to file or not file for child support

[KellyHabersham]

*not really a rant, just something I kind of needed to get off my chest and didn't want to post on CS because of some aspects of this situation*

As I've mentioned in various posts here and over on CS, it's been brought up that I should try to file for child support from my daughter's father. However, while I know that Jeremy is legally obligated to financially support Heather, there are several reasons why I'm not sure whether or not this is something really worth pursuing.

- He does NOT have a reliable source of income. As far as I know, his main source is from participating in medical research studies, but I don't know how well that pays or how often he does it. He does work on cars for people, but I'm not sure how much, or if he gets paid for doing this. (in other words, if I got anything in child support, it may not be worth all the legal hassle)

- Because my mom has been mainly responsible for financial stuff, I'm not sure how that would work out with determining child support amounts.

- Jeremy and I have never been able to agree on anything regarding Heather, and the last time I wouldn't go along with something he wanted, he throw a HUGE fit over the phone and referred to me as a "stupid fucking asshole".

- the family members who are most encouraging of my filing for child support are the same ones who've mentioned the "pressing charges because I'm mentally feeble" bit, so I can see the potential for something awkward to come up.

[Andara Bledin]

This is a very sticky situation, and I would strongly suggest that you find yourself a family law practitioner who can advise you on what would be best for you and for your daughter.

^-.-^

[DrFaroohk]

My wife never really pushed for child support from her kid's father because she knew he didn't have it anyway. Basically it would screw him all kinds of ways over and she still wouldn't get the money.

You also have to remember that pushing for child support puts you in the gestapo's computer system, which is just never a good thing. Oh, did I say gestapo, I meant social services.

[tropicsgoddess]

It doesn't seem worth it if he has spotty income but I do agree with Andara's idea of consulting with a family law practitioner to see what else you can do for your daughter's best interests (financially).

[JLG]

I don't know your entire situation but I say some child support is better then none. And just cause he can't pay now doesn't mean that you will never get the money. I get about $60 a week and it that little amount helps me so much. That is gas for work or new clothes for school.

I don't know what your state laws are like so look into agencies that will help you for free or at a low cost.

[Rapscallion]

Based on the penultimate point you raise:

If you don't file, you'll get nothing.

If you do file, there's a chance he'll pay something.

He's fifty percent of the genetic make-up - you're both parents. He should foot his part of the bill.

Rapscallion

[Seshat]

I'd go with seeing a child services lawyer, and potentially a social worker.

In Australia, there's an organisation called the Smith Family, who support poor children by making sure there's money in the family for school uniforms, schoolbooks, breakfast and lunch, and so forth. They'll support a child's education and keep an eye on their welfare (eg, help with the medical things our government doesn't cover) until adulthood.

If there's a similar organisation where you are, try to get Heather on their list. It may support her much better than what little child support her father can provide.

I don't know how helpful/unhelpful Child Services is where you are. If they're helpful, go ahead and ask for their supprt. If not, look for a Smith Family equivalent.

[bara]

It cant hurt to talk to a family practitioner or social worker. A guy should help raise his kids. It could also be one of those situations its better to just avoid.

[KellyHabersham]

I'd go with seeing a child services lawyer, and potentially a social worker.

In Australia, there's an organisation called the Smith Family, who support poor children by making sure there's money in the family for school uniforms, schoolbooks, breakfast and lunch, and so forth. They'll support a child's education and keep an eye on their welfare (eg, help with the medical things our government doesn't cover) until adulthood.

If there's a similar organisation where you are, try to get Heather on their list. It may support her much better than what little child support her father can provide.

I don't know how helpful/unhelpful Child Services is where you are. If they're helpful, go ahead and ask for their supprt. If not, look for a Smith Family equivalent.

I've not done research on every available program here, but from the ones I've looked into, Heather wouldn't qualify because I make too much money. (part of this being because they go by income before tax is taken out) However, I'm definitely looking into talking to a child services lawyer or a social worker.......just to explain the situation and see what they would suggest.