The Dreaded "Nice Guy."

[Ginger Tea]

Those that do need to watch video's like that one are probably the type that would never actually spend the time to listen and understand what is being said, so yeah do we need the billionth vlog on the subject?
Perhaps not, but as that is the only one I personally have seen, maybe sooner or later some youtube celebrity that 'nice guy's' watch will do a video and then they might watch it cos it's by celeb they watch.

I gave up trying to get captain Dickhead out of this mindset, or atleast the 'buying love' aspects I posted about before, I told him he was going about it all wrong, she told me that she had told him numerous occasions she was not interested in him romatically yet he persisted.

A term I stumbled accross recently is 'girlfriend zoned' the more correct phrasing of 'friendzone'.

[Ladeeda]

I've heard it as being Fuckzoned.

[Greenday]

I've heard it as being Fuckzoned.

Interesting. I like this phrase and I shall be using it.

[siead_lietrathua]

just for a small opposing vote, there are some guys out there that ARE nice guys that do get dumped for douche-bag guys. i know a few. they are very much the respecful, door opening, steriotype gentlemen with women they are interested in, and say from the beginning they are interested in a relationship, to which the women agree. but they get dumped constantly for abusive ex's or drunken party guys.
so yes, genuinely nice guys that are looking to DATE women (not just fuck) do complain about being friendzoned and frankly, they can and should.

i think this thread should stop equating casual-fuck with relationship. lots of friendzoned guys want long term committed relationships with the objects of their affection and NOT just another notch on the bedpost. assuming men only want to date to fuck is rude to men. the men i know complain about not being in a relationship, not about not fucking.

[Ladeeda]

They should take a close look at the kind of women they're dating.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

so yes, genuinely nice guys that are looking to DATE women (not just fuck) do complain about being friendzoned and frankly, they can and should.

.

No, they shouldn't.

It's her right to not want to date them. Them complaining about their target of affections not wanting to date them is petty and immature.

They should just move the hell on or look at what they are doing that is causing them to be "friend zoned" again and again rather than being looked at as a option for dating.

Because guess what? If they're getting "friend zoned" again and again by different girls, it's not the girls who have a problem. It's the guy.

Also, once again, this thread ISN'T about genuinely nice guys happening to take a wrong approach to getting a girl friend.

This is about guys claiming to be "NICE" when really they are arrogant, entitled assholes who think that "being nice" is the way to get fucked. When they don't get fucked, they throw huge hiss fits and piss and moan about the girl who "won't give them the fuck their earned" (paraphrased.)

So everyone bringing in the "argument" of, "Oh but there are REAL nice guys out there and they don't think the are entitled to sex" are missing the entire point of the thread (either willfully or obliviously) and are just pontificating to see the text they've typed themselves.

[siead_lietrathua]

No, they shouldn't.

It's her right to not want to date them. Them complaining about their target of affections not wanting to date them is petty and immature. .

they don't. they complain about women leading them on/ saying they want to be with them and then leaving them for guys that ARE not nice.
i said

and say from the beginning they are interested in a relationship, to which the women agree. but they get dumped constantly for abusive ex's or drunken party guys.

also, the thead has been back and forth over guys being nice or fake nice a few times from what i read, and in the OP contained the question

So what does this mean for genuinely nice guys/girls? The ones who don't equate being "nice" with getting special points they can save up and eventually cash in for some naked hump time?

so i don't think it was a derail or

just pontificating to see the text they've typed themselves.

@Ladeeda yeah, i keep telling them to stop dating damaged girls but they seem to keep getting stuck with the crazy ones. something about the area i live in draws in crazy like flies to honey.

[Ladeeda]

So lemme get this straight:

The women in question agree to be in a relationship with these fellows. They enter said relationship. Then end said relationship.

That's not leading anyone on. That's trying and finding that no, it's not working.

That IS giving someone a chance.

Agreeing to date isn't a lifelong dedication. These guys aren't owed a minimum number of dates.

[siead_lietrathua]

so the guys can't complain period about being dumped for assholes? because i thought bitching over hurt feelings was perfectly acceptable in modern society.
some nice guys ARE nice. and i think they anyone has a right to be upset over being dumped. bitching about losing a relationship or a potential relationship doesn't mean a nice guy isn't a nice guy any longer. it just means that they actually have, ya know, feelings, that were hurt.
if i was dumped by one of my partners i'd be bitching about it too. doesn't mean i'm still not awesome.

guess the point i'm trying to make is, some nice guys ARE nice guys. sometimes it's the girls that are being assholes.

[TheHuckster]

so the guys can't complain period about being dumped for assholes? because i thought bitching over hurt feelings was perfectly acceptable in modern society.
some nice guys ARE nice. and i think they anyone has a right to be upset over being dumped. bitching about losing a relationship or a potential relationship doesn't mean a nice guy isn't a nice guy any longer. it just means that they actually have, ya know, feelings, that were hurt.
if i was dumped by one of my partners i'd be bitching about it too. doesn't mean i'm still not awesome.

guess the point i'm trying to make is, some nice guys ARE nice guys. sometimes it's the girls that are being assholes.

I think in cases like these, where women are constantly choosing the wrong guys, and the guys are constantly using the wrong methods to find women (or are simply choosing the wrong women), there is some blame on both parties.

If a guy constantly gets rejected time after time, I don't think there is any debate that something is wrong in what he is doing. Maybe he's choosing the wrong women. Maybe he's being a creep and doesn't even know it, or maybe he's simply finding women who are, frankly, way out of his league.

On the other side, if a woman constantly gets into horrible and sometimes abusive relationships over and over again, then something is wrong with what she is doing.

Now, this doesn't mean the guys and the girls in these situations belong to eachother. However each will find better luck with their romantic lives by changing their methods of finding whomever to have a relationship with.

[Ladeeda]

Bitch about being dumped, sure.

Moan about how they're oh, so victimized and being led on, no.