People Who Can't Control Their Emotions

[blas87]

I guess the title could be confusing, I just wasn't sure if these people are called "cryers" or "criers"......

But before I begin, some disclaimers to prevent nitpicking or questioning of my post:

I am not one of those people who thinks no one should ever cry. It's natural and it's healthy. I am also NOT one of those people that thinks it's unacceptable to cry at work, period, I am just about to describe a certain type of people that seem to always be crying.

And no, I am not saying girls are the only people who do this.

I came into work last night to see what was going on before the shift started, and this one girl was wiping tears away from her eyes and going on and on to another girl about what she was crying about. Just a month or so back, I had came into work and she was bawling then, too.

There are people out there who just simply cannot keep their emotions in check, and it annoys the hell out of me. I understand everyone has bad times, I understand horrible things happen to people. I would understand if someone was crying at work because of a death in the family or an emergency and being stuck at work not knowing. I would understand if someone got to their breaking point and had a meltdown every once in a great while. But these people who are constantly crying or in emotional trauma really get on my nerves. It's so hard to work with these people because anyone in general can make them cry without even doing anything offensive or to provoke.

It may surprise some of you (and it surprised me too) to hear this, but my work does offer anger management classes and sensititivity training to employees who are on thin ice of losing their jobs because of their temper or their attitude or inability to get along with others (it's not offered to just ANYONE, it's almost always set up by supervisors and HR and from what I've heard, it's only offered to very good, hardworking, dedicated employees that the supervisor really does not want to have to fire, people who sincerely would be hard if not impossible to replace, but their rage/temper/attitude really hinders their job).

So, if people have had to go to anger management or sessions with HR or sensitivity training, why can't they make these emotionally unstable employees get help? Why are they immune to getting in trouble? I understand that some people with anger issues can be considered dangerous (some, not all, some people just really have a short fuse or a nasty attitude but would never harm a fly. I fully admit to having a short fuse and a nasty attitude and you'll never see me hurt anyone at work) and emotionally unstable people usually are only a danger to themselves, but that doesn't make sense. People with anger problems find themselves at risk for losing their job or their friends or significant others....but when it comes to work, the crybabies ALWAYS seem to win their pissing contests and the person who they pissed with always seems to get in trouble or put on warning because they made the baby cry.

I feel that people who are so unstable that they will start crying or getting overly emotional over anything need the same help that people with bad tempers need. BOTH types of people are a hinder to productivity and the morale of the workplace, well, also in life in general.

If anyone has read this and felt offended, I am very sorry. Unless you are a person who will start crying over someone telling you "Hey, just wanted to let you know that this wasn't fixed all the way, when you have a second could you go over it again and we can get it out of the way?" or start getting defensive and dramatic "WHHHHYYYYY do you always pick on meeee?!", then I am not talking about you. I've had meltdowns at work. I had a full blown temper tantrum where I threw stuff around and stomped my feet two years ago. I have seen just about everyone lose their cool once or twice. That I can respect and understand. Constant crybabies in the workplace, I cannot.

[cewfa]

You're going to probably find this amusing, but I am a man who is probably one of the biggest crybabies you'll ever meet. I cry whenever something makes me angry or upsets me. I used to fly off the handle and lose my temper and throw things. Now I just cry my eyes out, and I feel a lot better after I do.

Having said that, I can take constructive criticism.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I cry when angry, too; tho sometimes I will suppress it and end up with a massive headache. Most of the time, I refuse to suppress my emotions on the offchance that someone might get upset.

I had to go into work the week my friend died in a road accident. His photo and story were on the front page of the local paper. First time I saw the paper, I broke down. The customers I were serving were very sympathetic; as were my collegues. I was allowed to go upstairs and sort myself out before coming back. If someone had dared complain about my tears to my supervisor, they would have gotten short shift.

[blas87]

*sigh*

As I posted in my disclaimer, I never said anyone was a crybaby for coming to work with an emergency on their mind or someone who is more sensitive than most people. I would never call a coworker a crybaby if they were crying at work because they were stuck there not knowing what was going on with a family member or someone had died.

