People who ignore/ditch their friends & family for their new boyfriend/girlfriend

[Sarah Valentine]

My friend Mike does this every time he gets a girlfriend, he spends all his time with her ignoring calls and texts from almost everyone but her. Everyone has finally had enough of this shit, today was it for me. We were supposed to hang out tonight and chill so I call him this morning to ask what time I should come over and he tells me not to. I asked him why and he gave me an attitude saying not to because he had plans, I told him I asked him if I could come over since he was off today and he said yes. I told him to let me know if he had plans when I asked him yesterday and he said he was free and that I'll see him tomorrow night (tonight), he gave me even more of an attitude flat out denying he said anything like that and said that he's gonna go out with his girlfriend. I said god forbid you should hang out with your friends, you don't have to spend every minute with her whenever you're not working. I didn't give him a chance to respond to that, I hung up the phone. We made plans a week ago for this Tuesday, if he bails on me again I'm gonna tear him a new one. I'm already going to for today.

[Ipecac Drano]

I know that it's only platonic between you two, but "dump" his ungrateful ass.

(Right now, I'm having issues with my (soon-to-be-former) best friend, so I'm bitter.)

[Sarah Valentine]

It's not just me but everybody else too, even his parents and his brother are pissed off too. I called his brother after I hung up on him and he said he'd beat his ass if he ever yelled at me like that again.

[Ipecac Drano]

Everybody should cut him off; maybe he'll get the message. Throw a huge party and not invite him.

[Sarah Valentine]

I've called a couple people and one of them suggested doing that with this years new years party. I seriously think we should.

[Ipecac Drano]

I've called a couple people and one of them suggested doing that with this years new years party. I seriously think we should.

So... Am I on the list?

[Sarah Valentine]

Where do you live?

[Ipecac Drano]

Where do you live?

I was just kidding about that. I'm clear out in the Midwest.

[Greenday]

This is pretty much the norm with people when they start dating. Hanging out with them again is almost an impossibility. And if they do go out with friends, they HAVE to bring their precious SO everywhere because God forbid they leave them for just one second.

[Amanita]

I had a friend do that to me while I was living in Toronto. To make matters worse, his BF was a jealous, controlling freak, who lived in the same house as the rest of us. That asshole not only isolated my friend, he tore apart the atmosphere of that home, and made me feel like a marginalized and unwelcome outsider. My friend was even afraid of what would happen when I stood in their bedroom door to talk to him, and the boyfriend saw me there.
Fuck. Nowdays I hope I would have the spine to tell both my friend AND the BF off.

[AdminAssistant]

Welllll....Fiance just moved in (yay!), so..yeah, I'm going to be spending most of my spare time with him at first. First of all, this is the ending of a LDR, so being together is awesome. Secondly, he doesn't have any friends here, not really. So, when my friends go out, I'll want to take him along, so he can meet people and get to know the town. As he starts work and meets people...then we can do things separately more often. But right now, we're pretty much glued at the hip.

[bhskittykatt]

On one hand, everyone has to accept that when someone's in a new relationship, they're going to have new time commitments and need to respect that the new couple needs some time together. On the other hand, diving too deep to the point of cutting out all contact is pretty douchebaggy. There needs to be a happy medium somewhere.

I'd probably lay it all out with your buddy, since maybe he's just oblivious. If he doesn't want to try and compromise, then I'd probably give him a lot of distance. I wouldn't cut him out right away, though, since I've had friends who cut off all contact because their SO was an abusive mind-controlling and child molesting dirtbag and they needed some lifeline to the outside world, so perhaps that's just my experience. But assuming an abusive SO is out of the picture, then perhaps rethinking the friendship after a conversation with him would be in order.

[Sarah Valentine]

I talked to him today and told him that I know it's a new relationship, but he can't just ditch us and spend every waking second with her when he's not at work. I also told him that he better not dare even think about ditching me on Tuesday or else, he told me ok I got it and apologized about raising his voice to me.

[blas87]

I used to think that way before I was in a really serious relationship.

This is probably a whole different thing, but I can't stand when single people still want their friends to live "the bachelor/ette life" with them even after they've gotten into a relationship, moreso a long term one. It really drives me bananas that my bf's single friends or friends in relationships that do nothing but drink together always want him to come out with them. It's time to grow up and be adult-like. Sorry no one wants to date you, that doesn't mean you can try to take my bf away and try to make him act like a single man again.

[Peppergirl]

I used to think that way before I was in a really serious relationship.

This is probably a whole different thing, but I can't stand when single people still want their friends to live "the bachelor/ette life" with them even after they've gotten into a relationship, moreso a long term one. It really drives me bananas that my bf's single friends or friends in relationships that do nothing but drink together always want him to come out with them. It's time to grow up and be adult-like. Sorry no one wants to date you, that doesn't mean you can try to take my bf away and try to make him act like a single man again.

It cuts both ways.

I'm a big believer in people in relationships getting to spend at least *some* time with their friends. Sure, it shouldn't be nearly the level it was when they were single, but occasional time out with friends is a good thing if its done in moderation.

Although with the clowns YOUR bf seems to run with, I can definitely understand why you'd feel the way you do, hon.