Your child can't be autistic because ...

[IDrinkaRum]

My sister's daughter is almost 2 (at the end of October is her 2nd birthday). I look at her, and I want to cry. She's everything my daughter wasn't when she was that age. If I didn't love my niece so much, I think I'd be resentful, I just wouldn't let anyone in the family know.

Does that make me a horrid person/mother?

Sure, I'd like my daughter to be neurotypical, but that would completely change my daughter's personality and the way I have to deal with her. And she's so lovable! She'll come up to me and give me kisses and hugs and she'll start dancing with me and we'll dissolve into giggles all over the place.

It's hard to find people in the area I live (which is surprising). Everything is either to the North or to the South of us. And Child Rum doesn't really do a good job of traveling.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm whining, but ... it's hard to find people who understand and who can come up with suggestions for/with me.

[Dreamstalker]

My mother thinks Child Rum needs to get over her fear of the vacuum, the mixer, the blender, and cell phones. She's not afraid of the electric pencil sharpner, so that means she can get over the others, right? I don't understand why some sounds are painful, and other similar high-pitched sounds aren't.

I wasn't particularly afraid of cell phones, I just didn't really like using the old ones (big, heavy, on the phones where the buttons are raised it's too easy to accidentally hit the hangup button with your cheek, and TBH if I'm in a noisy area even if the reception is excellent I can't really hear/understand the person).

Mom says I used to be terrified of loud sudden sounds, especially the teakettle for some reason (go figure, I loved the vacuum cleaner and one of my favorite games was to have dad chase me around the house with it). I'm fine now, except for kids squalling right near my ear and certain "flavors" of voices.

Also, what bugs me is that Jenny McCarthy "cured" her son of Autism. All she did was change his diet. I've talked to parents of Autistic children, they've tried the diet, and others like the one Ms. McCarthy used, but it didn't work for them.

I just don't get the diet thing. One thing that has helped me a ton is fish oil supplements...can't quite explain how or why, but it does help.

Not only that, the leaders of the group will fail to keep the boys from harassing the girl who joins the group.

One time I went to a shyness group, and when I mentioned I had Asperger's Syndrome, this guy pratically leaped over to where I was sitting saying he had Asperger's Syndrome too and started babbling nonsense to me.

That led to one guy being banned from the anime group (basically he was trying to hit on all three of us females pretty much simultaneously--ugh). Another guy is just a bit too forward; hi I've known you for all of two minutes, it's NOT really the time to ask about a date.

Ironically, I've had better experiences at the general "singles nights" that a local geek dating site will hold every so often.

[NorthernZel]

Hiya, my first post in here!

I'm interested in this thread since Lil' Zel, my 3y/o son, probably is in the Autism Spectrum. He's currently on a waiting list to get a diagnosis by a paedatrican psychiatrist, but luckily his daycare has some workers who specialize in working with kids who suffer with Autism/Asperger/ADD so he's in good hands.

After discussing the matter with both our family doctor and our Health Visitor it also seems that both I and hubby are high-functioning autists too, so I guess it runs in the family.

Lil' Zel's symptoms are "classic" (as in speech delay, delay in cognitive skills, lack of eye contact, obsessing in certain things, lack of use of imagination, freaking out when routines are interrupted) but still very mild. On the intelligence level, he is kinda smart when it comes to stuff he's interested in - he can read numbers from 1-10, identify several car logos and read a couple of letters.

I hope that I can learn more about Autism and how I can assist my child in coping with this by reading your experiences and views about this issue. It is still quite new stuff to me, I've googled a bit but I think I'll get more knowledge in here.

[XCashier]

People have such a difficult time coming to terms with the reality that there is an Autism Spectrum....I don't see why that's so difficult for people to get, I guess it's because then they can't put people on the Autism Spectrum in a convenient box.

That's it exactly. Most folks like things to fit in a nice tidy category; they don't want something that runs the gamut. They want a one-size-fits-all classification and treatment. It is very frustrating, especially when someone whose only exposure to autism is the movie Rain Man feels they can offer a snap diagnosis.

Every human being is different. And nearly any disorder, whether it's autism or arthritis or dyslexia or diabetes, has a spectrum, from mild to severe. There is no magic pill or solution to fix everything. The only thing we can do is try to understand each other and get along.

