I really don't get reddit some times

[Ginger Tea]

This was not a main part of Reddit or any advice animal meme image page or even a thread about a nasty end to a dating related reddit, so it came out of the blue.

Someone posted that they had been sexually assaulted in their sleep (the act woke them up) by someone whom the OP had considered a friend up until that point and s/he was staying over at his or her place (neither gender was stated but I am assuming the assaulter to be male).

My first and I assumed only post was contact the local police and as he was military the MP's too. Someone questioned the circumstances for the sleep over, different rooms or him on a couch and he sneaks in for a feel, the OP said it was fingers used, or did she have a small apartment and he ended up sharing the bed and got 'mixed signals'

to which I replied

Although radically different, the outcome is still the same, if you have no alternate sleeping arrangements (I have seen some [redacted] apartment vlogs and they are shoe boxes) being in the same bed as another person does not grant consent, more so if the other person is asleep at the time.

currently two people on Reddit seem to think that being in the same bed, it is an OK thing to do.

Although it's only 2 people on Reddit, the sub is small so that ends up being a larger percentage and worrisome.

Tempted to call em out on it, but I thought I would post here instead.

EDIT: re read OP's text Army guy was male.

EDIT: I found out I omitted the fact it was in down votes not actual replies saying anything of the kind, but down voting "Do not sexually assault a sleeping person" says to me that you are ok with a sleeping person being sexually assaulted and worse you might be the kind that would.
And it now rests at -3 so even more rapey redditors yay

[Andara Bledin]

Not a defense of sexual assault, but it can sometimes be hard to tell if someone is asleep. My fiance tells me that my responses while asleep are almost identical to my responses while awake, just a bit muted.

That said, if he didn't ask and she didn't say yes, that is in no way acceptable, regardless of sleeping arrangements.

[Ginger Tea]

I have seen screen grabs of reddit posts which also show how many plus and minus votes have been cast, but I can not see where it is in the preferences.

Normally I don't care too much about down voting, sometimes it's just the person above or below my post and their "I do not agree with you" button even though most sub reddits say don't do that it's not facebook etc.

But when you have +7 and -9 you can see that 7 people hit the + but as it stands I only see the final sum (currently -3 so 4 down votes) I am curious to see how many if any + were added cos that might make the number even scarier.

<10k subscribers and 100 ish active I am really getting worried about those down votes meaning.

It's like seeing an opinion poll and finding out 5% think sexual assault of a sleeping person (whom you are not in a relationship with no less) is an acceptable thing.

[Lace Neil Singer]

You'd be surprised. I once saw a statement by someone that apparently, having sex with a dead person is fine cuz it's not like it hurts them or nothing.

Then again, the place I saw that statement was on 4chan.

[Ginger Tea]

4chan I expect nothing less.

Half the time its probably people one upping another and pinches of salt etc, I saw screen caps of text and images of what may have been a real infant, even at 100% the actual image was 25% of what the screen cap really was so the text was illegible and the image although disturbing could not be made out as real or just heavily gored up medical doll.

[Ginger Tea]

The OP is a throw away account but has recently posted that he is a heterosexual male in a single occupancy student dorm so probably the Army guy was sleeping on the floor.

I want to post a reply but I don't know how to word it and also I would rather send it as a PM than to the thread but as it's a throw away account it might never get read.

The fact of the matter is the world is in denial about men ever being the victims of sexual abuse just perpetrators, just like women can not be paedophiles because it would go against their maternal instinct, yet I know someone who was abused by one of his mothers female friends, I was more uncomfortable with this revelation as it happened over drinks in a semi crowded beer garden and all I could think about was someone might hear the words "child abuse" and imagine that we were talking as perpetrators and not a victim getting it off his chest.

Upon reading that the guy might not face anything if charged, though I have no idea if this is just people spouting or actual past experience of American military abroad, is wondering if he should still pursue it, I think he should, but that nagging thought of "men can't get raped" would probably come into the fore at the police station and any talks of "We'll look into it" would translate into the case file ending in the circular filing cabinet.

Edit: someone else posted a far better piece than I could and is in the Army too so knows more about who handles what between host nation and the Army, but he like me, is unsure how well male on male assault is treated.

[HYHYBT]

My fiance tells me that my responses while asleep are almost identical to my responses while awake, just a bit muted.

That could be taken as an insult, if you really wanted to...

I wouldn't take up and down votes so seriously. You don't know why anyone voted the way they did unless they tell you. Some downvote anything they disagree with; others might agree with what you see as the meaning but not like the way you put it or some minor point, others will downvote *anything* someone says if they've taken a dislike to that poster for any or no reason, some will see it as a bad post just because it already has a negative score, and so on. I've downvoted posts I meant to upvote because the buttons were backwards from where I was expecting them or looked different, and I've at least once downvoted someone because I was trying to click on something else entirely and the page moved.

As a practical matter, unfortunately, reporting the assault in that situation might well only cause trouble for the victim. So that might be one reason.

[Ginger Tea]

I agree that their Karma thing is BS and most of my posts that day in that sub were zeroed or negative, hell it might have been a page bomb but my other posts in other threads had garnered enough votes for me to not notice one down.

Both my posts are now in positive numbers, but I do not know nor do I see an option to find out if there are still a concerning number of down votes.

Ordinarily I don't care if I get -5 for saying something against the grain or if I ask a question that I do not know is taboo to ask, it was the whole "down voting the post that says something is bad means I think it is a good thing." vibe I got.

[the_std]

Keep in mind that any post will automatically generate downvotes - Reddit has a system in place that will give a certain amount of downvotes based on the ratio of upvotes you get. It's meant to keep things balanced, but a lot of people get confused by it.

Other than that, if people are downvoting you, just remember: the population of Reddit, especially on the large sub-reddits, is huge, varied and predisposed to being contrary. They like to screw with people just to screw with people. Don't take them seriously.

[EricKei]

If you start a thread there, the info box in the top right will show your ups and downs for the thread itself (but not for a specific comment...I think).

[Ginger Tea]

On a totally unrelated note, I posted something nothing heated or owt and I got a rather civil reply, nothing news worthy there.

It was a throw away account called Fuck_[my reddit name] why s/he needed to make an alt specifically targeting me I do not know, what I posted was nothing news worthy and his reply the same, although I did reply clarifying my initial point as mine was based off assumptions I had made over time.

should I feel special that I got my first anti alt within 6 or so months of being on reddit?