Microsoft lays off 18000 employees with dumbest letter ever

[Crazedclerkthe2nd]

The entire letter can be found here in its entirety, but it opens with:

Last week in my email to you I synthesized our strategic direction as a productivity and platform company. Having a clear focus is the start of the journey, not the end. The more difficult steps are creating the organization and culture to bring our ambitions to life. Today I’ll share more on how we’re moving forward. On July 22, during our public earnings call, I’ll share further specifics on where we are focusing our innovation investments.

The first step to building the right organization for our ambitions is to realign our workforce.


And then goes downhill from there.

Needless to say, this layoff notice showcases everything wrong with corporate America. I hate all the marketing speak period but that crap is supposed to be reserved for your clients, NOT your employees. Trying to act all "strategic" and writing all kinds of flowery meaningless prose that does nothing except impress out of touch corporate executives is no decent way to let go of employees.

In fact, it's a kick to the nuts on the way out.

[crashhelmet]

I found out last week that I'm getting laid off at the end of next year. We didn't get any fancy email like this. They do, however, tend to do something like this when they close call center.

For us though, it's just my specific team. We support a specific technology in our nationwide network and we're in the process of upgrading it all. Once that's done, they're going to run support out of the home office.

So instead of a fancy email like this, we were given a document that gives our separation date and how much money we'll get if we stick around for it in a combination of severance, stock, and "retention bonuses."

[HYHYBT]

A year and a half is at least plenty of time to plan what to do next.

[s_stabeler]

is there any reason why a company can't just say " Unfortunately, you are being laid off because of X. You will recieve a redundancy payment of X." Then giving details of any help that is being given for you to find a new job.

I mean, ok, dress it up to the public however, but there really sin't any way to make employees feel any better about losing their job.

[Racket_Man]

Last week in my email to you I synthesized our strategic direction as a productivity and platform company. Having a clear focus is the start of the journey, not the end. The more difficult steps are creating the organization and culture to bring our ambitions to life. Today I’ll share more on how we’re moving forward. On July 22, during our public earnings call, I’ll share further specifics on where we are focusing our innovation investments.

The first step to building the right organization for our ambitions is to realign our workforce.


.

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Would it be wrong of me to yell BINGO!!!!!!!! at this moment

[lordlundar]

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Would it be wrong of me to yell BINGO!!!!!!!! at this moment

I'd be surprised at how it would take so long.

[mikoyan29]

Wow....that much compact corporate speak could sustain a chain reaction...

[Hyena Dandy]

I'm barely able to think and I read a bit of that and I thought it was a lyrics sheet to the new Weird Al song.

[Mr Hero]

Reminds of "Mission Statement" on the new Weird Al album.

[cindybubbles]

There was so much corporate speak in that letter that I could not read it in its entirety.

This is something that Dilbert's Pointy-Haired Boss would write, that is, if he can rise out of this example and learn how to write.