That Cougar is still seen as a cute pet name, for female predators.

[the_std]

I have no problem with people who are a bit weirded out by it. It's unusual, as it is not what the majority of society prefers. You take a second glance, maybe give it another moment's thought, and that's it.

But it takes effort and judgement to be truly disgusted by something. That's why I asked. If a relationship that has no bearing on you, no effect on your life and is not harming anyone (that you can see) truly disgusts you, then maybe you need to take a step back.

[Flyndaran]

..
I try not to analyze it too much, though. I mean, in this world, it's hard enough to find someone who can make you happy. If someone finds that, then they shouldn't let an age gap stop them (unless one of them is underage).

Hells yeah!
If underage, then patience is not only a virtue it's a stay out of jail card.
Then again, there is no law against dating minors, only sex with them.

We are born, we do stuff, then we die. Any and every excuse to enjoy our meager lives should be allowed as long as it hurts no one.

[guywithashovel]

I don't understand what's so inherently disgusting about getting involved with someone younger like that. Why is it so wrong to you guys? As long as they're not underage, as long as it's not illegal, I really don't see the problem.

If there's a huge age gap, then I'll find it a little weird. For example, when I was a senior in high school, a girl in my class was dating a 27 year-old guy. She even brought him to the senior prom. I thought that was weird. I didn't think it was "gross," just a little weird. I also wondered if he felt a little out of place at a high school dance. Looking back now, I also wonder how her parents reacted to that. I have a sister, and back when she was in high school, my parents would have gone through the roof had she ever brought home a guy that age and told them she was dating him.

I try not to analyze it too much, though. I mean, in this world, it's hard enough to find someone who can make you happy. If someone finds that, then they shouldn't let an age gap stop them (unless one of them is underage).

[violetyoshi]

I'm a 40 year old female, and I think Ashton and Demi look fucking ridiculous. But then again, that's just my opinion - and I do wholeheartedly feel 'to each their own' regarding ages, as long as no laws are broken.

The youngest man I was ever with was a 26 year old when I was 35. I guess that wasn't 'cougardom'?

I just don't see the appeal. Maybe its because my sons are 22 and almost 20, so it squicks me out to imagine getting it on with dudes their age. The couple of times my son's friends have made comments, or flirted, I've laughed and shaken my head at them. Both sons were appalled and annoyed with the friend, though.

Somewhat off topic: Demi has gotten me thinking of making a thread about plastic surgery in hollywood. She was just the subject of an interview recently in which she denied having any 'work' done. I laughed really, REALLY hard at that one.

In my opinon, 'cougardom' would be like a 35 year old, dating an 18 year old.

[Flyndaran]

...
Somewhat off topic: Demi has gotten me thinking of making a thread about plastic surgery in hollywood. She was just the subject of an interview recently in which she denied having any 'work' done. I laughed really, REALLY hard at that one.

Does she think everyone has forgotten her topless scenes pre and post surgery?
I don't have a problem with age differences. Isn't love supposed to be about something more important than the physical?
My girlfriend is only three years younger than me, but with our family histories, I will likely outlive her by decades. My mom is 56 and can still move furniture.
Is that just as disgusting to everyone? Why would I want to get involved with a woman knowing that I will be nursing her in our older age?

Yes, many such relationships are about things other than love just like many age equivalent marriages, but many aren't..
As long as a woman smelled good, I wouldn't care about appearance or age... if I were single.

[Peppergirl]

I'm a 40 year old female, and I think Ashton and Demi look fucking ridiculous. But then again, that's just my opinion - and I do wholeheartedly feel 'to each their own' regarding ages, as long as no laws are broken.

The youngest man I was ever with was a 26 year old when I was 35. I guess that wasn't 'cougardom'?

I just don't see the appeal. Maybe its because my sons are 22 and almost 20, so it squicks me out to imagine getting it on with dudes their age. The couple of times my son's friends have made comments, or flirted, I've laughed and shaken my head at them. Both sons were appalled and annoyed with the friend, though.

Somewhat off topic: Demi has gotten me thinking of making a thread about plastic surgery in hollywood. She was just the subject of an interview recently in which she denied having any 'work' done. I laughed really, REALLY hard at that one.

[DesignFox]

Maybe I'm weird, but the idea of sleeping with grandpa turns me off. I don't understand what a young woman would want with that.

I want to grow old *with* my partner. Not waste the prime of my youth nursing someone through old age. Sorry. I find it weird that someone would want that.

I'm not attracted to guys that are old enough to be my father or grandfather. For me, a 10 year gap is probably about as far as I'd be willing to consider. I prefer to stick with guys close to my own age.

And I don't hold a double standard. I think it's equally weird for a guy to date a woman old enough to be his mom/grandma.

*shrug* just me. I don't care what other people do as long as it's legal. But I'm certainly allowed to think it's weird.

[the_std]

I don't understand what's so inherently disgusting about getting involved with someone younger like that. Why is it so wrong to you guys? As long as they're not underage, as long as it's not illegal, I really don't see the problem.

And the whole "flashing" thing really doesn't have anything to do with cougars. It was what one woman, on a TV show, who was portraying a cougar, and decided to flash a kid. Cougars don't generally engage in such acts, and it's definitely not something that is done because someone is a cougar.

[Rapscallion]

Men shouldn't think they have to prove their virility with a woman young enough to be their daughter.

I don't think it's about proving anything - it's about wanting to fuck someone in their relative youth.

I may be wrong, as I'm more the sort to do something particularly stupid to prove myself, not something sexual.

