Autism as a reason to misbehave

[LadyMage]

I got the idea reading a few threads and honestly this bugs me to death.

Autism is a neurological disorder that sometimes makes it hard to understand social situations, among other things. That said, there is also a rise in Autism and Asperger cases in the US (a rant for another day actually). So it stands to reason that more people would understand how to teach their children how to act in public and be able to explain it in a way that can be processed by a brain that is basically wired differently, right?

Boy is that proven wrong, ignoring the fact that a lot of parents with neuro-typical children fail to teach manners, many parents use the autism as a reason for the kids behavior. Kid screaming in a mall "Oh he doesn't know any better, he is autistic" Kid stealing from another child, same excuse and so on. I makes me NUTS to see these kids who are high functioning or even low functioning get away with this when most of the parents I grew up with, including my own DID NOT LET THE CHILD GET AWAY WITH MURDER (figuratively of course) they would get the child out of the area to deal with later or correct the behavior in the best possible way. They did not brush it off with the disability, they owned up and fixed the problem as best they could!

Another issue is people who are diagnosed later on that do the same thing for themselves. They will lick people (heard about a case), act badly, be rude and gross, loud, nasty, moody and spoiled if they don't get their way. If confronted they say "well I am an aspie/autistic person so I can't help it" BULLSHIT!!! I am autistic and know how to behave around people, its not an excuse to act like a fucking ill behaved gutter dweller, its a reason to TRY HARDER TO KNOW HOW TO ACT. It makes the rest of us look bad. Oh and don't try and use it as a sympathy ploy either around me. I have seen this too, but I got a newsflash, EVERYONE HAS A HARD TIME IN LIFE! That is basically what life is, ups and downs and the downs tend to suck.

just had to get that off my chest, its been bugging me for years

[Nyoibo]

Another issue is people who are diagnosed later on that do the same thing for themselves. They will lick people (heard about a case), act badly, be rude and gross, loud, nasty, moody and spoiled if they don't get their way. If confronted they say "well I am an aspie/autistic person so I can't help it" BULLSHIT!!! I am autistic and know how to behave around people, its not an excuse to act like a fucking ill behaved gutter dweller, its a reason to TRY HARDER TO KNOW HOW TO ACT. It makes the rest of us look bad. Oh and don't try and use it as a sympathy ploy either around me. I have seen this too, but I got a newsflash, EVERYONE HAS A HARD TIME IN LIFE! That is basically what life is, ups and downs and the downs tend to suck.

I think I love you.

[DesignFox]

Thank you, LadyMage!

Just because I haven't been diagnosed with a disorder, doesn't mean I don't have problems of my own to deal with. It also doesn't give people who have been diagnosed with something to run rough-shod over everyone else just because they feel they "can't help it." or because "life's not fair! I have to work soooo much harder!"

Everyone has shit to deal with. The way you deal with your shit is what makes you an awesome person...or a douchewaffle.

[blas87]

I thank you as well.

I was just going to make a slightly similar thread, about socially awkward people.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, yes, I know many of you on this site fully admit to being socially awkward, but there's a guy at work who takes it to the extreme, and I don't think any of you could match this.

He added me and some of my coworker pals on Facebook.....we barely know him, and every time any of us updated our status, he'd comment. Oh, and he's another one of those "know it alls" who has had this job, that job.....and you gotta wonder, if he's such a hotshot, why is he working where we work? Anyway, then he sends me this really creepy PM on Facebook saying he is sorry but he's always been extremely socially awkward, and it got worse after his marriage failed......ooook, I really didn't care to know that, and I could already tell he had no clue how to behave around other people like a normal person.

He just got creepier and creepier.....almost stalkerish, online AND at work....I had to block him and try to avoid him at work. Just SO DAMN CREEPY, and he behaved like such an idiot......I'm just really lucky my boyfriend and my parents didn't get a chance to see all the times he commented on my status and started flooding my Wall (of course, I'd delete them after I saw it after a bit, before I blocked him).

Of course, then I hear from my new trainer at work that now he's going around calling me a bitch who doesn't understand what it's like to be socially awkward.

Hahaha. Ok. Freak.

[LadyMage]

I thank you as well.

I was just going to make a slightly similar thread, about socially awkward people.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, yes, I know many of you on this site fully admit to being socially awkward, but there's a guy at work who takes it to the extreme, and I don't think any of you could match this.

He added me and some of my coworker pals on Facebook.....we barely know him, and every time any of us updated our status, he'd comment. Oh, and he's another one of those "know it alls" who has had this job, that job.....and you gotta wonder, if he's such a hotshot, why is he working where we work? Anyway, then he sends me this really creepy PM on Facebook saying he is sorry but he's always been extremely socially awkward, and it got worse after his marriage failed......ooook, I really didn't care to know that, and I could already tell he had no clue how to behave around other people like a normal person.

He just got creepier and creepier.....almost stalkerish, online AND at work....I had to block him and try to avoid him at work. Just SO DAMN CREEPY, and he behaved like such an idiot......I'm just really lucky my boyfriend and my parents didn't get a chance to see all the times he commented on my status and started flooding my Wall (of course, I'd delete them after I saw it after a bit, before I blocked him).

Of course, then I hear from my new trainer at work that now he's going around calling me a bitch who doesn't understand what it's like to be socially awkward.

Hahaha. Ok. Freak.

oh yeah you are such a bitch for not wanting to be STALKED! *facepalms* this is why the whole autism as an excuse thing pisses me off

I do warn people I have it, but I always say "if I am doing something that bugs you just tell me, I'll fix it!" since I do screw up every so often but I don't just say "oh boo hoo I am autistic so you have to let me do that annoying thing that pisses you off cause I can't help it" I ask how I can fix it, its ok I don't mind, or if I get really stressed I get the hell out of there as politely as possible!

