The Fox Top 10 For The First GOP Debate

[Tama]

I'll tell you why, he's entertaining.

The "get the hell off the beach, you've maximized your tan" thing, the denying Jersey Shore tax credits (or whatever it was), calling out the doctor who talked about his weight on tv--if you don't pay attention to the scandals, what you're left with is the bits he lets you see that show him favorably. And if that's all you see you walk away with a positive impression.

[Andara Bledin]

And, you know, just about the most corrupt cronyist of the entire lot, and that's saying something.

How can anyone living in NJ not despise the man?

[Greenday]

I still like Chris Christie. He's pretty moderate. Just very outspoken and if you disagree with him, he's going to call you out. If he thinks something is wrong with society, he'll say it instead of being scared to speak his mind.

[TheHuckster]

How anyone takes Trump seriously I really will never understand. If he fell into a volcano I really wouldn't shed a tear.

The fact that polls find him favorable is downright disturbing. I don't think that many people even watched Celebrity Apprentice.

[jedimaster91]

Yunno, I consider myself on the conservative side of moderate, but good grief even I can't find any redeeming qualities in this field. There's really not even a lesser of evils here, there's just vast amounts of crazy.

How anyone takes Trump seriously I really will never understand. If he fell into a volcano I really wouldn't shed a tear.

[Rageaholic]

The machine gun bacon was kind of neat. Too bad Ted Cruz is still an asshole.

[Hyena Dandy]

I usually prefer bingo to drinking, but I may take that.

[Andara Bledin]

Cribbed unabashedly from the Ars Technica debate thread:

Any candidate says "abomination" but clearly is pronouncing it as "Obama nation": Drink
Camera cuts to a candidate who is smirking and shaking his or her head: Drink
"Judicial activism": Drink
Every time Trump compliments himself: Drink
Every time Trump insults another candidate as a completely irrelevant aside during some other normal talking point: Drink (normal on-target insults don't count)
Carly Fiorina says "as a woman": Drink
"Cut taxes": Drink
Every time you shout "WHAT?!?" aloud in response to something Ben Carson says: Drink
Any reference to Kenya or birtherism: Drink
New Jersey or mobster jokes at Christie's expense: Drink
Benghazi: Drink
Rick perry revisits his "three things" explanation, counts his three things on his fingers like he's on Sesame Street, and then grins directly at the camera: Drink
Candidate puts on glasses they don't normally wear only to take it off immediately before answering a question: Drink
Every time a chyron scrolls by that puts "WAR" and "IRAN" within four words of each other: Drink

Jeb Bush speaks Spanish: Chug
"Scott Foster": Chug
Moderators forget which state Kasich represents: Chug
Fat jokes or bridge jokes at Christie's expense: Chug
Any candidate insults Trump's hair: Chug

note: posted before it was known Fiorina wouldn't be in, but this can go for the losers half pre-debate debate, too...

[Daskinor]

Drinking game-

Take a sip when anyone says something intelligent, not a talking point, rant or dog whistle.

Go home sober.

[Gravekeeper]

This is going to be spectacular. >.>

The List:

1. Trump
- King Of Assholes.

2. Jeb Bush
- Smarmy Asshole.

3. Scott Walker
- A human disaster.

4. Mike Huckabee
- Crazy asshole.

5. Ben Carson
- Bigoted asshole.

6. Ted Cruz
- Machine Gun Bacon

7. Marco Rubio
- Possibly the stupidest person currently running for president. Not bright enough to be an asshole.

8. Rand Paul
- Asshole desperately trying to pretend he isn't an asshole. Blames president instead.

9. Chris Christie
- Corrupt inhumane asshole.

10. John Kasich
- Dickish asshole.

This is a sad sad state of affairs as all of these people are legitimately terrible, but if nothing else it will make for entertaining television on Thursday. >.>