Rapscallion

[IDrinkaRum]

Ashton Kutcher, Catherine Zeta Jones, ummm ... Billy Joel's ex-wife, Bruce Wilis's wife, Hulk Hogan's girlfriend (isn't she like 20 years younger than him or something?) ...

There are plenty of people who date/marry/sleep with people who are more than half their age.

I admit I don't like it. I think it's disgusting.

Women shouldn't be flashing anything at anyone - just shows how desperate they are, in my opinion. And they shouldn't be with a guy young enough to be their son.

Men shouldn't think they have to prove their virility with a woman young enough to be their daughter.

[tropicsgoddess]

This is totally bassackwards.

Dirty old men have been after little spring chickens for years and years and years. Hundreds of years ago, a man in his 30s would marry a girl who was in her early teens and she'd bear his children.

Although times have certainly changed, it's still not uncommon to see a middle aged man or a man several years older than girl that he's with. A lot of times, it's because he has money, other times it's real and geniune......but I digress.

Pedophiles are pedophiles, male or female.

By the way, a Dingo is the cute pet name for older men who like younger women, so no, Cougar is not that degrading.

I was wondering what the male equivalent term for a cougar was. I just don't see how anybody could want to date, marry and even....sleep with somebody that's half their age, to be honest. *puke* I never have and refuse to be with anybody that is more than 6 years older/younger than me. Thank God SO and I have a 6 MONTH age gap.

[Rapscallion]

I agree with people who say Girls Next Door is similar to Cougartown.

Similar, sure. However you're missing one very basic point here - men and women are wired differently. Same basic model, minor changes to the undercarriage to allow compatability between the two, but the mentality is very, very different. I'm all for equal rights of the genders, but I don't expect the same from them both, or the same approach.

Of note is that I don't have any statistics for this, but I rather suspect the cougar mentality is not a majority amongst women, which is why it's so celebrated (for want of a better word).

Differences of ages in relationships have been discussed before. The general consensus was, I think, if the people involved are happy and of the age of consent, what's the problem? If the older woman seeking a younger man only wants a night or two of passion and can pass on some teaching, then why not? The average young man is not going to be scarred for life over a sexual encounter with an experienced person. Sure, it may be different for a young woman, but I can't see any problem with an older woman approaching a young man.

Rapscallion

[daleduke17]

Like I've said, if you don't like it, don't watch it.

How does this affect you in any way, other than guys aren't telling you you're sexy?

Maybe the guys and ladies have problems. Then it would be perfectly okay to let them do it, because they have a problem, right?

[violetyoshi]

What I'm saying is insecure people, who are so desperate for attention they need to flash the neighborhood kid theoretically, shouldn' t be encouraged.

This is like, when a popular girl graduates high school, then doesn't know what to do because their whole self-worth was wrapped up in their being popular. These women seem to be so wrapped up in being found sexually appealing, they'll throw themselves at men just so they can be told they're sexy.

I agree with people who say Girls Next Door is similar to Cougartown. I just don't understand why it's so important to people to be considered sexy above everything else. It sounds like people, who really have not been able to view themselves in any other aspect, than as a object for men.

I think perhaps if looked from that perspective, that Courtney Cox represents women in our society that haven't been able to find self-worth outside of being objectified, people might realize how sad it is. That when they measure women only based on how they look, or what body they have, they're just seeing that there will be more desperate older women in the future, needing to confirm they're still hot by going after young men. Do people really want their sons being hit on by 50-something women?

[BlaqueKatt]

ok had to respond to this-as I have been called a "cougar" or "cradle robbber" before - and I am most certainly NOT a predator.

Why-well because my husband was 18 when we met and became friends(because we did have a lot in common), I was 27-we started dating when he was 19-we've been together for 6 years-I supported him through college.

Why was he attracted to me-well I asked him why he asked me out instead of someone his own age-this was the response I got:

"girls my age are materialistic, petty, selfish and insecure-you are none of those."

his sisters(2 years younger) and their friends were his main female contacts(he was homeschooled)-he watched his sisters date guys because of the cars they drove, watch them fly into a rage when their boyfriends so much as glanced at another girl("OMG- you looked at another girl, you want to f**k her, you think she's prettier than me!!eleventy"), he watched his sisters talk about how ugly their boyfriends ex girlfriends were, and he watched his sisters whine about how faaaaat they were(at 5'8" and 115#), and OMG I can't fit into a size zero-I have to wear a size 1. And from what I see, most teenage girls do fit his assessment-heck quite a few college girls fit his assessment(we have girls at the UW going for their MRS. Degree as we have a law school and med school-my sister(cabdriver) actually has overheard college girls talking about how they want to be a "trophy wife" so they have tons of money to spend on clothes and getting their hair done every week without having to work. Yay shallowness-that's attractive

Confidence is attractive-most younger women/girls do not have it-sorry.
And most younger girls do not have the relationship experience or the patience it can take to deal with a younger male-yes my husband does some hairbrained stuff-stuff I used to dump guys for in my teens/20's-I learned from that, take a deep breath and remember that I love him AND his flaws, and not just when things are going well-that takes patience, which is a learned/acquired skill-and it takes time, and being able to understand what makes people tick-a 20 year-old girl is not going to have that.


So because I didn't care that we took the bus to go catch a movie, didn't accuse him of cheating on me every 5 minutes, enjoyed being in his company no matter if I enjoyed what we were doing or not, and was confident in myself-he chose me.

Does that make me a "predator"-I did not pursue him, I just befriended the quiet kid at work that sat alone, because I used to be that kid and I know how it felt-no one else even talked to him.