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The way my boyf sometimes refuses to listen to reason

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  • The way my boyf sometimes refuses to listen to reason

    It's like this. If I have my period, I am spending most of the time feeling unwell. I can just about survive thru work, but when I finish work, all I want is, to put it bluntly, to be left the fuck alone. However, even after we've been together for nearly nine years, my boyf still is unable to grasp this fact and still tries to inflict himself on me. -.- Doesn't matter how nicely and tactfully I try to put him off, he still insists on coming round til I am forced to tell him I don't want him, or indeed anyone around me at this time. Then he acts mortally wounded and goes off in a sulk. It really pisses me off, cuz I don't see why I should be forced to entertain him at a point when I am feeling ill and he just doesn't ever understand this.
    "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

  • #2
    Pick a night when you're feeling goo and sit him down to talk about it. Just explain while you really do want to be with him some nights you want to be alone, as in you and noone else in the room so you can completely relax and it's nothing against him, you just want a night to yourself without his guilt trips and him sulking.

    If that doesn't work next he says he's coming around (I'm assuming you don't live together) even when you tell him no put a sign on the door saying no visitors tonight and don't answer the door at all.

    Also on the nights when you don't feel like being together who's calling who? Does he call you then come over or do you call him tell him you're not feeling well and want to be alone. If you're calling him then stop he may be misinterpreting you*. If he's calling you just be very clear and tell him outright do not come over tonight at all. The only issue is if you guys had plans.


    * a lot of people (women mostly) say they don't want something when they really do, expecting people to read their minds and he may think this is what you are doing rather than telling him you want to be alone he hears I feel like crap come over and make me feel better, though he should have gotten the hint after the first couple times.

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    • #3
      I suggest going into intense, graphic detail about what is going on with your body during your period. Leave absolutely nothing to his imagination.

      I'll bet he doesn't stick around long after that.

      Or you can be all "mature" and "reasonable" and go with gremcint's suggestions. Whatever.

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      • #4
        I'm glad my love muffin has very light menses.
        But when you feel sucky, you feel sucky.
        I want to be alone when feeling that way, but my love muffin and many others want company then.
        This really sounds like a bigger issue than a periodic hassle. Ignoring your spoken wishes is whatever the female version of emasculating is. That would hurt my self-esteem after a while.
        As others have implied, he needs a hit by the clue-by-four.
        Happy hitting.

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