[blas87]

Well see, I'm not totally sure if the guy has actually been diagnosed with autism or aspbergers......or if he even really is socially awkward.....he could just be someone who is just a creep and a freak and uses it as a fake crutch!

I mean, there is something very wrong with people who follow and stalk and harrass, but I don't think it's always something like autism or one of the others in the spectrum.

But I do fully understand your point from your OP. It happens alot.

[LadyMage]

doesn't matter, bet if he was diagnosed, he would have pulled that out as a sympathy card I bet

hopefully he is far FAR away from you now

[blas87]

No, I still have to deal with him. I asked my trainer if we could go on break at different times because he's always out there when we are. And I think he figured out I blocked him, although he has FINALLY given up on trying to talk to me and he knows he creeps me out, so if he sees me in the cafeteria trying to fix up a plate or something, he'll just stand there nearby staring at me.

He was doing the same thing to two of my former coworkers from my old department, I'm not sure if he still does.

I was really hoping he wouldn't figure out I got a department transfer, then I fgured out that he spends more time where I work now than he did where I used to work

[LadyMage]

ouch! that sucks blas, you might want to get steps started to get rid of him, like letting others know about him at work, maybe then he will learn and if he whines let me know I got some choice words for him, drill sargent style

[blas87]

I feel bad for stealing your thread, but thank you for your kind words, and rest assured I'm definetly on the lookout!

And back to your regularly scheduled thread.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It bugs me as well, and I have Aspergers. -.- Oh wow, I never realised that getting the diagnosis gave me a free card to act like a prat in public!

Case in point, I was in a supermarket once waiting in a queue. The woman in front of me had a little girl who kept running up and down, grabbing at people's shopping. When she grabbed mine, I grabbed it back and said to her mother, "Can't you control your brat?"

The mother snapped back, "She's autistic."

I replied, "So am I, but you don't see me acting like a complete pain in the arse. That's cuz my parents brought me up properly."

The woman said nothing, but she got hold of her daughter and held her next to her for the rest of the time.

I also was annoyed reading about the woman with the autistic child on the flight who whined when she and her child were chucked off when she refused to strap him in properly. Sorry, but firstly it's not on for everyone else on the plane to have to wait hours, maybe missing connecting flights, for you to calm your child. You are not a special little snowflake, and neither is he. Second, if he really is autistic (and there are far too many parents who label their child thusly in order that they can get away without parenting properly) then you need to adapt accordingly. If your child freaks out on planes, then don't go on one, or get sedation medicine from your doctor. Safety rules are for everyone, and if you or your child refuse to follow them, then your arses are out the door. Simple as that.

[BlaqueKatt]

Kid screaming in a mall "Oh he doesn't know any better, he is autistic" Kid stealing from another child, same excuse and so on.

No He doesn't know any better because he wasn't taught any better.

My autistic son could understand his autistic mother getting down to his level(on one knee) and asking him to please stop whatever behavior he was exhibiting or we would leave the store/public area-and he was only 2.

Though I did once have to carry him out of the park, under my arm kicking and screaming-oddly enough I had to carry him past two groups.

group one-mothers sitting on benches gossiping and drinking lattes while their kids ran roughshod over the park-glared at me like I was the worst mother ever-and made comments on my parenting abilities while their own kids were being little hellions(pushing each other off equipment-pulling hair-spitting on each other)

group two-Girl scout outing with fathers and mothers setting up a picnic(half setting up half supervising the kids on the equipment)-walked by them with toddler under my arm still kicking and screaming, having total meltdown-Father in the group-"ah overstimulated kid-I understand, need some help getting him to your car, he looks heavy and very disagreeable at the moment" After I explained I was taking the bus and had to get to the bus stop-and continued walking-he went back to his group-they wrangled up a mother with a carseat in the group and offered me a ride home. Two of the scouts came with us and kept my son amused on the way(they took turns reading to him).

[AdminAssistant]

group two-Girl scout outing with fathers and mothers setting up a picnic(half setting up half supervising the kids on the equipment)-walked by them with toddler under my arm still kicking and screaming, having total meltdown-Father in the group-"ah overstimulated kid-I understand, need some help getting him to your car, he looks heavy and very disagreeable at the moment" After I explained I was taking the bus and had to get to the bus stop-and continued walking-he went back to his group-they wrangled up a mother with a carseat in the group and offered me a ride home. Two of the scouts came with us and kept my son amused on the way(they took turns reading to him).

How nice!! I hope they got some "helping others" badges for their sashes!

[Dreamstalker]

In the anime club that the local AS organization runs, a few of the members can act relatively normal, but there are a few who I sometimes wonder how do they get by in public...

I do warn people I have it, but I always say "if I am doing something that bugs you just tell me, I'll fix it!" since I do screw up every so often

So do I...it didn't work too well at my game store job, but the owner didn't want to listen.

Well see, I'm not totally sure if the guy has actually been diagnosed with autism or aspbergers......or if he even really is socially awkward.....he could just be someone who is just a creep and a freak and uses it as a fake crutch!

The cynic in me says that's what some of the people using it as an excuse are doing..."hey look, I can be a douche and not have to own up to it!"

[LadyMage]

So do I...it didn't work too well at my game store job, but the owner didn't want to listen.

yeah there are some people that take the other extreme too far too, there are times where autistic people really can't help it I admit (about 10% of the time in a perfect world) but usually it works. Part of me can't help but blame the ones I am griping about for that though

and everyone else, wow I did not expect such a positive reaction to my thread! Thank you all