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Grace and Dignity (soapbox-ey)

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  • Grace and Dignity (soapbox-ey)

    DISCLAIMER - THIS IS NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS ANYBODY HERE

    I have some things I want to get off my mind. They're a little esoteric and difficult to put into words, and I've been struggling with the right words to use. I still don't think I've found them, but I'm going to try. There's no particular reason I'm putting this here, other than that it's a discussion board and I'm familiar with many of you.

    We are very bitter, cynical people. When I say "we", I mean my country, and probably the rest of the world, to be truthful. Sure, there are some shining, optimistic faces here and there, but collectively, we have some obvious issues when it comes to interacting with our fellow humans. The very existence of CS, Fratching, and honestly most of the internet helps to prove this. It worries me deeply, but maybe not for the reason you might think.

    I am not saying that I am a shining example of this, but I do make an honest, conscious effort to allow people a portion of grace, whether I know them or not. When somebody wrongs me, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, or at least find out why. Don't get me wrong, I lose my cool just like anybody does, and I do so now much more often than I used to - ironically, since that was before I started thinking about these things. But some people - a lot of people, I think - don't even try. And it saddens me, because most of them are good people otherwise.

    Where I'm going with this is, I'm tired of people taking everything I say the worst possible way, even people I know well, who should know me better. And I'm tired of hearing people talk about other people as if they were less than people, for any reason. I'm tired of people not affording their fellow humans the grace and dignity they deserve. It's a cliche, but it isn't trite - everybody you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

    Yes, some of us are terrible people, and probably don't deserve any grace from us. But that's the point of grace, isn't it? I don't mean this in any sort of religious sense - anybody who's kept up with me recently knows that isn't really my bag anymore.

    I know, almost all of us have worked customer service and have had people treat us horribly on a daily basis. It makes us very frustrated with humanity in general. It's easy to get very cynical. But the state of humanity isn't as bad as it seems. Almost everybody I've met, once I afforded them a measure of grace to get around their issues, has been a wonderful person. Not all of them, but most.

    I don't want to be a pretentious jackass and end this on some call to action or something like that. It's just something to think about - giving people, even the ones who are rude and off-putting, the benefit of the doubt, and not assuming the worst of them.

    Thank you for reading.

  • #2
    I get what you say, and I believe up to a point it is important to give people the benefit of the doubt.

    When someone does something you don´t like, or is rude it it´s often easier to believe the person is bad, instead of thinking that maybe the person is having a really bad day.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Jaden View Post
      It's just something to think about - giving people, even the ones who are rude and off-putting, the benefit of the doubt, and not assuming the worst of them.

      Originally posted by SkullKing View Post
      When someone does something you don´t like, or is rude it it´s often easier to believe the person is bad, instead of thinking that maybe the person is having a really bad day.
      it has a name: actor-observer bias or fundamental attribution error, both articles explain it pretty well, and once you're aware of a bias you can attempt to mitigate it's effects on interactions.

      When we see someone doing something, we tend to think it relates to their personality rather than the situation the person might be in.
      Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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