Me

[Kimmik]

Yup you read that right, currently I hate me. Why you may ask? Well I have a problem, not a huge glaring problem that people can see but a very painful, shameful, and irritating problem. I have a stupid perfection complex... people around me can screw up because that is ok for them, but for me, well lets just say it is not pretty.

I know stupid reason to hate yourself, right? One of the reasons that I do not edit my post online is simple: I try to write what I am thinking in a free writing process that way I dont go and edit my post to death. I know a few on here are annoyed at my use of the ... for me those are sorta like pauses when you speak.

Now normally most people would think a perfection complex would drive one to be the best that they can be, a dancer, runner, martial artist, etc. Sadly for me it is a major hurdle and source of shame and guilt and more then once self punishment. It pisses off my husband, drives my friends insane, and makes me feel like a failure.

I can not even write a simple shopping list without going through half a note book of paper. I have been working on a novel now for a long while except I get about half way through and then my brain tells me that I am shit, it is shit and I delete it. And right now I am working on cooking for tomorrow and I am all I am a fuck up it is not right omg will they like this...

Fucking I hate myself for being this way... meh! thanks for letting me vent... feel better sorta.

[blas87]

You are your own worst critic. Always remember that.

And it's nothing to be ashamed of. If it makes you feel that way, just work on trying to change

[Teysa]

*hugs* I can understand how you feel. I'm very forgiving of other people's mistakes but if I mess up, no matter how minor, I'm mentally beating myself up over it two weeks later.

I guess the questions you need to ask yourself are:

1. Did anyone die? If no, then the mistake wasn't too terrible.

2. Was anyone injured? If no, then the mistake still wasn't too terrible.

3. Is is something easily fixed? If yes, then stop berating yourself and fix it.
If no, then stop berating yourself and find
someone who can fix it.

The main thing to remember though is none of us are perfect. All you can do is work on improving and trying to do better each day. You just can't let the fear of making mistakes keep you from doing the things your love. Next time the desire to write hits you, instead of deleting it if you decide it isn't good enough, save it and start a new file. That way, you can look over the original later when you're in a more forgiving frame of mind.

Enjoy your dinner and remember your family loves you.