Bisexuals: Real Sexuality or Just for Attention?

[siead_lietrathua]

I just want to toss one in on the labels thing, because i was rereading my dan savage book and he has a great perspective on it.
to paraphrase: it doesnt matter how comfortable or uncomfortable other people are with labels. if you see a man or a woman most people will assume they are straight. we label ourselves as straight, gay, etc so that others will know what we want in a partner. we label ourselves so we can get laid.
and getting laid > your comfort regarding labels

although for a long i have idenified as bi- or pansexual, i have not been in a sexual relationship with a woman, trans or etc. But i dont belive your sexuality is based on who you DO have sex with but who you WOULD have sex with
i also dont equate sex (and sexuality) with love. there are plenty of friends i love deeply but wouldnt have sex with. and i've had sex with people i didnt love. but thats more of an IMO

[Mytical]

*nods* I am 100% heterosexual, but to me it doesn't matter what sexuality you have. Bi, Straight, gay, changing as often as the weather..its all good. Between you and your partner(s). The only caveat I keep is that the partner has to be willing, and informed enough to be willing . Other then that .. it is ALL good.

[Andara Bledin]

It's like what ShinyObject said: Sexuality is not a switch with a few settings, but a sliding scale.

On one end you have fully heterosexual. On the other you have fully homosexual. In the middle you have fully bisexual. I imagine that it's not so much a bell curve, but that humanity pretty much falls evenly along the entire line and how they identify has to do with which label they're closest to.

As an example, I identify as heterosexual. That's not strictly true, but it's true enough that to say I was bi would be even less true.

^-.-^

[Iseeyouthere]

Bi are not attention seekers. If they are attracted to either gender, then they like boys and girls. It depends on WHO they find, not their gender.

I've questioned my sexuality sometimes. Although I always come back to the conclusion that yes I am a Hetrosexual, I often get a feeling towards the same gender and the cycle goes on from there.

Hetrosexual - Am I really? - I think I am - Yeah - Repeat.
Its an odd feeling, but by no means a bad one.

Is there a term to describe what I'm experiencing?

[jackfaire]

I sometimes wish I had been born female not because I feel I should have been. I don't honestly I feel very much a man. But because my interest in shows, and dating would have been more socially acceptable had I been.

[ShinyObject]

People love labels. They adore pigeon holes because they are nice and neat. People don't like ambiguity. People, especially people from a repressed minority, want you to stand up and declare and be counted. You can't be counted if you only have one foot in the circle. That just makes you annoying to both sides.

I've known I was bisexual before I knew was sexuality was. I'm an artist and used to draw both naked men and naked women doing figure studies back when I was maybe 11 or 12 years old. It's pretty cool that this never bothered my mother. It's even cooler that when, after my divorce from a man, I told her I was in love with a woman, she said: "That's nice."

I've been married to two men and one woman and am now back with her after a separation of about a dozen years. My attraction to her is because she quite simply is the nicest person I know. Gender isn't a factor -- it was never a factor. I was as attracted to my male partners and was and am attracted to her. I've been attracted to other women as well but nothing came of it due to real life getting in the way.

There is something called a Bell Curve and we all sit somewhere on it. Some completely straigt, some equally attracted to either gender and some completely gay. That's normal and isn't based on anyone's prejudices or preconceived notions. I'd be willing to bet there there are more bisexuals of varing levels of attraction than those who are stuck at either end. There's lots more room in the middle for all of us.

[blas87]

I love black olives, but hate green ones.

[telecom_goddess]

I just want to add that olives are gross for the most part, I"m with Smiley on that one

[Skunkle]

No issues here with gender-fluid. A-OK by me if you don't stick to a specific gender identifier - your gender identity is YOUR gender identity, and YOU are the only one who should ultimately be able to decide who and what you are inside and want to be. It may be quite hard to explain this to people, but it still counts in a big way if you yourself know what you want.

Hey, Smiley! If BLACK olives are "little tires", what are green olives? Not the huge dull queen olives with the big pimiento chuck, I mean the cute little yellow-green ones. Or the ones with garlic cloves in the middle. Either way, send 'em all to me. I'll, uh, dispose of 'em for ya, yeah, that's the ticket. Dispose of 'em in a little divided dish that separates them by type so I know which ones to ea- er, throw away together.

[HYHYBT]

It is also a bit why people at work confuse me for gay to the point they try to set me up on dates with other men. Which despite my thoughts that I should have been born female, is just not for me.

I wish my coworkers had done that...

[telecom_goddess]

I want to add that I support Mytical's gender fluidness. I have nothing against transgendered people at all in fact I find them kind of fascinating...and I admire the sheer amount of work it takes to transition, if that is what they choose to do.

[Mytical]

Don't feel bad Smiley and Ladeeda, more then a few have been surprised when I tell them I am male. For awhile on CS I had to have "Despite all evidence to the contrary, Mytical is male" for my signature lol. It is also a bit why people at work confuse me for gay to the point they try to set me up on dates with other men. Which despite my thoughts that I should have been born female, is just not for me.

While we are talking about sexuality, why is it automatically assumed that since I am a guy I am after only one thing in a relationship? Or is that a topic for another thread?

[Andara Bledin]

I(except for the liking olives thing, disgusting little black tires that they are )

I'll have your share.

^-.-^

[smileyeagle1021]

Being freaked out by gender-fluid or trannies is one of those things I never could empathize with. I match what I was born with, but was never freaked out by those who weren't.

I'm the same way, just because I honestly can't understand why someone would be gender fluid doesn't mean I think less of them for it, I also can't understand why some people like olives or menudo... each person has their own preferences and feelings and as long as those feelings aren't hurting others, who are we to judge (except for the liking olives thing, disgusting little black tires that they are )

[Andara Bledin]

Nah, Mytical's writing style is quite "gentle giant male." Although I can certainly see how that could be confusing if you didn't spend a lot of time conversing with people in pure text.

I've always been quite firmly female. I shifted back and forth between extremely girly and tomboyish for most of my life. I'm just now, at nearly 40, figuring out where my balance point is.

^-.-^