Cynthia Nixon=Gay is a choice

[fireheart17]

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/entert...-1226253514790

OK, ignoring the fact that she pulled a Sinead O'Connor, seriously, GAY IS NOT A CHOICE!!!!

I do agree with one of the lines in that article though: now every religious nut is going to be using that line.

[jackfaire]

"I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn't realise I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I've been out with."

I don't think she was walking around in a cloud I think she is bisexual. I don't think she would look at a woman and never be turned on then one day decided, "You know what today I am going to have women turn me on."

I think it's offensive that she defines it as one or the other and has no regard for the many other people living in the real world.

Not all of us are celebrities not all of us live in communities where we can be openly gay and people are cool with it. Now the people saying it's a choice have "an authority" on it.

[Kheldarson]

I read this article on it: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor...a_choice_.html

And while I agree that it is an inborn thing, I also wonder why it can't be a choice for her. Everybody changes over time. She's older, undergoing medical treatment, and obviously has different needs than what she used to. Maybe yeah, underlying it all is bisexuality but maybe she just really wanted a really close friend to support her and be intimate and got that more from the woman she's with now. If we can't judge a "normal" homosexual for being born this way, why should we judge her for saying she chose her lover?

[jackfaire]

She's older, undergoing medical treatment, and obviously has different needs than what she used to.

One if you mean the shaved head thing for Medical Treatment she is in a play where her character is a cancer victim.

It's about the difference between Utopia and Reality. The reality is that the bigots do not use the "It's biology" argument as to why we should be able to over look our gay desires.

They argue that it's not biological and that if we say it is we are just ignoring that "really you just chose to be this way"

I am sure at some point a person could say it's a choice and it wouldn't be a big deal hell won't even make the news.

Think of the way a bunch of gay teens see that though, they are being bullied, picked on and harassed for something they do not want something they would love to change about themselves and are desperate to find a way to do so.

They don't hear the part where she says it isn't a choice for many people instead they hear where she says it is. They don't see this woman that overcame prejudice and became successful.

They see a woman who does it with a choice to do so and insulation from the real world.

They see their peers suddenly being, "See it is a choice" their parents telling them, "okay time to choose to be straight now"

It's not about whether what she said is right for her it's about how it affects all of the kids struggling with something that she never had to deal with.

[Kheldarson]

So the fact she's a celebrity automatically overrides the fact that she's human?

Right.

So she's a celeb. Yeah, she won't get backlash like any other person will. But I don't think her sexuality is affected by her celebrity status other than not getting backlash.

[jackfaire]

So the fact she's a celebrity automatically overrides the fact that she's human?

No it doesn't but a celebrity's words are given more weight.

Personally I don't think they should and I think she is entitled to her opinion the problem is due to her fame she will be seen as an "expert" and her words will become gospel.

We celebrate celebrities coming out in support of causes all the time because their words and their actions affect change. So knowing this yes I believe that she should be careful how she words things.

At the very least she shouldn't act surprised that people are gasping about her saying something like this.

I hate to say it but the way some people hang on the words of celebrities is very like the way a child hangs onto the words of a parent.

I would never say jumping off a roof in front of my daughter is awesome or say anything that could lead to my daughter coming to harm because my words have weight with her. I have to be vigilant and self censor when I may want to say things that my daughter would take to heart that she shouldn't.

[Seifer]

I understand what she's trying to say, it's just too bad she can't say it without looking like a moron.

What she's trying (and failing) to say is that she's been attracted to men in the past, but has moved on to prefer women. It's not that she "chose" to prefer women, her tastes have simply changed over time. Maybe in the future she'll find a man who she is sexually attracted to, and will pursue a relationship with him. Until then, she prefers women.

I'd consider her a quasi-bisexual - she's played for both teams, but prefers one over the other.

[Boozy]

I'd consider her a quasi-bisexual - she's played for both teams, but prefers one over the other.

I don't think she's "quasi-bisexual". She's fully bisexual in a very common way for many women.

Many women are bisexual but either don't notice or don't pay attention to it until they are much older. There's a strong evolutionary urge to reproduce, and if you're the type of woman who can go either way, it's not surprising that you'd be far more into men during your child-bearing years.

