Tweet
NOTE: Putting this here because only the 1st example is political, and it's too long for things I hate....
Example 1:
I was talking to this girl on the off-topic section on a message board a couple of years ago. She is a republican who admitted living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: We need to roll back the tax cuts on the richest 2%. When they are paying less of a percentage in taxes than someone making only 50K a year, something is wrong. Plus most americans support it and even many billionaires interviewed said they wouldn't mind.
Her: Well most americans need to realize the richest 2% are the job creators, and if you roll back the tax cuts they'll have to lay people off to compensate!
Me: Then how did these "job creators" survive before the tax cuts?
She wouldn't answer, obviously. I then had to remind her that most of these richest 2% are not job creators but doctors, lawyers, CEOs etc that play golf on the weekends, drive an overpriced V12 German Luxury sedan while cheating on their wife with a 23 year old blonde.
Her: Sounds like you're jealous that they're living that lifestyle while you're living with your parents, financially struggling, single and are forced to drive a 10 year old car that's falling apart. Don't hate them just because they're successful and you're not.
Gotta love it when someone turns what you say around....
Example 2:
I had this conversation at work when I was on break. I told one of my co-workers that nearly everywhere I go, I look at this attractive woman and she looks at me with a face that screams "I'm above you." I told him it's because I'm not handsome in the traditional sense like Tom Brady or George Cloony.
What did this guy say? "You're not handsome at all, and from the photos on your facebook page you look like a computer dork trying to be a gearhead with your racing shirts and bluejeans. That's why they're giving you that look. Oh, and stop thinking that you're going to get a woman that looks the the models on your Youtube fan montages."
So according to this guy, I'm the only guy who wears glasses and likes cars. And have you seen some of those models' husbands? Not all of them go out with muscle-bound jocks.
Example 3:
I told a friend of mine that if I ever hit the lottery, one of the things I am going to do is do the "Andy Roddick method of courtship" and see if one of these 3 UK models - Holly Gibbons, Lucy Collett or Ivy Nedkova - are single, then I'll have my people contact her people and see if we can arrange a date. Blonde, Redhead and a Brunette to choose from.
Instead of saying "go for it," my friend said, "The Andy Roddick method of courtship only works if you are, well, Andy Roddick. You are not a good-looking tennis player. You'd be just some dorky white guy who got lucky in a lottery. And in all honesty, Andy Roddick got away with it because he's a successful athlete. If you tried to do the same thing it would be viewed as creepy."
Yeah, 'cause we all know that beautiful models only go for handsome athletes.
FYI: Andy Roddick saw Brooklyn Decker in a Sports Illustrated issue, thought she was hot, and called his agent to contact her people and arrange a date. The two are now married! As far as those models, I like them because like a lot of UK glamour models, they don't like they're going to fall over and die any minute due to lack of food. PS - if you're going to do a google image search, do it when you're at home as many of their pics are NSFW....
Example 4:
Same guy in example 3 asked me what my dream cars would be if I won the lottery. So I told him.
He said, "Only a single car out of that is a V6 and it's an old 80's Buick with a Turbo (87' Grand National FTW!), the rest are gas-hogging V8 muscle cars. Why don't you put a bumper sticker on each one that says I don't care about the earth as long as I get my jollies off?"
I simply told him, "Let the people who want to drive a Prius have one. I think I'll stick with a real car."
Example 1:
I was talking to this girl on the off-topic section on a message board a couple of years ago. She is a republican who admitted living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: We need to roll back the tax cuts on the richest 2%. When they are paying less of a percentage in taxes than someone making only 50K a year, something is wrong. Plus most americans support it and even many billionaires interviewed said they wouldn't mind.
Her: Well most americans need to realize the richest 2% are the job creators, and if you roll back the tax cuts they'll have to lay people off to compensate!
Me: Then how did these "job creators" survive before the tax cuts?
She wouldn't answer, obviously. I then had to remind her that most of these richest 2% are not job creators but doctors, lawyers, CEOs etc that play golf on the weekends, drive an overpriced V12 German Luxury sedan while cheating on their wife with a 23 year old blonde.
Her: Sounds like you're jealous that they're living that lifestyle while you're living with your parents, financially struggling, single and are forced to drive a 10 year old car that's falling apart. Don't hate them just because they're successful and you're not.
Gotta love it when someone turns what you say around....
Example 2:
I had this conversation at work when I was on break. I told one of my co-workers that nearly everywhere I go, I look at this attractive woman and she looks at me with a face that screams "I'm above you." I told him it's because I'm not handsome in the traditional sense like Tom Brady or George Cloony.
What did this guy say? "You're not handsome at all, and from the photos on your facebook page you look like a computer dork trying to be a gearhead with your racing shirts and bluejeans. That's why they're giving you that look. Oh, and stop thinking that you're going to get a woman that looks the the models on your Youtube fan montages."
So according to this guy, I'm the only guy who wears glasses and likes cars.
And have you seen some of those models' husbands? Not all of them go out with muscle-bound jocks. Example 3:
I told a friend of mine that if I ever hit the lottery, one of the things I am going to do is do the "Andy Roddick method of courtship" and see if one of these 3 UK models - Holly Gibbons, Lucy Collett or Ivy Nedkova - are single, then I'll have my people contact her people and see if we can arrange a date. Blonde, Redhead and a Brunette to choose from.
Instead of saying "go for it," my friend said, "The Andy Roddick method of courtship only works if you are, well, Andy Roddick. You are not a good-looking tennis player. You'd be just some dorky white guy who got lucky in a lottery. And in all honesty, Andy Roddick got away with it because he's a successful athlete. If you tried to do the same thing it would be viewed as creepy."
Yeah, 'cause we all know that beautiful models only go for handsome athletes.
FYI: Andy Roddick saw Brooklyn Decker in a Sports Illustrated issue, thought she was hot, and called his agent to contact her people and arrange a date. The two are now married! As far as those models, I like them because like a lot of UK glamour models, they don't like they're going to fall over and die any minute due to lack of food. PS - if you're going to do a google image search, do it when you're at home as many of their pics are NSFW....
Example 4:
Same guy in example 3 asked me what my dream cars would be if I won the lottery. So I told him.
He said, "Only a single car out of that is a V6 and it's an old 80's Buick with a Turbo (87' Grand National FTW!), the rest are gas-hogging V8 muscle cars. Why don't you put a bumper sticker on each one that says I don't care about the earth as long as I get my jollies off?"
I simply told him, "Let the people who want to drive a Prius have one. I think I'll stick with a real car."
Comment