Does Child Free have to be birth free?

[jackfaire]

I had a thought I know that there are perfectly fertile people that choose not to have children as they have no interest in having children.

There are other people that more than anything want their own children but can't get pregnant themselves.

What would people think if a database was created to match up childfree people willing to have children for people unable to have them?

[Ghel]

I don't want to bear children, but I would gladly give my uterus to a woman who wanted to have children but was unable.

[thrifty]

I think it's a good idea. I loved being pregnant, but in no way want to raise anymore children, so it would be tempting to be able to do that. Of course you'd have to worry about people changing their mind, and the stress and pain it could cause on both sides.

[jackfaire]

Of course you'd have to worry about people changing their mind, and the stress and pain it could cause on both sides.

Mandatory psychological evaluations of the surrogate parents and the parents to be to ensure situations like that didn't happen or at least were kept to a minimum.

Also provide counseling throughout pregnancy to all parties. Also both parties could decide how involved they wanted to be with eachother during and after the pregnancy.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I don't want to be pregnant or give birth; a lot of childfree people also think that way. I wouldn't even want to donate my eggs, cuz I'd hate to have the injections and rigmarole that you have to go thru for that. If that's selfish of me, then I can't help that.

[jackfaire]

I don't think it's selfish honestly. I am proposing this for those that WANT to not those that don't.

If people don't want to do something like that then they shouldn't the program would exist for those that do want to give this to others.

[fireheart17]

I promised a friend of mine that once I'd finished having my own children, that I'd be her surrogate. She's infertile, she has MRKH (meaning that she has no uterus, she does have normal kidney and ovary function though) so IVF wouldn't be an option for her. (this was also prior to surrogacy being legal in my state)

Personally, I don't feel it's selfish, it would be purely voluntary. If you're child free and you DON'T want to go through pregnancy, then you don't have to. The only criteria I could see for the infertile couple would be that IVF hasn't worked or isn't an option for one reason or another (hysterectomy for various reasons, MRKH, cancer in some shape or form). Altruistic surrogacy is legal in my state, commercial surrogacy is not. (one is voluntary and the carrier does not get paid)

[Red Panda]

I think its selfish to go through expensive and complicated medical procedures to have a kid rather then just adopt. Its not like there is something wrong with kids who need to be adopted, people just don't want to raise a kid they didn't make which is selfish

[blas87]

If I were single and didn't smoke or touch alcohol, I'd be an egg donor. There is a lot of criteria and, as Lace called it, rigomorale to egg donating, and there's no way I could risk it right now being in a relationship and on the Depo shot and doing everything possible to NOT have kids.

[Ladeeda]

I'd be an egg donor if not for the lifetime of estrogen pills and early onset of menopause I'd have to live with.

There are already too many unwanted kids, not to mention severe overpopulation. The last thing we need is for people who don't want kids to start having kids for people who can't.

It's called Adoption. It exists for a reason.

I never want to have kids, but I may want to RAISE a kid someday. Far as I know, I could get pregnant, but I'd rather adopt. Blood ties aren't work jack and people put too much importance on them.

[Amanita]

^Damn right. I remember saying that if I ever wanted kids, I would adopt. The young lady I said this to was horrified. "you don't want your own flesh and blood?"
Guess what? I am adopted! Am I less because I am not the "flesh and blood" of my parents?

[Ladeeda]

^Damn right. I remember saying that if I ever wanted kids, I would adopt. The young lady I said this to was horrified. "you don't want your own flesh and blood?"
Guess what? I am adopted! Am I less because I am not the "flesh and blood" of my parents?

Precisely. Genetics are really only good for predicting physical features and genetic illness. And what you'll look like when you get old and pruney.

Parents are whoever takes care of a child. Families raise a child and teach them what they think is necessary and right. Parenthood can be taken on, and families can be entered long after birth. Genetics mean nothing if the DNA Matches harm or ignore their offspring.

[smileyeagle1021]

Guess what? I am adopted! Am I less because I am not the "flesh and blood" of my parents?

I'd say you are exactly what everyone else is, a person, but your parents are much more than just parents, they are heroes, they willingly took in a child that really they had no obligation towards and voluntarily took on that responsibility... that is true love right there.

[ExRetailDrone]

^Damn right. I remember saying that if I ever wanted kids, I would adopt. The young lady I said this to was horrified. "you don't want your own flesh and blood?"
Guess what? I am adopted! Am I less because I am not the "flesh and blood" of my parents?

I've never understood this. It seems like such an archaic thought process, dating back from heavily patriarchal times when it was considered necessary for a male monarch especially to have a legitimate son to carry on the throne. Most countries do not abide by such strict rules anymore, and genetics now, like Ladeeda said, are really only used to determine looks and any illnesses that might crop up. Adoptive parents are wonderful human beings, willingly taking on the responsibility of another life out of absolute love. That's more than I can say about a lot of biological parents, who didn't want their kids but just had an 'oops' and didn't have enough forethought for their child to put him or her up for adoption even though he or she wasn't wanted

[Ladeeda]

they are heroes,.

Yeeeeeah... I wouldn't go that far. Being a hero implies some sort of suffering for the good of another. And if you think taking on a chld for life is something equitable to entering a burning house or climbing down a mountain to help a stranded person, you probably shouldn't be having kids anyway.

I really don't care for the glorifying of adoption (or anything). I don't think it takes an especially "special" person to adopt. Heck, many animal species will adopt orphaned or abandoned cubs and babies. Some will even take on other species, like the male Rottweiler who took care of a wolf cub whose parents didn't want her.

If anything, adoption is just a natural instict to preserve the species.