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Krappy Karaoke

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  • Krappy Karaoke

    There's only two places locally to do karaoke and they've both started to suck, and for the same reasons.

    First, the KJ likes to DJ while he's KJing. I can understand that if no one is singing, then yes, he has to fill the void with something. However, even on nights when its packed, we're all there for karaoke, and he's still cranking out the Lady Gaga.

    Part of this is because the bossman doesn't want to piss off the regulars by drowning them with karaoke. Well guess what regulars? It's karaoke night. It's not Pool Night, with karaoke on the side. It's Karaoke Night. If you don't want to hear karaoke, come another night. But most of them don't say anything. I don't hear any boos or complaints. So most likely I'm guessing they don't care, and I'm reasonably sure that they'd rather hear what I'm singing than Lady Gaga. Or "fiddy cen".

    Second is the singers. There's three types of singers I've come across at karaoke. The first is the ones who are good singers, but for whatever reason don't have any other outlet for their music. I'd like to think I fall into that group. There's probably four of us there on any given night. But I know that karaoke isn't all about singing good. There's the second group - the ones who have a genuine love for music and want to sing their favorite songs, but dammit, they suck. These ones are ok too because at least they try. And even the ones from the first group have their off nights. And I admire the balls it takes to get up there and grab the mic, especially when you know you suck.

    Then there's the third group - the ones who just want to come fuck around. They're horrible singers, but they don't even try. They just like hearing their voice through the speakers. Most of the time they don't even pay attention to the song. Sometimes its the two drunk chicks who like to make spectacles of themselves. One of them is a friend of mine, and he loves doing it for the sole purpose of pissing everyone else off. He'll put on some something but won't even sing. He'll just make lots of guttural noises and yell at people. "YEAH LET'S ROCK OUT! ROCK OUT! YEAH! I'M BADASS! THIS BAR SUCKS! FUCK YOU! FUCK OFF! HEY WHAT IS THIS A GAY BAR!?!?!?! RAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

    I feel like the third group just takes away from the entire experience. They're not entertaining, they're not funny, they are there just to ruin it for everyone else. Fuck them.

    And finally, proper rotation. Ideally, if you have ten people singing, no matter when they put their songs in, it should go something like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10.

    Not 1 2 3 1 4 1 5 1 1 6 1 7 1 4 5 1 3 2 1......

    Especially not when the crowd is begging the KJ to put my song up because they're sick of the shitty music and the shittier singers.

    And finally - KJ needs to keep the mic volume turned DOWN, so people learn to sing "out" like they need to. And so I don't blow the speakers and my eardrums when I start screaming.

  • #2
    My dad does Karaoke, and even on busy nights, we won't do exclusively karaoke. Why? Because people who sing suck, and we can't stand to listen through 4 hours of your bad tone-deaf singing. In the words of my father, "If you don't like it, there's the door." Rotation is on a first come; first serve basis, unless we don't like you and shuffle you down the list

    You're screaming into the mic? Why?
    Last edited by Hobbs; 03-07-2010, 12:31 AM.

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    • #3
      Cuz that's what I sing. People dig it I guess. I get a lot of requests.

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      • #4
        Eh, karaoke is about having a good, funny, drunk time. There's a local bar that does a fun karaoke night, and honestly, I'd rather have second-rate singers there for fun than a 'professional' who takes it too seriously. I mean, last time, one of my male friends did "Poker Face" and it was hilarious. Practically everybody in the bar was up and dancing with him. Did he sing it well? Hell no. But it was a damn good time.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by DrFaroohk View Post
          Cuz that's what I sing. People dig it I guess. I get a lot of requests.
          I'd ignore their requests too. We hate those songs.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by DrFaroohk View Post
            One of them is a friend of mine, and he loves doing it for the sole purpose of pissing everyone else off. He'll put on some something but won't even sing. He'll just make lots of guttural noises and yell at people. "YEAH LET'S ROCK OUT! ROCK OUT! YEAH! I'M BADASS! THIS BAR SUCKS! FUCK YOU! FUCK OFF! HEY WHAT IS THIS A GAY BAR!?!?!?! RAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
            Haha, next time he does that, you should immediately get up and sing Electric Six's song "Gay Bar". And point right at him while you do it.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Hobbs View Post
              I'd ignore their requests too. We hate those songs.
              What's wrong with those songs? If you don't like them don't have them in the rotation. Not everyone wants to sing Journey and Elvis songs, and not everyone wants to hear them either.

