Father Teaches Daughter Lesson About Facebook

[Greenday]

I'm glad other people are saying what I've been feeling. I don't give a crap that she's a teenager and he's the dad. These are not the actions of a rational, sane person. If it was my dad who'd done that, I would be kind of afraid to stay in the same house much longer.

Yes they are. What did he do that was either irrational or insane? Prove a point? Teach her a lesson? Show her why you don't bite the hand that feeds?

[KnitShoni]

Lots of Monday morning quarterbacking and back seat parenting going on here.

People love to talk about how, if a teenager acts a certain way or displays a certain behavior, it's the parents' fault. How many of you, when your teenager has done something ridiculous, stop and say, to yourselves and/or them, "I know I taught you better than that. Where did this come from?" How many of you heard that from your own parents?

As far as punishing her for expressing her opinion: Sure, she has the right to do so. How, exactly, does that absolve her of any consequence should she be disrespectful in the process?

[firecat88]

if this was another adult, or the guy's spouse who had complained, that type of behaviour would be considered totally inappropriate.

I do not commend his parenting skills at all.

I've actually been wondering that exact same thing to be honest.

If she was an adult who had complained about her husband, friend, or anyone else in her personal life we would be calling this guy a psycho for his reaction.

However somehow being her dad magically grants him the powers of being a hero.

I'm glad other people are saying what I've been feeling. I don't give a crap that she's a teenager and he's the dad. These are not the actions of a rational, sane person. If it was my dad who'd done that, I would be kind of afraid to stay in the same house much longer.

[Ree]

I haven't even watched the video.
I saw it posted on several of my friends' FB walls.
There was a headline on my homepage when I opened my browser.
I read a description of what the video contained, and that was enough for me.

The very fact that the father filmed it and posted it was enough to make me think he was a total dick. His sole purpose was to humiliate his daughter. He succeeded.

The teen sounded like a spoiled, obnoxious brat, but I am a firm believer that their behaviour as they grow is a reflection of the parenting they have been given.

If she was posting nasty crap on FB about her parents and the "cleaning lady", then he should be asking himself what kind of values he has taught his daughter.
If she was so spoiled that she felt actually helping out around the house was beneath her, then he needs to stop and think about where that perception may have come from.

He destroyed an expensive piece of electronics that he will probably go out and replace once the spotlight is off of them.

I agree with the comment that, if this was another adult, or the guy's spouse who had complained, that type of behaviour would be considered totally inappropriate.

I do not commend his parenting skills at all.

[Gravekeeper]

Everyone complains about parents not following thru on punishments, then when a parent actually does, they complain as well.

That's not the part we're criticizing though -.-

If she was an adult who had complained about her husband, friend, or anyone else in her personal life we would be calling this guy a psycho for his reaction.

I've actually been wondering that exact same thing to be honest.

[jackfaire]

If she was an adult who had complained about her husband, friend, or anyone else in her personal life we would be calling this guy a psycho for his reaction.

However somehow being her dad magically grants him the powers of being a hero.

Why? I am sorry by saying that she isn't allowed to have a different perspective on his parenting than his we are saying she is a slave and should learn to love it.

If she were an adult complaining about a political leader and she was jailed for her thoughts and opinions because she made them known we would be calling him a dictator and asking for his head on a spike.

Somehow behavior of suppression of thought and independence is now applauded simply because he is labeled Father.

There is a difference between respecting your parents VS always liking what they do.

I talked shit about my parents. I still talk shit about my mom. They were not perfect and they fucked up. They were not and are not immune to criticism.

I will never ever endorse a parent's right to punish their child for expressing their opinion.

Key my car, your going to be working that off for a long time.

Destroy my property, Your getting a job and that entire paycheck's going to me.

Say that you don't like my parenting online, well you have a good day.

I don't think anyone is a hero for suppressing their child's individuality because it makes you feel bad that they don't appreciate what you want them to appreciate.

