Aren't I a customer?

[jackfaire]

I have wondered for awhile now how others feel about being told that certain things you do in your job are done because customers like it.

My main example I suppose would be "treating customers like they are human beings" as said by my manager but what they mean is, give a customer every piece of information from their bal to the due date to the date of their next bill even if they clearly do not want the information and have not requested.

Thank them at the end of the call in a formal way that reiterates what company they are speaking with.

These are only a couple of the things I mean. Now my issue with these isn't that as a customer service rep I have to say them. It is as a customer who has to hear them.

I hate it. My best experiences calling into a call center were probably considered the worst by that person's supervisor. The person said hello mentioned the company name once asked how they could help me didn't jump all over some odd thing I said and make a deal out of it (we are supposed to acknowledge a house purchase, new baby, birthday etc often met with an awkward uhm sure okay) then they talked to me like they would anyone else nothing formal just kept it informal.

I loved that yet continously I am told that is bad customer service. Why?

Who are they talking to that says, "Talk to me formally like you would talk to some stranger"

I have so many rules to follow about what to say and how that it doesn't feel like I am talking to a real person but rather working an assembly line.

Maybe I am totally off base here but this is how I feel.

[Boozy]

My ideal call centre experience would involve getting off the goddamn phone in as little time as possible.

I do not wake up in the mornings with an irresistible urge to chit-chat with my cable company. If I'm calling, it's because I have to. Probably because they screwed up either my service or my bill.

I don't want to hear that my business is important to them, that they hope I have a happy birthday in a few weeks, that they are available to assist me with other random shit for which I did not call, that they are so terribly sorry about my inconvenience, that perhaps I might visit their website, and by the way they hope my call centre experience was a good one.

I made a call to my cable company a few weeks ago and braced myself for an onslaught of "good customer service". Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to have the following conversation:

Me: I'd like to add HBO to my package please.

Guy-Who-Will-Surely-Get-Canned-In-The-Near-Future-For-Being-Too-Efficient: Sure. What is the password on the account?

Me: *Password*

Guy: HBO is now added to your account. Anything else?

Me: No thanks.

Guy: Thanks for calling.

And we are to believe a bunch of corporate suits when they tell us that customers don't want the above experience? Please.

[BroomJockey]

And we are to believe a bunch of corporate suits

The suits would want their experience. Normal people want yours.

[Boozy]

So true.

Here's an idea: Add a menu at the beginning of the call with the following options:

Press "1" if you're a sad little person who needs their ass kissed to feel validated as a human being.

Press "2" if you're a well-adjusted person who just wants to get shit done and move on with their lives.

That way everyone gets the experience they want.

[gremcint]

And What's really annoying is that the call center employees are expected to keep as low a call time as possible but are given all these things to say whereas if they had less things to say the call time would go down.

[jackfaire]

One part I hate is that I am expected to acknowledge when someone says they lost a loved one. I always feel insincere saying it.

I try to show empathy but someone dropping that as part of their conversation is rough and I am waiting for them to start screaming at me to ask what do I know.

I almost yelled at a couple of reps, amongst other people, that I had to speak to after my dad passed.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

The problem is that the people making these decision about what constitutes "good customer service" know only slightly less about customer service than Figg the Newt who lives in a tank in my living room.

These same suits would not know what customer service was if it ran up and bit them on the ass.

And mentioning personal events a customer has not brought up is just plain creepy and stalkerish. I've never had that happen, but I would be pretty creeped out if it did.

[jackfaire]

. I've never had that happen, but I would be pretty creeped out if it did.

I can't bring up personal events unless the person mentioned it to someone previously and I don't have to comment on it unless they mention it directly to me but people will often be like, "So and so died" most commonly used if they need an extension or are closing said person's account.

I do get to freak out people with my ESP though. People usually call from one of the phone numbers they have listed on their account. I will have their account up and their problem resolved by the time we are done finished saying hi. When I ask them, "So you live at ....., your calling about ....., this is what we can do" They freak out wanting to know how I know this.

The problem solving only works if it is something obvious like they are on a payment plan and the amount of money they actually owe us is less than the plan and they are calling to stop it.