              Eh, karaoke is about having a good, funny, drunk time. There's a local bar that does a fun karaoke night, and honestly, I'd rather have second-rate singers there for fun than a 'professional' who takes it too seriously. I mean, last time, one of my male friends did "Poker Face" and it was hilarious. Practically everybody in the bar was up and dancing with him. Did he sing it well? Hell no. But it was a damn good time.
              I think that's limiting it for no good reason. There's no magical rule that says "Karaoke only about sounding silly and rooking stupid!"

              But to better help you understand - ok, at the place you go, the majority of the people there just do it to screw off. Great. I would imagine its a pretty great time.

              Now imagine that a handful of "decent" singers came in and just ruined it. And now you've got a ghost town karaoke night because no one wants to come. Because it all got ruined. Wouldn't that suck?

              What sucks is that before it was realy great - who cares if we didn't fit into some retarded notion that karaoke is only about one thing? I had fun, the other guys had fun, the crowd loved us, we had people coming specifically to hear us sing. The bar made money. But now that the owner is dicking with it, of course there's less people doing it and the night has shut down to crap. And then he wonders why no one comes on karaoke ni ght anymore. "Well it must be the karaoke! Time to get rid of it!"

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              • #8
                A few of us in the group would go out to Karaoke. We use too. But we sang good and they loved us. We all had good singers out there. Except for the occasional on


                I'd ignore their requests too. We hate those songs.
                Why would you do that? If someone wants to sing it. Then they should be able too. Now, if you didn't have that song then that would be one thing. But To just ignore those songs is another

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by powerboy View Post
                  Why would you do that? If someone wants to sing it. Then they should be able too. Now, if you didn't have that song then that would be one thing. But To just ignore those songs is another
                  It's nice when you own this shit, isn't it?

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                  • #10
                    I don't get it. Is there some sort of thrill to owning karaoke equipment and then just randomly refusing to let people use it just because you can?

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                    • #11
                      I will say that I don't so much enjoy when people do screamo/emo songs on the karaoke. (Or the guy who tried to do "Welcome to the Jungle", screamed the entire time, and the humped a chair.) BUT, if it's on the playlist and somebody picks it, it's pretty dick-ish to not let them do it.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DrFaroohk View Post
                        I don't get it. Is there some sort of thrill to owning karaoke equipment and then just randomly refusing to let people use it just because you can?
                        No, but it's our equipment and we'll do the rotation as we see it. We won't have a slew of screaming songs right after another. We've been in this business for over 30 years, and know a lot more about entertaining in a club than you do.

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                        • #13
                          And finally, proper rotation. Ideally, if you have ten people singing, no matter when they put their songs in, it should go something like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10.

                          Not 1 2 3 1 4 1 5 1 1 6 1 7 1 4 5 1 3 2 1......

                          No. First come first serve. Not everybody is going to be singing the same amount and if somebody puts their song in and waits a long time they shouldn't get bumped down because somebody who hasn't sung in a longer time, but hasn't been waiting either. Just because you think people want to hear you sing it doesn't mean you get to be bumped up before people who follow the procedure.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Hobbs View Post
                            No, but it's our equipment and we'll do the rotation as we see it. We won't have a slew of screaming songs right after another. We've been in this business for over 30 years, and know a lot more about entertaining in a club than you do.
                            I have to respectfully disagree with you. Karaoke is about having a good time. It's not about how you sing. Why does it matter how a person sings?
                            Last edited by RavenStarr; 03-08-2010, 07:06 PM.
                            If I can't bitch, I'll explode- blas87

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                            • #15
                              Hobbs has to be concerned about more than just what one dude wants to sing. A karaoke DJ is responsible for everyone having a good time. Good DJs need to monitor the flow of the party and play selections accordingly. I don't see that being a karaoke DJ would be much different.

                              Have you ever been to a club with a bad DJ? He's the guy that plays all the requests from the cute girls, even if they want to listen to the Spice Girls six times in a row. Or he'll play five slow songs in a row because that's what this one group wants, despite the fact that everyone else is bored to tears.

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