I've heard tons of stories like hers. Most of these women don't chalk it up to a "choice" so much as discovering a part of themselves that had always been there, but had been buried.

[the_std]

I'd consider her a quasi-bisexual - she's played for both teams, but prefers one over the other.

I am fully bisexual, and I definitely prefer men over women. Basically, the way I put it is that I find both men and women incredibly attractive, and would sleep with either one in a heartbeat, but it would take one freaking special lady to get me to date her, because the majority of my attraction to women is purely physical/sexual.

So being in her position, as much as I disagree with what she said, I would not call her quasi-bi. She is bi in a way that, like Boozy said, a lot of women are. I don't know if you've ever heard of the Kinsey scale, but basically his theory was that very few people are what you might call "evenly bi", where they're equally attracted to both genders. Here is the Wikipedia article, if you're interested.

[jackfaire]

Think of how many parents freaking out because their kids turned out to be gay will send their kids to Gay to Straight camps based on the fact that if this woman can choose to be gay then their kids can choose to be straight and they just need a little extra encouragement.

Opening up gay teens to more abuse as misguided parents tell them, "Your able to choose if she could you can."

[Kheldarson]

That might be so, but it still doesn't take away from the fact that she, personally, defines this as a choice for her. And when asked about her relationship, she stated things in the way that made sense to her.

And we want to take that away from her?

[HYHYBT]

Think of how many parents freaking out because their kids turned out to be gay will send their kids to Gay to Straight camps based on the fact that if this woman can choose to be gay then their kids can choose to be straight and they just need a little extra encouragement.

Opening up gay teens to more abuse as misguided parents tell them, "Your able to choose if she could you can."

Those parents will be that way anyway, though. That this gives them a crutch doesn't make it any less true for the person speaking it.

[jackfaire]

Those parents will be that way anyway, though. That this gives them a crutch doesn't make it any less true for the person speaking it.

No not all of them will be. Not all of them are stupid ignorant people. Many of them truly want to help their kids. If you tell them that it isn't their kid's choice and make them understand that then many of them will move on from "why can't you be straight"

But if those parents see constant "I chose to be this way" examples then they will take that to heart as truth.

For example experts said that if you swim within 30 minutes of eating you will get cramps and die. My mom believed that and enforced it for years until experts came out and said it wasn't true.

Yes some parents are going to put their kids through that because they don't want gay kids. Other parents do it because they know what their kids will go through and they want to protect them and if they can change then it becomes something like helping them get over a speech impediment that will have them mocked.

And Khel no I don't want to take that from her. I want her to say that everytime she is asked. But I want her to also take responsibility and not be shocked when her words have weight.

She is a lesbian thus that makes her an "expert" on being gay to the eyes of most people. If a gay person came out and said, "I am a pedophile because I am gay" that would be how they felt but it would reinforce negative stereotypes and they would be saying something just as offensive.

[Gravekeeper]

That might be so, but it still doesn't take away from the fact that she, personally, defines this as a choice for her. And when asked about her relationship, she stated things in the way that made sense to her.

And we want to take that away from her?

Frankly, she's a public figure making a public statement which means it and she are fair game. End of story. If she doesn't like it or the reaction to it, she could have kept her personal life personal instead of putting it in a speech. So yes, in this case, it does override her "being human" as you put it. She put it out there publically. Its her responsibility and no one can cry foul when a fairly predictable criticism emerged as a result.

She didn't say "I'm bisexual and I perfer women now at this stage of my life" ( Which would be a totally correct definition ) she said "I was straight and now I choose to be gay". Making every gay person in America cringe in horrified unison.

[Seifer]

So being in her position, as much as I disagree with what she said, I would not call her quasi-bi. She is bi in a way that, like Boozy said, a lot of women are.

I don't think she's "quasi-bisexual". She's fully bisexual in a very common way for many women.

Okay, 'quasi' was not the best word to use, but I wasn't quite sure how to describe it. The point is she likes women over men - it wasn't a conscious choice, it's just preference. She probably should have just said, "I prefer to date women over men" and left it at that.