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  • My Aunt

    My great aunt....

    For my mother's birthday earlier this week, she was sent a very humorous card in the mail, but she had no idea who sent it.

    She thought it was hilarious.....then she found out from my cousin that it was her aunt who had sent it and meant it in a very mean way (it was a card regarding getting old and having saggy boobs).

    Of course, the card is so funny that anyone would have laughed at it, and because my great aunt is such a bassackwards retard she can't even find the right way to insult someone (meaning she picked out the card because she thought the idea of pointing out that my mom has big boobs would hurt her feelings and get her good!).......my mom is a little upset at her intent and because she found out it wasn't a friend or better family member who sent it, she still wins because it really didn't hurt her feelings the way it was "intended" to.

    Oh, and what's my aunt's problem with my mom? It started many years ago, because my aunt is obviously a brain donor....amongst being a bad alcoholic and undiagnosed insane....after gramma died, she's been just dying and dying to get everything she wants from the Will and all of gramma's belongings because that means antiques which means $$$ and because auntie is a bad bad alchie and a piss poor business woman who lost her business and is unemployed and keeps getting fired from any job she gets......and this process isn't going fast enough and she isn't getting what she wants.......

    Guess who is getting a card on her birthday that's going to look like there is money in it, but when it's opened, there will be a card for Alcoholics Anonymous in there?

    Mom said she wouldn't stoop to that level, but I will

    Bitch, don't fuck with my family. Mom is a big girl and can stand up for herself, but sometimes the cub must stand up for the lioness and grab the hyena right by its stupid neck.

  • #2
    Originally posted by blas87 View Post
    guess who is getting a card on her birthday that's going to look like there is money in it, but when it's opened, there will be a card for Alcoholics Anonymous in there?

    Mom said she wouldn't stoop to that level, but I will

    Bitch, don't fuck with my family. Mom is a big girl and can stand up for herself, but sometimes the cub must stand up for the lioness and grab the hyena right by its stupid neck.
    Blas...I think I have a forum girl-crush on you now.

    That's beautiful! I have family like that, they think they're being insulting, but the fact they don't have two brain cells between them to rub together and get synapses firing means 9 times out of 10, they either make no sense and end up insulting themselves and getting laughed at. It's a rather amusing thing to watch, actually...

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    • #3
      Aw, thanks for the support

      And yes, it's too freaking hilarious.

      What's even more entertaining than her epic attempts at hurting feelings is her and her daughters and their Facebook fights. I mean, my one cousin, I truly do like her, but she does have a tendency to give in and occasionally acts like her mom and sister.......

      While it is kind of immature and stooping to their level, my mom and I do tend to Facebook stalk them because of all their family drama and dirty laundry they air for all of their friends and family to see.

      Working nights and sleeping all day, I miss the really good ones, like the one where my one cousin wanted a massage really bad, and one of her friends suggested a salon, and then her sister instantly started bashing that friend because HER salon is so much better and how dare my cousin not to go HER salon....just the dumbest fight and it went on and on for the better part of the evening......but got deleted before I could see it

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      • #4
        (meaning she picked out the card because she thought the idea of pointing out that my mom has big boobs would hurt her feelings and get her good!

        So something every guy I’ve come across likes is suppose to make women feel hurt? I’m not seeing a problem here. A very good laugh, but not a problem.

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        • #5
          Kittercat, I truly believe my aunt has always been jealous that my mom has bigger boobs than she does, because large breasts run on my grandma's side of the family (that'd be my mom's mom).

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          • #6
            Originally posted by blas87 View Post
            Kittercat, I truly believe my aunt has always been jealous that my mom has bigger boobs than she does, because large breasts run on my grandma's side of the family (that'd be my mom's mom).
            Same problem with me. I am rather amply endowed. my sister? Not so much, and neither is my mom. However, where as my mom and I joke about it, my sister gets all up in arms whenever I wear something V-cut or "plunging" (i.e., scoop neck or kimono style tops). suddenly she's "Zomg! Your bewbs are hanging out all over the place, why're you being so ho-ish?"

            Of course, when SHE wears the same thing and shows off her protruding clavicle and thorax, that's ok, or when she wears t-shirts 2 sizes two small and shorts that barely cover her ass cheeks, well, she's just wearing clothes! I tell her she's jealous of my cleavage because I have the build to wear those kinds of tops correctly.

            some people...

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            • #7
              Originally posted by lupo pazzesco View Post
              Same problem with me. I am rather amply endowed. :
              Ah so you have a large....inheritance
              Jack Faire
              Friend
              Father
              Smartass

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              • #8
                Originally posted by jackfaire View Post
                Ah so you have a large....inheritance
                biological inheritance, certainly.

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                • #9
                  She has huge... tracts of land.

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                  • #10
                    Big lady lumps!

                    Oh I feel the pain. The painful memories of being called a whore and looking slutty for wearing low cut shirts or tanks, but flat and smaller chested girls looked SO cute!

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