Someday this girl will be an adult and most likely in this guy's case she will say something along the lines of, "Yeah my parents were good at making sure I never wanted anything but it felt like a police state"

This girl's letter would have been right at home in the Things I hate section here on Fratching.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Don't forget that he mentions that this isn't the first time she's done this; the last time, she was grounded for three months. Which was when he said, "Do that again, and you get a bullet in your laptop". So, she did it again, he follows thru on the punishment. Everyone complains about parents not following thru on punishments, then when a parent actually does, they complain as well.

The shooting is probably just cuz of where he happens to live. In England or another place where guns aren't as popularly distributed, a father might use a hammer to smash the laptop.

[Boozy]

I just don't understand why he would destroy the laptop. Ground her from it. Confiscate it. Wipe it and sell it. But to destroy a $500 piece of machinery to make a point is so blatantly stupid that I can't even comprehend it.

It's fairly obvious that we aren't dealing with a rocket scientist here.

His thought process was likely along the lines of "Bad feeling! Laptop bad! Laptop smash!"

That's kind of the problem. Responding to something stupid your 15 year old did in the same stupid manner.

That's my problem with this guy in a nutshell.

"She totally started it." Seriously? I expect that sort of nonsense from teenagers, but grown adults - especially parents - need to be held to a higher standard.

[Gravekeeper]

Anyone who knew her already was a party to her dirty laundry. I'm not sure what more his allowing himself to be named really does.

I'm referring to how stupid it is to out your teenage daughter's name and location on the Internet. The Internet does terrible things to people it takes an interest in. Especially when stupidity like this is involved.

The idea of shooting being a "manly" action is rather subtly sexist, and as a woman who likes to shoot, a bit irritating over time.

Ugh, don't try and inject sexism into this. There are men with guns who think shooting things is a manly thing to do. Saying that is not sexism. Saying "Women can't shoot guns as well as men because that's a man thing" is sexism. Making an observation that there are men that think something is manly is not sexism.

[Andara Bledin]

But that aside, numbnuts names himself in the related news articles anyway and names his daughter in the video.

Anyone who knew her already was a party to her dirty laundry. I'm not sure what more his allowing himself to be named really does.

That's certainly a part of it. If he'd just tossed it in a lake or something it'd probably go over a bit better. But shooting it is a very "Rawr, I r the manly boss of house. Obey meh~".

No, it's not. It's very, "this item is going to be rendered quite visibly non-functional and non-recoverable." The idea of shooting being a "manly" action is rather subtly sexist, and as a woman who likes to shoot, a bit irritating over time.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

Except that that is what you said.

My apologies for the inadervant generalization then. Not my intent seeing as I didn't even recall making it. -.-

He answered her in exactly the same forum that she aired her grievances.

That's kind of the problem. Responding to something stupid your 15 year old did in the same stupid manner.

His posting went out to his contact list, not the entire world. Yes, the entire world ended up having access to the YouTube video, but he did not seek out views.

As someone who "Works in IT" he should know everyone would have access too it. But that aside, numbnuts names himself in the related news articles anyway and names his daughter in the video. If he works in IT, he should have a vague idea of how the Interwebs work and how stupid it is to throw things like this on it.

As for the shooting of the laptop, I honestly think that most of the issue with that is about people discomfort with firearms and not that he chose to destroy the computer.

That's certainly a part of it. If he'd just tossed it in a lake or something it'd probably go over a bit better. But shooting it is a very "Rawr, I r the manly boss of house. Obey meh~".

[Andara Bledin]

No one said she's guranteed to say stupid shit.

Except that that is what you said.

This is a 15 year old girl. Of course she's going to say stupid shit.

This guy allegedly "Works in IT" but has no problem tossing his teenage daughter out for the world to see online?

He answered her in exactly the same forum that she aired her grievances.

His posting went out to his contact list, not the entire world. Yes, the entire world ended up having access to the YouTube video, but he did not seek out views.

