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  • Roleplaying with Kids

    My husband and I are roleplayers. Avid roleplayers. We have a house game with a group of our personal friends that we run every weekend; a Pathfinder Society organized play game that we play every other weekend at the local gaming store; and a Pathfinder Society home game that we run during the week with another couple when they're available. On a good week, we roleplay three different days.

    Recently, one of my husband's co-workers asked us if her son, C, could join our personal RPG group. C is 16 and comes from a very religious family. His mother wanted him to play with us because she knows my husband and has met most of the rest of the group (some of them also work with my husband) and felt she could trust us to not get C into trouble with drugs, alcohol, etc. We don't drink or do drugs, in or out of the game, so that's not an issue, but most of our group also wasn't thrilled with the idea of having someone so young hanging around with us (I'm the next youngest, at 12 years older than C.)

    C joined us for a couple of sessions. He was okay, but pretty annoying. He would go off on tangents in the middle of the game about some random book or movie he saw; he would eat ALL of the food I put out (I usually make or put out snacks of some kind; he would take the plate/bowl/bag of whatever I had out and set it next to him and hog everything. I actually had to take stuff away from him a couple of times so he wouldn't eat the entire bowl of strawberries or bag of chips, and pass it around to the rest of the group); and possibly most annoying, he just wouldn't learn how to play the game. He played with us maybe 3-4 times, each time several hours long. We'd have to remind him, 5 or 6 times EACH SESSION how simple rules would work. On his turn, he'd try to take a 5ft step and then charge. We'd remind him that if you take a 5ft step, it has to be your ONLY movement during that turn; you couldn't move again, or charge, or take any other form of movement. On his next turn, he'd try to do the exact same thing. We'd have to tell him again that he couldn't do that and why. He'd also make really poor decisions. I know he was inexperienced, but when the rest of the party is getting the shit kicked out of them by a giant golem, the smart thing to do is NOT say "Hey guys, I'm gonna go check down this hallway while you keep this guy busy!" and then wander away from the party. He never bought the core rulebook, or downloaded the PDF (which is only about $10 on the official website) or even looked up the system resource document (which has all the base rules available online, for free.) Every time he tried to do something like attack, he'd look at me and ask me what to do. He never attempted to learn anything.

    Anyway, he randomly stopped showing up, which was fine with us. We still had him on our email list and he just stopped responding to our emails and stopped showing up. So we took him off our list. None of us miss him. If he (or more likely, his mother, who would always speak for him when we emailed them, since she was on the email list too) asks, we'll direct him to the organized play group that meets at the game store. There are a couple of other teenagers in that group and at least he wouldn't annoy the rest of the members in our home game.

    Now, someone in the organized play group that meets at the gaming store wants to bring their little (12-year-old) brother with him to play. Argh. It's bad enough if we end up with C in that group, and the couple of kids who are already there are annoying enough as it is, but a 12 year old?

    Honestly, I don't know how to feel about kids roleplaying with adults. I reminded the older brother that many of us (myself included) don't watch our language when we play, nor do we want to. We swear, sometimes adult situations come up. I mean, we don't talk like porn stars, but we're not saints by any means. The brother says the kid will be fine and can handle it.

    I don't have kids for a reason: I don't like them. I find them very annoying. In small doses they're fine, especially if they're well behaved. Hopefully the kid brother will be. But one reason I like going to the organized play group is to hang out with and meet other adults with similar interests as ours. I guess we'll see how things turn out after the kid starts playing with us.

  • #2
    as much as you might hate me for saying this, give the kid a chance

    yeah he's 12, but I have played 12 year olds in magic that where better then me (I am about 16 years older then them if that gives you an idea) its more a personality thing then age

    that other kid sounds like someone who can't sit down, listen, and play a game for longer then an hour, so maybe he should stick to guess who or something and I know of plenty of adults like that too, kind of sad really
    I'm a happy, well adjusted emotinally disturbed person, who can't spell

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    • #3
      I'd say that with a group of adults playing pathfinder, no kids, it doesn't work, I know some kids are "mature" for their age and crap, but I know in our group we draw on life experience (mostly in bullshitting ) and have many adult situations crop up, give it a go as it's a public type group, but heel to the no in a private group.
      I am a sexy shoeless god of war!
      Minus the sexy and I'm wearing shoes.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Nyoibo View Post
        I'd say that with a group of adults playing pathfinder, no kids, it doesn't work, I know some kids are "mature" for their age and crap, but I know in our group we draw on life experience (mostly in bullshitting ) and have many adult situations crop up, give it a go as it's a public type group, but heel to the no in a private group.
        define 'adult' situation, honestly I know adults that handle adult situations worse then minors and kids

        who knows that 12 year old might be a great pathfinder player (granted I never played pathfinder, forgive that ignorance) then again I also like kids, don't find them too annoying, normally

        he has to be at least better then the 16 year old they mentioned, holy crap I am sorry but role playing games are not that one's forte, there is a decorum to it last I checked
        I'm a happy, well adjusted emotinally disturbed person, who can't spell

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        • #5
          In a public game, give the kid a chance. I know a /lot/ of kids who are great roleplayers, some of them not even teenagers. My first RP experience was with a group in high school, with the DM being 14 and having written a bunch of house rules to cover the stuff that he didn't feel was good enough in the original D&D rules.

