Women's Fault for not "Being Women"

[AmbrosiaWriter]

Okay, yes, I know this is from Faux Noise and, personally, I started laughing about halfway through. I still think it's something interesting to discuss.

Men becoming less interested in marriage is the fault of women not being real women.

Yup, you read that one right.

My opinion? Jerks. A woman is not a "real woman" just because she decides to fulfill the traditional roles of mother. The idea that I am not a woman because I decided to not fulfill those traditional roles is insulting, but what can I expect from Faux Noise?


Disclaimer:
Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who enjoy being the homemaker, the mother, the caretaker, etc. All the more power to them, and I wish them every happiness in that life choice.
My miff is with people who expect and demand that all women be this way, I have an equal amount of "miff-ta-tude" with women/men expecting and demanding all women be career oriented and "Miss Independents," shunning all men and any help from them.

[crashhelmet]

This is an interesting way tot take their "War on Women." They're basically saying "It's YOUR fault that your life isn't perfect. If you'd just submit to your man and learn your place, you'd be happy."

Personally, I prefer strong, independent women. While my already deemed sexist upbringing and belief system inspires me to want to take care of and provide for my future Mrs. Crashhelmet, I don't want someone completely dependent on me.

If she chooses to stay home and play the Mrs. Cleaver role, then so be it. If she wants to work, then let her work. If she makes more than me, that's great too. Hell, I'd love to find me a sugarmomma so I can go back to teaching full time.

What I can and will say, from my own experience, that almost supports the article is that most women I've met here in Vegas that have their degrees and make large sums of money want someone in their same class, if not higher.

Their standards are raised, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it limits their self-allowed options.

[HYHYBT]

After the title, I'm more than a little relieved this isn't a rant about transgendered people.

[Seifer]

Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees.

Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there more women than men in the U.S.A? Why are those figures shocking?

Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

So, women had their own pedestal, but it was below the men's pedestal. Then, women pushed men off their (higher) pedestal, because they were "taught" to believe that it was rightfully theirs.

Why is it so hard to accept that neither sex is better than the other? We should be equals. THAT'S what it means to have a good relationship - everyone is equal and takes equal responsibility.

Sorry, but I don't want to be in a relationship where my boyfriend/husband thinks he's somehow better than me, or better able to provide for me. I'm perfectly able to provide for myself, thank-you-very-much. I'm not a housewife by any means - I hate chores and a clean house is not one of my top priorities. I also don't want kids anytime soon. Does that mean I'm not "taking my rightful place" as the submissive woman? I'm somehow fine with that.

[mikoyan29]

With the stagnation of people's wages, what do they expect? In order to maintain the same lifestyle of their parents (or grandparents), both people in the marriage have to work. Maybe people in the upper middle class or upper class have the luxury of the woman staying at home but not many other families do.

[Bloodsoul]

The only reason I'm "less interested in marriage" is because, in my present state, I know I'd make a terrible husband.

[Panacea]

There's nothing new about this.

There's been a trend for awhile of men seeking foreign wives under the presumption that they're more "traditional", ie more likely to be submissive in the relationship. I know several men who ask why they should get married and give up half of everything they own to the woman.

Which might be a reasonable question if it weren't for the fact that in many cases the woman brings as much into the marriage as the man does, and she risks losing half of what SHE has to the man.

When I got divorced, my ex-husband could legally have sued me for alimony, and he might have gotten it: my income was quite a bit higher than his. It probably never occurred to him to do that since that's not the typical male response to divorce (and we did manage to part amicably). But he could have.

Sooner or later we'll run out of countries with women desperate enough to submit themselves to men to gain a stable lifestyle, and men will wake up and realize they too have rights in a divorce, and the courts will wake up and realize that yes, women can support themselves just fine on their own and all this silliness will go away.

[hinakiba777]

I was reading an article somewhere, and I can't seem to find a copy online, that said that ideally men should be with women who are smarter than they are. If the man has a Bachelor's the woman should have a Masters or two bachelors if not a Phd. The reasoning is that women control the emotional stability of the relationship, and by having the intellectual upper hand she can ensure a happier marriage. I really wish I could find the article because it explains it much better than I just did, and doesn't sound so silly.

But honestly men and women really need to see each other as equals. There are so many people I know who ask me if I will quit my job when I get married. Barring the fact I'm not even in a casual relationship right now, my answer will always be no. I have spent way to much time, energy, and money working on my degrees. I'm not going to throw away my career just because I have a ring on my finger.

As others have said, if someone decides, man or woman, to put aside their career in favor of being a stay at home parent, more power to them.

A woman is not less of a woman just because she chooses to be self-sufficient and well-educated. One is not less feminine just because they aren't a simpering submissive.

When and if I get married I hope that the man I choose wants to treat me as his equal.

[draco664]

Okay, yes, I know this is from Faux Noise and, personally, I started laughing about halfway through. I still think it's something interesting to discuss.

Men becoming less interested in marriage is the fault of women not being real women.

Yup, you read that one right.

My opinion? Jerks.

I'd be hesitant to ascribe a four word summary to the many men interviewed and then lump them all together as jerks. There was probably hundreds of people with different reasons for not wanting to get married and the author decided to summarise it in the most contentious way.

It worked. It got a strong reaction from you.

For me, I think a major issue is that of equality between the sexes. Because the moment you decide that everyone should be equal, then any difference between them is ripe for resentment. Unless you're both working the same hours, earning the same money and doing exactly 50% of the housework each, you're not 'equal'. Pretending you are is not going to work.

I don't think a marriage should be a joining of 'equals' so to speak. I think it should be a partnership. My wife and I compliment and support each other, our life goals and ambitions are not contradictory.

(We've been together since 1994 in some way or another, married mid-2001. I was a teenager when we started going out.)

We have moved country to the detriment of my wife's career because it was great for mine. I did a job I hated for a long time to support her decision to take 5 years off work to look after our children until they were old enough for kindergarten. We are not equal, but we respect each other and sacrifice for each other.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I wasn't calling the all men uninterested in marriage jerks. I was calling anyone who deems a woman who is self-sufficient and well educated, and wants to remain that way, "not a real woman" jerks (and ignorant.)

[wolfie]

Regarding "putting women on a pedestal", I'd wonder about the motives of a man who did that. Is he doing that in order to look up her skirt?

[Duelist925]

Regarding "putting women on a pedestal", I'd wonder about the motives of a man who did that. Is he doing that in order to look up her skirt?

Or to cop a feel while helping her up there?