last summer. Our current administration will NOT fund any school or organization that does not use a pre-approved abstinence-only sexual education program. Many of these programs were found to contain medically inaccurate information as well as a few outright lies for entertainment's sake. One church group in Louisiana was found to be using federal funds to teach kids that abstinence was the only way to go because Mary was a virgin when she had Jesus. So basically, they were using the money for a religious message which is way against the court-ordered rule stating the federal funds couldn't be used to promote religious messages in any form.

So it's not just that these kids are being taught "don't do it" it's that they are being misinformed. Girls were being told they had to bear all responsibility in keeping boys sexual desires at bay because boys cannot control themselves. Girls were being told that even if they used a condom, they would get HIV, in EVERY instance they had sex. They were being told abortions will more than likely sterilize them, or kill them.

Another aspect that I touched on in my paper, the reason teen pregnancy has gone down is a lot of teens participate in oral sex instead, thinking then they are still being abstinent.

So there are SO many flaws with abstinence-only education really it's not even funny. Some kids are gonna experiment. Might as well not make them ashamed about it so they'll actually seek out some condoms or make some other rational responsible decision.

[Boozy]

Misinformation is very dangerous, even when it is given with good intentions. Religious groups such as the ones that Myra describe are attempting to frighten young people into remaining abstinent.

But what inevitably happens when these kids find out the truth? If their entire sexual education has been predicated on a lie, then they may well consider the entirety of their abstinence education to be worthless. I can't imagine that's the goal these religious groups have in mind.

Besides - if you're hell-bent on scaring the crap out of kids, you can always take them to an AIDS hospice, and give them real information on the dangers of unsafe sex.

[AFPheonix]

So it's not just that these kids are being taught "don't do it" it's that they are being misinformed. Girls were being told they had to bear all responsibility in keeping boys sexual desires at bay because boys cannot control themselves.

Did they suggest hijab as a way of preventing sex then? *insert eyeroll here*

[ArenaBoy]

I remember reading ages ago that Sweden started a emergency condom delivery service in case a couple did not have birth control or any condoms available. I like the idea for a lot of obvious reasons but then again it won't fix stupidity. From what I remember in high school was just being taught to not have sex till you're married. I found it funny anyway. Besides, telling teenagers to stop is not exactly going to work when it comes to hormones. What the idiots in charge fail to realize that attitudes towards sex have changed dramatically. I suggest this way to teach sex ed is how the process works, ways to prevent getting a disease, ways to prevent getting pregnant, and teaching of where to get birth control and condoms. A lot of teens listen but telling them not to do something is going to make do it anyway.

[Boozy]

Sweden started a emergency condom delivery service in case a couple did not have birth control or any condoms available.

And Swedish frat boys the nation over rejoiced! For not only did they no longer need to buy condoms, but the potential for pranks increased hundredfold!

[Primer]

Exactly!
One church group in Louisiana was found to be using federal funds to teach kids that abstinence was the only way to go because Mary was a virgin when she had Jesus.

Hmmm...I would think that Mary being a virgin would prove that abstinence does NOT work.....
But if it makes sense....

[Dreamstalker]

Yeah, I'd think the same...there are a number of cases where girls who were technically virgins still got pregnant.

[Greenday]

Yeah, I'd think the same...there are a number of cases where girls who were technically virgins still got pregnant.

I remember hearing of a case where a woman when she had oral sex with her boyfriend, would save the sperm and later insert it into herself. They broke up but she got pregnant somehow from it. He was forced to pay child support and such. How's that for getting pregnant without vaginal sex?

[blas87]

Greenday, what did she have, a petri dish or a tube?

I was pretty sure that sperm died instantly outside of the penis. I mean, if it's inside the vagina or near the opening, they can go in....but if its just goopy there, on the penis or on the sheets???

I just fail to see how a girl can scoop up or save sperm without proper medical tools and storage and get pregnant.

Sperm banks and fertility doctors have petri dishes and special instruments for keeping sperm alive.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Exactly; you can't save sperm for days and then squirt it into yourself. Plus, saliva would kill sperm. The people who use turkey basters have to get the bloke to erm, express it very quickly; that's a case of non sex = baby, this lesbian couple who got a gay mate of theirs to provide the sperm and one of the women used a turkey baster to squirt it inside her. She got pregnant.

[AFPheonix]

Well....unless she got a facial, wiped some off with her finger, and then masturbated a bit with that hand.....

I won't ponder anymore on that one...

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I lived in suburban Cali until i was 14. We had extensive sex ed, starting in elementary school, which was very basic at first but got more and more specific as we got older and could understand it. We were taught that complete abstinence was the ONLY way to be 100% safe, but had all the other methods explained to us; what they were, how effective, etc. this was in the late eighties, when the teenage pregnancy rates were skyrocketing.

Then my family moved to rural Idaho, which is extremely religious and backwards. I did not get ANY sex ed in the junior high, and we had a bad teen pregnancy problem. In fact I lived on a town next to the Snake River; across the river was another county with their own toen, and they had their own school. Girls who got pregnant in our town were kicked out of school and sent over there, where most people were a lot poorer and the kids were wilder. We had lots and ltos of girls get knocked up in 8th and 9th grade.

in 10th grade, we had to take a health class, and we had one class on sex ed. Yes, out of the whole year, ONE class. The principal sat in the back of the class during the entire 2 hours of the particular class. Some girl asked about abortion, and the teacher told her we were not even allowed to say the word in class. The section in our health books on it had been ripped out. Even at 16, I was shocked. I knew girls there who had been told by guys that if they did ti with their shirts on they wouldn't get pregnant, and they believed them, because they had never even been taught how their reproductive system worked! They had no idea what was down there. And they wonder why they had a teen pregnancy problem.:(

I knew girls in junior high

[Lace Neil Singer]

At my school, we had just 1 class in 3rd year where the geriatric science teacher made us watch the periods video that we'd all seen as 10 year olds in primary school, mumbled a few words about "Don't do it til you're married" and "Boys can tell if you've done it" and handed out some condoms to put on bananas.

I got most of my sex info from teen magazines, and so did a lot of other girls. Despite all that, there still were at least 2 girls from my year who left due to pregnancy, and one who had an abortion. That girl believed that if she douched with Coke, she wouldn't get pregnant.

[Greenday]

I got most of my sex info from teen magazines, and so did a lot of other girls. Despite all that, there still were at least 2 girls from my year who left due to pregnancy, and one who had an abortion. That girl believed that if she douched with Coke, she wouldn't get pregnant.

While not 100% effective, I guess it can be a way of helping avoid pregnancy. The acidity in the coke definately has to kill some sperm. Just no way in hell it'll get it all. Snopes has a section on this stuff. There are plenty of those folklores out there. If a girl is on top, she can't get pregnant. If you jump up and down after sex, you can't get pregnant. If it's the girl's first time, she can't get pregnant. All sorts of stupid crap that people somehow believe.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It's like I always say; the problem is, it's the stupid people who are breeding, cuz the stupid people are the ones that believe all that crap. That's probably why there's more stupid people about.