As for the shooting of the laptop, I honestly think that most of the issue with that is about people discomfort with firearms and not that he chose to destroy the computer.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

I keep seeing comments about how her being young means that she's guaranteed to say stupid shit, and really, that's about as asinine as any other gross generalization.

No one said she's guranteed to say stupid shit. Only that she's 15, so its not surprising that she might speak before she thinks. As a parent, you need to understand that your children are not adults yet and take the shit they say with a grain of salt. Especially teenagers.

I remember being 15 quite well, and I'm still female, and I absolutely never talked shit about my parents. They both worked full time jobs and spent a hell of a lot more time doing what they were responsible for than I ever did.

So what? I remember being 15 too and while I never talked shit about my mom, I certainly did say stupid shit on other topics. Because I wasn't old enough to master thinking before I spoke just yet.

He notes that he posted the response on YouTube because Facebook's upload sucks (which it does) and that the message was aimed at all of the people that she had sent the original diatribe to, and the rest that she specifically excluded from said diatribe so they would understand what had happened.

This guy allegedly "Works in IT" but has no problem tossing his teenage daughter out for the world to see online? This is my problem here and why I say this guy is just as immature as she is. This is a grown, adult man. Yet he felt the need to go before the entire world and defend himself from something mean his 15 year old daughter said about him on Facebook. Then demonstrate his manly control over her by shooting up her labtop in front of the world.

Grow up dude.

[Andara Bledin]

I keep seeing comments about how her being young means that she's guaranteed to say stupid shit, and really, that's about as asinine as any other gross generalization.

I remember being 15 quite well, and I'm still female, and I absolutely never talked shit about my parents. They both worked full time jobs and spent a hell of a lot more time doing what they were responsible for than I ever did.

Anyway, another article for the curious. This one is at the Daily Mail and includes a transcript of the post and link to the video as well as a lot more responses from the father.

What is it with parents posting their punishments online?

He notes that he posted the response on YouTube because Facebook's upload sucks (which it does) and that the message was aimed at all of the people that she had sent the original diatribe to, and the rest that she specifically excluded from said diatribe so they would understand what had happened.

I'm wondering if the pet story is true or not. If it is, then I suppose seeing a giant wall of text would make the father curious enough to read it. If the dog story isn't true, I can also see a parent getting suspicious of their teenage daughter blocking them from facebook, and wanting answers.

I have no reason to believe the dog story isn't true. Supposedly, the original post from her blocked the groups "family" and "church" from seeing it, but included everybody else. Which is a fairly common bonehead maneuver from Facebook posters.

The dog's account was never added to the "family" group, and thus didn't get excluded, so he could see the update in all it's glory.

Note to all would-be Facebook ranters: Don't exclude people you don't want to see something, because you will always forget or miss someone.

Honestly, I can totally understand why he did what he did with the laptop. There is nothing quite so viscerally affecting as seeing something you've come to rely on having being destroyed. The father remarked that she is currently on her fourth cell phone because the expense means nothing to her as every penny she's ever had was given to her. He applauds her ability to save up for the things she wants, but thinks it's time she learned the value of the money she's saving.

^-.-^

[jackfaire]

This girl is damn lucky to be 15 in 2012 where her father is catching hell for destroying property. Had she been 15 when my mother was growing up, no one would bat an eye if she was publicly spouting off on her parents and her parents decided to belt her.

My parents used to gripe like this in the "Lucky not to get belted" times and their parents would have smacked the shit ouf of anyone trying to control how my parents felt.

And in what world is her father catching hell? Most people like the majority are applauding him as a hero. Which scares me. Quite honestly it does.

I mean he overreacted to an imagined insult. She complained about her life in one of the politest ways I have ever heard. My rants about my parents had more fire than that. The one thing that she said as negative about them was them making her fetch their coffee which my parents did too and I gotta say if you have your kid fetching you things not because the kid happens to be going to the same place but because you sent them that is lazy.