Punishment for kids

[blas87]

I love flipflops. I have had them once before in, I swear, every color.

I had a really fancy pair that my one friend broke because she insisted on jamming her size 11 feet into my size 9s.

[DrFaroohk]

I don't think it was too harsh at all. Child should have listened. Child did not listen. Child needs to learn that bad things happen if they don't do as they are told.

I do similar things with little Jeffrey when he's not listening. I'm a fan of the 5 minute time out, but my time outs require him to sit on a stool and not make any noise or get off his stool. Getting off the stool or making noises resets the clock. if it's 4:55 into it and he starts clapping and stamping his feet, clock gets reset. Sometimes be spends like a half hour in time out. (fortunately for him these timeouts are rare).

this might be harsh, and the lesson he takes from it might be "I should be more sneaky" rather than "I should listen to my stepdad", but I feel that his failure to learn does not necessarily constitute my failure to teach.

[LexiaFira]

The punishment was harsh but not just for the daughter. It was also harsh on the mother because if she is going to replace those flip flops its coming out of her pocket. Would have suggested the alternative of putting them up where daughter cannot find them. Or having daughter believe they were thrown away. Not saying that punishment should not have been given but speaking in practical terms that was a waste of flip flops that could have gone to someone else. But its money thrown away.

And the child already feels bad about lying, so unless the subject of no more flip flops came up in discussion its not something to brag about, at least not in front of your child.

[HotelKatz]

Seems like an excessive punishment.

[Greenday]

I bet it works tbh. It's a pair of flip flops, something easily replaceable. It's not that traumatic that it will cause terrible emotional damage.

[Gravekeeper]

Yeah, that was a tad over the top alright. Especially bragging about in public.

The lesson there sounded like it wasn't "Don't lie to me" so much as "Lie better in the future or I'll overreact and shame you in public.". You're going to be in for some rough teenage years if your child gets it in their head that your punishments are truly unfair ( especially after comparing cliff notes with her friends ). Then it stops becoming "I did something wrong and deserve this" and turns into "My mom is psycho, I need to hide everything from her."

[kibbles]

Personally I always thought throwing away or destroying a child's items to be a bit towards the cruel side. JMO. Sure take it away for an extended period of time or refuse to buy any new pairs, JMO

[Amanita]

^This. My mother threw away and destroyed things of mine, and it's not something I forgive. Likewise my father threatening to burn things of mine. Not forgivable.

And I also agree that bragging about the child's punishment was over the top. My mom used to do that when my sister or I messed up- she would tell everyone she talked to what we had done, and it was humiliating. I thought "Why don't you just get on the radio and broadcast it over a 100 mile radius and be done with it?"
In particular I remember one incident where my sister and I wore our sneakers while wading (at the insistence of the babysitter we went to, but I was too afraid to say so- that babysitter had a temper and I would not have wanted to be alone with her once she found out that I had "tattled".) My mom was so pissed that she told every-freaking-body what my sister and I had done. Even clerks in the stores we went to. Ye gods.

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah, crowing to everybody about how great a parent you are for punishing your kids (which you shouldn't need to do that much if you're such a great parent) goes well past punishment into mental cruelty.

^-.-^

[Peppergirl]

Yeah, crowing to everybody about how great a parent you are for punishing your kids (which you shouldn't need to do that much if you're such a great parent) goes well past punishment into mental cruelty.

^-.-^

I agree with this. Especially if done in public. It's almost like she was intentionally trying to hurt and embarass the girl.

[blas87]

My mom would get on the phone and gossip with family members about the newest horrible thing my brother and I had done (which we never did anything over the top horrible) and I could never understand why she did that, when she'd always bitch and moan about how horrible these family members were. No wonder it gets spread around like that.

My bf's mother does the same thing, even to this day, since he and his brother still live at home. His mother, despite supposedly hating her sisters, is immediately on the phone telling them my bf's latest drunken mishaps when they happen, and then the whole family starts chattering about it.

The worst thing my mom did as a kid was she'd always pick a public place (namely, the grocery store) to start fights with my brother and I. All it took was one of us saying something about a food we didn't like for her to start with the "attitude" talks and the ultimadums about how if we didn't start behaving, we'd be grounded for x amount of time and this or that will be taken away.

This went well into teenaged years, because my mom didn't learn to drive until after I'd moved out of the house, so once I learned to drive, I had to take mom to the grocery store, and she'd start with me and she'd start screaming and people would stare and it seemed the more I protested for her to please stop it please quit yelling, the louder she got. It didn't help that I had classmates working at the store, and they saw my mom going apeshit on me.