          That kid that you had so much trouble with had issues that aren't necessarily related to age.

          Also, I have yet to meet a kid who hasn't learned know how to bullshit by the time they hit high school.

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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          • #6
            Is there any way that you can vet this kid first? For example, rather than taking him into your real group, do a quick practice run first with the kid so that you can see how he roleplays? If he's one of the fantastic kid roleplayers, then you can let him join in your real group at times. If however he shows himself up, then you've got a good reason to exclude him.

            I generally roleplay, but in written RPs online. I will say that I as a rule will not allow kids to join my RPs; partly cuz mine tend to be rated teen plus, but also cuz in written RP a lot of kids are still at the Mary Sue and Godmod stage and when I RP, I want to enjoy myself; not spend half my time pulling up a kid to remind them of the rules, and correcting them every thirty seconds.
            "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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            • #7
              I don't see any harm in letting everyone know that your gaming group is for adults only. There are many social events that exclude children. There's nothing wrong with doing that here. 16 and older would seem reasonable.

              I love children, but there is a time and place for them. I love spending time with my nephews at an afternoon family barbecue, but we don't bring them to the bar with us afterwards. That's adult time. Neither the kids nor the adults would have fun in that situation.

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              • #8
                The public Pathfinder Society group isn't mine to run, so I can't make any rules regarding adults only, etc. The guy who does run it did voice the same concerns to the older brother saying that he won't outright disallow the 12 year old to join, but that the the kid, the brother, and the parents need to realize that this is a mostly adult group that isn't going to "hold back" just because there's a 12 year old present. The older brother reiterated that the 12 year old can handle it and that the parents are fine with it.

                I don't mind giving him a shot, I just hope it turns out okay. I also hope that the older brother isn't lying, either to us about his parents giving permission, or to his parents about what the game is really about. What if he told his parents that it's some really dumbed-down version of what we do so that they'd okay the 12 year old playing, and then they find out that there's swearing, dark humor, etc and get on our case about it? I'd rather the parents themselves come in and tell us they're okay with leaving the kid with us for 5 hours.

                As for C and our home group...yeah, I'm putting my foot down next time that happens. Unless it's a kid we personally know, like one of our members' kids (which none of our current members have kids, so that won't be likely to happen) then we're going to say maybe 21+.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by MaggieTheCat View Post
                  The public Pathfinder Society group isn't mine to run, so I can't make any rules regarding adults only, etc. The guy who does run it did voice the same concerns to the older brother saying that he won't outright disallow the 12 year old to join, but that the the kid, the brother, and the parents need to realize that this is a mostly adult group that isn't going to "hold back" just because there's a 12 year old present. The older brother reiterated that the 12 year old can handle it and that the parents are fine with it.

                  I don't mind giving him a shot, I just hope it turns out okay. I also hope that the older brother isn't lying, either to us about his parents giving permission, or to his parents about what the game is really about. What if he told his parents that it's some really dumbed-down version of what we do so that they'd okay the 12 year old playing, and then they find out that there's swearing, dark humor, etc and get on our case about it? I'd rather the parents themselves come in and tell us they're okay with leaving the kid with us for 5 hours.

                  As for C and our home group...yeah, I'm putting my foot down next time that happens. Unless it's a kid we personally know, like one of our members' kids (which none of our current members have kids, so that won't be likely to happen) then we're going to say maybe 21+.
                  I still think C's issue wasn't age, he just didn't know how to behave socially

                  sounds like the 12 year old might have some experience, though I understand the parental issue (nothing is scarier then a screaming mom even the golems run from that) but also most 12 year olds all ready know adult language (using it is another matter but they KNOW it at least, not like its not heard in other places) and might love dark humor (I did at 12 and nothing changed)

                  as for C yeah 21+ is what you say, if they see a 12 year old, say its a babysitting thing more then an exception (meaning no choice)
                  I'm a happy, well adjusted emotinally disturbed person, who can't spell

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                  • #10
                    Couldn't someone roll a 42 and use their Magick Sabre and "accidentally" cut the kid's head off and cast a Non-Come-Back-from-the-Dead-in-Any-Form-Dead-or-Undead spell and forever banish him from the game?

                    That would be kinda harsh, wouldn't it?
                    "You are a true believer. Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine. Created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy more. Buy more now. Buy more and be happy."
                    -- OMM 0000

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Ipecac Drano View Post
                      Couldn't someone roll a 42 and use their Magick Sabre and "accidentally" cut the kid's head off and cast a Non-Come-Back-from-the-Dead-in-Any-Form-Dead-or-Undead spell and forever banish him from the game?

                      That would be kinda harsh, wouldn't it?
                      for the 16 year old yes the 12 year old, give a chance first then do that if he mucks up
                      I'm a happy, well adjusted emotinally disturbed person, who can't spell

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                      • #12
                        I help run a D&D camp. Kids can surprise you.
                        "Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
                        ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest"

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