Sexual Preference & Promiscuitity

[Plaidman]

Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

(Not that I've done that. I admit to not remembering some names of people I hooked up with during undergrad, but that was...6 years ago?)

You were still told the name though, even if the alcohol made you forget it. If you haven't gotten drunk, you'd likely still know the name.

[Greenday]

With friends you know their name and feel something for them, even if it's friendly. Chatting with someone at a bar you typicallly learn their name within a few minutes, even it is going to be a quick fuck and leaving.

The others have gotten laid with people who's name they didn't even know multiple times. I'm curious as to how they did that.

Well, as I said, it's a lot easier to do fwb's when you aren't REALLY friends yet. Acquaintances is your best bet.

As far as not knowing someone's name. It's completely possible to have a long conversation without swapping names. Should a quickee happen in the bathroom or a car, names never need to come up.

[FArchivist]

But having sex with tons of different partners is just not a good idea. STDs is a real problem and having sex with a lot of people greatly increases the spread of them. What about pregnancy? If a guy manages to knock up multiple women, he's in some deep shit. If a woman has multiple partners in a short time period, figuring out who the father is could be one hell of a task.

And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just that it's a stupid thing. It's irresponsible.

1) If someone is acting irresponsibly, that's on them. Acting responsibly, I've never fathered a kid <1> nor have I ever contracted an STD. As they say in the various BDSM circles: "Safe, sane, and consensual."

2) They use DNA to figure that out these days. Or you can just put whoever on the birth certificate and if it's not contested within an amount of time specified by the state, that's all she wrote. Solves that problem right quick.

If having sex with 53 people before you got married is what you wanted, so be it. That's your choice and you get to live with the consequences. It has no effect on me so what you do is your choice and I won't get in the way. It's your choice whether I agree with it or not.

If it's my choice whether you agree with it or not, then why pass such a judgment in the first place?
When I pass judgment on something, it is then my business. After all, if it isn't, then I shouldn't be judging in the first place.

Wow. Two people disagree. I guess I'm waaaaaaay old fashion in thinking that you should at least know a person's freaking name before you have sex. Or that you should feel something for the person. Or not to dump them immedity after sleeping with them. All those are just wrong in my opinion.

No wonder I can't get dates. I don't do any of the above while others do.

I wouldn't like at it that way. Take this into consideration:

1) Anonymous sex is an actual fetish that many people enjoy, along with various permutations of it. See this map for an inspiring education! Although I've always liked this one better.

2) There are very good reasons to break up after sleeping with a person fro the first time. If you're not compatible in the sack, it ain't going to work out well.

Not looking for pity. Just curious as to how it works. What, you just grab random person and go Ok we're fucking tonight? Just don't get how it works. At all. If any of you can explain it to me?

Hrrrm. Do you live in an urban/suburban setting?

Footnotes:
<1>: In the CS Off-Topic forum, in the psycho ex thread, I have a story where I was once 'tricked' by the psycho ex I talked about. The story explains why I have no child at this time quite well, so I wouldn't say it counts. Psycho exes are psycho and thus are a different story altogether; sometimes I wonder if she was ever truly pregnant at all.

[Plaidman]

Hardly. I live in one of the most populated cities in the NW.

I wasn't aware members here had the fetish of having sex with complete strangers. Fine.

And it's sucky to break up after having sex one time. You hardly give ether of you two a chance to well, you know learn about what gives that person pleasure or not. All people are different at what gets them off, that is basic knowledge. Though since you go through people like candy, I doubt you'd understand. But if you want to break up afterards? fine. By breaking up though, it implies you at the very least were in a relationship, so you'd at least know their name and/or felt something for them.

Personally, I couldn't do that. Even with a condom, there is a chance of getting stds. And it's a fair chance that some sick people will lie by claiming their safe when in fact they have it. Condoms may be 99 percent safe, but there is that 1 percent chance.

[FArchivist]

Hardly. I live in one of the most populated cities in the NW.

Er, ok. Then I was correct; you DO live in an urban/suburban setting.
Depending on what your interests are, then I can direct you as you request. *shrug*

I wasn't aware members here had the fetish of having sex with complete strangers. Fine.

Some might. Some might not. But now being aware of it, you can now forgo being surprised by it.

And it's sucky to break up after having sex one time. You hardly give ether of you two a chance to well, you know learn about what gives that person pleasure or not. All people are different at what gets them off, that is basic knowledge.

But it's not just about giving the other person pleasure; it's about their ability to give you pleasure too. I could be great in the sack with another person but they absolutely suck at pleasing me. Or vice versa. Either way, there's no sense in prolonging the inevitable if you're looking for permanency. This all assumes that you know exactly what you're looking for and don't need to experiment. Or that you're not interested in dallying. Or whatnot. Everyone has their own personal proclivities.

My own personal impetus in breaking up if the sex wasn't up to what I wanted was simply an unwillingness to waste time and invest emotion into a relationship that wouldn't go anywhere romantically. If the pH balance of my sweat burns you, it's not happening. If you don't crank my figurative tractor and are unable/unwilling to learn to do so, there's no point.

Though since you go through people like candy, I doubt you'd understand. But if you want to break up afterards? fine. By breaking up though, it implies you at the very least were in a relationship, so you'd at least know their name and/or felt something for them.

