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    When my ex and I were first together I was living at my dad's. I told him I had a gf (M) and she would spend the night. Well, when I decided to move out and live with M and her parents, my dad goes on how disrespectful it was for me and M to have sex in my room. There was no talk at all about it. If there was, I wouldn't do it there. We just go to her parent's house (they could give 2 shits, we paid rent). I think he found out cause he walked in my room one morning, both me and M naked sleeping under the covers cause he was printing something from his computer to my printer. I mean, not even a knock. Just flipping walked in . I know its his house but damn, even 19 (age at the time) year olds should have some kind of privacy with a friend of gf over.

    Not to meniton a while back, they (dad and step mom) would go "We want you guys (me and my step bro) to be safe about it. Hell, we would buy you condoms if need be." If we didn't have her parent's place, where would we go? We don't have friends who have multiple room, except one and she told us not to.

    What do you guys think? I mean if it was talked about, fine. I have no problem with that. But don't tell me when I move out. That sure as hell won't make me change my mind (another rant in itself). I guess it didn't occur to me to talk about it with them, but knowing my dad it would lead to huge problems .

    Oh, but he let me and my friends (whom were underage at the time) smoke pot in my room when my step mom is a nurse (tried not to do it when she was around but he does it, too).
    Last edited by bex1218; 07-12-2012, 04:29 AM.

  • #2
    Huh? Why would you need condoms? Aren't you both girls?

    I'm either showing my age or I didn't read closely enough.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Peppergirl View Post
      Huh? Why would you need condoms? Aren't you both girls?

      I'm either showing my age or I didn't read closely enough.
      I should have added, this was before I was out to him. But alas, we have used condoms on a strap-on to keep it cleaner. And it was easier to lube up .

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      • #4
        Originally posted by bex1218 View Post
        I should have added, this was before I was out to him. But alas, we have used condoms on a strap-on to keep it cleaner. And it was easier to lube up .
        Ohhhh! Thanks for that, hon.

        Kidding aside, let me read this again when work slows down and I'll give my opinion.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Peppergirl View Post
          Ohhhh! Thanks for that, hon.
          Anytime . I like to rant but I like to joke around too .

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          • #6
            Ok - now I've had a chance to read it.

            Yes, it was highly passive aggressive of your dad to say that AFTER you've moved out. The time to discuss it was when it was in the present. The fact that he brought it up afterward makes him seem petty and childish.

            As for knocking, my youngest son is still home with me and he's almost 22. I do knock before I enter his room, just as a matter of respect. Yes, I pay all of the bills - but my mom always had the courtesy of knocking for me when I was growing up and I just think it's just a matter of common decency.

            Others may feel differently, but that's my 2 cents on the matter.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Peppergirl View Post
              As for knocking, my youngest son is still home with me and he's almost 22. I do knock before I enter his room, just as a matter of respect. Yes, I pay all of the bills - but my mom always had the courtesy of knocking for me when I was growing up and I just think it's just a matter of common decency.

              Others may feel differently, but that's my 2 cents on the matter.
              I wish my parents felt the same as you. I need to move out ASAP, but unfortunately the economy isn't making it easy for me to get a decent job. The lack of privacy is driving me batty. They won't even let me have a girl in my room with the door closed, even if we're just friends. And I'm 22 years old! Jesus!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Jaden View Post
                I wish my parents felt the same as you. I need to move out ASAP, but unfortunately the economy isn't making it easy for me to get a decent job. The lack of privacy is driving me batty. They won't even let me have a girl in my room with the door closed, even if we're just friends. And I'm 22 years old! Jesus!
                A lot of parents would say I'm wrong for it, trust me. I get judged a lot. But, privacy goes both ways and he tries to respect mine too.

                It was different when he was younger. I didn't let him have girls up there, and stuff like that, but I always knocked before I went in. Always.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Peppergirl View Post
                  A lot of parents would say I'm wrong for it, trust me. I get judged a lot. But, privacy goes both ways and he tries to respect mine too.

                  It was different when he was younger. I didn't let him have girls up there, and stuff like that, but I always knocked before I went in. Always.
                  Speaking from a son's perspective, I can definitely say you're not wrong. My parents are fairly reasonable people, to be fair...except when it comes to this kind of stuff. Strangely, they don't even care if I get hammered with my friends or anything, so long as we don't wake them up. But God forbid I want to spend time with my female friends.

                  They've always been weird about anything related to sex. They never even gave me "the talk" - I had to learn everything from life experience and girlfriends. If my parents knew half of the things I've done, they'd probably kick me out, and I haven't even done that much!

                  And, like I said, I'm 22. If I was 16 or something, I'd understand. But, at 22 years old, I'm just biding my time here until I can get enough money and a stable enough job to move out. Please leave me be!

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                  • #10
                    Thank God my mom was liberal about pretty much everything. My room is my room and what I do in there is my business. As long as I'm safe about it, she doesn't care.

                    I have another friend though who would never even have a boyfriend sleep over. She said it'd be disrespectful since it's not her place, it's her parents' place. And I can understand that reasoning too.

                    If you own a house and that kind of stuff bothers you, it's your fault for not laying down the law and your dad screwed that one up.
                    Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Jaden View Post
                      I wish my parents felt the same as you. I need to move out ASAP, but unfortunately the economy isn't making it easy for me to get a decent job. The lack of privacy is driving me batty. They won't even let me have a girl in my room with the door closed, even if we're just friends. And I'm 22 years old! Jesus!
                      Oh wow, someone else in my boat My mother is the same way - my fiance and I can't be upstairs alone together (I live in the converted attic) at all. Heck the couple of times I've brought up me spending the night at his place she goes nuts and threatens to kick me out. Neither one of us can afford a place yet, not until I find stable work, so we've basically got to put up with it. His parents don't care what we do, it's all my mother's hang-ups. She has this idea that if I go and spend the night with him, it'll make my younger (15 and 16 year old) brothers think it's ok to go screw anything - nevermind that I'm 23 and have been engaged for two years.

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                      • #12
                        Yeah, because 15 and 16 year olds just learn from older siblings. Has she seen high schoolers these days?

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                        • #13
                          I'm the youngest of my family. My parents are worried the most about my own corruption, apparently

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                          • #14
                            Yeah, it wasn't until I was 23 about to be 24 that my mother let one of my girlfriends spend the night in my room because she figured she might as well. Plus the spare bed was covered in shit that she didn't want messed with. Otherwise it was "NOT IN MY HOUSE". Ironically my ex that she loved, always insisted on sex in hot tub and in my bed before she would retire to the spare bedroom for the night with my mom pretty much clueless to the fact I could have sex and be alright not cuddling all night.

                            The first night I met my gf's father before we started dating she was making me a sandwich at 4am after knowing me for a few weeks and we were hanging out and he was like whatever.

                            I also had an ex who was 21 at the time and had a 9pm curfew. I get if your under your parents roof it their option to make rules, but when your paying rent some shit is a bit outrageous. To me it is understandable to not have people they have never met showing up at midnight to hangout, but if you pay rent why can't you quietly stroll in without waking when if you want to stay out?

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                            • #15
                              That reminds me. My dad was quite psycho. I would be out till 3 am at most nights and he once kept calling me and calling me and threatening to call the cops and what not. And he went on a huge rage cause he didn't know where I was or who I was with, when normally he is asleep at the time. I told him who I was with, but he never believed me.

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