Overbearing non-friends

[kiwi]

I have had trouble in the past with obsessive friends. Ones who get WAY too clingy and demand to spend every minute with me. The most scary was a girl with borderline personality disorder who actually made me fear for my life.
When I finally got away from her we crossed paths a few years later and she blamed me for everything that had gone wrong in her life (I mean everything).

It has made me fairly wary of making new friends and I thought I had avoided that sort of trouble completely until I logged into another forum I use the other day and found a thread about me from a poster on it who I met briefly in real life twice. I haven't spent more than 4 hours in this persons company. Once was 3 years ago, the other time was mid last year. I haven't seen her or talked to her much at all in the last year. The other people who went to coffee with us disliked her SO much they never spoke to her ever again. She was really unpleasant to be around.

The thread was how we had been GREAT friends for years and talked on a variety of topics (odd detail to include) and how she had given me all this help and all of a sudden I had cast her off and was a nasty person and a user.

The help she had given me was checking on a logistics system at work for an item that had been shipped for me and giving me one email of advice. I sent her a big bunch of flowers and a note to say thank you. She tried to add me to facebook a week or so ago and I deleted the request so I guess that was the straw that broke the camels back.

She basically said she was heart broken and couldn't get over my treatment of her... while she didn't name me in the thread, she gave enough details that 95% of people could identify me and I got emails and txts about it almost straight away asking me what the heck was going on.

I was in class when this went down and came home and was left scratching my head. I have never been "friends" with this person other than the occasional interaction on the forum we both belong to and two coffee meet ups with that group. We did chat privately a few times, no more than anyone else in the group and I did have an issue with her posting on any thread I started with "WE SHOULD DO COFFEE AGAIN"

I have no idea where she thought we were friends, or where my "rejection" came from. You can't get rejected as a friend by someone who isn't your friend.

I messaged her with a very firm statement that we were not friends and I didn't appricate the thread and she sent back a nasty email about how I am the worst friend ever.

Im not really asking advice I just think its so freaking odd that she was so angry that I didn't want to be her friend. I have had plenty of people who don't want to be my friend and I shrugged it off and moved on.

[Aethian]

Take it to the Mods and have the thread deleated if they can.

[Boozy]

I use to tend to attract these sorts of people too. I believe it's because I came across as cold and distant, perhaps a little bitchy. I was virtually unapproachable for several years of my young adult life. The only people who would approach me had to be incredibly aggressive and almost psychopathically immune to fear of rejection. Crazy, in other words.

I'd hang out with these people one or two times, realize they were nuts, and stop calling them. But I'd be receiving phone calls and e-mails from them for years. I had one guy call me from the airport, about to get on a plane to see me, after I had not spoken to him in over a year. He got extremely angry when I told him that I would not be meeting him at the airport, he would have nowhere to stay when he got here, and he needed to lose my number.

I have some other doozies, too. Maybe I'll share sometime.

Anyway, after years of working in customer service, my default expression and body language is now very approachable. I've noticed that in public, I smile like a goddamned moron all the time, whether I'm happy or not. My conditioning can be a little disturbing to think about, but the upside has been that I make so many friends now, good friends. The crazies have started leaving me alone in search of more socially isolated individuals.