[violetyoshi]

Well, I'm 30 and yet to grow out of it. -.- As for the diet; either McCarthy was lying thru her teeth, or that was not autism.

If there was one, I wouldn't take it, personally. It's part of me.

McCarthy had no career, she saw her son as a ticket to get her bimbo self back on TV. That's all.

What frustrates me about a few groups the local association runs is just that. There aren't that many women that show up, and I think I'm beginning to understand why...if a female walks in the room, a lot of the the guys start acting like the sad nerd stereotype who have never seen a girl before.

Hel-LO, we exist too!

Not only that, the leaders of the group will fail to keep the boys from harassing the girl who joins the group. In one group the father, who to this day goes from quack therapy to quack therapy in hopes of curing his son, suggested I was his son's boyfriend in front of a group. I gave him a look like, you must think I am some dumb girl, cause there is no way anyone would date your son. He's so wanting to delude himself with the fantasy that his son is normal, he's harming other people to do so.

One time I went to a shyness group, and when I mentioned I had Asperger's Syndrome, this guy pratically leaped over to where I was sitting saying he had Asperger's Syndrome too and started babbling nonsense to me. I left because I felt it could only go one way if I rejected him, "But you should know how it is!! You have Asperger's Syndrome too!!!" and everyone would pity him, and think I'm a b**h. Why, cause I'm not willing to babysit him.

I mean that is what it's come down to in most groups I've been in, perhaps it's the ignorant notion that women can't be on the Autism Spectrum, and they assume the woman is there to help take care of the other members of the group.

Many people don't like that I'm suggesting most interactions I've had with people with lower functioning versions of Autism, have been an adult child relationship, but that's how it's been. I mean very small, almost like a baby child if not toddler relationship. I'm not saying everyone with Autism is like this, just the few I've had the misfortune of coming across. Most likely the kids who were dumped off at a group to babysit their child, and otherwise neglected at home or regarded as a hopeless cause. As well in most cases, brought in by parents who want to live the fantasy their child is normal.

I once was invited to a dance, where I was told I'd meet a cute boy. I was 13 years old, you don't tell an emotional 13 year old girl they'll be meeting cute boys and not deliver, lol. I was at a dance for people with Autism, who were like 3 year olds. I was like, why do people see me, and think I'm anything like them?! You know what it was, those kids parents wanted to fantasize that I'd take care of their children with Autism. Even suggesting that I have Asperger's Syndrome, and I owe it to their child, because I could've been born like them.

You'll find the most manipulative parents at group meetings for children with Autism most of the time, because they're trying to dump their child off with a babysitter, cause they're so selfish as to think it's okay to neglect their child because they're not the dream child they wanted. It's sick.

It depends on what your viewpoint is. From what I've heard, not much of the money they collect is used to actually help people be independent.

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network does much better work IMO.

Why help people with Autism be independent from Autism Speak's point of view? They want to contribute to the stereotype that people on the Autism spectrum are useless, and should be genetically destroyed.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Well, I'm 30 and yet to grow out of it. -.- As for the diet; either McCarthy was lying thru her teeth, or that was not autism.

If there was one, I wouldn't take it, personally. It's part of me.

[IDrinkaRum]

OoO! Growing out of Autism? That's fantastic! When does one grow out of it? When Child Rum is like 16 or 18 or 21, she'll wake up and BAM! No more Autism? WOW! (<-- sarcasm)

My mother thinks Child Rum needs to get over her fear of the vacuum, the mixer, the blender, and cell phones. She's not afraid of the electric pencil sharpner, so that means she can get over the others, right? I don't understand why some sounds are painful, and other similar high-pitched sounds aren't.

Also, what bugs me is that Jenny McCarthy "cured" her son of Autism. All she did was change his diet. I've talked to parents of Autistic children, they've tried the diet, and others like the one Ms. McCarthy used, but it didn't work for them.

And no, I don't believe there is a cure at this moment for Autism, in its many forms.

[Lace Neil Singer]

OoO!

I have another one about why my daughter isn't autistic:

She's a girl. It only happens to boys. Umm ... It's like 80% of autistics are boys. 20% are girls. What's really frustrating for me is that books on autism gear themselves towards boys not girls. Grrrr .... I hate that, but it's getting a little better.

