Being Defensive

[XCashier]

Hey, you're getting defensive now!

What the hell do they expect, you to roll over and let them walk all over you? Sounds like a typical response from someone who's willing to dish it out, but not take it.

[Rageaholic]

Yeah, being defensive is a response to someone being offensive. If they weren't being offensive in the first place, than there would be no need to be defensive. I always hate the sayinig "You started it", but I think it applies in those situations.

[DrFaroohk]

You're wrong! You're bad! You're inadequate! You're inferior!

No I'm not!

Hey, you're getting defensive now! That's so bad and wrong! See? You're a loser!
_____

There's nothing wrong with being defensive. If someone is criticizing or accusing or just trying to put me down, they're attacking me. It doesn't matter the reasoning or the context, whether its a boss or a friend or family member, someone is basically saying "You are wrong." They might say it with a smile, and even have a really good reason for it, but the fact is I'm still being attacked. And I have every right to explain my position and defend myself. Maybe they're not seeing the whole picture and need to be enlightened. There may have been a key piece of information they weren't privy too and it clouded their judgement. Even if that's not the case, I'm not psychic so I can't know that, and I have every right to explain my position and defend myself.

But apparently even that is out of line now. I either have to be a doormat and let people treat me like crap, so I'm weak and unassertive, or I have major attitude problems because I DARED to question someone else's flawed opinion of me.