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  • #1

    Fake Niceness

    At first this was going to be a rant about most of my family, who probably wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire. Except during the holidays..when I am the best thing since butter.

    Reading another thread here though, made me realize something. Any fake niceness is sad. Now I can understand being nice to a customer, or such..when its your job..I'm not talking about "Hi! How are you today!" or anything.

    I am talking about the type of 'Niceness' where people say one thing to a person's face..then the opposite the minute they are not nearby. If you don't like me, tell me to my face. I am ok with you not liking me, can't please everybody. ((Offtopic it's like the shirts I see : I can only be nice to one person a day and today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good for you either)) .

    Don't sweet talk me to my face, then badmouth me behind my back. Honesty goes further with me.

    Anyhow, back to the family...

    I am .. the black sheep of the family. Some are racist (I'm not), some are sexist (again I'm not) etc. So .. they don't like me, for various reasons. Which I am fine with. When they visit for the holidays. however, you'd think I parted the sea and turned water to wine. At least to my face, second my back is turned..I am the most vile thing on the planet.

    How dare I think that the color of somebody's skin isn't important! How dare I think that women are for more then being barefoot and pregnant..etc. They can say it to my face. They don't like me, I don't like them..the world is a much better off place for it .

    Yeah, the truth hurts...and a lot of people keep telling me about something called 'Tact'..I prefer being upfront and honest. Saves a lot of headaches. Now..dang it I am rambling again. Happy Holidays!
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  • #2
    Originally posted by Mytical View Post

    Yeah, the truth hurts...and a lot of people keep telling me about something called 'Tact'..I prefer being upfront and honest. Saves a lot of headaches. Now..dang it I am rambling again. Happy Holidays!
    Just pointing out that Tact doesn't equal Lying. Just means stating the truth in a way that doesn't seek to offend.

    A tactful way for your family to tell you to your face would be, "I don't agree with your views on race and women's rights."

    Which, granted, isn't doing much, cause them's some f*cked up views (your family's, not yours).
    I have a drawing of an orange, which proves I am a semi-tangible collection of pixels forming a somewhat coherent image manifested from the intoxicated mind of a madman. Naturally.

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    • #3
      would suggest when they are nice, be honest with them either tactfully or not?

      such as "Hi to you to! Sorry, though, I don't share those feelings, please, go talk to someone else?"

      not trying to tell you what to say, but probably ended up doing that anyways
      Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
      Yeah we're so over, over
      Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

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      • #4
        My advice would be to call them on it. Or, for real fun-o-tainment, set up some unobtrusive recording devices and play back to them what they really think of you. But that's assuming you're willing to burn bridges. I've been there, done that, and my life is much happier and more drama free for it, so I would be in favor of that sort of thing.

        I no longer care about people based on blood relations. The only people who are truly family are the people who I love and who love me back.

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        • #5
          I've noticed the same phenomenon when people pass away, especially if there is the possibility of some sort of inheritance. If the deceased was the worst person alive, making everybody's life miserable .. the moment they are no longer living they were a saint. Confuses the heck out of me. Now I understand not disrespecting the dead, but singing their praises..even when not true?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ladeeda View Post
            Just pointing out that Tact doesn't equal Lying. Just means stating the truth in a way that doesn't seek to offend.
            Right on.

            I'd like to add that sometimes, you just have to let that shit go.

            When my family gets discussing topics that I feel they are ignorant about, I bite my tongue. I don't want to upset my grandmother and ruin her Christmas dinner.

            http://www.theonion.com/articles/95-...to-family,490/

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            • #7
              I don't like to admit it, but I can be really fake. Not bubbly ditzy fake, but I'm pretty good at pretending like I care what someone says or pretending to be nice to someone at work or in places where it's not a good idea to say what you really feel.

              But it's for the best, at work, if I act like I give a shit or care about my coworkers. It really is. If I were to say what I really thought of others, there would probably be something physical, and I'd probably be in a lot of trouble.

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