Even the message shirts are mainly "I love my SON with Autistm". Very few mention girls.

Ah well ... I always knew my daughter was unique.

Very true; I have heard that one before myself. Sorry, I am a girl; and yup, I have a form of autism.

Another one I heard, "But it only affects children! You should have grown out of it!" Er, it's not an allergy or childhood excema, you know. You can't grow out of it.

[Dreamstalker]

What frustrates me about a few groups the local association runs is just that. There aren't that many women that show up, and I think I'm beginning to understand why...if a female walks in the room, a lot of the the guys start acting like the sad nerd stereotype who have never seen a girl before.

Hel-LO, we exist too!

[IDrinkaRum]

OoO!

I have another one about why my daughter isn't autistic:

She's a girl. It only happens to boys. Umm ... It's like 80% of autistics are boys. 20% are girls. What's really frustrating for me is that books on autism gear themselves towards boys not girls. Grrrr .... I hate that, but it's getting a little better.

Even the message shirts are mainly "I love my SON with Autistm". Very few mention girls.

Ah well ... I always knew my daughter was unique.

[Dreamstalker]

I'm confused. Is autismspeaks.org good or bad?

It depends on what your viewpoint is. From what I've heard, not much of the money they collect is used to actually help people be independent.

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network does much better work IMO.

[Lace Neil Singer]

She does obssess. If I tell her we're going to do something after a certain time, from that point on, until the appointed time, she'll talk about it. And talk about it. And talk about it.

That's me. I do try to curb it, cuz I understand now that it gets irritating to other people, but it's very difficult.

I also tend to get stuck in conversational loops when I'm angry or upset, where I'll just repeat the same thing over and over and over again. I do repeat myself a lot normally, but usually only twice before I catch myself. When in an angry or upset loop tho, it's like a CD on repeat. O_o

[violetyoshi]

My daughter's first developmental pediatrician said that she was a high-functioning autistic person with a high intelligence.

As I said before, she can watch you do something once and she knows how to do it.

I love my daughter to pieces, don't get me wrong. But sometimes ... I just wish ... I don't know that she was neurotypically "normal" just for an hour.

She does obssess. If I tell her we're going to do something after a certain time, from that point on, until the appointed time, she'll talk about it. And talk about it. And talk about it.

Her twirling does make me very dizzy and nauseous(sp?). I've told her to stop and she will.

That reminded me of an episode of Chowder on Cartoon Network, where they were climbing a mountain, then Schnitzel got dizzy. So Chowder started singing this song, "Spinning twirling whirling.." and something else, but it was all describing the feeling dizziness which only made Schnitzel feel worse. It was kind of cute though, like that was the most inappropriate song for that situation ever!

I ordered a weighted lap blanket for her today. Hopefully, it'll keep her seated at the dinner table instead of running around.

My daughter had a speech delay. Not sure if she'd have it if she wasn't Autistic, but she had one.

Mr. Rum's middle bro is dyslexic. There is a teacher I know who says that dyslexics are on the autistm spectrum (at the very low end, but they're still there). Which is interesting because all the pediatricians who've seen us always asks if #1. There are peolple in the family with ADD or ADHD and #2. if there are people with dyslexia in the family. (I have to answer yes to both).

I do let those around us, when we're out, that she's autistic.

She's still in the fascination of tattooes and she'll just stop people, grabbing their arms, to look at their tattooes. Fortunately, people are cool about it, but I still tell her she has to ask people first before grabbing them.

I'm wondering how old your daughter is mentally, because I think she might like to find out more about Kat Von D from L.A. Ink. I'm just wondering her mental age, cause the show may have some adult language or stuff in it. Kat also sells makeup & clothing with tattoo artwork on it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Holy crap. I just looked it up, based on your post here. Dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dyspraxia are all on the Autism spectrum. I did not know that.

That is very, very interesting. I got to learn more about that.


It actually kind of annoys me that I didn't know that.

[Nyoibo]

I'm confused. Is autismspeaks.org good or bad?

Yes.

She's still in the fascination of tattooes and she'll just stop people, grabbing their arms, to look at their tattooes. Fortunately, people are cool about it, but I still tell her she has to ask people first before grabbing them.

She's young, I don't know anyone who has a problem with that, hell, even hardcore bikies I've known just laugh at that sort of thing.