Small correction: Went through people like candy. Being married for 5 years means I don't anymore. But I do understand. Some of those relationships were huge investments, painful to break off after 2-3 years. Others I knew within 3 days that this wasn't right.

Personally, I couldn't do that. Even with a condom, there is a chance of getting stds. And it's a fair chance that some sick people will lie by claiming their safe when in fact they have it. Condoms may be 99 percent safe, but there is that 1 percent chance.

I personally avoided that problem by making sure I had my yearly test results on hand for inspection at demand. Saves time, saves trouble. Current blood donor cards work too. And if you associate with people who are not terribly stupid about it, you can avoid diseases fairly easily.

[Plaidman]

That's why I said ether of you two. You didn't give them a chance to learn what pleasures you if you only give them one shot.

But your married now, and it's in the past so it hardly matters as much.

[Greenday]

1) If someone is acting irresponsibly, that's on them. Acting responsibly, I've never fathered a kid <1> nor have I ever contracted an STD. As they say in the various BDSM circles: "Safe, sane, and consensual."

2) They use DNA to figure that out these days. Or you can just put whoever on the birth certificate and if it's not contested within an amount of time specified by the state, that's all she wrote. Solves that problem right quick.

Condoms are great. I wouldn't imagine not using a condom if I didn't know the person very well. As far as pregnancy goes, yes there are DNA tests. Given the samples to perform it, I could perform these tests myself. It's just time consuming and expensive.

If it's my choice whether you agree with it or not, then why pass such a judgment in the first place?
When I pass judgment on something, it is then my business. After all, if it isn't, then I shouldn't be judging in the first place.

Why do I pass judgement? Because it's just my opinion and this is a debate board. I don't press my opinions on other people. I don't tell other people who they can and can't hook up with (Though if a friend is with a scumbag, I'll rightfully tell them). If someone is being safe and smart about what they do, then go for it.

[Canarr]

I don't tell other people who they can and can't hook up with (Though if a friend is with a scumbag, I'll rightfully tell them).

Has that ever worked in human history? I've tried a few times to discourage a friend (m/f) from pursuing a relationship with someone I just *knew* was bad for them. Sometimes I was right, once I wasn't; but it never, ever worked. They always had to figure it out for themselves.

If someone is being safe and smart about what they do, then go for it.

Still, referring to the activity as "whoring out" is a derogatory term. It implies everything the "slut shaming" article is campaigning against - looking down on someone for their personal life choices.

[Andara Bledin]

The others have gotten laid with people who's name they didn't even know multiple times. I'm curious as to how they did that.

I expect it would occur when people are regular attendees at some interest function. Club, convention, regular party, etc. Hell, I'm actually friends with about 30 people that I can recognize outside of where I know them from, and know some details of their lives, but for the life of me, I wouldn't be able to give a name for any of them. You can actually witness a similar effect in action on forums; how many posters do you recognize by avatar as opposed to handle? And even when you know their handles, you still don't actually know their names.

Some people view sex as very special, only to be done with a person they love as an extension of that love. Some view it as nothing special, completely separate from love entirely. Most people fall between those points. But just because someone falls to one side of the spectrum, it doesn't make them any more or less right than someone who falls on the opposite side.

^-.-^

[Plaidman]

I expect it would occur when people are regular attendees at some interest function. Club, convention, regular party, etc. Hell, I'm actually friends with about 30 people that I can recognize outside of where I know them from, and know some details of their lives, but for the life of me, I wouldn't be able to give a name for any of them. You can actually witness a similar effect in action on forums; how many posters do you recognize by avatar as opposed to handle? And even when you know their handles, you still don't actually know their names.

Being regular attendees means you still know them, even if it's minor.

People here grab a stranger, fuck them within the day, and never see them again. Curious as to how that happens. How do you bring it up even? Just go hey "Complete stranger, want to have sex?"

[Greenday]

People here grab a stranger, fuck them within the day, and never see them again. Curious as to how that happens. How do you bring it up even? Just go hey "Complete stranger, want to have sex?"

You can have a complete conversation without exchanging names. I've talked to plenty of random people at the bar without ever knowing their names.

[Plaidman]

You can have a complete conversation without exchanging names. I've talked to plenty of random people at the bar without ever knowing their names.

And did you have sex with them that day?

[Greenday]

And did you have sex with them that day?

No but then again, it wasn't my goal.

[Plaidman]

No but then again, it wasn't my goal.

Then your whom I'm asking. People here claim that they've fucked complete strangers without knowing their name, having any feelings, knowing anything about them and not having any further relations ships. I'm curious as to how that exactly works. Since you didn't fuck any of the people you only met at a bar, then you don't know.

[Canarr]

People here grab a stranger, fuck them within the day, and never see them again. Curious as to how that happens. How do you bring it up even? Just go hey "Complete stranger, want to have sex?"

Some do. Knew a guy in the army; when the mood struck him, he'd visit a suitable bar (apparently, there were a few around town that fit his criteria). Then, he'd check out the available females without obvious companion; provided one struck his fancy, he'd walk up to her and say, "Fancy a fuck?", or some variation thereof.

Now, I'd never gone with him, so I can't personally verify his claims. But he said that while he'd get slapped once or twice a night, he never went home alone.