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Don't let co workers teach you their language

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  • Don't let co workers teach you their language

    Years ago I asked how to say phrases in my co workers languages (Polish at first then Lithuainian when they came in), some simple things like please, thank you and good morning etc, occasionally I would be cheeky and ask how to say chat up lines, but I always took the answer with a pinch of salt.

    Another co worker was learning how to insult people via a Russian guy we had and everyone laughed when ever he said anything, either A> just cos he said it B> what he said and what he thought he said are two totally different things.
    I was always leary of my answers as if I was in that position, I would teach all the wrong things, imagining him brandashing a broken beer bottle in anger yelling
    "I WANT TO GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB!" in Russian

    Now on monday night, whilst captain dickhead was out of my hair for a bit, I got accosted by a Sweedish guy cos I looked the most wasted guy in the Regal, a rather large, if not largest pub in the area and quite busy for a monday at that. Most wasted, I had only started my 2nd Crabbies (alcoholic ginger beer), then when he dissapeared to the toilet I get accosted by a Polish guy who thought I was American, cos I looked American, what that looks like is beyond me.

    So the Swede gets back they get talking Polish guy's mate has joined us and we are all saying cheers in languages and I say
    "Chin Chin" to which the polish guy has beer coming out of his nose laughing
    "In my language that means 'I have just had sex'!" my bullshit alarm was sounding, he also informed me that the polish word for corner sounded like the four letter word that is slang for the vagina.
    "so you have come to England to fuck English corners then?"

    He had been teaching his mate phrases and I dread to think of what he is really saying as I asked one of our Polish women if either were true and as I thought, no they were not.

    Moral of this story, get a phrase book, although I have yet to find
    "My penis, your mouth how much?" although one did have "which one tastes the best" but I don't know how to pronouce words with bits over them.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Ginger Tea View Post
    ... I get accosted by a Polish guy who thought I was American, cos I looked American, what that looks like is beyond me.
    We're like serial killers; we look like everybody else.

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #3
      Swedish guy didn't have an accent that I could tell and spoke good English, so I just assumed he was local, when Captain Dickhead rejoined us he asked where he was from
      "Sweden."
      "Austrailia?"
      "Sweden."
      "Austrailia?"
      "Sweeden.
      and he was on J20's so how a sober man can mistake Sweden for Austrailia even over the music is beyond me.

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      • #4
        And here I thought this was going to be a very different story, along the lines of my customer who threw a tantrum (and his burger) at the counter because I'd said "sin queso, por favor" to someone in the kitchen and apparently in his world nobody's allowed to use anything other than English
        "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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        • #5
          Well if bilingual communication is key to working with your co workers, then I'm all for it, I'm not in the "You are in England now, you must speak English." camp, English is a minority language in the core work force, but it's not completely unknown to em.

          Just be careful when someone tells you that "<Your face looks like my scrotum>." is a complement in their language, if in doubt ask someone else who's impartial what does "<Your face looks like my scrotum> mean?"

          And thank you in Lithuainian sounds like a sneeze and towel (I had this verified by 3 different sources), so instead of saying thank you or Achotowel (however its spelt) I used to say Hankerchief, but the girl didn't get the joke, so I stopped doing that.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ginger Tea View Post
            Just be careful when someone tells you that "<Your face looks like my scrotum>." is a complement in their language, if in doubt ask someone else who's impartial what does "<Your face looks like my scrotum> mean?"

            This just brought to mind something which happened on a message board I used to frequent back in the day - I forget the exact details, only that one of the younger females who posted there thought it would be funny to pretend to teach us how to say a few things in her native language. (For example, she'd say that "kefjwiefwioe" meant "hotel", when it really meant "hooker".

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            • #7
              I would like to book a night in a five star kefjwiefwioe, with room service at 6am prompt.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by KellyHabersham View Post
                For example, she'd say that "kefjwiefwioe" meant "hotel", when it really meant "hooker".
                No, no, no. You misunderstood.

                She was "tel"-ing you what the word for "ho" was.



                ....


                I'll show myself out.

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