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I don't have a problem with your homosexuality but.....

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  • I don't have a problem with your homosexuality but.....

    I often hear from friends or family, "I don't have a problem with you being gay as long as I don't have to see it."

    In otherwords they don't want to see me holding hands with a guy kiss him on the cheek to say goodbye or hello, or hug a boyfriend before he takes off for work.

    God forbid I sit on the couch surrounded by friends being held by a boyfriend. They would freak out.

    My mom is cool with my sexuality until I mention a crush I have on a guy at work then of course she gets anger but tells me she isn't and won't say why.

    I know why it's because she once said, "Guys are gay because they are too close (or have overbearing) mothers"

    I am paraphrasing. The biggest thing about this that bothers me is I wish they would be honest and admit they hate that I am gay and that when I get a boyfriend a lot of people that hang out will disappear.

    Part of me wishes they would do it now not wait until later.
    Jack Faire
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  • #2
    Well, to be honest, I rather agree with your friends. BUT...

    Mostly it makes me uncomfortable because I was molested by my older male cousin as a kid and I've never been able to shake that 'ick' factor from coming back when I see two guys being cuddly.

    Still, I totally support your right to do what you wish. If I see it and it creeps me out, the simple fix is for me to just look elsewhere. Too bad so many other people don't feel the same way.

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    • #3
      I'm not big on PDA's regardless of sexual orientation. A hug or something when saying goodbye is no big deal. I hug my guy friends. How is two gay guys hugging any different from me hugging my friends? A hug's a hug.

      But other forms of PDA's...I'd prefer they be left to young teenagers and stuff.
      Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

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      • #4
        Mostly it makes me uncomfortable because I was molested by my older male cousin as a kid and I've never been able to shake that 'ick' factor from coming back when I see two guys being cuddly.
        Kinda blows the "gay people got that way because they were molested" argument clear out of the water, doesn't it?
        "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Greenday View Post
          I'm not big on PDA's regardless of sexual orientation. A hug or something when saying goodbye is no big deal. I hug my guy friends. How is two gay guys hugging any different from me hugging my friends? A hug's a hug.

          But other forms of PDA's...I'd prefer they be left to young teenagers and stuff.
          I am talking about in my own home on my couch. Friends of mine who would sit on the couch cuddling with their girlfriends would have an issue with me doing that with boyfriends.

          Gerrinson I understand I was molested by my father when I was a kid which is why it has taken me so long to be okay with my own sexuality.
          Jack Faire
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          • #6
            I have an issue to PDA; as in, groping, tongue wrestling, tasting tonsils; that kind of thing. I don't care if someone's gay, straight or bi; you do not do that in my house and I would tell someone so. I'm not a prude; I just don't see why people feel the urge to slobber over each other in public.

            In your case, just set the bounderaries before you invite your friends. Tell them that if they don't like it, then they don't have to come. If your friends take that as an issue, then maybe it's time to find some new friends.
            "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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            • #7
              Meh, I get uncomfortable around anyone cuddling together, it ain't just the manlove.
              I am a sexy shoeless god of war!
              Minus the sexy and I'm wearing shoes.

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              • #8
                Ok this may come out wrong, but here’s my take on it. Most of us have been taught that being gay is wrong. Its something that you don’t do/become/accept -however you want to word it. And the majority of people have accepted this. Only in the past couple of decades has it found any acceptability in the normal culture. So you end up with people that have been taught from an early age that this is not acceptable, however said people have thought about it and come to the conclusion that there really isn’t a problem with it, so you have a conflict. (ugh run on sentence) Mentally they have come to the conclusion that they are “ok” with your decision, but emotionally their still stuck on what they’ve been taught all their lives. So you get to hear “I don't have a problem with you being gay as long as I don't have to see it." even when your in your own home.

                I have to admit I’ve never found watching to “girly-men” getting it on comfortable. Strangely enough the one time I saw two men who acted “manly” checking each others tonsils out I discovered why guys like lesbian make-outs.

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                • #9
                  Whereas I like slashfic; I just don't want to see it reinacted in front of me, m'kay?

                  Two men kissing tho; don't mind in the slightest. XD It's cute.
                  "Oh wow, I can't believe how stupid I used to be and you still are."

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jackfaire View Post
                    I often hear from friends or family, "I don't have a problem with you being gay as long as I don't have to see it."
                    Response: "I don't have a problem with you being straight as long as I don't have to see it."

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by gremcint View Post
                      Response: "I don't have a problem with you being straight as long as I don't have to see it."
                      Okay - thank you - soda almost met laptop monitor!
                      Oh Holy Trinity, the Goddess Caffeine'Na, the Great Cowthulhu, & The Doctor, Who Art in Tardis, give me strength. Moo. Moo. Java. Timey Wimey

                      Avatar says: DAVID TENNANT More Evidence God is a Woman

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by gremcint View Post
                        Response: "I don't have a problem with you being straight as long as I don't have to see it."
                        Thank you. I will have to use that. It's a moot point at this time as I don't even have a boyfriend right now but just tired of hearing it.
                        Jack Faire
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by jackfaire View Post
                          I often hear from friends or family, "I don't have a problem with you being gay as long as I don't have to see it."
                          Translation- I really do have a problem with your homosexuality, I just don't want to admit it.

                          Originally posted by KitterCat View Post
                          Mentally they have come to the conclusion that they are “ok” with your decision, but emotionally their still stuck on what they’ve been taught all their lives. .
                          Until they get to the ballot box and prove that intellectually they haven't come to that conclusion either.

                          Originally posted by Lace Neil Singer View Post

                          Two men kissing tho; don't mind in the slightest. XD It's cute.
                          I have to agree
                          "I'm Gar and I'm proud" -slytovhand

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by KitterCat View Post
                            Mentally they have come to the conclusion that they are “ok” with your decision, but emotionally their still stuck on what they’ve been taught all their lives..
                            That describes the last 10 years of my life. I realized what I was in high school and have spent 10 years running from it so I kind of understand how it can be a bit uncomfortable for others.
                            Jack Faire
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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by smileyeagle1021 View Post

                              Until they get to the ballot box and prove that intellectually they haven't come to that conclusion either.
                              )
                              Lots of feel good laws are passed this way. When it comes to the legal system there are plenty of laws that are written based of peoples feelings. Don’t believe me, take a look at “sin” taxes. We tax cigarettes, liquor -in various forms and rates- there have been multiple bills for taxing anything with to much fat. Take a look at pedophile laws. Yes it sounds “feels” good to not allow these people around schools, parks, churches but where are they going to live when there isn’t a place that is covered by one of these zones?

                              Why do you think Obama could campaign on gay rights and then backpedaled so fast there aren’t any skid marks that the general public would be willing to see? Unfortunately your going to have to wait until either more than 50% of the population is willing to vote and think with their heads or you get a politician that will actually tell the truth during their campaign. Yah I know that last suggestion is just laughable. Don’t believe me? Than please explain why virtually every time a politician has campaigned on gay rights they’ve never upheld them?

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