Straight women and their gay male friends

[LadyBarbossa]

Not sure how to start this one, but here goes. Since my re-employment with the evil smiley face place, I've made a lot of wonderful friends, a good number of them being gay men. I love them dearly, but I don't want to commit any social fluff ups and sometimes I just get confused. Most of them are very touchy-feely and one of my closer ones, Hurley, will not hesitate to hug, kiss, run up and grab me. If we're not at work, he's also completely comfortable grabbing a handful of boob, my crotch, and confusingly enough, motorboating. He's also slapped me on the behind more times than I can count. HARD. He has no interest in women, saying he loves us, but we lack the proper equipment that he likes. Keep in mind, I really have no issue with the touching. If a stranger did it, I'd definitely be like "
Back the fuck up, dude, who are you?" But I know Hurley.

Then there is my friend Teddy. He is just a big, soft mix of big brother, protector, and all things sugary and strong. When I'm with Teddy, I just want to hug on him and stay there under his arm.

You're probably going to say it varies with each person, but where does one draw the line on cuddling with gay friends? Gay guys, does it make you uncomfortable if your female friends sit next to you on the couch and nestle in like a snuggly kitten? Would you ask her to stop or just let it go? I understand that there is no potential for anything sexual to happen with Teddy, but I just feel extremely comfortable around him and the physical contact makes me feel safe and relaxed.

Also, what is it with some of you and the grabbing of tits and crotch? Like I said, if I know and am comfortable with you, I don't mind, but it just baffles me

[Hyena Dandy]

I don't know anything about the tit-grabbing, but on the grounds of the cuddling, I don't think most gay dudes I know have a problem with it. We like women. Not sexualy, ut it's not like we'll be like "OH SHIT WOMAN CUDDLES I'M ON FIRE I'M GONNA DIE HELP ME GAY JESUS!"

[HYHYBT]

I'm baffled as well.

[Rapscallion]

Not sure how to start this one, but here goes. Since my re-employment with the evil smiley face place, I've made a lot of wonderful friends, a good number of them being gay men. I love them dearly, but I don't want to commit any social fluff ups and sometimes I just get confused. Most of them are very touchy-feely and one of my closer ones, Hurley, will not hesitate to hug, kiss, run up and grab me. If we're not at work, he's also completely comfortable grabbing a handful of boob, my crotch, and confusingly enough, motorboating. He's also slapped me on the behind more times than I can count. HARD. He has no interest in women, saying he loves us, but we lack the proper equipment that he likes. Keep in mind, I really have no issue with the touching. If a stranger did it, I'd definitely be like "

I may be apathetically straight, but quite frankly I'm awe. This is a guy pretending to be gay so he can get free sly feels. Either that or it's sexual assault by someone who doesn't appreciate personal boundaries.

Just how hard have you punched him?

He's got more than enough interest.

Rapscallion

[Sarah Valentine]

I may be apathetically straight, but quite frankly I'm awe. This is a guy pretending to be gay so he can get free sly feels. Either that or it's sexual assault by someone who doesn't appreciate personal boundaries.

Just how hard have you punched him?

He's got more than enough interest.

Rapscallion

My thoughts exactly, IMO that is completely inappropriate. Even my boyfriend of 3 years would think it's not ok to just come up to me and just start doing shit like that, tell him to back off.

[woodensunshine]

I'm going to agree with the two above me. The fact that the guy is basically coping a feel of you on a regular basis concerns me.

[daleduke17]

I don't know anything about the tit-grabbing, but on the grounds of the cuddling, I don't think most gay dudes I know have a problem with it. We like women. Not sexualy, ut it's not like we'll be like "OH SHIT WOMAN CUDDLES I'M ON FIRE I'M GONNA DIE HELP ME GAY JESUS!"

Am I the only one who read the all caps part in Ricky Bobby's voice?

[AdminAssistant]

I've had many a male gay friend motorboat me or honk one of my boobs - with permission and usually after a few drinks. Never at work though, that would be very uncomfortable. The crotch grabbing confuses me though. Every gay man I've been friends with has been utterly terrified of the vagina.

[Greenday]

Am I the only one who read the all caps part in Ricky Bobby's voice?

Nope, I did it too.

I've had many a male gay friend motorboat me or honk one of my boobs - with permission and usually after a few drinks. Never at work though, that would be very uncomfortable. The crotch grabbing confuses me though. Every gay man I've been friends with has been utterly terrified of the vagina.

This is what I've noticed of my gay friends in college. After a few drinks, they'd get jokingly very touchy feely with certain women (Which always confused the shit out of me), but they never went for the crotch as they definitely didn't like it. And since it got to the point where I nearly knocked one out after he kept trying to kiss me, I'm going to assume they definitely aren't straight.

[TheHuckster]

It's always possible they are actually bisexual, at least if they're going for the crotch. Either that or they're perverts who make you think they're gay in order to get a feel or something. Chances are, if you know them well, that's not really the case, though.

[siead_lietrathua]

even if it's behaviour you would tolerate from a friend... the person is still a coworker. gay or straight, you two share a place of employment and if he does that kind of stuff on the job, he should be dealt with.
that aside, if it makes you uncomfortable don't let the fact that he is gay give him more leeway then you would a straight friend. just because they might not perceive it as sexual contact doesn't mean you have to put up with it. if slapping him isn't getting the message across, threaten them with assault charges. or hell, file them. real friends respect our boundaries and if he doesn't, he's NOT a friend.

[LadyBarbossa]

Oh no, he doesn't feel me up at work, lol! It's usually at the bar or someone's house. I've known the guy since he was like 12 and he's in his early twenties now. He's actually in a new relationship with another man now.

[Bright Star]

IF he's as gay as he says he is then why the need to feel u up? Anybody else doing that & it would be considered sexual harrasment. Every single gay guy I've known wouldn't dare do that.

[HYHYBT]

What would happen if you did the same to him?

[Sarah Valentine]

Do you have a boyfriend, would he do that to you in public? If the answer is no, then this guy shouldn't either.