I also never said you're a crybaby if you are more sensitive than others but you can take constructive criticism. I was ranting about a certain coworker who starts bawling the moment anyone tells her anything she doesn't want to hear, like anything negative immediately threatens her and brings on the water works.

Why do I even bother ranting sometimes if everyone isn't even going to read it and some people are going to get defensive and say "Well I did this once and if someone had said something to me there'd be hell to pay!"

I'm not intolerant of other people's feelings. I was venting about people who cannot control their emotions (mostly at work since this was work related) and instantly start the crying and the hysterics when it's not even warranted.

[telecom_goddess]

I understand what you're saying blas and I wouldn't like it either. I know someone who's a crybaby all the time and it gets on my nerves too. And I know she's doing it for attention and sympathy too.

[MaggieTheCat]

I cry really easily. More easily than the average person, for sure. I don't do it for sympathy or attention. It just HAPPENS. One time, I made dinner and asked my husband if he wanted some specific item with it...I don't remember what it was. Something that is very common to eat together in my family but apparently is not common in his family. Like toast and oatmeal, or beans and chili. He gave me this look like I had just spoken Greek and said "No...why would I want that?" and I just lost it. I threw down everything I was working on and sat in the bedroom and cried for half an hour.

Just recently, I got angry at my friend D (I even posted about it here, in my thread called "People who ask for free stuff and put a deadline on it") When I told my mom about that incident, I cried for a while.

Stupid? Yeah. Does it annoy the hell out of me? Absolutely. Can I control it? No. Seriously, I can't. I've been this way for as long as I can remember and it does seriously annoy me. I can say to myself, "I'm not going to cry so easily anymore" and I still can't control it. When a situation comes up that upsets or angers me, I literally cry uncontrollably.

Anyway, I understand why this is annoying to other people. It's annoying to me. I just wanted to add that some people don't actually do it for attention, they just can't help it.

[blas87]

I don't think all, or even most for that matter, of overly sensitive people do it for attention. I believe most of them simply can't control it.

But it's just as bad as not being able to control your temper, at the very least in the workplace, which is mostly what I'm complaining about. I'm almost certain that the girl that this coworker got into it with was the one who got in trouble or given a talking to, while the crybaby just got another freepass to just start on the waterworks any old time someone gives her feedback. And the person she got into it with is a very mild and mellow person, so it's not like they are polar opposites or always at each other's throats. This is just another one of her incidents where she goes over the top and starts bawling over something that isn't even worth getting upset over, and yet another coworker probably gets told to be more "considerate" or some bullshit.

That results in everyone coming to work seeing her cry to roll their eyes and go "Ok, who made her cry this time and where's the spilled milk?"

[Peppergirl]

I get it, Blas.

I can see that 'chicken little' effect, too.

If I were to suddenly cry at work, people would know that something life-altering or earth-shattering has happened and react accordinly.

There's another girl who cries at the drop of a hat, so if something really bad actually happened, no one would really react because we're all so used to it.

I love her to death, but it does get annoying sometimes - so I get what you're saying.

[blas87]

I even admitted before I have a temper issue.....sometimes all out rage. I have never really destroyed anything, but I get mad sometimes and come home and throw my shoes around the apartment or whip my makeup around the bathroom sink, just little stuff like that so I don't make holes or dents or giant messes. Sometimes I grab a pillow and punch it until I wind myself. More than once I have gone out of town, parked next to a farm and some cows, rolled down the window and screamed "MOOOOOOOOOOOO!" just to feel better. Sometimes I even howl back at my cat when she gets pissy with me for no reason.

That may sound mild and not like a raging scary person, but I get upset quite easily at certain people or certain things. Most of the time I hide it, which is not always healthy because I understand it ISN'T good to suppress your feelings, but I would also be homeless and up shit crick without a paddle if I lost my job, so I do the best I can to maintain my composure and let it all out later. It doesn't feel good, but it's all I can do. If I can go on break with a friend and we can be some place alone, I can vent away, or if who is pissing me off isn't around, I can let it out in a mild manner.