Modern kids coddled?

[IDrinkaRum]

http://www.newsweek.com/id/133103?GT1=43002

Mother (who is a writer for paper/online) lets her 4th grader ride the subway (in NYC) to get back home from a store.

Half her readership says she's a bad mother. The other half says she's a good one.

What do y'all think? Are today's kids coddled?

[DesignFox]

I think so.

I used to walk to school. It was more than a few blocks away...not terribly far, but not within eye sight of my parents, either.

My parents encouraged the buddy system. As long as they knew where I was going and when I'd be home...and had a buddy...they didn't care that I walked to the park all by myself. (I think that started when I was about 9 or 10...)

My friend and I used to rollerblade all over the neighborhood when we were 11 or so... we didn't have cell phones, either. We just had to be in when it was dark, and there were certain places that were "off limits."

I seem to recall running around the neighborhood a lot when I was a kid...unsupervised.

[Dreamstalker]

I was going to the grocery store on my own in fourth grade. Granted, it was a fairly small town and my mom was a working single parent so I had to pull my weight around the house as well...at age 12, I was watching a friend's 8-year-old who went to the same school I did (zomg two kids alone in a house!).

I definitely think today's kids are coddled/sheltered. Not saying that kids should be let loose completely, but nor should they be encased in figurative bubblewrap all the time.

Is the world more complicated/dangerous? Maybe. They way parents should deal with that is to educate kids. Give them as much independence as you think they can handle, and talk to them.

[CancelMyService]

While I do think kids are way overcoddled, letting a 4th grader go unsupervised on the NYC subway seems a bit much.

It just seems a tad unsafe to let a kid that age walk around in a large city like that.

[rahmota]

I'll agree that todays kids are a lot more sheltered, coddled and unable to cope with the real world when they do get out on their own because of the way agenceis liek CPS and social workers have tried to make everyone live in NERF world and declare people bad parents if they are not standing over their children 24 hours a day incase something might happen to them or they heaven forbid do anythign that might be slightly dangerous.

I remember when I was first able to ride my bike on my own riding all over the place as being in the country to see a friend one had to either walk, ride a bike, or get a ride. Heck i rode to the narby town when i was 12 and that was 4 miles away one way. Let your kid do that nowadays and the gestapo would come in and kidnap them and declare you an unfit parent.

as for the OP's news article I wouldnt feel safe alone on ther NYC subway so the thoguht of letting a 4 year old ride it alone is a bit uncomfortable shall we say. Her kid though and she wants to take that risk then oh well I hope for the best.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Rahmota, the kid wasn't four years old, he was in 4th grade, which would make him 10-11 years old.

And he rode it during the daytime, when lots of normal people are out using the subway. At night, in certain parts of NYC, yeah, it's be sketchy. But during the day the subway is pretty safe, otherwise those millions of average people who ride it would not.

[rahmota]

Rahmota, the kid wasn't four years old, he was in 4th grade, which would make him 10-11 years old.

DUh...oops. This is why one should learn to read english....

As for the subway I'll take your word for it as I dont ever plan on being in NYC for any reason whatsoever.

The rest of what I said I'll stand behind.

[Darrien]

I remember when my dad went to Ministers week in Ft Worth and would be gone an entire week and I was practically living alone for said week. The reason I could be left to my own devices for a week cause I was actually responsible.

[blas87]

When I was a kid, we'd all go to the playgrounds at schools or the park or ride our bikes all over town until it was dark.....and my parents never worried. And I don't think I need to remind everyone of how nuts my mother is......

But if I were 10 nowadays? I probably wouldn't be allowed out of the house for fear of pedophiles and whatnot.

[tropicsgoddess]

There's a fine line with protecting versus coddling children. It's all good if the child gets to go out and play unsupervised with his friends and gets in when the sun sets, but it becomes coddling if the child doesn't get to go out and play at all. Coddling a child takes away the self-reliance and independence they need as they get older, so I applaud the mom/writer who let her son go out by himself on the subway.

[rahmota]

Agreed tropics. there is a big difference between protecting/prepaing a child and sheltering/codling a child. Protecting the child is making sure they are prepared and ready for the trials and evils of the world while sheltering the child is just hiding them from the world and not geting them ready to take care of themselves.

[Sylvia727]

When I was ten years old, my mom let me walk to the grocery store .9 miles away. When I was 12.5, she let me cross a five-lane/four-lane intersection to get to the shopping plaza across from said grocery store. I walked to the stores, did my shopping, and came back.

When a friend was ten years, his mom let him walk to the nearest stores. He shoplifted and vandalized. After he got banned from all of them, he took to wandering the alley behind them to set things on fire. I still have no idea how this kid turned out mostly normal.

So it's all a question of the individual child, and how well their parents know them. If my friend's mom had kept her son home, undoubtly some people would cry "coddled!". But she would be trying to address the behavioral issues of the kid, i.e. being a good mother.

[Slytovhand]

yeah...gotta go with what Sylvia said...

After all - there are also 10 year olds who are little brats who need a good smack around the head (and, btw, I tend to speak more violently than act..ok??)

There are some great kids who you can sit down and have a good intelligent chat to, who will then go and do their homework....

So, to me, it's a hard one to answer, but would probably come down to how the first 10 years went for child and parent/s.