Do You REALLY Think I'm That Stupid?

[Greenday]

My FWB, last time she was visiting me and some mutual friends, she told me for the final time, we were ending the benefits part. See: http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=3092

So she wanted to stop because it'd hurt her chances with other guys. Meaning she has another guy lined up. She wouldn't stop flirting with one guy when she was here the visit before that. Meaning she was interested in him. Plus, word gets around from people I'm friends with that is friends with the guy.

And just now while we are chatting, she gave me the "we need to stop because I like someone else speech". Wait, I thought we had this. I mean, she told us we were done hooking up the last time she came here and hung out with the guy all weekend. Does she think I'm that dumb? It's so freaking obvious a person with no eyeballs could see it. I'm actually pretty insulted she didn't think I'd catch on. And she just literally said, "lol I thought i was trying to hide it, obvious fail lol" She definitely did a worse case of hiding than soldiers in the 1600s fighting in lines.

I also know she's interested in dating the guy. I also know from a mutual friend that he was pissed he didn't get any after courting all day. Kinda figured that's what he was after but obviously my friend isn't too perceptive. I hope everything works out for her, I really do. But this could be her first experience in a guy just trying to get in her pants and nothing else. Too bad this isn't something I can just tell her. It's a tough lesson we all have to learn. Plus I'll just get that "you're jealous" speech any time a guy tries to tell a girl the guy she's after is a douche, even when we are right. That and our friends will give me shit about it.

[Peppergirl]

You'll probably catch shit for this thread too, Greenday.

I'm a pretty big proponent of FWB's if handled correctly. She didn't. She wasn't honest. What was the point in lying about it?

[Greenday]

You'll probably catch shit for this thread too, Greenday.

I'm a pretty big proponent of FWB's if handled correctly. She didn't. She wasn't honest. What was the point in lying about it?

If I was worried about catching shit, I wouldn't post on Fratching. I know I have unpopular opinions.

It's her right to stop. I don't care. I always knew we'd stop when someone wanted to start dating. I'm just pissed cause she thinks I was dumb enough to not notice.

[Peppergirl]

I was just kidding with you.

And I agree, it sounds to me like there wasn't any reason to be dishonest about it. I hate when I have my intelligence insulted too.

[Plaidman]

You owe her as a friend to be honest with her. Yeah, she may think your just being jealous, but if you are honest, and tell her that you belive that he is just after her for a booty call and nothing more, you did the right thing.

It may work out, it may not.

You care for her, and yeah, you could be there for after the fact, but if she gets wind that you knew he was only after her for sex, it could really backfire.

Let her know you SUPPORT her going out with him if she chooses, but she should be WARY that he MIGHT want her as a booty call and nothing more.

Rather then the apporch of "Dont date this ass, he'll screw you and leave ya"

This way you let her know that he MIGHT be attending to do that, and if he does do that, you were right (not that you should rub that at all in her face) but it proves that you are indeed more then just a friend. Your a true friend. If he doesn't, again, you only let her be slightly on guard rather then let her get emontionally attached to a jackass.


Then again, I have crap experence with girls, so your more then welcome to flip me off and tell me to get experence with women before I dare give relation advice.

[Red Panda]

You're pissed that she was straight forward and told you what was going on instead of assuming you automatically knew? Even though you had figured things out you should still be happy she wanted the two of you to be on the same page. Stand up comedians are always telling me women shouldn't assume men know whats on their minds.

[Greenday]

No I'm pissed she thought I was too dumb to see what was going on when it was so obvious.

[Red Panda]

Except you say she thought it wasn't obviouse.

I think its weird you are so angry that somebody thought it wasn't obviouse they liked somebody else. Thats a very bizarre feeling to have.

I'm wondering if maybe being friends with benefits was the best idea. You sound pretty jelous.

[Greenday]

Except you say she thought it wasn't obviouse.

I think its weird you are so angry that somebody thought it wasn't obviouse they liked somebody else. Thats a very bizarre feeling to have.

I'm wondering if maybe being friends with benefits was the best idea. You sound pretty jelous.

Because it was obvious. Everyone in our group of friends knew that she was interested in this guy. If talking about someone a ton and spending all your time with him is your attempt to make me believe nothing is going on, then I have every right to be upset that you think I'm dumb enough to fall for that. She put no effort into trying to hide it yet expected me not to catch on somehow. It's an insult to my intelligence.

And I'm not jealous. She's still one of my best friends. She sends me care packages, tells me her problems, listens to my problems. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

[crashhelmet]

So if I'm understanding this right, she had already told you that it needed to stop because she liked some new guy. Then in a much later conversation, told you again that it needed to stop?

She's either forgetful or there is more going on than you're telling us, like you two hooking up since that first conversation or you trying to keep the benefits continuing.

CH

[Red Panda]

What it sounds like to me she said it needed to stop because she thought the relationship would hurt her finding a real boyfriend. Then later she said she was interested in somebody specific and possibly reiterated they couldn't be FWB. Then she revealed who she liked because she thought Greenday didn't know and Greenday is mad because she didn't assume he knew things she didn't know he knew.

[Greenday]

She's either forgetful or there is more going on than you're telling us, like you two hooking up since that first conversation or you trying to keep the benefits continuing.

CH

I guess forgetful. It sounds ridiculous but we had the same conversation twice basically about us stopping and why, but for some reason she tried to hide the why after the first conversation and thought I wouldn't have noticed.

RP, it's like a kid with cookie crumbs around their mouth trying to say they didn't just eat cookies before dinner. Who are you trying to fool? You spend all your time with one person and talking about one person, then you tell me we can't hook up because you are interested in being with other guys, I'm not really sure how she expected me not to connect the two.

[Red Panda]

Its not about your perspective in how easy it is to realize it, its about her thinking she was hiding it. You are mad at her because she didn't know you knew something she was keeping a secret. Thats a silly thing to get mad about.

[Greenday]

Thats a silly thing to get mad about.

Ok, how about this? I was fighting with my mom today because my dad was coming to take me out to dinner. So she had to go on a long rant about how could I just forget everything he's put us through, etc. etc. Again, I'd have to be a complete idiot to actually forget it all. She always treats me like I'm stupid when it comes to my dad.

[Red Panda]

That sounds like a fair thing to get mad about. The differance is that your mom knows your knowledge on the subject. Your friend thought you didn't know and you are angry because she didn't know that she is bad at hiding secrets and thought you didn't know and wanted you to know.