Roomies from Hell

Over in CS Regular I mentioned that I had a roomie and husband from hell and it was suggested I bring them over to fratching.

OK, back when Rob and I lived in Portsmouth, and he was stationed on the Spadefish we had a guy from M-div, a nuke specifically. He and his wife were not wanting to get a lease on an apartment because he was a short-timer, around 7 months left on his enlistment. It would also have been pretty much impossible to get into housing at that point. Our agreement was a certain amount of money towards the mortgage, a percentage of the electric and base phone. Their long distance calls were to go on their calling card [remember those...!] and we divided up the housework n a specific way. I don't mind cleaning bathrooms, but I hate doing dishes. We each did our own bedroom, and I did the bathroom, living room, and central hallway. She was to clean the kitchen and dining room and make sure the dishes were always done.

Cut to a houseful of guests [9 extra people] and 3 months in I think the dishes and kitchen/dining room had been cleaned for the first month only. It had gotten to the point that I kept paper plates and bowls, and plastic eating stuff in my room. I would grab the pot or pan I wanted to cook with, wash it, use it and put it back on the counter where the stuff to be washed went. I have no idea what Glen and Eileen were doing. Ken was by this time off the boat and in a holding command until he was finally out. Rob and the Spadefish were off making holes in the water in the North Sea. There was a con in a reasonably local hotel [SyCon, some hotel on the strip in Va Beach *right* on the ocean.] So I had a bunch of college buddies using up floor space. Since the living room was one of my cleaning spaces, it was nicely done. We had 4 people on the 2 futon sofas, 1 guy on the futon chair, and couple in a sleeping bag off in the sunporch, and I had 2 friends crashed in the bed with me. The bathroom is immaculate as well. Eileen comes in whinging that everybody made everything in the kitchen dirty and she wasn't going to clean up after us.

I was absofuckinglutely stunned. I got up, went to my desk and grabbed an envelope of pictures and threw them at her. I stalked over, stood at drill sargeant distance [I was 5'7, Eileen was maybe 5'1 at best] and literally screamed in her face that she hasn't done jack shit in the kitchen for 2 of the last 3 months, that I have had to wash whatever I wanted to use before I used it, and they were fucking lucky that *I* managed to keep my side of the bargain because if I didn't pick up after her it would look like a herd of baby chimps rampaged through the living room every fucking day. If she didn't start cleaning up starting this fucking minute, they would be out on the fucking street sleeping in their fuckiing van.

All my buddies were amazed - as one of them commented shortly afterwards they had not hear me raise my voice in 4 years of college and 3 years of friendship afterwards ... and I was positively elemental.

What they never knew was that Glen had taken some damned set of blueprints off the spadefish when he left, and that for most of a freaking year we had NIS [before they were NCIS] staking out the house, putting infinity taps on the phones and setting up surveillance in the house opposite us. I was more than a little stressed out by this time because *my* job was working for Henze Movats and T&M doing nuke plant refits - my income depended upon a pristine security clearance and that was being fucked with.

And yes, the little bitch did start cleaning up the kitchen and dining room, Rob got home and turfed them out anyway. He said splitting the expenses was not worth the agitation.

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